Kristin Battestella looks back on 2023 with a pile of library sale finds, thrift haul goodies, gifts, games, TV Sets, DVDs, VHS, Books, and more!
Visit I Think, Therefore I Review on Twitter or browse our Therefore I Review Video Playlist and remember you can hear us regularly on the Women InSession Podcast at InSession Film!
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Read more from Kristin at InSession Film including:
Thank you for Watching!
Despite a tough 2023, it was important to me to keep up my moonlighting commitments at InSessionFilm, both with Long Form Movie Reviews and Top Ten Lists - not to mention the Women InSession Podcast!
Here's a rundown of everything from Rachel Weisz to Vincent Price:
The Banishing uses Shame as Commentary
She Will Addresses Women's Fears
Statement Making Seventies Science Fiction
Top Ten Michael Fassbender Essentials
The Vincent Price, Roger Corman, Edgar Allan Poe Cycle
Great Bela Lugosi Horrors that aren't Dracula
I'm so grateful to have this film outlet to write, discuss, and share a variety of film thoughts past, present, or obscure! Here's a small sample of some of my favorite Women InSession Podcast episodes:
Top 5 Worst Best Picture Nominees
The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert
Christopher Nolan and The Prestige
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
I don't always get a lot of interaction on Film Twitter, such that X is, but it is a tremendous privilege to share my film discourse with you and thank you for tuning in here, there, everywhere! 🥰
Bad SF Action!
by Kristin Battestella
I caught these bad 1990s science fiction action romps late at night way down in the dearth of FAST live streaming because why not? I had the subtitles on and the volume low, which I suspect helps hide troublesome deliveries and bad crescendos, too. Despite terribly poor special effects that are dated and hokey even for such decades of yore, these pictures are bright and fast moving with a certain earnestness that still provides surprising entertainment.
Dead Space РMacho Marc Singer (V) and doctor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) lead this 1991 Alien rip off oozing with nonsensical mutated viruses, junk metal comic relief robots, babes having steamy dreams in the middle of our monster outbreak disaster, and terribly obvious rubber puppetry of said monstrosity. The space shuttle action and laser battles cut so many production corners that they look like a DOS video game, and everyone running up and down the same space station corridor over and over again is bemusingly apparent. The dialogue is bad and the acting hokey with poor science and confusing story elements. I spotted this listing and tuned in for Singer, but this gets worse as the alien virus mutant thing gets bigger and kills more. Our heroes venture outside in preposterously perilous spacesuit action, yet I can't hate this goofy piece. Inexplicable moments made me laugh out loud. I smiled at The Beastmaster kicking faux monster butt, and the sideways ponytails on the babes took me back. This has very little merit beyond every laughable sci-fi clich̩ thrown at the screen, however I was entertained nonetheless.
Mercenary РTitular Hawk Olivier Gruner (Nemesis) must take vengeful but inexperienced mogul John Ritter (Three's Company) on a dangerous mission in this 1996 action adventure. Certainly, the weak dialogue matches the typical murdered wife angst and the expected reluctance of our capable bad ass to train the unprepared widower. However the cast is charming enough for us to stick with the grouchy good guys through the obvious betrayals, clich̩ set pieces, and of course, the eponymous training montages. This does get really hokey upon entering the villain's medieval castle lair as if we are suddenly in a different movie with rings of fire, killer animal chambers, and fight to the death challenges attempting to distract from what's actually a pretty easy end for the supposedly supreme baddie. Fortunately, explosions, gunfire, and hand to hand combat make for a fun escape. Equipment complaints and jokes about the wrong size shoes pepper jeep chases, helicopter shootouts, and on foot pursuits through various terrains as the mismatched heroes outsmart the mustache twirlers. Though some sequences are laughable, this was better than I expected it to be, and yes, I am game for the hitherto unavailable sequel Mercenary 2: Thick and Thin.
Velocity Trap – In some ways, if you've seen one low budget kick ass Olivier Gruner sci-fi movie, you've seen them all. Recognizable nineties faces including Ken Olant (Summer School), Jaason Simmons (Baywatch), Jorja Fox (Memento), and Yannick Bisson (does anybody else remember Hockey Night or High Tide?) also don some embarrassingly terrible futuristic armor and holster some seriously ludicrous weapons for this 1999 TV Movie. The space pirates hijack asteroids while cop Gruner romances his ex, who's trapped in a marital contract with a sleazy space mining tycoon. A double crossing shootout means our wrongfully punished space policeman is regulated to doing security on a ship carrying $40 billion in mining profits, and this packs a lots in its short time with everything from no ammo left in the gun humor and corny but creative space pirate battles. The requisite spaceship on the cheap reusable hallway for all the running to and fro is utilized to the max, and there's even a goofy montage of our good cop dancing in his long johns while the rest of the crew is in cryosleep. Naturally he has to beat the intruders at their own game with the help of a sassy babe before making off with the loot to rescue his woman, and I can't hate the bad ass fun no matter how nonsensical because everyone seems to be having such a good time.
I Didn't Like This as Much as I Did Then
Class of 1999 – Previously I loved my VHS of this 1990 too cool for school meets The Terminator parable. Unfortunately, the opening monologue recounting the excessive violence in American high schools is immediately awkward, and try hard dialogue, edgy music, leather jackets, and over the top eighties post-apocalyptic designs acerbate the confusing plot and corny punchlines. To curb the rampant lawlessness, Department of Educational Defense principal Malcolm McDowell (Cat People) tasks Stacy Keach's (Mike Hammer) Megatech robot Pam Grier (Jackie Brown) to discipline the reopened inner city school where violent events are said to happen every two hours yet no one steals anybody's unlocked, tricked out rides. These rebel youths responsible for the country's downfall are inexplicably still worried about their school attendance and being on time for class? Any analysis on the corrupt system winning while dead kids fall through the cracks is lost in messy night club riots and teens breaking into the teachers' secret WD-40 stash. The abundance of drugs is merely a plot point, and sexual violence is barely addressed even by the principal when his own daughter is assaulted. The teen murders are uncomfortable and depressing – it's tough to see fictitious violence that isn't as bad as contemporary mass shootings. The teacher droids do what they will, the scientists let it happen, and the ham-fisted gang boys become righteous friends as gym humiliations and our history bot comically spanking the ruffians in front of the assembly lead our students to take matters into their own hands. Rather than being a slick commentary with genre enjoyment, this ends up a heavy handed, contrived, overlong, full on Terminator rip off that's just not fun anymore.
It's A Living Seasons 5 is a Mixed Bag
by Kristin Battestella
By 1987, It's A Living and its Above the Top high rise waitresses are in full syndication swing for Year Five – the series' longest season at twenty-six episodes. Ironically, the second episode “Her Back to the Future” should have been the Season Five premiere, showing how outlandish It's A Living can get with hostess Nancy Beebe (Marion Mercer) dreaming what everything would be like in ten years. Lyle Waggoner (The Carol Burnett Show) guests amid Chippendales, an impeached president Ed Asner, and a few maracas as the waitresses bring down the house. I almost wish It's A Living was always this zany with one plot giving everyone a moment to shine. Even the distorted, dreamy focus, spotlights, jump editing, and music changes provide an extra comedy panache.
Certainly “Sweet Charity” recalls The Golden Girls' “Henny Penny – Straight, No Chaser” as wannabe actress Dot Higgins' (Gail Edwards) children's theater gets sick so our waitresses act out Little Red Riding Hood. Both episodes were written by producer Tom Whedon and half the time is wasted in setting the scene, however this is a rare episode away from the hotel restaurant. Nancy is said to be in her dressing room baying at the moon to prepare playing the big bad wolf, and the costumes, nerves, cardboard stage design, and silly song and dance are so stupid, it's fun when it all goes humorously wrong. By contrast, there's a touch of antagonism and conflicts that would actually happen between coworkers in “Search and Strike” thanks to vengeful miscommunications and invasion of privacy protests when the staff's lockers are searched. When nothing but a cheap tawdry novel is found on naive Amy's (Crystal Bernard) shelf, the waitresses decide to forge a diary from chef Howard (Richard Stahl) for infatuated Nancy to find. Here It's A Living gets right to the point in not making it easy for our ladies. Likewise, “The One About The Tattooed Lady” provides cranky retirees, a funeral party bringing the urn to Above the Top, and Nancy wanting to impress a well to do cousin who it turns out ran away to join the circus. The ladies can't remember the late regular who has left them $5,000, and a lot of nothing is actually happening, but the one night at the restaurant hi-jinks provides lessons, mistaken farce, and twists with It's A Living firing on all cylinders. Dot still thinks being a waitress is temporary after nine years and gets another wannabe actress a job as a dishwasher in “Dot's Hope.” She thinks L.A. will eat up the green newbie, Nancy laughs at Dot's opinions, and Howard thinks a dishwasher is a man's job and overcompensates by being super nice even when Hope makes mistakes. Dot doesn't get the part on a big sitcom but Hope does, and It's A Living posits on the conflict, jealousy, and if being a waitress is the career and it's the dreams that become the hobby on the side.
Unfortunately, It's A Living relies on far too many marriage themed episodes as if there were no other sitcom subjects. Even piano player Sonny Mann (Paul Kreppel) is at the altar in the “Till Death Do Us Part” premiere. No one expects the nuptials to actually happen, and the more mature secondary plot of Howard wearing a toupee to impress his high school girlfriend takes a backseat, setting Year Five off on the wrong tone. Dot realizes her baby clock is ticking in “The Date Show,” but her looking at baby books and making a list of potential fathers is resolved in two scenes. The seriousness of her actually having a pregnancy scare could have been poignant, but once again It's A Living crowds an entry with too many plots that deserved more attention. It's A Living often plays solely for the punchline, and it can be frustrating to watch when so many great events, ideas, and situations are merely said for something to say rather than actually shown. Is It's A Living merely meant to be about that ensemble dialogue producing canned laughter or is it just poor writing that never delves into deeper characterizations? I like the ladies and want to see their ups and downs in and out of the restaurant, but It's A Living gets tiring when the episodes do nothing but talk about things that don't happen. Do I expect too much of the show now compared to the casual catch an episode charm of it then? The performances carry the series, but viewing critically shows how little the ensemble is actually given to do, and Season Five lags mid-season with nonstarter stories, and entwined A and B plots over-reliant on too many visiting relatives come too many episodes in a row late in the season. Sonny shooting a music video overtakes Ginger's visiting Nana in “Ginger's Grandmother Show,” so we don't see the three's a crowd scenarios with Ginger telling her she can't drive and roommate Amy bonding with Nana. The music video itself is also embarrassing and not what I had in mind when I asked for It's A Living to embrace it's song and dance opportunities. Why couldn't a real guest musician rent Above the Top for a shoot? Campaign volunteer Ginger is caught by the newspaper on the lap of a politician but Sonny ditching a one night stand is the priority of “Ginger and the Senator.” Although the resulting conflict between all four ladies is great, everything is resolved because time is up, and a few episodes focusing mostly on one plot without shoehorned in Sonny moments are a marked difference. Dot singing on an adopt-a-pet telethon also waits while Sonny uses saving a choking patron to score in “Healings, Nothing More Than Healings,” but her rehearsal beside the piano shames Sonny and even impresses Nancy. It's A Living seems okay with never letting characters progress, preferring to be syndication ready with no need to see anything before to tune in, and the penultimate filler clip show “The Waiting Game” provides uneven musical highlights for some and mere quips for others. The framing device of a journalist interviewing the waitress about the pros and cons of the job could have been very interesting, for none of the ladies think of waitressing as their primary career. It's A Living has no clips to show when the interviewer asks the women if living together and working together is a conflict or reinforces their relationships, and the staff losing their hotel parking privileges in the season finale is played for stereotypes rather than labor commentary. They protest the problems women face with street parking in the wee hours, but managements puts a television in the lounge as compensation – because the point of the episode is the ladies becoming obsessed with the latest juicy miniseries, not anybody standing up for themselves.
Top billed Barrie Youngfellow's Jan Hoffmeyer Gray has spent five years in law school but quotes legalese she said she heard on Simon & Simon and now knits in the lounge instead of studying. We never see her home life, but Jan supposedly tells her husband Richie about what happens at work and they laugh about it when not arguing over the double standard between her daughter not being allowed to see Madonna while his son is free to go to The Beastie Boys concert. Jan takes piano lessons with her step son, wanting to bond with him and teach him some culture and disciple, yet It's A Living doesn't think that is an important enough plot to show. Her daughter Ellen is now fourteen and dating an older boy in “No, My Darling Daughter,” but again it's all more told rather than seen and mostly about everyone except Jan. She talks about writing up a will with Richie, and Richard Kline actually appears in “Take Back Your Mink,” coming into a big project and splurging on the titular frock for Jan. The girls fawn over it in great ensemble moments properly interwoven not crowding each other, for It's A Living is best when focusing on its down on their luck waitresses and their economic dilemmas. Richie's project falls through amid a hotel blood drive gone awry, and Jan must figure out where they can cut costs – including returning the coat. It's A Living doesn't forget Jan's dad dated Dot's mom when he visits again in “Daddy's Little Girl,” but Jan invites her mom Georgann Johnson (Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman) to dine with dad, who has actually married again to a younger woman. The awkward, passive aggressive zingers and family surprises earn most of the episode's focus, and even Jan faints. Dot suggests Jan wear a wig to spice up her marriage in “Tune In, Tune Out,” but Jan's upset, even jealous of herself when Richie prefers the wig. The delicious relationship dilemma is crammed into an episode also featuring a labor dispute when both deserved their own slots, not to mention it's all odd because Richie calls Jan 'Red' and this episode is strangely placed as the finale after It's A Living's requisite clip show. Nancy Beebe confides in Jan and almost considers her a friend but refuses to hug her. Marian Mercer's severe hostess kisses up to a hotel stockholder's daughter for her wedding, and the waitresses are suspicious when Nancy is nice. She freely lends Richard Stahl's chef Howard the $900 he owes the loan shark, but of course, the money is said to be under her pillow. Howard has three talents – cooking, magic, and bowling – but he doesn't want Nancy to change him and admits he feels smothered by her advances. Nancy tells Howard he can knock on her door, and their relationship finally matures from sexual harassment to a mutual goodnight kiss. The next day regrets and workplace awkwardness could have continued for multiple episodes as they agree to continue dating, however out of order production and erroneous episode airings play up, reset, or erase their romance. He's not ready to commit and dates others, but guest singer Jack Jones commands the restaurant crowd, puts Sonny to shame, and whisks Nancy to Vegas in “The Vegas Show” two-parter. This probably didn't need to be an hour, yet multiple storylines are fulfilled regarding maneater double standards and mid-life fears, making the case that ongoing arc stories would have better served It's A Living, but that was never going to happen in 1987. Howard flies to Vegas to defend Nancy's honor and asks her to marry him in an excellent moment that ends up rushed alongside other plots before a five minute wedding with an Elvis impersonator. A few scenes per episode in the kitchen provide hear tell of a $465 checkbook mistake because Howard is still renting his old apartment, but their marriage is said to be a balancing act with Nancy going to his Chuck Norris marathon and Howard telling her to behave while at Above the Top.
Crystal Bernard's virginal Amy Tompkins wants five kids and a dog with the white picket fence, but she's shocked when researching her family tree reveals her grandmother was a madam. It's more an aside than a major plot, and It's A Living keeps the character naive with pink bows and denim ruffles like one of the orphans on Jem. Customers roll their eyes at her Snyder, Texas a la St. Olaf stories, and Amy gets obsessed with a food processor until Ginger destroys it but sadly, we don't get to see any of their roommate struggles. The girls have nice heart to hearts about fears and rehabilitation when Amy's prison pen pal visits in “A Pen Pal for Your Thoughts,” however he's not handsome as written, just an old man who uses Amy to rob a liquor store off screen. Too many plots are unnecessarily squashed together while Bernard goes underutilized amid the preposterous pairing of Amy and Sonny's sleazy friend Louie in “The Amy and Louie Show.” Not only do we not get to see Howard buying a boxer (just like on The Golden Girls) and Nancy getting into the gym scene, Amy's awkward bowling date is ultimately about Sonny making Louie choose between them. Most of Gail Edwards' Dot Higgins' acting shenanigans are likewise off screen or a phone call rejection from her latest audition. She wants to be a star but can't afford a new $30,000 car unless she sleeps in it. Dot says she enjoys suppressing her personality to create another character and tries wearing a blonde wig – afterthoughts in the restaurant lounge when we should have seen an episode revolving around her dieting to the extreme for an anorexic role. Dot begins to feel grotesque at serving all the food she can't eat, but it's all a subplot resolved in a few scenes. When Dot lands a soap opera role in “The Killing of Sister Dot,” the episode is largely about Amy and Ginger arguing over planning a party and Howard's nomination for a chef award. Coming after several one plot episodes, this entry proves how the ABC plotting does not work for It's A Living. Dot's playing a nun killed in a tabernacle explosion before also playing her evil twin, but it's all talk rather than us laughing at the show within a shown. It's delightful when the girls play dress up and rehearse in the lounge, and this ludicrous soap could have been a great ongoing in joke. Likewise, “Strictly Personal” is about everything but Dot's posting in the personals column. She chooses against a millionaire with a yacht and instead ends up with the boy who runs Pecos Pete's Chow Wagon on The Golden Girls. Dot does get a decent newspaper boyfriend in “Everyone's a Critic,” but he has to review her new play when we, of course, don't get to see how enthusiastically bad her performance was.
Confident Sheryl Lee Ralph as Ginger St. James intends to run her own fashion business with style and efficiency and enjoys getting back at Nancy. Her steady Jason names his boat after her but she's too stylish to get wet and we don't get to see their sailing mishaps anyway. I'd like to have seen her waiting tables go awry when she gets some crazy sculpted nails and can't open her locker with them, but alas, most of Ginger's excitement is again off camera. She dresses up Amy and is unusually fearful when meeting Jason's parents – until they are glad to see her after roommate Amy is the one to answer the door. It's disappointing It's A Living doesn't maximize Ralph or the character; we don't even find out her name is actually Virginia until late in Year Five. Of course, Ginger rejects Jason's pushy proposal in “The No Guys Show,” but It's A Living forgot that her not being ready to get married also happened near the end of Season Four. Amy gossips to the other girls about Ginger and Jason's ups and downs, cheaply creating backhanded developments we never saw when Phil Morris' (Seinfeld) Jason should have been a recurring character. Instead, we see Ginger dumping him on the phone in the lounge before she calls to take him up again, and it's all a stagnant, unfair nothing burger despite most of the episode focusing on this story – an engagement that's also strung along through most of Season Six. Unfortunately, Paul Kreppel's piano gags as Sonny Mann also waste precious time It's A Living did not have. He butchers the national anthem, scabs when his union goes on strike, and is angry when a fat girl he expects to be easy isn't. Sonny takes an art class for the nude models and wants the girls to sign up so he can finger paint, and he's surprised when his sex book gets rejected by the publisher for his suggestion that a man should start a date with beer and knock out drops. WTF. Sonny thinks sleeping with Amy would make him feel better because his mother berates him in “The Sonny's Mother Show.” She's right that when he acts like a man, he will be treated like one, but rather than any lessons learned, we instead get a Sonny as a kid flashback featuring Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell). When a women's feminist group comes to Above the Top in “Twelve Angry Women,” Sonny deserves every insult they give him for his touch feely and inappropriate songs. They point out how the girls are overworked and underpaid and harassed in their uniforms, but this episode is about Sonny instead. It was enough to stall my re-watch mid-season, and just once I wish there was an episode without Sonny. I don't remember if he was so popular back then, but his antics are insufferable now and I can't fathom why so many plots revolve around him while the waitresses remain largely unexplored.
The swinging theme tune and ritzy opening credits once again set the It's A Living mood even if some episodes are too short at under twenty-one minutes with credits. The black and burgundy uniforms are classy now, but the teased hair in big banana clips rise to the height of eighties deliciousness amid colorful ruffles and high-waisted acid wash jeans. The wedding gowns, however, are hideous, and poor Nancy wears terrible draped gowns with baggy shirts, dropped waists, and giant belts. Late in the season she wears a green ensemble that looks more 1890s than 1980s, but the exaggerate sleeves and ruffled train are actually the best she's worn. The menswear bow tie frocks unfortunately look like cast offs from Dorothy Zbornak's closet. It's A Living borrows incidental music from The Golden Girls as well – they go to the same reused chapel set, and there are so many guests from The Golden Girls making appearances on It's A Living it's almost comical. Honestly, if you are a massive fan of The Golden Girls, it becomes almost impossible to separate re-watching the lesser seen It's A Living from it's beloved sister production. Currently, It's A Living finally has multiple seasons available on several FAST platforms. However, some of the episodes seem mislabeled or out of order, and either by oversight or a deliberate pull, the Season Five episode “Skin Deep” is not available. I started reviewing this series with a full length, episodic focus because I wanted to bring attention to a forgotten show I enjoyed. However, Year Five felt like a chore with few stand out episodes because the production's goal seems to be going through motions for syndication ease while yes of course The Golden Girls received all the attention. It's A Living had the potential to be as great – if their own writers would have paid attention to the ensemble storytelling.
Fearful Examinations!
by Kristin Battestella
This trio of retro psychological frights need not rely on today's special effects whooshes and in your face designs thanks to focused fears and chilling performances.
Dark Places – Deathbed vows and asylum doctors begat a creepy inherited estate and injuries at the manor in this 1973 haunt. Boarded windows, antique clutter, shabby interiors, and cobwebs add to supposed ghosts, figures in the window, slamming doors, and creaking footsteps. The power of suggest is strong, for suitcases full of cash are allegedly hidden in this house with a murderous past, and doctor Christopher Lee (Horror of Dracula) doesn't want anyone else to beat him to the punch. His alluring sister Joan Collins (Dynasty) offers to be the housekeeper for new heir Robert Hardy (All Creatures Great and Small), too, despite crank calls, broken dolls, falling pictures, and village talk of the bodies never being found. The playroom is layered with thick dust and violent shambles, and the lights going off for total darkness onscreen is simple yet effective. Rather than attempting to pull the wool over the audience, our rivals admit upfront that they are using the disturbing history to scare our new tenant away from the lost loot. However even they get scared by the objects they aren't moving and the bumps in the night they didn't cause – making for a tense little housewarming party with brandy, cigarettes, and stiff upper lip deceptions. Edward shouts at the giggling children's echoes that this is his house now, but his motive is also not pure as he spends the spooky nights knocking on wall panels in search of the missing money. Violent drywall bashing leads to bats sweeping in from the chimney in a well-filmed frenzy while choice zooms accent brief what you thought you saw shocks. Rather than superfluous scares wasting half the movie, the small cast and several key rooms anchor the tension and claustrophobia. Flashbacks to the domineering deceased and his vows to punish his children for their twisted games provide questions on psychic sensitivity, mental instability, possession, or delusion. Pointing fingers distrust, contesting wills, and suggestive siblings collide with ghostly footprints, a supple governess, and a nonchalant pick ax. The visions and supernatural influences even continue outside the house with echoes and slow motion, and we only see the evil children's demented smiles in the finale as the delirium, arguments, anguish, and consequences escalate. Past and present dalliances collide with gunshots, screams, and strangulation. Although I wish there was more of meddling Doctor Lee claiming he is there to help the distressed and the mystery is fairly straightforward for well versed viewers, the deranged performances make for a taut edge. This doesn't go all out with the extremes like today, yet a little lust and plenty of greed go to the scary depths thanks to intimate violence, assorted weapons, and skeleton surprises.
Fright – Miniskirts, Winnebagos, eerie ballads, and a spooky walk through the woods lead perky babysitter Susan George (Straw Dogs) to her charge in this 1971 examination. Nervous new in town mother Honor Blackman (Goldfinger) bolts all the doors, and through the banister or crib rails camera angles and mirrored framing invoke the cluttered, claustrophobic, trapped feeling. The antique laden manor, stained glass, and winding staircase add period mood, and our family admits the home is creepy and musty, joking about the potential for ghosts and subtly setting the jumpy scene. Creaking doors, rattling plumbing, and parental asides wondering if our sitter suspects anything don't bother Amanda – she is learning child welfare psychology and isn't afraid to observe maladjusted case studies. Unfortunately for her, the dripping tap, unexplained noises, hanging laundry, and innocuous boredom escalate to power outages, footsteps, and faces at the window. Up close attention on her eyes and ears reflect her isolation as the baby is put to bed and her horny boyfriend comes calling. He thinks the manse could be the setting for a horror movie, but Amanda doesn't want him to scare her into his arms. Their flirtatious dialogue layers the mirror to nature parallels, for his scaring her is a result of his sexual frustration, which he says is her fault, but Amanda counters that such obsession is not love. The men further belittle the worried women – who are actually correct not irrational or panicking due to the murderous escapee knocking on the door. Screams and gore outside go unheard thanks to the scary movie on the television, and the black and white zombies contrast the colorful, swanky parents night out as the the killer is inadvertently let in and the phone lines are cut. The simmering peril is well paced with tense conversations, car accidents, and police wasting time while the terrorized babysitter is left to placate the psychotic. Ticking clocks, wanting to check in on the baby MacGuffins, and precious few locations within the house create suspense as intercut spins show the white lace, crying, innocent reality versus the dancing, willing woman delusion. Carnival style music mirrors his juvenile, lusty mental state before silence save for her hurried breathing and punctuating screams. Sirens, police standoffs, loudspeakers, and tear gas come too late while our culprit growls, descending into nonsensical shouts and crying like a child. Now the understandably hysterical women must take action against the violent insanity, and the uncomfortable to watch terror makes one wonder how they filmed such anguish. Although there have certainly been numerous babysitter in peril films since, this remains chilling thanks to the horror we don't see suggestions rather than today's everything at the screen, hollow superfluous.
Foreign Horror Bonus
Black Pit of Dr. M – Originally titled Misterios de Ultratumba, this 1959 black and white Mexican picture from director Fernando Mendez (El Vampiro) featuring Abel Salazar (The Witch's Mirror) has no English dub nor subtitles and my Spanish thinking cap is not what it used to be. The lookalike mad scientists, back from the dead doctors, afterlife secrets, seances, and zombies, however, probably don't make much sense even in the best linguistic circumstances! Fortunately, the cobwebs, abandoned gothic abodes, eerie period interiors, and atmospheric crescendos are everything I love about mid-century Mexican Horror Movies. Of course, I've no idea what the violent woman in the madhouse has to do with the doctor's demure daughter; but the coffins, torches, sinister mustaches, and disappearing men in capes match the primitive yet fittingly spooky smoke and mirrors special effects. Excellent gaslight, lanterns, and shadows provide cinematic depth as creepy scenes steeped in catolica mood and forbidden knowledge escalate to violent action, acid in the face, bandages, revolting reflections, gross disfigurements, and screams. Daylight moments at the churchyard remain draped in suspicion while inside out hacienda greenery and foggy courtyard designs capture the moonlit romance and urgente warning notes blown away in the spooky winds. Wispy visions of dancing ladies, white flowers, black veils, and the invisible hand pulling the patron saint from the ingenue's neck invoke effective light versus dark subversiveness. The doors between life and death should remain closed, but lighting over the gallows, hands reaching out from the grave, devilish violins, and turnabout knives let evil enter in with abductions and fiery fates. A three months later gap and short eighty minute runtime make one wonder if something isn't actually missing that would help this nonsensical story, and the lack of translation these days remains surprising. Nonetheless, the gothic tension, silver screen dimension, and midnight movie macabre deliciously prove that horror consequences are universal.