Divisive 2020s Horror

 

Divisive 2020s Horror

by Kristin Battestella

This trio of recent scary movies caters to a specific contemporary viewer, and I'm late to the party in watching these horror movies that were not meant for me. This doesn't make them all terrible, just misrepresented and thus a split viewing experience.

Not Meant for My Age Group

Bodies Bodies Bodies – Interracial chicks necking, dominant declarations of love, cool music cues, and texting while driving to the hurricane party horrors open director Halina Reijn's (Instinct) 2022 satire from A24. Crisscrossing flirtations, warnings, nervous chitchat, and awkward facades pepper the poolside manor, matching robes, and champagne. Fake compliments, judgmental introductions, weird old dude Lee Pace (The Hobbit), and who didn't text their RSVP but shows up late anyway provide attitude. Supposed friends mock one for being sober amid the intoxicated revelry, and it's immediately apparent we would not like these people in real life. The drugged up dancing, videoing, and Pete Davidson (Saturday Night Live) punching people gets old fast, dragging the first half hour. Nobody really wants to be here, and this social circle doesn't actually seem like friends at all. Such oversharing frienemy exposure of personal details, sex, history, and relationships is part of the social commentary satire, certainly. However everyone is so unlikable that it interferes with enjoying the movie. A man declares “gaslighting” as an overused word while he yet gaslights, and the script lays on annoying bait words to make these insufferable people sound smarter than they are. Fortunately, things improve when they decide to play the titular game and actual deaths occur. Flashlights and point of view spotlights lead to the power going out for real, but the search for the generator or attempts to leave (while selfishly leaving those you claim to love behind) are abandoned because our hysterical chicks don't know what to do in an emergency. Red lights, neon glows, kitchen knives, thunder, and blood accent conflicts about Xanax, who's not respecting who's boundaries, or making everything about themselves. Arguments about whether a man they knew for a few weeks was a vet as in veteran or veterinarian also reveal how our lifelong friends don't really know or even like each other. Standoffs and backstabbing remove the ineffectual men early, and the old white rich demean the new Black wealthy as merely upper middle class. Everyone is a follower, feigning allegiance while claiming enabler triggers and para-social toxicity as the conversation goes round and round over who's lying, screwing behind who's back, in therapy, or rolling their eyes. It's no surprise when they snap, shoot each other, and insist the others made them do it before denying they fired at all. The realistic filming is well directed and not over edited with well done angles and attention to lighting schemes complimenting the confrontations. The cast does the emo seriousness well, but even at ninety-three minutes, the pointing fingers me me me round and round deflection becomes damn unbearable. Four credited writers seems like too many as the meta nuggets stray. The horror label is also misleading – this is a black comedy that isn't scary but rather a midnight chuckle you watch while you scroll through your phone.

This is a Comedy

Malignant – 1993 hospitals, electrical buzzing, and doctors resorting to the tranquilizer gun against bone cracking violence open this 2021 film that should have been clearly marketed as the parody it is. Edgy time wasting credits, overly ambitious music, and a silly script initially appear to be just another bad horror movie as we move to the present day with a stereotypical spooky old house, retro shabby style, too much fog, and an excessive nighttime blue gradient. Our pregnant nurse repeatedly sees blood from her head injury thanks to an abusive husband but does nothing about it. Shadow monster things attack before sirens, police, and two weeks later disjointed restarts take too long to tell what's happening. That may be part of the satire but it's too easy to tune out in the first half hour. There's noticeable attention to peephole visuals, sideways distortions, and overhead camera angles amid blenders that come on by themselves, boo crescendos, flickering street lamps, and dark figures that send our protagonist running through the house closing the curtains like that will stop all the horror. Cool cityscape transitions begat pointless Seattle Underground tour jokes about Nirvana – just in case that shot of the Space Needle wasn't enough. It's tough to tell what is an in scene bang or an ominous score boom, and more music cues come from a strategically placed old fashioned radio. The distorted killer voice and the monster's leaps are silly, and blood splatter hits the screen before morphing panoramic set spins and screams merge the point of view and crime scene. By this point it should be obvious that this is a deliberate parody as the psychic bond, sketch artist picture of a hairy monster, and trophy for surgery excellence turned murder weapon cannot be taken seriously. The angry Black woman cop, ditsy sister, and quirky, lovelorn coroner are typical female cliches on top of convenient photo evidence and easy deductions. It's not halfway thru the movie and the parasitic twist is as obvious as the Slivercup sign spoof. Not so hidden hidden jump drives and all in her head winks – it's a good thing her imaginary friend killer calls with what's what on mom, hypnosis, spooky flashbacks, and the home video scoop. Adoption secrets, abandoned hospitals, a man in the attic, and VHS a la found footage lead to preposterous fire escape leaps, a laughable puppet monster, medical inexplicable, nonsensical shootouts, and mental showdowns that ultimately wear too thin to sustain the lark. If you want straight, superior, self-aware horror stick with New Nightmare or Scream. However, it's bemusing that today's so-called prestige television shows are guilty of seriously presenting these exact same cliches, and Annabelle Wallis (The Tudors) sending up her previous bad horror movie roles ironically makes for one of her best performances. This would have been genius if it was labeled a comedy and came in under ninety minutes. Unfortunately, going into this expecting a decent horror movie puts it off on the wrong foot and the overlong playing at clever runs into the ground by repeating the repeated gags too many times. Honestly though, I can't believe anyone thought this was a real horror movie.

An Uneven Execution

No Exit – Familiar faces and diverse newcomers anchor this 2022 Hulu Original as phone calls from ill family and group therapy hogwash lead to escapes from rehab, a perilous blizzard, and a highway visitor center with no Wi-Fi for our stranded strangers. Hazardous white outs, whipping wipers, and blustery winds acerbate relapse temptations. However, dream fake outs and slow, redundant moments create unnecessary padding before we get to the discovery of a van in the parking lot with a bound victim in the back. Playing cards should be a great way to get to know everyone and suss out the kidnapper but time is again wasted on the rules of the game. Characters pointing out the bluffs denies viewers the chance to observe the poker faces and deduce clues regarding origins, military history, license plates, and destinations for ourselves. The suspect is also apparent, almost as if it's the audience that's being played, and the women's bathroom being under construction means there are tools that will obviously come in handy later. In the van close calls, food necessities, illness complications, footprints in the snow, and confiding in some but not others about what to do provide suspense. Unfortunately, adults sit inside and wonder if something is wrong as if this is taut, one location intense. Then others who never sit still roam outside without coats and fall down ravines to create unnecessary up a minute detours and stupid encounters because the script says so. The back and forth intercutting deflates any tension, and even the well lit interiors contrasting the tough to see dark snow scenes is harsh on the audience eye. This is based on a novel, and the left field twists and sudden flashbacks can be read but become entirely too convenient and poorly paced for a ninety minute horror movie. Past connections, financial revelations, Mace, cat-fishing, trafficking, gunshots, and nail guns get preposterous as the on and on mediocrity bends all logic. Bad guys with guns negotiate through a blockaded front rather than enter through the back construction exit? Cops don't radio the place is on fire upon arrival? Today this is a serviceable midwinter scary movie because viewers have been lulled into accepting the thrown at the screen flaws as entertaining, but the potential versus execution unravels here.

Goodbye Netflix and More Streamers

 

Getting Rid of Netflix and More Streamers

by Kristin Battestella

At the beginning of 2023, I took some Hot Takes on our Streaming Channels. Now, in another round of cost cutting and family viewing choice, we have finally said goodbye to Netflix and more thanks to rising prices and lack of content interest. Many households can't afford big streaming bucks anymore, and the saturated market makes it easy to bid adieu.

Going, Going, Gone

AMC + – This is a actually a decent service with potentially worthwhile programming across AMC, Shudder, IFC, BBC America, and Sundance. We pick it up every time there is an add on sale. However we always end up feeling guilty carrying it if we aren't actively watching or worse, forget about it and don't even notice when it expires. I also wonder how much their livestream channels on other free services eat into their subscriptions, for unless you are following their exclusives, this isn't an always must have streamer.

STARZ – Likewise, Starz is great as an add on sale for their back catalog of retro movies stemming from their Encore channels. Unfortunately, we don't watch much of their original programming – Dangerous Liaisons seemed decent but was canceled and disappeared. Rather than being an independent service, Starz seems to forget that they are best as a premium channel package licensing a lot of movies that aren't available elsewhere.

Disney + – Disney also shot itself in the foot by becoming its own service rather than partnering with an existing platform. We've seen everything vault we wanted to see. New Star Wars and Marvel shows don't appeal to us anymore. The price is getting higher despite the subscriber and content plateau. Even The Mouse realizes they over extended themselves by making series and sequels on in no exaggeration every IP ever, then canceled and disappeared many of them when no one watched. Disney should have made it's content a la carte Hubs on Hulu, and I'm sure there will be more shake ups between the two to come.

Paramount + with Showtime – Even with the lure of Star Trek originals, there's not enough for us to justify the rising costs here. Showtime alone was never worth the price, and their few horror exclusives aren't worth the extra pay point. For what should be a vast library of classic content, Paramount seems to have very little retro catalog material. Most of the shows they offer are available elsewhere – including the fellow CBS owned Pluto TV where Paramount+ is desperately advertising themselves nonstop. When we canceled, they did offer us two months free, but then I didn't even notice once it was gone.

FIOS Cable – We dropped most of our cable package years ago, but I completely forgot we didn't actually cut the cord because I don't know when I actually watched our cable last. It's a far cry from the decades of yore tying us to our television same bat time, same bat channel, yet streamers are trying to keep viewers via the same exclusivity. We were really only hanging on for local sports coverage, but the Flyers stunk last year and it was the first time I haven't watched them since they were only available on the radio in the eighties. Although I used to actively DVR shows and we'd need Max again for the TCM content, I've instead sought to sure up my physical media collection.

Netflix – After twenty years, we finally accepted there is no point in carrying the granddaddy of streaming as the price goes up and the quality of the content goes south. It feels like 95% originals I'm not watching pad their catalog – all meant to lookalike, autoplay, and chill. When there were only a handful of streamers, one could contently watch everything Netflix had to offer, but today it's impossible to keep up with everything thrown at the screen. I don't care about what is trending, most viewed, new, or popular, and retro content before the 1980s is all but nonexistent. With the DVD disc queue where one could find something unavailable elsewhere now a thing of the past, Netflix just doesn't have what we want to watch.

Keeping for Now

Prime Video – Amazon unfortunately has viewers over barrel. We won't get rid of Prime Video regardless of pricing or commercial changes because of other Prime and Amazon shopping benefits. We don't really watch any of their original content, and they already have their own ad bumpers before movies or between episodes despite the Prime commercial free claim compared to their FAST FreeVee. It's probably just a matter of time before there are no commercial free options altogether. Amazon's interface can be very frustrating and you really have to hunt for their quality content thanks to the clunky search options. However as a service it has enough catalog choices and add on options to keep us watching.

Britbox – We always have Britbox as a Prime add on subscription. We love the back catalog of British shows, and the price remains reasonably right. Having what we want to watch for the price of admission? Honestly, that's all we ask of a streamer.

Hulu – My husband watches Hulu original series and me their sitcom classics. We don't care about a lot of recent shows or reality crap and never used the ESPN option in our previous bundle, but we may return to the Hulu Live option in the future if those bum Flyers win some games. We like Hulu as a service with a quality catalog, some original perks, and customizable add on options. I only worry how Disney may run Hulu into the ground rather than realize they need this platform. There is more streaming content than consumers can ever watch, and sadly Hulu might not survive the ongoing industry upheavals.

FAST – The guilt of paying for services with exclusives we aren't watching mainly stems from our watching the free ad supported services like Tubi, Pluto TV, FreeVee, and YouTube more. Although, we are watching The Roku Channel less thanks to their absolutely obnoxious self promotion commercial loops. It's bothersome being peppered with all ads hard selling the streamer itself or it's premium parent, rather than you know, dish soap or laundry detergent. The random algorithm timed ads on FreeVee can cut in mid-sentence, too. Each interface certainly has its problems, and pop up ads now adorn the screen even when you pause. However for free catalog content with plenty of new movies and old shows to keep us entertained, we don't mind short commercials with timed notifications counting down onscreen – it's soft marketing and a chance for a bathroom break. Hot diggity.

Physical Media – What do I do when I can't find what I want streaming? I pop in the DVD or Blu-ray or even in desperation, the VHS. The continued giveth and taketh expansion and excess greed of streaming platforms are only going to drive consumers back to alternative viewing means and personal media ownership.

Contemporary Mothers in Horror

 

Contemporary Mothers in Horror

by Kristin Battestella

There's a difference between depicting scared mothers and daughters facing horror versus just showing the horrors to the audience. Two international tales here placing characterization above scary visuals make for effective familial scares. Unfortunately, the over-stylized American production is more interested in making viewers jump then telling the household horrors.

Matriarch – Creepy creeks and murky swamps begat the concrete city, jogging, and minuscule peaches for Jemima Rooper (Hex) in this 2022 Hulu Original. The first finite sound we hear is the bulimic bitter over the toilet before alcohol and the Monday morning business suit barely hides the drug fueled hookups and unstable drinking alone. A bloody nose, smeared lipstick, an overdose collapse, and black ooze encroaching into the mouth make for a fine mix of realistic consequences and a reaching out from beyond death chilling. Awkward phone calls from her “evil narcissistic bitch” mother Kate Dickie (Prometheus) remind each why they're estranged, and the villagers are frank about never having liked Laura when she returns to her mother's redecorated home. All things pink Mom is looking fancy, too, and their painful history comes out in the shattered tea cups, crushed pills in the pancakes, and recollections of how she called Laura a pig and threatened to tape her mouth shut. One on one conversations layer the character drama while eerie moonlit silhouettes, bruises, and black goo on the pillow and in the panties keep the horror simmering beneath the surface. Mom tells her to drink her water and watches her sleep before dragging the unconscious Laura out to the greenhouse. Rather than some shocking revelation withheld from the viewer, the fountain of youth suspicious is upfront thanks to whispering neighbors, effigies tied to trees, and a spooky book with weird sex symbols. The supple beauty that a woman sacrifices for an ungrateful daughter interferes with the village quid pro quo, and the drunken old minister – part of the lone biracial family going against the spooky happenings – argues with the obsessed townsfolk over these misused old ways. Who's dying, why cancer takes one but not another, and parents gone willing versus those taken too soon anchor the twofer debates. Our daughter wonders if spirits of the deceased still in the black bog revived her while her increasingly adamant mother tries to hit Laura on the head with a plant. The mother nature life, death, worms imagery and earlier, corrupted goddess worship are shrewdly withheld until the finale as smeared, dirty goo and gory rituals reveal how this mother's milk that goes against nature cannot last. Greedy charlatans in any religion are the same – poisoning the hymns, kneeling, and communion with nudity, suckling, flesh, blood, and “squelching” closed captions. Those expecting American horror cliches will be disappointed at this slow burn. However the realistic contemporary characterizations and well paced throwback British folk horror herein deserve more audience attention.

Surrogate – Making sure there are no monsters in the closet opens this 2022 Australian parable. Of course the fun uncle jumps out from under the bed, and it's the best genuine jump scare I've seen in a long time. Unfortunately, our single mother nurse Kestie Morassi (Wolf Creek) helps a freaky retching lady in the car park, and now Natalie's the one in pain, vomiting, and bleeding in bed. Her daughter has to do a video for school on her family tree – an interesting new way to introduce mom, uncle, grandma, dog, cat. There's no dad but the emergency stirrups and bloody gauze point to not just a recent pregnancy but a delivery and family services caseworker Jane Badler (V) wants to know what Natalie has done with the newborn. Rather than wasting time on gory labor horrors, the dialogue gets to what's what. Our nine year old daughter Rose wants to sleep in mom's bed because a girl keeps pinching her and the caseworker spots the bruises – adding real world complications amid the supernatural without any stereotypical ghostly roars coming at the camera. Cutting away rather than showing preposterous action adds to the mystery, and realistic conversations anchor the fears that something else is in the house as their dog is poisoned and someone pushes Rose down the stairs. They spend a few nights with grandma, but more pet perils and ladder mishaps lead to eerie, quiet scares and a tearful funeral where our daughter hides under the tablecloth because “she came with us.” A psychic little girl at the playground interacts with their now phantom, invisible dog. She uses mirrors to see a spirit's true nature, and the audience waits for something to appear as the camera pans across our innocent medium and her flanking reflections. Ava asks our ghost if she will be friends or hurt her and make her look where she shouldn't, and the in camera tension is palpable– no extra shaky shocks or special effects laden filming required. We as audience voyeur have no choice but to see the clinging reflection that makes them scream. Viewers are left to notice her increasing gray hair without any scary emphasizing moment, and we see Natalie watching the news video of a missing girl instead of the footage playing for us. It's creepy how she knocks on the real mother's door feigning car trouble and casually snoops around before being caught in another natural jump scare. Inquiries on if she's a true crime podcaster add horror self-awareness as the foolish investigation realistically fails. Natalie returns to the research, deducing and using her nurse connections – leading to the morgue, an abandoned house, the dark basement, and graffiti answers. Our caseworker says Natalie needs help, but she knows that child services aren't the ones to help her now. Whether it was a low budget necessity or an old school choice, the ghostly hand reaching out and leaving deadly little fingerprints is simple, scary, and effective compared to today's invisible whooshes and womp womp crescendos. Well done foreshadowing recalls where we started as creepy resolutions and warnings to never turn your back on your child escalate to the sacrifices mothers make for their daughters once they promise to never leave them. Several times I thought I had this figured, and it's refreshing that I didn't.

Skip It

Umma – Mom Sandra Oh (Grey's Anatomy) does the best she can in this 2022 supernatural tale with time wasting credits eating into the eighty-three minute runtime and disjointed montages showing the happy beekeeping, no electricity life on the farm. Flashes of past electrical torture have relegated old lamps and microwaves to the cellar, leaving only candles during the storms when something ghostly might be sitting in the chair. The nighttime blue saturation, however, is too difficult to see, even deliberately obtuse for the viewer. Rather than really meeting our family in conversation, the forced exposition is cryptic for the sake of it with confusing character motivations. Our clingy daughter is secretly inquiring about going away to college, and Mom has denied teaching her about their Korean heritage because of her claimed allergy to electronics. She's upset when a car approaches – we know because up close cuts to ominous objects and fist clenches hit the audience over the head. Her uncle has brought her recently deceased abusive mother's ashes, but the bumps in the night and past painful pleas were already there before the tainted effigies. The isolated house setting is almost immediately broken with redundant exposition as the handyman arrives to sell their honey online and our daughter rides her bike to his general store so they can again talk about honey and meet his visiting niece. Such outside points of view asking if she really thought her daughter was going to stay there forever are unnecessary, and voiceover echoes repeat dialogue we heard moments before – underestimating viewers while trying to distract us with eerie slow motion and ominous crescendos. We don't need more electrical torture flashes and echoes at every encounter, either. The titular apparitions are just fake outs for the audience, and the overemphasis on beekeeping, honey, and not even actually liking bees never factors into the horror. More incidental spooky vignettes happen just so our mother can tell her daughter nothing is wrong, yet she tells the white man handyman her suspicions while our daughter snoops anyway. It's impossible to tell what is actually part of the story or just a spooky effect, making for an extremely frustrating viewing. By time the daughter demands to be told, her mother just repeats everything the uncle said as if there is no story to the past abuse and her lying all this time. Our daughter turns on the electricity once she realizes her friend had a smartphone that never bothered her mother, but mom insists she doesn't believe in all their cultural robes, ceremonies, and superstitions yet reacts weirdly just as an excuse for more ghostly echoes and eerie zooms. I was ready to tune out in the first half hour and started fast forwarding over the invisible whooshes through the crops before the angry spirit is somehow easily quelled in the final fifteen minutes. The fears of growing old alone and becoming our parents and the strain of the solitary rural living would have been horror metaphors enough without anything ghostly at all. Unfortunately, this does a disservice to the intriguing Korean motifs because it's more interested in being a stereotypical scary movie.