Don Juan DeMarco

Don Juan DeMarco Charming and Witty Fun

By Kristin Battestella

Seriously, I think Netflix only has one copy of certain films, and they seem to be all the ones in my queue.  Fittingly, I held onto the 1995 sappy Johnny Depp comedy Don Juan DeMarco for an entire week just to soften the blow of what felt like a two year wait.

Despite bedding thousands of women-1,503 to be exact- 21 year old Don Juan DeMarco (Depp) has been rejected by his one true love and wishes to end his life honorably.  He goes to the top of a New York building where psychiatrist Jack Mickler (Marlon Brando) talks Don Juan down.  Now that he is on a 10-day psychiatric hold, the debonair Don Juan must prove to Jack that he is not delusional over a masked centerfold and a reading of Lord Byron’s tale before the institution’s higher ups insist upon medicating him into monotony.  Even considering the absurd account of Don Juan’s tale, Jack warms to this last patient before retirement and is inspired to liven up his contented marriage.  Mrs. Mickler (Faye Dunaway), however, asks her husband one critical question- who is Don Juan really?

Humorous themes of unexpected dreams and romance aren’t the typical subject matter from producer Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather); but this wry comedy written and directed Jeremy Leven (The Notebook) has plenty of mature debates on age, love, state of mind, and well, whimsy. This is not an outright comedy like the slapstick or gross out we expect today, but it is not so overly romantic to drive away folks like me who usually can’t take a rom com. There’s enough depth here beyond the Zorro jokes and possible drool- but with material such as this, one can’t get too heavy a la Good Will Hunting, either. Don Juan DeMarco finds a smart balance by being able to laugh at itself with fun dialogue and a lighthearted internal self-reverence.  Multi-level parallel storylines between Don Juan and Jack reflect just how much Don Juan’s biased account touches his doctor.  Of course, it is all totally over the top and ridiculous but a charming reflection and exploration nonetheless.  

I confess I was swoony over Johnny Depp…once.  Cry Baby, anyone? The Pirates of the Caribbean star shows the same fun and flair here in another fine example of perfect casting. Depp swaggers with a believable Spanish accent and delightful cavalier style- his Don Juan is truly a character who inspires everyone he encounters for the better.  He is so full of it, totally, yet he is so good at what he does all the same.  Don Juan’s sexual wisdom and philosophies of women and love are absurd while also making perfect sense. Perhaps it is just that we don’t often speak of such truths- or that the wit comes with a contrastingly stupid Zorro like getup- but it all works.  It’s also amusing how Don Juan seems to charm both men and women- pleasing to see how all walks can be touched by such sentiments and good-natured love.  Audiences can read into these mask motifs as well in theorizing on who we are and how we love. Which is really the mask that Don Juan wears? If we do fool ourselves into believing something we are not and that helps other people or at the very least doesn’t harm anyone, who’s to say it is a delusion? Don Juan thinks looking at life for what it is just uncreative!  Obviously, his issues are revealed during the course of his tale, and we see more and more evidence of how unlikely his reality is.  Real life, however, is beside the point in Don Juan DeMarco.  

Though I like Depp well enough, outside of The Godfather, I often find myself unimpressed with Marlon Brando.  Seriously, he looks like hell here (though not as bad as The Island of Doctor Moreau, ugh) - yet for me, this is one of his most charming and lovely performances.  He bemusingly plays along with Don Juan’s delusions in fun, faux Don-ness.  Maybe it’s meant to be Spanish in flair, but we of course think a little Corleone when Jack puts on some mocking zest.  He’s a retiring psychiatrist who has seen better days indeed.  His wit, however, matches Don Juan’s fluff perfectly- interrupting DeMarco’s tale of how women should be  delicately touched to abruptly ask if Don Juan is Mexican, Spanish, or Italian.  Brando’s great in going from stuffy old man to living vicariously through Don Juan. Despite knowing the preposterousness of his patient, seeing through all Don Juan’s plot holes, and giving clinical diagnosis on the delusions, Jack is still no less touched, even increasing skeptical about what the truth really means.  Is it better to burn so brightly and passionately for a shorter time or wash up with mediocrity and retire to boredom?  Despite his askew view, Don Juan sees through the masks that Jack has spent his life wearing. Even with all the psychological mystery presented by Depp, Don Juan DeMarco is just as much about the revelations for Jack, too.

Amid all this testosterone and speculation on the 1,503 conquests, Faye Dunaway (Bonnie and Clyde, Mommie Dearest) is breathtaking as the would-be old and washed up Marilyn Mickler.  She’s beautiful and endearing to all but Jack and herself- routine settled into their house a long time ago and early on in Don Juan DeMarco, it shows.  It’s great to see Marilyn blossom and be touched by Don Juan’s influence on Jack, and Dunaway is the perfect onscreen match to Brando.  She’s coming into a vibrancy and vitality as a sexy and confident middle-aged woman. Today a film like this would be made with a 35-year-old questioning love and age and it would beat everyone over the head with exactly what it is trying to say. Only that over and obvious hand would be given to the viewer- with no room for growth and inspiration.  Indeed, as Don Juan says, how boring and uncreative would that be? Rachel Ticotin (Total Recall) is also lovely as Don Juan’s mother Dona Inez- the perfectly ideal senorita as expected, and Talisa Soto (License to Kill, Mortal Kombat) is beautiful of course as lady love Dona Julia. Look also for a quick appearance by the late pop star Selena as well.

Don Juan DeMarco may be hampered by some iffy mid nineties style in the women’s fashions and set decor, but the made to look Mexico locales and great beach scenery fit the bill. Perhaps the Spanish uses and flavors might be a bit stereotypical, but this is an ideal flashback with unreliable narration from Don Juan- it’s all wistful and in good fun.  The goofy sultan’s harem scenes look the proper whimsy as well.  There is some brief nudity as expected in such a seemingly steamy show. However, the clean cut sex scenes are tame compared to stuff today. That being set, the photography is no less intimate and personal and yet funny thanks to appropriately placed music cues.  Yes, we were all sick of Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I Do It for You)” theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves that was everywhere back in the day. Thankfully, the scoring here and Don Juan DeMarco’s lovely string based “Have You Every Really Loved a Woman?” signature song still rings true with elements of timelessness and beauty.  Actually, I have the Don Juan DeMarco soundtrack- I found it second hand cheap and listen to it quite often. Come on, you know you love that guitar rift! Sing it with me! The music is classical when needed, pop when required, carries a touch of Latin flavor, and yet is decidedly cross-cultural.  It’s also lovely to hear some of the lyrics in both English and Spanish, with different arrangements and instrumental versions of the tune underlying the film.  Seeing the Bryan Adams music video included on the Don Juan DeMarco DVD as one of the few features was nice, too- although Adams in the Zorro mask has most definitely not stood the test of time!  

Though charming, Don Juan DeMarco may be a little too mature for younger Depp fans thanks to the swoon elements and satisfaction of a woman motifs- a woman is like a musical instrument to be coaxed and all that. I’m not really sure why this movie seems somewhat unloved. Someone at Netflix is clearly watching anyway!  There is more class, wit, and delight here than in the modern repetitive romantic comedies for sure  Lady Depp fans can absolutely delight here, and those looking for more whimsy and complexity can find it in the elder stars as well.  Suspend your disbelief, let go, and enrich yourself with Don Juan DeMarco.

Summer Split Decisions

Summer Split Decisions

By Kristin Battestella

Some films you love without a doubt after numerous viewings.  Other shows you can’t get past the first fifteen minutes.  Unfortunately, what’s a viewer to do when torn between a movie’s good and ills?  Here are a few films both young and old on which I simply can’t decide!

The Bone Collector – Only Denzel Washington (Glory, Training Day) could deliver so fine a performance from a hospital bed.  The wonderful supporting cast- including Ed O’Neill (Married with Children), Queen Latifah (Chicago), and Luis Guzman (Carlito’s Way) - is great.  The spooky and grisly crimes from Jeffery Deaver’s source novel are intense.  Director Philip Noyce’s (Patriot Games) claustrophobic and dark camera angles juxtapose perfectly with the neat, upscale, and high tech remote technology.  Now then, I like Angelina Jolie (Girl Interrupted, Tomb Raider) I really do, especially in some of her earlier work such as this- but I don’t like her here.  She does well as a protégé cop with something to prove, but it’s as if Angie and Denzel are in too different movies.  Both have talent indeed, and they might even have chemistry should they work together again, but the pair is just too flat here.  You have to watch this one twice-once for the Denzel angle, and once for the Jolie feel. 

Highlander: Endgame – It’s the stuff of a Highlander fan’s dream: Connor MacLeod and Duncan MacLeod in one movie!  Despite the alternate establishments in the 92-98 television series, 2000’s Endgame has a decent enough storyline and plot to keep things plausible-unlike the useless 2007 sequel Highlander: The Source.  Bruce Payne (Passenger 57) and his villains are cool enough, main chick Lisa Barbusica (Bridget Jones’ Diary) is likeable, and of course, our immortals Christopher Lambert (Mortal Kombat) and Adrian Paul (Tracker) are wonderful.  However, something just isn’t right with Endgame.  I want to like it, honestly I do; but some of the more complex, multipart storylines of the series are better.  It also seems like no matter how hard they try- especially with alternate versions and special DVD cuts- all these movie sequels just aren’t as good as the original.  Completists will eat this one up, but casual fans are better off with the 1986 debut film or the series.  As it turns out, Connor and Duncan together is too good to be true.  After all, ‘There can be only one!’

The Legend of Hell House – Many consider this 1973 haunt fest a serious horror classic.  No doubt about it, the scares, kinky innuendo, terrifying house, psycho psychics, and ghostly dynamics are all here in fine form.  The filming and music is of its time yet still creepily shocking and askew today-maybe more so thanks to the now period looking styles.  Roddy McDowall (Planet of the Apes), Pamela Franklin (The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie), Clive Revill (Avanti!), and Gayle Hunnicutt (Dallas) are gothic perfection, too. Unfortunately, the weak, too tame and simply dumb ending here undoes all of author Richard Matheson’s legwork- it just isn’t as juicy as his source novel.  Of course, if made today, there would be so much sex, gore, twists, turns, and herky jerky bad camera work that no concept or story would make it in the film.  I know, I know, beggars can’t be choosers.

Public Enemies (2009) – I love Depression era music, movies, and styles; and once upon a time, I really liked Christian Bale.  Ergo then, one would assume I’d be in heaven with this gangster flick starring Bale (The Dark Knight) as FBI man Melvin Purvis and Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean) as bad boy John Dillinger.  Unfortunately, I didn’t even make it to the end here.  Halfway thru, I stopped caring if the 45-year-old Depp as 31-year-old Dillinger was misunderstood, and Bale was more boring than badass.  The costumes looked great, and the Chicago scenery was wonderful, but there wasn’t enough period tunes to really set the mood.  Too many liberties are taken, and Channing Tatum (G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra) as Pretty Boy Floyd is only in Public Enemies for five minutes tops-what the big deal with him anyway?  I do, however, wish there had been more of David Wenham (Lord of the Rings) as Harry Pierpont.  The fine ensemble cast is lost amid the obviousness of Depp and Bale.  Pity. Now, it may be old, low budget, and not have nearly as many stars playing cops and robbers; but I actually prefer the 1996 Public Enemies with Theresa Russell as Ma Barker to this flashy caper.  Okay so Dan Cortese (Veronica’s Closet) is Melvin Purvis in that one.  Bale doesn’t really step it up, here, though, does he?  What’s next, Russell Crowe as Al Capone?

The Screaming Skull – I wanted to like this 1958 creeper, but the only risqué things here are some bullet bras and flimsy nightgowns.  There is an audience for this type of hokey old scare, but this one could have been a lot more serious or scary than the final result.  Instead, we resort to Rebecca imitations and the usual, cliché horror staples with lots of screaming and obvious double twists.  The music is also way too absurd and banshee-like, more like the stylings of a Halloween CD than a score.  Maybe I was just expecting too much?  I’m not surprised Mystery Science Theater 3000 had its hands on this one.

The Silver Chalice – Paul Newman is one of my favorite classic leading men.  I simply adore his staples The Hustler and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid as well as some of his smaller pictures like The Young Philadelphians, The Long Hot Summer, and my favorite Hud.  However, one might not know of the longstanding Newman clout that is to come by taking in his debut here.  The semi-biblical production values are similar to other epics of the day, but director Victor Saville (I was a Spy) went for some sort of abstract or stage like designs that just look too SCA or half dressed theatre rehearsal to be a big movie.  The story, delivery, and dialogue also come across as slow and a little too hokey- especially in dealing with the apocryphal magician Simon Magus. The wonderful Jack Palance (Shane, City Slickers) has nothing but ham to do here.  I’m also not a big fan of Virginia Mayo (Captain Horatio Hornblower), having yet to been impressed with her in every show in which I’ve seen her.  Still, I suppose ladies who love the young and pretty Newman can fast forward through the faulty here-even if the man himself disowned this one!  

Twists of Terror – I stumbled upon this 1996 anthology film on cable several times and still can’t decide if I like it or not.  Some of the vignettes are well written, paced and developed fine, and have solid acting from Jennifer Rubin (The Crush) and Nick Mancuso (Mob Stories).  However, the twists come a little too early or are fairly predictable, and the paranoid scenario of crazy host Joseph Ziegler (Black Harbour) introducing us to each tale is just stupid.  For being a saucy cable film, I’d also expect more than the generic sex and gore-but then again, some of the ‘what you don’t see’ is done a-okay.  Am I torn or is this one that bipolar?

When in Rome (2010) – Despite a very likeable cast- including Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars), Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite), Anjelica Huston (The Addams Family), and Danny DeVito (Taxi)- I simply found nothing funny in the 2010 romantic European comedy.  Okay, there was one scene when the itty bitty car fit inside an elevator.  That was it!  I wanted to like the titular Italian charms, but the premise just falls too flat, leaving the cast with nothing much to do.  It almost feels as if director Mark Steven Johnson (Daredevil) and writers David Diamond and David Weissman (The Family Man) are knocking off this overdone Judd Apatow wave- but this one is gonna be for chicks! Supposedly the leading man, Josh Duhamel (Las Vegas) also seems like just another dude in the frat crop.  Sigh.

Actually, it seems my distaste for a few of these is more evident than I thought!  

A Stephen King Viewing List

A Spooky Stephen King Marathon

By Kristin Battestella

For being such a horror buff, I’m not a fan of Stephen King and his books. Stranger still is that I really like films based on his torrid tales. As the macabre season nears, here’s a list of scary King shows to snuggle in with this Halloween.

Carrie- Yes we can all relate to the sheltered, special Sissy Spacek and her demented mother Piper Laurie-both ladies received Oscar nominations for their chilling performances. But its director Brian Depalma’s creepy look at the trauma of high school that stays with us. The gym shower, the prom, the pig’s blood, and an all star supporting cast keep this 1976 flick worthy. Forget any sequels or remakes here.

Christine- The dream of a hot rod gone horribly awry! There are a few past names here-and the film is sometimes billed under director John Carpenter’s clout-but the 1958 Plymouth is the star here. You can still enjoy these creepy car deaths today, and the early eighties motifs and fifties sentimentalities add to the scary nostalgia.

Salem’s Lot (s) - Both the 1979 release from Tobe Hooper and the quickie 2004 version starring Rob Lowe suffice for a night of vampires run amok in a supposedly safe New England inlet. If you’re looking for goth, glamorous vampires-they’re not here; but freaky, old fashioned suspense always works. Comparing both versions back to back might also be fun. Do however skip the useless sequel Return to Salem’s Lot.

The Shining- The recent miniseries adaptation isn’t bad, but you know I’m talking about Stanley Kubrick and Jack Nicholson’s crazy writer stranded at the isolated, snowbound Overlook Hotel. I get tired of all King’s writer protagonists and their hang-ups, but Nicholson owns the alcoholic Jack Torrance and all his drama. Say it with me now, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’

Silver Bullet- Ah, a wheelchair bound Corey Haim insists there’s a werewolf in town but no one believes him! A well-rounded cast and scary wolf mysteries make you jump in your seat the first time you see this one. Several memorable, frightening scenes here still stick with me 25 years later. Younger audiences might be too frightened-but it’s only a movie, isn’t it?

Pet Semetary- Who hasn’t lost a pet or a loved one and wouldn’t do anything to bring them back? Another simple life truth askewed delightfully into freaky charm and horror. The cast here is small but memorable-Dale Midkiff as the desperate father and Fred Gwynne as the wise old neighbor who meets a very bizarre end. And the baby, well, he’s just so dang cute and disturbing at the same time! This is another one that might be too disturbing and confusing for super young ones.

Misery- James Caan and Oscar winner Kathy Bates are exceptional as a wounded writer and the obsessive fan who’ll do anything to keep him writing what she likes best. Another one memorable and disturbing in its simplicity; the gut wrenching thought of an entire manuscript on the barbeque, the masterfully painful two by four scenes, ouch! Known more for his charming comedies and dramas, Rob Reiner spins the creepy human elements here wonderfully.

Sleepwalkers- Often frowned upon as one of the weaker King pictures; I like Brian Krause and Alice Krige as the freaky mother and son cat people lusting after young meat. It’s bizarre, sexy, gory, and all those cats are really creepy! Maybe the effects aren’t exceptional now, but the cat morphing and slick score add some extra scary spice.

Children of the Corn- This original isn’t the best, and the entire series is fairly lowbrow in plot and effects. Nevertheless, all those rustling cornfields, creepy kids, and plant worship go a long way for a Halloween Harvest marathon. Name players come and go despite the low-budget status; and even if you’ve never actually seen all-count ‘em-seven films, you’ve probably heard of ‘He who walks behind the rows.’ I prefer Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest myself. And to think, I grew up on a farm.

Thinner- After killing a gypsy woman with his car, Robert John Burke is cursed to waste away just by the gypsy king’s touch upon his face. The gypsy plots are a bit stereotypical, yes; but this plays into our fears about what creepy curses they might be capable of. The social analysis of weight, dieting, and such stereotypes are all here, along with the freaky deterioration of body, soul, and self. I guess guilt and food do go together.

Rose Red / Diary of Ellen Rimbauer- If Rose Red were a King novel instead of a miniseries original, I might actually read it. This lengthy analysis of the haunted house, ghosts, greed, parapsychology, and telekinesis develops all its effects, scares, and talent fully. Nancy Travis, Julian Sands, and Emily Deschanel are delightfully creepy here. The prequel telefilm Diary of Ellen Rimbauer fills in King’s back-story, but it’s not as scary or in depth as its preceding sequel. Despite its period piece explanations and charming cast, I’d spend the day with Rose Red first.

Secret Window- A little obvious toward the end, yes, but Johnny Depp fans can enjoy this creepy thriller about an unreliable narrator writer shacked up in the woods with a freaky John Turturro pursuing him over a plagiarized story. There’s nothing super new here, but this one’s creepy and violent enough for a scare or two.