Horror in July, Anyone?

Horror in July Fun!

By Kristin Battestella

Stay indoors in the air conditioning and let the witchy good mayhem, scary old schools, and assorted beasties put more chills up your spine!

Delectables

Burnt Offerings – For only $900, Karen Black (Five Easy Pieces, The Day of the Locust), Oliver Reed (Oliver!, Gladiator), and their aunt Bette Davis (Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte, All About Eve) rent a spooky California mansion for the entire summer from kooky Burgess Meredith (Rocky, Grumpy Old Men) and his sister Eileen Heckart (Butterflies Are Free). You know this is too good to be true! Director Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) takes his time with Robert Marasco’s source novel, developing the happy characters in the first half hour then building the mystery and haunted house disturbia towards the sinister changes to come. Although the 1976 design is quite dated- ascots, station wagons- the period flair is now cool and backwater scary style.  The Dunsmuir House filming location is so, so sweet, too- and oh, that chauffeur!  Yes, it’s merely PG and has obvious similarities to Phantasm, but there are still plenty of scares, innuendo, and twists to delight here. 

Don’t Look Now – Donald Sutherland (MASH) and Julie Christie (Doctor Zhivago) star as a grieving couple in this 1973 creepy based on a story by Daphne du Maurier (Rebecca) and directed by Nicholas Roeg (The Witches). Though it looks older than it is thanks to the fashions and hair, the grainy filming and jumping intercuts work the chills nicely in tandem with intimate and personal photography adding character depth and loss. There’s lots of symbolic water, red, and religion as well; but the visual layers and intelligence stand out amid the natural locations and seventies browns.   Those Venice locales are pure sweetness, too.   However, the lack of Italian subtitles and slow pacing in getting to the big finish might make a few things confusing to some.  Of course, the nudity is tame for today’s audiences, but the infamous sex scene may still be a little too spicy- as in ‘how many different Kama Sutra positions can we get in here’ spicy. Yet, the scene has purpose for the characters- not just the T-n-A of today’s horror.  In fact, modern pointless slice and dice can learn a thing or two from the complexity here.

In the Mouth Of Madness – John Carpenter’s (Halloween, The Thing) 1995 film about a horror writer in a disturbed small town boasts a fine cast including Sam Neill (The Tudors, Jurassic Park), Charlton Heston (Ben-Hur, Planet of the Apes), Jurgen Prochnow (Dune), John Glover (Smallville), and David Warner (The Omen). Yes, it’s easy to assume this is another foul things afoot in the sleepy hamlet ala Stephen King, but there’s much more psychology and mind versus reality here. The music is very dated heavy metal, the visual design looks more bad eighties than mid nineties, and things are slow and confusing to start.  But these twisted bizarrities are kind of the point.  What is fiction and what is real? Are dreams blending with reality or vice versa? The scares, gore, and performances are all juicy, and build nice and twistedly to the conclusion.

Split Decisions

Let Me In – There’s a lot this 2010 remake gets right- the abstract parental photography, disturbing performances, bully storytelling, and creepy mystery.  It’s focused scenes with Chloe Moretz (Kick Ass) and Kodi Smit-McPhee (The Road) are genuine and well played.  However, director Matt Reeves (Cloverfield) should have stayed with this unique or what we don’t see youth examination instead of breaking away for over the top deaths and action.  Though my niece says the book is very different, this film version seems overlong and too mature for its audience.  Do 12 year olds really comprehend all this sex and blood? Yet, this is not for adults and seems too of its age.  Where did we get this juvenile horror trend and premature exposure to predators and prey? Cursing, killing, eighties sounds and styles- it all seems absurd for today’s pre-teen. This film is not a ‘vampire romance.’  The players seem advantageous, cruel, manipulative. Does Abby periodically make new 12-year-old friends so they grow old and remain indebted to her? Are we to feel sorry for an old vampire in a child body who likes little boys? Is this supposed to be about innocence and bullying or maturity and vampire souls? The unanswered questions and youth fluff over the adult substance undoes the good for me here.

Practical Magic – This 1998 chick fest ala Charmed or Sabrina the Teenage Witch starring Oscar winners Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side) , Nicole Kidman (The Hours) , Dianne Wiest (Hannah and Her Sisters) and Emmy winner Stockard Channing (The West Wing) is a little hokey and uneven in its whimsy and darkness.  Is it a cute magic romance or a cautionary tale on the misuse of witchcraft? There’s plenty of stereotypical heavy love and light witchy ways, but director Griffin Dunne (The Accidental Husband) never gets as real or scary as I might have liked.  Viewers looking for such can also find some latent lesbian undertones, too. Which is it all supposed to be? Nevertheless, the fine performances and magical fun in several charming scenes keep this one a toe on the watchable side I think. Fans of the cast can enjoy and mystical ladies of all ages can have a night in here. The chicky soundtrack, however, has got to go! 

Session 9 – Director Brad Anderson (The Machinist) wonderfully executes this taut psychological thriller and smartly tells his 2001 tale in the gloriously eerie Danvers State Hospital for premium naturally spooky effects.  Both Peter Mullan (Red Riding) and David Caruso (CSI: Miami) are on form, keeping the viewer intelligently guessing as to all the mystery and paranoia right up to the end.  Unfortunately, everything falls apart for the finale. There are so many suspenseful and horrific possibilities, and any one of them was possible here. Yet none actually happens in this disappointing end.   For all the smarts and interesting strides made beforehand, Anderson and co-writer Stephen Gevedon (Oz) leave you scratching your head at the unexplained conclusion.  Claiming the deleted scenes on the DVD resolve everything doesn’t help, either. 

Skippers

Blood of the Vampire/The Hellfire Club – I know I often cite the charm and charisma of some of these hokey old B horror pictures, but some are just downright bad.  The double billed fun here- with old time drive in slides and concession commercials before, during, and after the features-was very nostalgic, even the highlight.  Blood of the Vampire’s formulaic Victorian Transylvania looks the part, but seriously bad make-up, stilted plotting, and ill acting can’t save the mad scientist hysteria here. With no featured, dynamic horror stars, it’s really tough to care about the would be mayhem turning hokey. Likewise, lovely outdoor locations, sweet costumes, and heady décor can’t carry The Hellfire Club.  An all too brief appearance by Peter Cushing and swift cavalier action with swords and horses can’t overcome the simple fact that there really isn’t any sex and fears here as the title suggests.  Actually, these two films have nothing in common and I have no idea why they were put together.

Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) – I confess, I didn’t make it halfway thru this remake of the 1984 Freddy Kruger classic from music video director Samuel Bayer (the guy who helmed ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit,’ folks!).  The dream sequences and deaths are absolutely unimaginative; the supposedly special crutch here was the decision to make Jackie Earle Haley’s (Watchmen) uninspired Freddy an all out pedophile.  Horrible as it is to say, this was also not as disturbing as it should have been.  Yes, some of the sequels made Kruger a little too funny and tongue in cheek.  But he was kinky enough, nastily licking the chicks and zipping out dirty one liners. He’s the son of a hundred maniacs, if that doesn’t suggest something nefarious I don’t know what does.  New Nightmare blended the mix of real and refresh far more wonderfully, and I really, really hope this means these damn Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes remake folks are going to finally let these great horror franchises lie.

  

Christoper Lee Mayhem

Christopher Lee Fun and Mayhem

By Kristin Battestella

In my recent streak of Vincent Price love, I feel I’ve somewhat neglected my other great titan of horror cinema: the undeniable Christopher Lee.  With hundreds of films to his credit and continued appearances in great franchises like Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings, it would be near impossible to make a list of total Lee satisfactions.  Nevertheless, here is a brief list of creepy Christopher delights- with some Price and Peter Cushing tossed in for spooky good measure.

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) – Director Terence Fisher (Sword of Sherwood Forest, not to mention 4 Frankenstein sequels) puts the Hammer spin on this Mary Shelley classic with more frame and focus on Peter Cushing’s mad scientist Baron Victor von Frankenstein than his monster creation Christopher Lee.  Robert Urquhart (Knights of the Round Table) is delightful as the tragic voice of reason, and Hazel Court (The Masque of the Red Death) adds the proper feminine screams, too.  Although the colorful Victorian style is typical and the old time science is downright phooey, the creepy tone, kinky undercurrent, and sinister plots build wonderfully. Even knowing how this tale plays out, there are still plenty of scares, suspense, and unethical monstrosities to be had here.

Horror of Dracula – Well, well. Director Terence Fisher is here again for the one that started it all!  Even with little dialogue, Lee is tall and imposing, his stature and glare deadly and delightful.  Appearing a half hour into the film, top billed Peter Cushing as Van Helsing is also simply badass. There are unique changes to the tale from Hammer writer Jimmy Sangster (Horror of Frankenstein) of course, with library scholar Harker engaged to Lucy and more character switcharoos. Dracula is also decidedly styled as an English gentleman yet the story never leaves Central Europe.  This also doesn’t look 1958 as we expect from the Leave It to Beaver types.  Yes, it’s bright and colorfully filmed in the style of the time, but this Dracula is dark, gothic, and feels earnest, passionate, deadly.  There’s something so nasty about the way Lucy opens the door, removes her cross, lays out, and unbuttons the nightgown!  All the staples- stakes, garlic, candles, coffins- are here; everything we expect a proper vampire tale to be twists together with great deception and scares.  Hot damn!

House of the Long Shadows – It’s Christopher Lee, Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, and John Carradine all in one movie! Couldn’t a classic horror fan just die with glee? With a cast like that, you almost don’t need a solid plot. Wow. Nonetheless, director Pete Walker (Die Screaming Marianne, Frightmare) gives the audience a juicy and spooky tale of a cocky writer (Desi Arnaz, Jr.) holed up in a spooky Welsh Mansion on a stormy night with these secretive horror heavyweights, a clickity typewriter, and lots of candles. The music, atmosphere, and isolation here are everything a haunted house movie should be- even with the surprising ending. Though dated, low budget, and a little too dark in some scenes, there are enough scares and twists to be had here, indeed. Unfortunately, this 1983 treat is not available on DVD- what cruel trickery is that?

The House That Dripped Blood – This 1970 anthology boasting Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Jon Pertwee (Doctor Who), Denholm Elliot (Indiana Jones) and Ingrid Pitt (The Vampire Lovers, Countess Dracula) offers four framed tales of witchcraft, murder, macabre, and vampires.  Looking fittingly old, gothic, and atmospheric, the storytelling is also spooky and spot on with intelligent deraignment, timed scares, and finely disturbed performances.  Even with a few plot holes expected in tying an anthology together, director Peter Duffell (King of the Wind) and writer Robert Bloch (Psycho, Asylum) keep the tales taunt, intense, and damn, downright frightening to even an advanced horror viewer such as myself. 

The Man Who Could Cheat Death – This 1959 Parisian bizarrity from frequent Hammer helmer Terence Fisher stars Anton Diffring (Where Eagles Dare, Fahrenheit 451) as a wonderfully subdued but no less maniacal sculptor with an unnaturally prolonged life.  Hazel Court is again the juicy object of affections as always, and Our Man Christopher looks the Parisian suave and debonair good doctor. The mix of accents might be tough for contemporary untrained ears, but the European flair adds a nice authenticity and upscale feeling along with the lavish- if small- sets. Yes, the effects are cheap- amounting to shadow makeup and green lighting for the most part, and something that, well, looks like mud. Big whoop.  Even so, Diffring’s perfectly brewing performance and Lee’s surprising antithesis to the sinister carry the creepy across just fine. Who knew?

The Prince and the Showgirl

The Prince and the Showgirl Uneven, but Charming

By Kristin Battestella

Screen goddess Marilyn Monroe and thee acting connoisseur Laurence Olivier unite in this fun 1957 mismatched romance.  Though ill paced in some parts, the charm wins out here.

Chorus girl Elsie Marina (Monroe) meets the Prince Regent of Carpathia (Olivier) while he, his son Nicholas (Jeremy Spenser), and his mother-in-law the Dowager Queen (Dame Sybil Thorndike, The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby) are being entertained in London by British official Northbrook (Richard Wattis, The Belles of St. Trinian’s) ahead of the coronation of George V.  When invited to the embassy by the Prince, Elsie is at first reluctant, then irritated by the political interruptions.  She expects to be better wooed, but the Dowager Queen takes an interest in Elsie and makes her a lady-in-waiting, extending Elsie’s stay at the embassy.  As the Prince warms to her, Elsie inadvertently becomes involved in European politics and royal affairs.  Will the budding romance survive royal plots and obligations?   

Director and star Laurence Olivier (Fire Over England, Rebecca, Hamlet, Wuthering Heights, I’ll stop) sets the 1911 pre-war London scene well with lots of royalty and politics.  Some of the protocol can seem confusing to a contemporary viewer, and the style is a little too stuffy and RP with some anti American bits.  However, there’s also a seemingly mocking tone or tongue in cheek to it all from writer Terence Rattigan (Separate Tables).  Oh, these snotty old aristocrats and the flakey aides hysterically trying to please them!  The Prince and the Showgirl captures the mood of the time and is still able to laugh at itself. Unfortunately, the mix of lighthearted love and dangerous political plots makes it seem as if Olivier is peddling two separate movies.  The battle of wits between the two leads- which you could perceive as the king of real acting and the queen of pretty going head to head- is a lot of fun.  She rejects his passes, and then expects better romance on his part.  He charms, he shouts.  Could it be love? The unique romantic comedy takes place largely in one stage like room- thanks to Rattigan’s source play The Sleeping Prince.  The focus on the people with the pomp and circumstance outside merely hinted at is refreshing in opposition to all those modern Meg Ryan love in the big city repeats.  The Prince and The Showgirl dries up when Olivier switches to a political triangle instead of these bemusing cat and mouse games.  When turning to European intrigue and plots, the tale seems longer than needed at a full 2 hours, dragging in the middle when things should have gotten juicier.  It’s uneven yes, and perhaps misguided in the end, but overall, the stars shine and keep The Prince and the Showgirl entertaining.

Though she has proven she can do more, Marilyn Monroe (Some Like It Hot, Gentleman Prefer Blonds) is once again the dimwitted blonde who catches the eye of the Grand Ducal Prince backstage just because her dress strap rips.  It’s a bit of a thankless start, but Elsie’s catching on and teaching the royals a thing or two is a lot of fun.  Monroe’s physical comedy and runaround timing works onscreen-making silent and seemingly insignificant scenes fresh, lively, even slapstick.  Elsie’s attempts to get the right titles and dialogue are wonderfully squashed with an ‘Oh, the hell with it!’  Monroe also sneaks in a few great zingers- total insults delivered with such marshmallow that you can’t help but like Elsie.  Her great curves and soft focus stylings on the up close shots are noticeable, yes, but Monroe still looks lovely despite not being at her best again thanks to off screen illness and pregnancy troubles.  Elsie’s drunken giggles also make us think its just Marilyn being herself, but again the comedy timing and played up wit wins out. I am, however, not sure why a somewhat out of place song is needed.  Fans who like Monroe’s musical ways may be surprised by the turn of the century arrangement here. Of course, the entire premise of The Prince and the Showgirl is all-preposterous- a chorus girl meddling in European affairs and preventing war! But really, what tickles me most is how Elsie hobnobs with royalty while wearing the same dress for 3 days!

Surprisingly, I am not a major fan of Olivier, England’s favorite thespian maestro.  From what I’ve seen, he always seems to be the same stuffy guy.  Early on in The Prince and the Showgirl, he’s even a bit of an ass. Fortunately, the snotty serves a purpose here.  The Ducal Prince must always be on form, always wearing the façade; he’s doing the protocol and going through the motions with a trumped up accent to seal the deal.  After meeting this guy, I much prefer Larry’s mysterious Brit millionaire Max in Rebecca!  We expect Elsie to be taken advantage of in this situation because we are used to politicians like this getting down and nasty with the babes. Though at the time it might have been accepted for such a dignitary to have an evening with a lady who understood to be gone in the morning, today we think of it as just horny old dude on the lamb relentlessly looking for a piece. All that and nevertheless The Prince and the Showgirl is bemusing, a Pretty Woman fifties-style with such an innocence to its implications. The Prince Regent and his son Jeremy Spenser (King & Country) shed their rigid ways; Olivier loosens up and eventually gets rid of that proverbial stiff upper lip.  Today’s movies would have Elsie scandalously banging both the Regent and the sneaky teenager king in waiting- yowzha!  

Okay, so the silly and fake London screen shots are obvious and on the cheap, but some of that old production of the time has its delights.  The embassy set design is appropriately grand and lavishly styled with lots of gold and velvet and sweet staircases.  And let’s not forget my favorite: candlestick phones, people!   Maybe it isn’t on the scale of today’s standards, but the décor befits a title like The Prince and the Showgirl. The costumes are perfection- fun feathered hats, parasols, gowns high and low, colorful fabrics and over the top gaudy blue eye shadow to match.  There are great men’s top hats and going to the opera styles, too. The monocle is a little typical, but fun nostalgia just the same.  Nobody today has probably ever really seen one, yet it is just the right Old World touch here.  Monroe’s aforementioned white dress and overall look is, however, seemingly 1911 by way of 1957, looking a little more of the time than the time really portrayed.  Olivier’s blue uniform and red sash also look just like the Duke in Disney’s Cinderella!  Though lovely and again fittingly majestic, the coronation scene is way too slow and marks the low point of The Prince and the Showgirl, inviting politics in to try and overshadow the charm of the leads. Is that its point in the larger scheme of the film?

Fans of Olivier, Monroe, or pre-war Europe onscreen will certainly enjoy The Prince and the Showgirl, though audiences new to the cast, the fifties colloquialisms, or the turn of the century protocol onscreen might find some things tough to understand.  Even some of the fifties kitschy humor and tone might be lost to younger viewers of classic films, though the picture is certainly lighthearted and family friendly. It isn’t perfect, but classic connoisseurs and fans of pomp, circumstance, and opposites attract fun will enjoy The Prince and the Showgirl.

The Art of I Think, Therefore I Review!

Well, well, my little Thinkers!  THANK YOU for helping I Think, Therefore I Review reach 50,000 hits!  Small in the grand scheme of things, I know- but it’s the little things that count.  In celebration of your support on our mini achievement, we’re presenting The Art of the Review!

As part of the June Blog Workshop hosted by my FATE and FANGS: Tales from The Vampire Family publisher Muse It Up (plug, hee) I spent the day Friday June 17 sharing how any and all prospective writers, budding critics, those new to non fiction or the persuasive essay enthusiast can analyze films, books, music, and television.  Who knew?

  

Who wants to get schooled in critical essay and reviewing technique?!  In today's instant age of quips and quickie three sentence reviews on books, film, television, and music- writing a persuasive essay can seem so impersonal. The muck of thousands of blogs, journals, and social media sites that seem to merely concur, tweet, or link to someone else's critiques can seem so daunting, even overwhelming to the would be reviewer with something intelligent to say.  Will my voice be heard? Does my opinion count? YES! You- yes you!- CAN write a full length critique detailing the pros and cons of your subject in a concise, intelligent manner.  Don't think you have the time, even to write about a medium you love like books, movies, or music? Nonsense!  Afraid fiction and non-fiction work can't go together? Forgetaboutit! We're going to talk about using the basics of essay writing to analyze character, style, design, format, voice, and more.  Let's put the quick fun back into reviewing, write concise opinions, and have your critical voice heard!

The Art of the Review: Welcome

http://museituppublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/art-of-review-welcome.html

The Art of the Review: Introduce Personality

http://museituppublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/art-of-review-introduce-personality.html

The Art of the Review: The Meat of It

http://museituppublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/art-of-reviewing-meat-of-it.html

The Art of the Review: Conclude Smartly

http://museituppublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/art-of-review-conclude-smartly.html

Do feel free to continue to comment and enjoy the tips and tricks being shared at the rest of the Muse It Up Blog Workshops.  Ask questions at the posts proper or drop a line here.  And again THANK YOU for taking part in the intellectual conversations and thought-provoking criticisms at I Think, Therefore I Review!

Don Juan DeMarco

Don Juan DeMarco Charming and Witty Fun

By Kristin Battestella

Seriously, I think Netflix only has one copy of certain films, and they seem to be all the ones in my queue.  Fittingly, I held onto the 1995 sappy Johnny Depp comedy Don Juan DeMarco for an entire week just to soften the blow of what felt like a two year wait.

Despite bedding thousands of women-1,503 to be exact- 21 year old Don Juan DeMarco (Depp) has been rejected by his one true love and wishes to end his life honorably.  He goes to the top of a New York building where psychiatrist Jack Mickler (Marlon Brando) talks Don Juan down.  Now that he is on a 10-day psychiatric hold, the debonair Don Juan must prove to Jack that he is not delusional over a masked centerfold and a reading of Lord Byron’s tale before the institution’s higher ups insist upon medicating him into monotony.  Even considering the absurd account of Don Juan’s tale, Jack warms to this last patient before retirement and is inspired to liven up his contented marriage.  Mrs. Mickler (Faye Dunaway), however, asks her husband one critical question- who is Don Juan really?

Humorous themes of unexpected dreams and romance aren’t the typical subject matter from producer Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather); but this wry comedy written and directed Jeremy Leven (The Notebook) has plenty of mature debates on age, love, state of mind, and well, whimsy. This is not an outright comedy like the slapstick or gross out we expect today, but it is not so overly romantic to drive away folks like me who usually can’t take a rom com. There’s enough depth here beyond the Zorro jokes and possible drool- but with material such as this, one can’t get too heavy a la Good Will Hunting, either. Don Juan DeMarco finds a smart balance by being able to laugh at itself with fun dialogue and a lighthearted internal self-reverence.  Multi-level parallel storylines between Don Juan and Jack reflect just how much Don Juan’s biased account touches his doctor.  Of course, it is all totally over the top and ridiculous but a charming reflection and exploration nonetheless.  

I confess I was swoony over Johnny Depp…once.  Cry Baby, anyone? The Pirates of the Caribbean star shows the same fun and flair here in another fine example of perfect casting. Depp swaggers with a believable Spanish accent and delightful cavalier style- his Don Juan is truly a character who inspires everyone he encounters for the better.  He is so full of it, totally, yet he is so good at what he does all the same.  Don Juan’s sexual wisdom and philosophies of women and love are absurd while also making perfect sense. Perhaps it is just that we don’t often speak of such truths- or that the wit comes with a contrastingly stupid Zorro like getup- but it all works.  It’s also amusing how Don Juan seems to charm both men and women- pleasing to see how all walks can be touched by such sentiments and good-natured love.  Audiences can read into these mask motifs as well in theorizing on who we are and how we love. Which is really the mask that Don Juan wears? If we do fool ourselves into believing something we are not and that helps other people or at the very least doesn’t harm anyone, who’s to say it is a delusion? Don Juan thinks looking at life for what it is just uncreative!  Obviously, his issues are revealed during the course of his tale, and we see more and more evidence of how unlikely his reality is.  Real life, however, is beside the point in Don Juan DeMarco.  

Though I like Depp well enough, outside of The Godfather, I often find myself unimpressed with Marlon Brando.  Seriously, he looks like hell here (though not as bad as The Island of Doctor Moreau, ugh) - yet for me, this is one of his most charming and lovely performances.  He bemusingly plays along with Don Juan’s delusions in fun, faux Don-ness.  Maybe it’s meant to be Spanish in flair, but we of course think a little Corleone when Jack puts on some mocking zest.  He’s a retiring psychiatrist who has seen better days indeed.  His wit, however, matches Don Juan’s fluff perfectly- interrupting DeMarco’s tale of how women should be  delicately touched to abruptly ask if Don Juan is Mexican, Spanish, or Italian.  Brando’s great in going from stuffy old man to living vicariously through Don Juan. Despite knowing the preposterousness of his patient, seeing through all Don Juan’s plot holes, and giving clinical diagnosis on the delusions, Jack is still no less touched, even increasing skeptical about what the truth really means.  Is it better to burn so brightly and passionately for a shorter time or wash up with mediocrity and retire to boredom?  Despite his askew view, Don Juan sees through the masks that Jack has spent his life wearing. Even with all the psychological mystery presented by Depp, Don Juan DeMarco is just as much about the revelations for Jack, too.

Amid all this testosterone and speculation on the 1,503 conquests, Faye Dunaway (Bonnie and Clyde, Mommie Dearest) is breathtaking as the would-be old and washed up Marilyn Mickler.  She’s beautiful and endearing to all but Jack and herself- routine settled into their house a long time ago and early on in Don Juan DeMarco, it shows.  It’s great to see Marilyn blossom and be touched by Don Juan’s influence on Jack, and Dunaway is the perfect onscreen match to Brando.  She’s coming into a vibrancy and vitality as a sexy and confident middle-aged woman. Today a film like this would be made with a 35-year-old questioning love and age and it would beat everyone over the head with exactly what it is trying to say. Only that over and obvious hand would be given to the viewer- with no room for growth and inspiration.  Indeed, as Don Juan says, how boring and uncreative would that be? Rachel Ticotin (Total Recall) is also lovely as Don Juan’s mother Dona Inez- the perfectly ideal senorita as expected, and Talisa Soto (License to Kill, Mortal Kombat) is beautiful of course as lady love Dona Julia. Look also for a quick appearance by the late pop star Selena as well.

Don Juan DeMarco may be hampered by some iffy mid nineties style in the women’s fashions and set decor, but the made to look Mexico locales and great beach scenery fit the bill. Perhaps the Spanish uses and flavors might be a bit stereotypical, but this is an ideal flashback with unreliable narration from Don Juan- it’s all wistful and in good fun.  The goofy sultan’s harem scenes look the proper whimsy as well.  There is some brief nudity as expected in such a seemingly steamy show. However, the clean cut sex scenes are tame compared to stuff today. That being set, the photography is no less intimate and personal and yet funny thanks to appropriately placed music cues.  Yes, we were all sick of Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I Do It for You)” theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves that was everywhere back in the day. Thankfully, the scoring here and Don Juan DeMarco’s lovely string based “Have You Every Really Loved a Woman?” signature song still rings true with elements of timelessness and beauty.  Actually, I have the Don Juan DeMarco soundtrack- I found it second hand cheap and listen to it quite often. Come on, you know you love that guitar rift! Sing it with me! The music is classical when needed, pop when required, carries a touch of Latin flavor, and yet is decidedly cross-cultural.  It’s also lovely to hear some of the lyrics in both English and Spanish, with different arrangements and instrumental versions of the tune underlying the film.  Seeing the Bryan Adams music video included on the Don Juan DeMarco DVD as one of the few features was nice, too- although Adams in the Zorro mask has most definitely not stood the test of time!  

Though charming, Don Juan DeMarco may be a little too mature for younger Depp fans thanks to the swoon elements and satisfaction of a woman motifs- a woman is like a musical instrument to be coaxed and all that. I’m not really sure why this movie seems somewhat unloved. Someone at Netflix is clearly watching anyway!  There is more class, wit, and delight here than in the modern repetitive romantic comedies for sure  Lady Depp fans can absolutely delight here, and those looking for more whimsy and complexity can find it in the elder stars as well.  Suspend your disbelief, let go, and enrich yourself with Don Juan DeMarco.

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class Educates and Then Some

By Kristin Battestella

I have been waiting for X-Men: First Class for sometime indeed.  After the likes of the less than stellar Fantastic Four update and the dismal SyFy Channel attempt at The Phantom (A teen on a purple motorcycle is the best you can come up with for that franchise, really?), my expectations were exceeded by director Matthew Vaughn’s refreshingly simple concept to, as Artie Shaw would say, ‘Begin the Beguine’.

The Story

In 1944, Erik Lehnsherr (Bill Milner) witnesses Nazi scientist Klaus Schmidt’s (Kevin Bacon) torture firsthand thanks to his unique ability to manipulate metal. Young and privileged Charles Xavier (Laurence Belcher, later James McAvoy), however, takes in the scaled and blue mutant Raven (Morgan Lily, then Jennifer Lawrence) and by 1962, grows up to become a prominent scholar on mutations.  Erik (now Michael Fassbender) travels the globe in search of those who destroyed his family, ruthlessly cutting a swath towards Schmidt- who now goes by the name Sebastian Shaw.  Shaw and his fellow mutants Emma Frost (January Jones) and Azazel (Jason Flemyng) play both American plots and Russian plans against each other in hopes of starting nuclear war- and CIA agent Moira MacTaggert (Rose Byrne) needs Xavier’s help to catch them.  Xavier and mutant genius Hank McCoy (Nicholas Holt) use Cerebro to locate other mutants including Alex Summers (Lucas Till) and Sean Cassidy (Caleb Landry Jones). Charles also convinces Erik to join the team, although the latter is only interested in his personal vengeance quest.  During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the CIA turns to Xavier and his mutants to defeat Shaw, but Erik is convinced the innate fear of mankind against mutants will be their undoing.

Why do we have this thick, self-centered, and ever repeating notion of taking fifty years of comic books- or any literary or media franchise for that matter- and changing them to make it supposedly more relevant to our fleetingly contemporary minds and styles?  Producer Bryan Singer (director of X-Men and X-2: X-Men United) and director Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) smartly go back to the times and places where the X-Men comics began and create a unique, vibrant, and no less relatable tale. Writers Jane Goldman (of Stardust and Kick Ass also with Vaughn), Zach Stentz and Ashley Edward Miller (Andromeda, Thor), and Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air) craft a timeless story of friendship, belonging, and fracture wrapped with retro design and would be behind the scenes history.  Action and modern witticisms are not at the forefront here, characters and the plot at hand are.  This switcharoo away from what we are accustomed is all the more refreshing because it works so well. Overall, the dialogue is properly rooted in the sixties with fine, intelligent debates.  Some may be surprised at the slower and quieter moments here thanks to this focus on the personal, but the pace of X-Men: First Class is just right, a natural progression and build up of players and events.  What needs to happen happens, leading up to everything viewers of the first films and readers of the comics already know.  Even with such built in awareness, there is still room for surprises, tension, suspense, and suspension of disbelief. Hello, even knowing how the Cuban Missile Crisis plays out, I was still holding my breath at First Class’ outcome.  That’s impressive!

The Stars

I’m a little upset about the claims that there are no true stars and big names in X-Men: First Class. How is one to become a star but by stealing the show in a film like this? And who is it that has the viewers holding their breaths and unable to blink when he is onscreen? Why Michael Fassbender and his young Magneto, of course.  (All of you who thought I was nuts for praising his work at last understand what I mean- the lady behind me in the theater shouting ‘Dayumn!’ every time he did something sure caught on quick!) As the vengeful and reluctant dark horse on Xavier’s team, Fassbender (300, Hunger, Fish Tank, Inglorious Basterds, Jane Eyre) excels with a wildcard abandon for languages, action, anger, rage, tears, and vulnerability. Even knowing the villain he is to become, we can’t help but understand where Erik’s ideologies come from and see that his wary theories on human error aren’t that far from the truth.  Again, those are the best kinds of bad guys- the ones self justified in what they do.  We want Charles to, well, complete Erik- heal him and make his soul whole again.  When Erik is laughing along with the other mutants and sharing long untouched memories with Charles, we believe he could amount to great things for the common good. As much as I love Ian McKellen, your thoughts are not on the elder Man of Magnetism here. Fassbender is the Vader of X-Men: First Class. It’s downright beautiful when Xavier truly touches Erik mentally and they save each other’s lives in turn. It’s beautiful because confident, intelligent, sexy badass guys aren’t supposed to get touchy feely!  To reach such poignancy only to see Professor X and Magneto then fracture is so, so sweet.  As opposed to his avante garde independent films, Fassbender most definitely proves he can handle the lead in larger movies with X-Men: First Class. Ladies who didn’t love him before will want to take him home and wipes his tears while male comic book fans will shake his hand and fight along side him. 

Though some audiences were upset by the occasional accent changes or thought Fassbender’s accent dropped all together towards the end of the film; honestly, I only noticed a major Irish inflection once in two viewings.  Not that his voice didn’t waver, it certainly could have. However, when you are so into the movie and the dialogue being exchanged, at some point you just don’t notice that McAvoy is really Scottish and sounds nothing like Patrick Stewart, either.  It’s a half hour into the movie before Fassbender even speaks English anyway.  His French- normally assumed to be such a lovely and romantic language- is used wonderfully in a threatening interrogation. We already saw the charmingly tragic Bill Milner (Son of Rambow) speaking German as the young and traumatized Erik; but knowing this ruthless French is not Lehnsherr’s primary language only makes him all the more deadly, even scary in his scorn. American audiences only familiar with Fassbender’s undercover, German speaking English spy from Inglorious Basterds might even erroneously expect his natural accent to be British, but his German here is again flawless.  It’s edgy, angry, sarcastic, and he switches so smoothly from an effortless Spanish in that great Argentinean stand off.  Even if there were no subtitles, you understand Erik’s deadly inflections whatever language he speaks.  Add his budding 007 style complete with black turtlenecks, fedoras, and three-piece suits to that deadly magnetism and ruthlessness, and you know not to mess with this guy. So then, seeing Fassbender turn on the dime to laughter, tears, and mutant inspirations is just the biggest star making bonus- and it is about time American viewers got on the Fass’ bender. If vocal inflictions are all the fault you can find in his performance here… Touché Fassy. 

In some ways, I feel bad that Fassbender has stolen some of James McAvoy’s thunder, because there is nothing wrong with McAvoy (Wanted, Atonement, The Last King of Scotland) in this film.  He wonderfully embodies the youth and zest of our prequel Charles with such compassion, hope, and vigor.  McAvoy was, in fact, better than I expected him to be. Just Fassbender was better- and the two of them together, god sent!   Xavier begins First Class a little dense or arrogant in his superior thinking of mutant mind and alcohol.  McAvoy doesn’t have an easy task in making the do gooder rich boy likeable- Charles is spoiled and has it all compared to the juicy grey material and developmental arc for Magneto.  The juxtaposition of these two parallel but divergent friends is the core here.  Xavier learns some humility at a very big price- despite having big mutant dreams of saving the world and living peacefully with homo sapiens. Ironically, his enlightenment and awakening of Erik’s full power turns out to be his own undoing.  Hot damn! Frankenstonian aspects, Jekyll and Hyde amalgams, and Neanderthal comparisons add even more spin to this layered relationship and deep superhero movie.  How can two men who believe such drastically different things save each other? Are mutants to be the gracious superiors of humanity or should the advanced dominate before mankind lashes out in the extreme and fearful measures we are so clearly capable of? Is superiority defined by compassion or action? Which are you supposed to choose when neither choice is necessarily right nor wrong? Yes, you get these lofty concepts and more from First Class.

While internal conflict certainly goes a long way, Kevin Bacon (Mystic River, Apollo 13, Footloose, its Kevin Bacon, people!) as an awesome Bond-esque villain certainly helps up the ante.  Bacon is decrepitly delightful in his opening incarnation Klaus Schmidt- a scientist who thinks he knows where the Nazis have erred in their experimentations.  His suave Sebastian Shaw is equally juicy and selfish.  Bacon is not, hee, hamming it up, but he is enjoying himself with all the great sixties accessories, babes, and diabolical plans.  Shaw is vain, intelligent, and totally cruel.  What a guy!  Though it is probably highly unlikely thanks to an already jammed packed hardware season, I’d love to see Bacon with a Supporting Actor nomination.  He sets First Class in motion and sees his agenda through- for our mutants to defeat him is an insurmountable, uphill battle.  Does Shaw care that the planet is collateral damage? Nope.  By contrast, Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone, The Hunger Games) perfectly struggles to embrace her mutant identity as the blue skinned Mystique.  Where does she fit in between Charles’ vague attention and higher goals and Erik’s anti-human hell bent?  I’m shocked that anyone would think this woman is fat, and her gentle possibilities and dividing discussions with Nicholas Hoult’s (About a Boy, Skins) Beast moves naturally in reflection to the primary relationship and overall motifs here. The handheld, up close, personal filming of Hank’s transformation is also almost werewolf in tone.  He is ashamed and unable to control the, uh, beast within. Is that all being a mutant is- fear and secrecy- or can their gifts be embraced for good? The main players of X-Men: First Class offer plenty of good versus evil as expected in a superhero movie, but there’s star-making finer performance and thought, too.

The Lesser Mutants

Adding to some of that superhero fun are the naughty and villainous mutant henchmen. Or henchwoman, as is the case with January Jones as Emma Frost.  Jones (Mad Men) does her icy duty and serves her purpose in the first half of film, but is largely absent for the finale.  Her uneven treatment and bitchy exterior are slightly mishandled, yes. However, if First Class is meant to be like a Bond movie in tone, this pattern should be expected.  The pursuit of a subordinate always leads to the revealed major plan and pursuit of the main villain.  The women may all seem mistreated, but again, a sixties era show wouldn’t have equal representation. I know that is an easy copout answer, but Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids, Damages) is undercover in a garter belt (hehe that isn’t much coverage!) for goodness sake, go with it. Claims that women shouldn’t  be in the CIA are rectified behind closed doors with the admittances of how important the women along side the battle actually are, but that praise is fittingly never said to their faces.  The women in First Class- whether human, good mutant, bad mutant- are all misunderstood for a reason. I’m more upset that Spanish actor Alex Gonzalez as Riptide had no lines and Vaughn favorite Jason Flemyng (Clash of the Titans, Primeval) as Azazel had so little to do.  Though both cool, neither is given much to contribute beyond the big battles and flashy badness. Does this detract from the film? Strangely, no.  These are villainous henchman who are supposed to be badass and seemingly unstoppable for our heroes. Both men get that juice across just fine and make the most of the little they are given.   

Unfortunately, the rest of the ‘X-kids’ as I call them are lightweight and merely okay at best. Edi Gathegi (Twilight) as Darwin is completely misused, even insultingly mishandled.  Not much time is really spent on the second tier’s particular abilities or any pouts about their mutations- just enough for it to not get super juvenile.  Instead, the smart newsreels, split screen, and splicing effects during the training montage helps make what could be a typical teen eighties collage with badass music remain sixties cool. We notice how neat the effect from the time is almost as much as the supposedly important kids harnessing their powers to get the job done. The youthful players are only at their best in scenes with Xavier or Erik and are otherwise the underdeveloped detriment of First Class.  In some ways, it might have been better to have had two films- one to know Xavier and Magneto and the second for the recruitment of young mutants.  I feel harsh in saying it, but Zoe Kravitz’ (Californication) Angel does nothing to advance the film.  Lucas Till (Hannah Montana: The Movie) as Havok seems to be too 21^st century flippant and mutant cool as well, putting both in direct opposition to the pain, angst, compassion and ruthlessness from the primary players.  Caleb Landry Jones (Friday Night Lights) as Banshee is more tolerable thanks to some of his humor, but really were he and Angel only included in the film ahead of so many other mutants just for cool dogfight flying above Cuba? Did any of these younger mutants really need to be there? Honestly, the answer is no. First Class’ bread and butter is in its main players, and every time the story cuts away from them, you can’t wait to get back.

However, I seem to be alone in my dislike of the beloved surprise cameo in X-Men: First Class. This no big shocker appearance doesn’t really do anything to advance the story at hand, thus my red pencil editing brain is screaming it shouldn’t be there.  Not that the scene in of itself doesn’t work or isn’t funny, just perhaps such shoehorn stunt casting is better served as an Easter egg or extended video footage. First Class stands up just fine without you know who, bub. Why not have someone who may be Gambit throwing our boys out of a poker game with some flaming cards? Why not have a girl named Kitty scream at their approach and run through a wall? For what this appearance cost, I would much rather have had some more time spent on developing the younger mutants already in the film.  By contrast, the second, more unexpected cameo serves a purpose here, working beautifully with Jennifer Lawrence’s development of Mystique and her relationship with Magneto. I am still thinking about this scene!  Oliver Platt (Huff, The Bronx is Burning) as the unnamed CIA Man in Black is also a lot of fun at inviting the mutants in and giving them their gadgetry, and the aforementioned Rose Byrne does just fine in what she’s given.  I’d like to see more of her MacTaggert and Professor X in a sequel, hint hint. Lastly, I must mention the fine ‘hey that guy!’ everybody and their grandma appearances rounding out the cast- including Ray Wise (the dad from Twin Peaks), Glenn Morshower (24), Matt Craven (Crimson Tide), James Remar (Dexter), Don Creech (Ned’s Declassified), and Michael Ironside (he’s effing Ironside, people!)

Bond. Design Bond.

Now then, do allow me a paragraph for more on the sweet, sweet Bondian aspects of X-Men: First Class- because frankly, they are undeniable to even a 007 layman. Michael Fassbender looks so friggin’ Bond, it is unreal.  In some ways, this film is more Bond than Quantum of Solace, and there is nothing wrong with that!  When Erik wears that fedora, goodness me, I thought he was going to toss it on a hat rack!  We didn’t get an opening gun barrel scene in that last Bond film, but Vaughn made damn sure to give his audience a pseudo gun barrel turn. And wow, how about those Bond title sequence styled end credits?  Even an early rogue underwater attack on Shaw’s yacht- complete with a detachable submarine- had me thinking some of my favorite Dalton from License to Kill.  Though the director and his star leaned more toward Dr. No and Sean Connery, I seriously can see Fassbender as a cross between Dalton and current Bond Daniel Craig.  And though he has already shown his chops for the role in previous films (I told you so!), Fassbender’s emotional Bond kinship and Vaughn’s intimate directing ways further proves X-Men: First Class is about people who just happen to be mutants- as opposed to contemporary banal action flicks about car chases and shootouts and little else.  

X-Men: First Class naturally wouldn’t be any good if it were the garish sixties look or Austin Powers camp we might expect.  However, the hairstyles, fashions for the men and women, and the set décor do indicate just enough of that aforementioned swinging Bond style.  Goodness, I’ve also been watching Dark Shadows again recently, and First Class has none of that bad blue and green paisley! Classy lamps, fun artwork, short skirts and tall boots, lots of leather, and some sweet turtlenecks keep it all just right.  Though by definition a period piece, this is not so period to put off anyone. The over the top is reserved for mutant gadgetry or fun villainy, and truly, after awhile, I forgot about the 1962 setting until the great use of JFK archival snippets and newsreel split screens reminded me. Yes, Charles says groovy twice, but it is a drunken pick up line and works perfectly in context. The brief period music fits into the club scenes when used- and it isn’t blaring or overwhelming the show.  Actually, X-Men: First Class did not give me a headache, and there weren’t many scenes expressly used for action’s sake, coughmichaelbaycough. Some of the concluding battle does look ill choreographed, but what do you expect from new mutants duking it out? Besides, the period fleets and aircraft are too damn sweet.  This attention to detail makes First Class genuinely look like a sixties movie, as opposed to some of those modern films ‘made to look old’. 

The Experience

While I’ve had mostly praise outside of a few questionable mutants, I was expecting more flaws in X-Men: First Class.  I spoiled myself on all the trailers, clips, and mistaken artwork and viral campaign- but most of that is largely out of context here. There is plenty more in the film that has yet to be seen online or in TV spots.  Unfortunately, it seems there were also longer bits or alternate takes used in some of the spots that are not here, and First Class does have a Fellowship of the Ring feeling, as if, well, we’ve only just begun.  Hopefully, anything excised will be on the video releases to come. Though justifiably long at 2 hours and 12 minutes, it does seem like there could have more to tell- the conclusion here definitely leaves you yearning for what happens next.  Is this a bromance? Is it too gay? Are their both pleasing consistencies and irritating inconsistencies with the original films?  Is it too politics of 2011? Well yes and no and absolutely are the answers to all those questions, and First Class still works wonderfully. I am, however, surprised by all the doom and gloom hyperbole saying First Class is a failure for only earning $56 million its opening weekend.  In the midst of a recession, First Class has thus far held its own with its primary predecessor- and that is with a very iffy marketing campaign, no fancy higher 3D return, and absolutely no merchandising strategy.  The critical reception for First Class has also been mostly praiseworthy, as compared to its most recent precursor X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  Is it not better to have both modest success and acclaim?  If the team behind First Class had been looking for a fantastical wad with no substance, they would have pursued 3D.  The fact that they didn’t shows they are more interested in making a quality film, and amen to that!

For my Friday 11:30 a.m. First Class cinema going experience, about 25 people attended and 5 folks were on cell phones. What then, is the ratio of time and people spent on the phone for a 2-hour movie? There were only a few women and one family with children, mostly it seemed like a bunch of guys cutting school and talking on the phone.  For those interested in the trailers, Mr. Popper’s Penguins is the required Jim Carrey family plug, but The Green Lantern’s trailer overflows with bad CGI. I could care less about Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon- it garnered a mere shrug from my Dad and a ‘looks messy’- though The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo looked good from what you could see.  Unfortunately, the teaser was so dang loud and rapid fire in your face that it made itself somewhat unappealing.  Rise of the Planet of the Apes looked like a cross between the aforementioned Transformers and Congo, with angry growling apes attacking cars on a bridge, yeah.  I do like The Three Musketeers- but in 3D, seriously? Lastly, Immortals looks exactly like 300- replete with fantastical slow motion phalanx and Fassbender’s flying Stelios. I kid you not.  Suffice to say, I don’t think there’s anything there I will see in the theater. But I would see First Class again. I did. Twice.

Do you need to be a fan of X-Men to enjoy First Class? Though calling the film ‘outstanding,’ my Father insisted this is not the kind of prequel you can see ahead of the original films. I, however, do think new audiences unaware can be floored all the same.  Longtime fans might find a few contradictions, but the stylized charm and performance forgive the question marks here. Those who would normally not consider a cheesy comic book show can also enjoy X-Men: First Class, as it is at least on par with other recently acclaimed and more serious superhero films like The Dark Knight and Spiderman 2.  I myself feel its kinship to the lovely heart and soul and nostalgia of the 1978 Superman. With only one f-bomb and some implied sexuality, this PG-13 is also safe for the family and has enough faux history, real emotion, and fine intelligence for the grown ups.  Save up and see X-Men: First Class ASAP.