30 November 2009

A Bond Overview

A Bond Overview

By Kristin Battestella


Like Sharpe before him, James Bond has taken over in recent months here at I Think, Therefore I Review. Even after having watched all this 007 goodness in the spirit of review, I still would not call myself a Lover of all things Bond nor a Bond expert. I really like one or two films from each Bond tenure, but I could also leave a lot of these pictures out of my collection.


For quick reference, here’s a list of Bond films in chronological order, with links to our reviews:

1. Dr. No

2. From Russia With Love

3. Goldfinger

4. Thunderball

5. You Only Live Twice

6. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

7. Diamonds Are Forever

8. Live and Let Die

9. The Man with the Golden Gun

10. The Spy Who Loved Me

11. Moonraker

12. For Your Eyes Only

13. Octopussy

14. Never Say Never Again

15. A View To A Kill

16. The Living Daylights

17. License to Kill

18. GoldenEye

19. Tomorrow Never Dies

20. The World Is Not Enough

21. Die Another Day

22. Casino Royale

23. Quantum of Solace


Now, here’s my attempt to rate them all-subject to change, of course. I image there’s a few folks who disagree, so please feel free to comment or visit the individual reviews and critique there. The Top Twelve are the pictures that I recommend for explicit Bond fans and action viewers alike.

23. Moonraker

22. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

21. Thunderball

20. Octopussy

19. The Man With the Golden Gun

18. Never Say Never Again

17. The World Is Not Enough

16. Die Another Day

15. Diamonds Are Forever

14. Quantum of Solace

13. A View To A Kill

12. Tomorrow Never Dies

11. Live and Let Die

10. Casino Royale

9. For Your Eyes Only

8. License to Kill

7. The Living Daylights

6. From Russia With Love

5. You Only Live Twice

4. The Spy Who Loved Me

3. Dr. No

2. Goldfinger

1. GoldenEye



Naturally you'll notice I've not reviewed every Bond picture as yet. I debated not posting this overview until I finished, but I didn't want to leave Our Man James hanging on over the holidays! Then again, I might be hanged for my rankings!

25 November 2009

More Dark Shadows Specials

Dark Shadows Specials Feed your Need

By Kristin Battestella


It’s inevitable. Every Fall I get that hankering for a good old marathon of the classics sixties gothic soap opera Dark Shadows. Now mind you, I prefer the latter half of the series, and only have from the Quentin Collins introduction to the end of the series on tape. Even if that’s the case, this lingering Halloween temptation still gives me thirty-five VHS to watch! Who has that kind of time? Fortunately, a Dark Shadows fix can be quelled with several video specials: Dark Shadows Scariest Moments, Dark Shadows: The Special Edition, and The Dark Shadows Reunion.


Like Dark Shadows: Bloopers and Treasures, the Dark Shadows Special Edition serves up several wonderful documentaries, commercials, treats, and more. The hour-long Behind the Scenes segment contains rare early footage, photos, and outtakes to go along with the dozens of interviews from the cast and crew. It’s a little dated and very late eighties in style, but it’s great to hear the set anecdotes and see some of the actors who have since passed on. Tribute is also paid to the then departed as well; and I have to say, the subtitles are also glorious!

The next hour length documentary called ‘Nightmares and Dreams’ showcases all those bizarre dream scenes Dark Shadows fans know and love. Some of its old and looks slow and dated, but it’s so great to see these commercials and other rarities have survived on DVD-especially the very bizarre Spanish dubbed episode. The On location segment shares some very old footage; but is still intriguing, as is the Inside the Shadows feature about the casting of Jonathan Frid and the vampire mythos. Non-fans or viewers not interested in vintage gothic filmmaking might find all this boring. The Dark Shadows enthusiast, however, is in for plenty of spooky delights. I mean, the Barnabas Collins Board Game-need I say more?


The Dark Shadows Reunion is a two-hour plus disc capturing a special cast reunion from 2000. Previously on tape as the ‘35th Anniversary Celebration’, creator Dan Curtis and most of the original cast reunite to share clips, memories, and the cultural impact of this spooky soap. Highlights include a segment from the very first episode among other early clips, a lengthy reel of key scenes from the series, and a Q&A from the audience. The format is a little long in the tooth (hehe, no pun intended!), but again it’s a treat to see some of the late cast sharing stories of the behind the scenes craziness and fun.

Of course, all this is very dry and flat to the non-fan, but old time Dark Shadows convention goers can cherish this fanfare. Bonus features on the set include interviews with the late Joan Bennett and the absent Jonathan Frid-in addition to more commercials and promos. However, there are no subtitles here, and not everyone is present at the reunion. Understandable, of course, but critical players like Frid and David Henesy would have been a hard-core fan’s delight.


The half hour Dark Shadows Scariest Moments is a quick, creepy fix highlighting some of the series’ most memorable moments, from the original Phoenix storyline line right up to the final 1841 Parallel time episodes. Though not all of the pro-offered material can be deemed truly scary, it’s fun to recall some of the show’s unique and iconic scenes. Where else on daytime television are people buried alive or plagued by a truly horrendous dream curse? The editing and pacing is a little slow and uneven, sometimes taking quiet a long time to get to the big scare, but that was the style of the show, too. Thankfully, the music goes a long way in the Dark Shadows mood and atmosphere. When we hear those familiar themes by Bob Cobert, we know what’s in store.

Dark Shadows Scariest Moments, however, is not an introduction piece. It jumps from character to storyline, the past and parallel time. You really have to know who is who and appreciate the series for this spooky, gothic video to have its full effect. I’ve always thought the later Gerard Stiles and Head of Judah Zachary storylines were freaky and frightful, but there’s pieces here of everything Dark Shadows has to offer. Of course, it’s also fun to look for some bloopers in these spookies, too.


Fortunately, I have Dark Shadows Scariest Moments on VHS, but it appears it’s never been available on DVD. In a new effort to appease audiences, MPI appears to be releasing several more compilation and highlight DVDS- including Dark Shadows: the Curse of the Vampire and Dark Shadows: The Haunting of Collinwood. These new sets look to be nice refreshers on Barnabas’ introduction and Quentin’s haunting, respectively. While these don’t appear on Netflix just yet, the season sets are all available for rent. The 1991 Revival series is viewable online as well. The feature film House of Dark Shadows is also available at Amazon’s video on demand for a quick fix. Dark Shadows Scariest Moments advertises The Best of Barnabas and the Best of Dark Shadows tapes, but who knows if these can still be found. Unfortunately, the second full-length film Night of Dark Shadows has also not seen the light of DVD’s day.


If you don’t have the time to invest in a full on Dark Shadows viewing devotion, or if you’re short on cash to buy the season sets, Dark Shadows Scariest Moments, The Dark Shadows Special Edition, and The Dark Shadows Reunion can curb your Collinwood urges-until next October, that is!


24 November 2009

A Taste of Christmas Vinyl

A Taste of Christmas Vinyl

By Kristin Battestella


Maybe it is a little too early for Christmas. Even a traditional Thanksgiving is subverted with December décor and holiday music. Nevertheless, to combat the early shopping season, I’ve decided to list my collection of Holiday albums. And yes, I mean albums-as in records, lps, vinyl. Dust off the musty box o’ records in the basement and get your collection out of the attic-it’ll melt!

I’ve linked to Amazon Vinyl where available. Some of these sets are well known in CD or digital and download media, but others are out of print and quite the value. You can even buy a few of these gems cheap at thrift shops or Salvation Army and Goodwill stores. Sweet yuletide tunes and doing some good for our fellow man- not bad, my little elves!


A Christmas Album Barbara Streisand

Christmas Hymns George Beverly Shea

The Christmas Song Nat King Cole

Christmas through the Years Readers Digest Collection

Favorite Christmas Carols Voices of Firestone

Great Songs of Christmas Album 2

Great Songs of Christmas Album 3

Great Songs of Christmas Album 6

A Henry Mancini Christmas

Holiday Sing a Long with Mitch

Joyous Christmas Volume 4

The Little Drummer Boy The Abbey Choir

Merry Christmas Bing Crosby

Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis

The Nutcracker Tchaikovsky’s Ballets

O Holy Night Luciano Pavarotti

Seasons Greetings from Perry Como

Silent Night: A Diplomat Christmas Record

Sing We Now of Christmas Harry Simeone Chorale

A Very Merry Christmas Volume 5


So, what’s the value of my collection? By guessing with the online auction prices, my Christmas records alone stand under $200. Not bad considering I’ve not spent $10 for the few I purchased! Every December, I am always tempted to find the rest of those Great Songs of Christmas albums. Then I go to the junk shops and see records I already have and think better of it!


I have more Christian music and inspirational hymns on record, too, but I think I’ll save that list for Easter. ;0)


19 November 2009

Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis

It’s Not a Merry Christmas without Johnny Mathis

By Kristin Battestella


I don’t advocate the entire Johnny Mathis catalogue to the next generation. Outside of the timeless hits ‘Chances Are’, ‘Wonderful Wonderful’, and ‘It’s Not for Me to Say’ there’s isn’t much for today’s masses. No, in tonight’s review, I’m speaking to the moms, the old aunts, and the grandmothers of December yesteryear. You know you can’t visit their households during the holiday season without hearing Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis. If you’re a little younger like me, you might have the CD, but I’m sure older folks can close their eyes and see Johnny and his skiing get up on the 1958 vinyl sleeve cover. Yeah, you know that the Christmas kitschy I’m talking about!

Other artists have certainly done Winter Wonderland, but Johnny’s rendition is tough to beat. It’s fun, carefree, sing-along-able; yet holds enough weight for Mathis’ range and delivery. I’m not listening to the song right now, but the tune instantly comes to mind with Johnny’s hip stylings. Now it’s stuck in my frigging head and I can’t type all the beats and bubbly bits to match him!


No fifties Christmas album produced by Mitch Miller (Sing A Long with Mitch, anyone?) would be complete without The Christmas Song. Johnny Mathis comes close to the original Nat King Cole rendition in sentimental mood and holiday warmth. This slow brooding, melancholy tune is just the right pace and style for Johnny’s talent. Although it’s at the opposite end of the spectrum, Sleigh Ride also gives us more definitive Mathis. I dare say this happening version-the shortest and fastest song here- is the most famous vocal version and only second to the Boston Pops original. Catchy Johnny captures all the traditions of Currier and Ives in this short and sweet secular staple.

Now that we’ve had our sleighing fun, it’s time to slow Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis for some winter blues. Where Elvis’ version has some sweet blues vocals, Johnny’s Blue Christmas is for all the folks who hate Christmas and think it’s the most depressing time of the year. If it’s slow brew wasn’t tear jerking enough, Mathis’ mellow I’ll be Home for Christmas will have you calling your grandma. The vocals and orchestration by Percy Faith are so sweet and nonchalant as they tug at your holiday heartstrings. Whether he’s billowing the big notes or almost speaking a soft word or two, Johnny knows how to get you.

Now, no Christmas album since 1942 is complete without White Christmas and Mathis’ debut holiday record here is no different. This slightly slower version keeps all the yuletide resonance in the perfect range for Johnny’s delivery. It’s bittersweet, but somehow marshmallow and full of vocal snowflakes. This one song can still make people smile as quickly as it brings a tear.


Like many of its compatriots of the time, Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis’ original record is split with an A side of secular tunes and a B side of traditional Christmas Carols. Outside of Luciano Pavarotti and Mario Lanza, not many men can hit the high notes in O Holy Night. Pop stars of the day like Andy Williams and Perry Como drop down the octaves, but not Johnny. He takes all the time and measures that this hefty carol needs for complete reverence. Though O Holy Night is the longest tune here, we get a complete rendition of What Child Is This in equally fine gospel delivery. Perhaps because of its association with Greensleeves, I always feel some medieval stylings here. In the midst of the plague and the wrongs of the Inquisition, Christ’s light prevailed!

Yes, we are listening to versions of carols from the 1950s; but just think, people in the 1850s were hearing joyful noise with the same tunes. In keeping with the Old World yule, The First Noel strikes the perfect balance between Johnny’s higher notes and all the low octaves. Sometimes I just like his lone ‘Noel’ delivery, for it makes perfect sense that ‘Noel’ and ‘Israel’ should rhyme when Mathis sings it! Thought not a Carol, Silver Bells lightens Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis just a bit with those good old memories of Christmas in the City. You know, before people trampled each other over the latest smartphone and where too busy with their earpieces to say ‘Merry Christmas’ to each other.

I have to say, It Came Upon a Midnight Clear isn’t found on too many popular Christmas albums, and that’s a dang shame. Mathis’ lofty tune here gives this holiday hymn its due. From the solid lyrics and delivery, we’ve no doubt what the ‘it’ is that the angels feel the need to sing about. Of course, it’s no surprise that Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis concludes with Silent Night. Light the candles and sing it sweet and low with Johnny. Again, this tune captures the true meaning of Christmas. In the quiet, darkest hour of night, the light of miracles shines brightest. So what if December 25 may not be the true date of Christ’s birth. Roman, Germanic, Jewish, and Christian traditions are all celebrating the warmth, light, and joy of salvation from nature’s darkest hour. Hot damn, the fire of the human spirit prevails another year!


Fans of an old fashioned, traditional Christmas can’t go wrong with Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis. Even if you don’t like him or his pop music, almost every song here can carry a December memory for you and yours. Pick up the CD or dig up that kitschy vinyl as you untangled the Christmas lights this holiday season.

17 November 2009

Classic Leading Ladies

Classic Leading Ladies

By Kristin Battestella


I love classic leading men- as you can see by my mentioning of Gregory Peck, Montgomery Clift, and Clark Gable below. Unfortunatey, I don’t often obsess over an old picture based upon its leading lady. These classics, however, are a quick glimpse at some of the best dames the silver screen has to offer. If you’re looking for a few goddess of old, it’s tough to beat the ladies here.


Queen Christina (1933) – Some of this Greta Garbo costume drama is tough to swallow in pacing and melodrama, but the infamous Swedish actress shows her stuff as the titular 17th century monarch torn between religion, war, love, and the throne. Though not entirely historically accurate, the fashions look great-and the politics here shed light on a lesser-known time and place. Who else but Garbo could take on medieval Sweden and single handedly steal the show?


Gaslight (1944) – Ingrid Bergman’s Oscar winning performance leads an all-star cast in this psychological turn of the century murder mystery. Is she crazy? Will Joseph Cotton solve the crime before it’s too late? Some of Gaslight is a bit obvious to today’s wiser audiences, but Bergman’s (another Swedish dynamo) delightfully mental performance makes the getting there so sweet.


Double Indemnity (1944) – Is Oscar nominee Barbara Stanwyck trying to kill her husband for the insurance money? This chilling film noir serves up the quintessentials of the genre with mood, atmosphere, and a chilling performance by Stanwyck-who actually isn’t one of my favorites. Once you see Double Indemnity, however, you almost don’t need to see another Stanwyck picture. Well, of course, there’s The Lady Eve, Meet John Doe, and Christmas in Connecticut, but Stanwyck is the definitive conniving temptress here.


The Heiress – Oscar winner Olivia de Havilland has never been as delightful. Is Montgomery Clift pursuing the mousy, bland, uninteresting Catherine Sloper merely for her wealth? How could he adore the made to look ugly and meek de Havilland? Should Catherine run away with him or listen to her stern Father Dr. Sloper (Ralph Richardson)? The Heiress is a pathetic, yet somehow lovely 1840s styled gem with fine performances and a bittersweet air.


A Place in the Sun – “Tell Mama. Tell Mama all.” Elizabeth Taylor’s beautiful and tragic performance seeps into our collective consciousness without even having to try. There are so many lines, iconic scenes, and wonderful performances in this George Stevens’ 1951 classic also starring my favorite underrated leading man Montgomery Clift. Based on the popular and scandalous novel An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser, this fifties time capsule still resonates today.


Roman Holiday – Reporter Gregory Peck woos the fish out of water Princess Audrey Hepburn in this romantic time capsule of fifties filmmaking and Roman splendor. The black and white photography sometimes hinders the Edith Head costumes and royal grandeur, but it’s still enchanting decoration nonetheless. Though coming from an aristocratic background herself, Audrey’s Oscar winning debut is charming, delightful, and still relatable to audiences high and low almost sixty years on.


Johnny Guitar – This female laden and colorful guilty pleasure western stars Joan Crawford as a saloon owner caught between the law and her love-the titular Johnny Guitar. This film takes itself way too seriously and serves up one over the top scene after another-but it’s also great fun seeing the harsh Crawford give it back to the boys with some Arizona romance and melodrama. Maybe it’s not her best role; but in many ways, Johnny Guitar stands out in Joan’s repertoire for its fashion, departures, and innuendo.


The Misfits – This 1961 statement making western from Arthur Miller and John Huston has the dubious distinction of being the final picture of two Old Hollywood icons: Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe. Round out the lead trio with my man Montgomery Clift (who himself only made three more pictures), behind the scenes drama, onset conflict, and then add the sale and slaughter of the American mustang onscreen and you have a bittersweet cult classic. Despite her increasing personal difficulties, Monroe proves she’s more than a pretty song and dance filly here with melancholy in her wispy pout and presence against the boys.


Not all of these classics are currently available on DVD or blu-ray, and sacrilegiously Queen Christina, Gaslight, and The Misfits are not on the National Film Registry! Nevertheless, keep your eyes peeled for these gems and more from these and other Hollywood leading ladies of old. You can’t go wrong with a good classic or a fine doll can you?