Reassessing Repossessed

 

Reassessing Repossessed 

by Kristin Battestella

The Exorcist star Linda Blair is all grown up and, according to our theme song, “re-re-repossessed” in the 1990 head-spinning, pea soup spewing, oft-maligned spoof Repossessed. Priest Leslie Nielsen (Dracula: Dead and Loving It) is on the devilish case, escalating to the Pope saving souls on live television and an infamously low 11% Rotten Tomatoes score – if viewers remember Repossessed at all. With today's cult-like administration practices, however, it's time to reassess how the religious and political satire of the much derided Repossessed may have actually been ahead of its time.

As a kid, Repossessed was one of my VHS staples. 1990 was still very eighties and Reagan-esque, so anything scandalous with tawdry nudity was treasured. When the bimbo in the front row at Father Leslie's lecture is showing too much leg, he asks her to pull down her dress. She of course responses by pulling the top down and letting the bazongas free. Re-watching Repossessed now, there were many more anticipated punchlines and rim shots that still made me laugh – much to the chagrin of my never-seen-it-before husband who was both annoyed at my predictions and didn't find any of it all that funny. Such datedness is indeed much of the problem with Repossessed. Like new viewers who won't understand the Glenn Miller jokes on The Golden Girls, Repossessed is so overly reliant on eighties scandals, headlines, and pop culture moments that you really had to be there to get it. You may think that makes Repossessed bad now, but just think how all today's quip a minute movies will be undiscernible in forty years!

Demure, yuppie housewife Blair (Witchery) who's supposed to have the ideal conservative life is once again possessed by the devil, who discovers that exorcisms on television are the gateway to spreading demons to leaders across the globe thanks to America's sanctimonious floundering over the likes of Jerry Falwell and Jessica Hahn. Telethon cameos from Body by Jake, Jesse Ventura, and more people modern viewers probably won't recognize anchor music montages to “Devil with the Blue Dress On” but, do folks today even know that song? Yes, it's busy and messy, descending into mixed meta, slow chases, and the Pope on guitar. Repossessed does not always succeed in its larger satire comedy thanks to a muddled, stupid finale designed for the MTV generation. Had Repossessed had a more finely tuned script or edit then, maybe it wouldn't have flopped into obscurity. The “Father Mayii” name in itself is hysterically genius to every twelve year old.

Anthony Starke (The Magnificent Seven) is also here as Nielsen's priestly sidekick, and for a time, to me as a precocious kid anyway, it seemed that he'd cornered the market on satirical genre fare thanks to the likewise shrewd Return of the Killer Tomatoes. Blair and Nielsen also seem to be having a great time with the self-referential performances, confronting Blair's horror typecasting while Nielsen lampoons it – like when our priest is caught on camera calling his agent asking how to get out of this. For all the nostalgic eighties floral prints, bright colors, and big hair; Repossessed actually looks good when it comes to the expected Exorcist effects, making one wonder what might have happened if the story was told straight. However, to be so chilling was not Repossessed's intent. Unfortunately, viewing Repossessed again under the orange cloud that is Trump brings the film disturbingly full circle. The devil shall enter in via the perfect housewife! How can he spread evil to the masses? Television!

When Repossessed originally bombed at the box office in the Fall of 1990, Trump was already a well-known, notorious businessman with his Art of the Deal ghostwritten fakery – as parodied in much better in Back to the Future Part II. It wasn't until the 2004 reality show The Apprentice that Trump was re-imagined as savvy cool wealthy business leader who could fire at will. Television had made the now seemingly downright demure scandals of the eighties mocked in Repossessed, and the reality show era likewise capitalized on creating scripted shock value. Now, the daily absurdities and constantly escalating extremes of our current regime make Repossessed perhaps seem even weaker because it doesn't go far enough. We were too innocent then to think you could pretend to be Jesus and piss off the Pope and just get away with it. Our husband and son just want their possessed mom back sans the demonic drama and split pea soup. American families currently suffering the increasing sociopolitical consequences can certainly relate to the desire for normalcy. Devil with a blue dress blue dress blue dress devilwithabluedresson...we impeached a president for lying about a stain on a blue dress but now we let them tear down the East Wing and hawk edited Bibles with Trump's gold seal of approval. Make it make sense!

Even if you don't get all the pop culture puns or televangelist taboos and thus some of the jokes fall flat, there's a lot of Repossessed that's eerily all too familiar thanks to the contemporary political climate. Don't dismiss the comedy performances and social commentary just based on that Rotten Tomato score. Reassess Repossessed and heed the horror comedy parable.

The Golden Palace

 

The Golden Palace Falters Greatly

by Kristin Battestella

The 1992-93 spin-off of The Golden Girls sees sexy southern belle Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan), simple St. Olafian Rose Nylund (Betty White), and sassy Sicilian Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) buy a hotel in The Golden Palace. Don Cheadle (Boogie Nights) as manager Roland Wilson and Cheech Marin (Up in Smoke) as Chef Chuy Castillos also star in this lone twenty-four episode season, but the bevy of guest stars can't overcome the repetitive writing, poor characterizations, and situational upheaval.

The Golden Palace opens where The Golden Girls ends in “Pilot” as our remaining girls sell their house after Bea Arthur's exit as the newly wed Dorothy Zbornak. Instead of the luxury hotel life, however, the lack of staff and in the red books mean the ladies have to work the Palace themselves. The zingers are still there along with the cheeky newcomers, but The Golden Palace is best when everyone is once again around the kitchen table. Solving the dilemmas over cheesecake, unfortunately, is precious and few as The Golden Palace often spends time on the unnecessary rather than the chemistry. In “Ebbtide for the Defense,” our staff has to double up three to a room amid cranky lawyer guests and canceled liability insurance as the girls realize running a hotel is tough. Of course, Bea Arthur returns as Dorothy in the “Seems Like Old Times” two-parter, wanting Sophia to come live with her in a plot already done multiple times on The Golden Girls. The girls having to wait tables themselves could have been done without Dorothy, but she is classy in acerbic perfection with charm and banter as if nothing has changed. The Golden Palace addresses the series transition with great tears and elevated performances when our ladies admit how Dorothy's leaving made them feel unneeded. Dorothy's surprised how hard they work but not afraid to tell off the guests, and The Golden Palace lacks this vigor. Previously, the ladies were socially vital, active with charities and events, but now their lives are stagnant and they hardly go beyond the hotel doors. Christmas Eve isn't divorced Chuy's favorite in “It's Beginning to Look a Lot (Less) Like Christmas.” He's right about excessive gifts, holiday debt, cleaning up after, and the depression of the season but dreams of A Christmas Carol with Rose as a Past angel, Blanche as “Presents,” and a tricked out Future Sophia. While typical, The Golden Palace should have done more of these theatrics and costumes. Blanche suspects guest Harold Gould (Rhoda) as Rose's boyfriend Miles Webber is cheating in “Miles, We Hardly Knew Ye,” and the episode wastes a lot of time before he arrives to tell Rose he has indeed met someone else. Fortunately, we can't hate Nanette Fabray (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) as his intended Fern in “Rose and Fern”– though The Golden Palace misses the opportunity to make Fern a relative like Rose's sisters Lily and Holly or add extra winks about Rhoda's dad marrying Mary's mom. A terse restaurant critic dies after eating Chuy's cooking in “You've Lost That Livin' Feeling,” but news crews and health inspectors are arriving for the hotel's grand re-opening in what feels like a 1993 sweeps reset. Rat poison and a dead body lead to cumulative physical comedy as the body moves from the freezer to a heavy suitcase and the laundry chute before someone ends up in bed with it. This is the first really memorable episode of The Golden Palace, and it should have come much sooner.

Chuy wants to go into business with Sophia's pizza and she does a ceremony to pass down her recipe, but this fine story competes with the titular Ned Beatty (Homicide: Life on the Street) in “Tad.” Blanche's family put away her special needs brother, and the terminology and some of the misunderstandings played for humor come off wrong. However, it's poignant that Rose is able to relate and mend Blanche's being ashamed in an Emmy worthy standout from an otherwise subpar year. Herbert Edelman returns as ex son-in-law Stan Zbornak in “One Angry Stan,” having faked his death over IRS troubles. His video will was tapped over with a bikini fest amid humorous eulogies and choice nods to The Golden Girls in what might have made a fun premiere had the girls inherited the hotel from him. Spring Break, Rose's granddaughter, frat pranks, and a giant burrito aren't the worst in “Sex, Lies, and Tortillas” but the lack of time to focus on the ageism, visual gags, sex, and menopause is indicative of everything wrong this season. Despite fresh scenery attempting to lure new audiences, The Golden Palace is not meant for newcomers. The ladies are never introduced, and Dorothy is repeatedly mentioned without explanation. Presuming nineties audiences to be aware of The Golden Girls' eighties success is simply the wrong point of view, yet the situational comedy falls back on tired punchlines rather than fully utilizing the strong characterizations that made The Golden Girls so memorable. Here it's as if they aren't even allowed to say “Picture it...Sicily” or “Back in St. Olaf...” and the perpetual need for business in “Promotional Considerations” is slow to get to the point. Rose telling Roland to smile and sing “Zip-a-Dee-Do-Dah” is inappropriately played for laughs, and Blanche is angry that he “usurps” her. This second episode could have been the pilot, showing the hotel problems in media res, but the minorities in subservient positions and their charged conflicts are passed off as humor. Sophia once again has a money scheme in “One Old Lady to Go,” using a Chinese restaurant with the same name to sell their takeout as room service while Rose helps a senile guest in crowded Golden Girls repeats. The superfluous A, B, and C busy interferes with serious moments like those that previously earned our ladies Emmys. Often The Golden Palace doesn't know what an episodes is about, and Blanche's romance in “Just a Gigolo” is all offscreen thanks to self-help hotel seminars and Chuy walking on hot coals to overcome his fear. A live comedy radio show at the hotel and Roland's divorcing parents are likewise two plots too big for “Marriage on the Rocks with a Twist.” Carol Burnett alums Harvey Korman and Tim Conway provide practical jokes and wrong transsexual quips poorly repeating both “Till Death Do We Volley” and “Goodbye Mr. Gordon” from The Golden Girls.

Roland's parents are also named George and Louise – as in Jefferson as if they couldn't think of any other names for a Black couple – and Blanche doesn't understand while Roland objects to a Southern Daughters group in “Camp Town Races Aren't Nearly as Much Fun as They used to Be.” He's talking about white sheets but she tells him he's overreacting about the Confederate flag, and while many Golden Palace episodes are weak and repetitive, this episode is downright disturbing. Though produced third, “Runaways” was apparently dumped in January and Roland taking care of a foster child should have been a one and done episode. In rare outdoor footage, Sophia steal's a guest's car and Blanche runs away from her responsibilities in an episode again littered with too many things. Blanche and Rose fight over a man in “Heartbreak Hotel” while Sophia ignores Roland's clear discomfort at a couples seminar in a surprisingly mean spirited entry, and in “Senor Stinky Learns Absolutely Nothing About Life” Blanche is oblivious to her sexual harassment. She has to learn how not to mix business with pleasure even when rival hotelier Ricardo Montalban (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn) comes on to her. It would have been great to see Montalban recur in competitive suave, but the serious issues are down played while a volleyball competition pads time. Blanche's son Bill Engvall (Blue Collar Comedy Tour) and George Burns come for comedy club night, and Chuy wants to enter too in “Say Goodbye, Rose.” The Golden Girls already had Dorothy doing stand up and Bob Hope made a surprise appearance, but Eddie Albert (Green Acres) as a lookalike to Rose's late husband Charlie completes the lifted from The Golden Girls trifecta. Short notice tickets to be on The Price is Right in “A New Leash on Life” are also reminiscent of “Grab That Dough” on The Golden Girls. We do get to leave the hotel briefly, but the race track and greyhounds are told more than seen in too many serious storylines that don't get their due. Sophia needing a vacation and Roland potentially leaving for a bigger hotel makes “Pros and Concierge” seem like a good finale. It's only the third time they leave the hotel, too, and filler misunderstandings leave Roland humiliated and wearing a safari outfit because Blanche thought she was doing good. Blanche is also suddenly serious about a wealthy cattle baron who proposes and wants kids in “The Chicken and The Egg.” Debra Engle returns as Blanche's daughter Rebecca, but the heavy conversation about asking her for an egg is off camera thanks to an old ladies self-defense class subplot, and the dream sequence with everyone having giant pregnancy bellies is downright stupid.

Rue McClanahan's Blanche is wistful about all the many men her old bed had seen and wants to advertise the hotel by using her picture. Mama told her sex was a women's duty and she's been a good little soldier ever since. Chuy counters that Blanche is a five star general to be saluted, but her spicy reputation is told rather than seen on The Golden Palace. Although she was always the selfish work shy one on The Golden Girls, Blanche becomes increasingly unlikable when Roland accurately says she passes all the hotel problems onto someone else. She uses petty cash to buy a new dress and marks the ledger with “whoops” when she loses money with no realization or consequence. Blanche fires others and won't take blame for making the initial bad hotel deal before admitting she never thought this business would be so tough. Rather than her previous vivacious, she chases the pool hunk and gets taken by a gigolo – now a foolish, horny old lady in unnecessary character sabotage. Betty White's dimwitted Rose thinks the 2-4 years on a puzzle is the time for completion. Since The Golden Girls, she's begun shaving above the knee, bought a new teddy bear, and confesses she stole candy once. Rose stands up for herself multiple times but strengthening the character becomes one step forward two steps back when The Golden Palace reverts Rose to extreme stupidity. Her St. Olaf stories are also oft told of yet never actually told. It's unfair that she does all the labor for forty-two rooms, her relationship with Miles deserved better attention, and the animal welfare statements when she steals a dog scheduled to be put down are lost in the hectic plotting. Estelle Getty as Sophia does all the Italian cooking but turns over the meat and re-serves it to an angry customer who sent it back. She plays poker with Chuy and her purse contains bingo cards, brass knuckles, and 101 Jokes for the John. Sophia doesn't get a real plot of her own save for Dorothy's return, and she spends most of that off screen as if The Golden Palace doesn't know what to do with her sans her daughter. The new Shady Pines home has more amenities than the hotel, but Sophia wants to remain busy. At 88 she isn't ready to slow down yet nods off while vacuuming and flirts by offering men a raisin – because it's something wrinkly yet so tasty. Sophia walks through the lobby with a “tramp” or “slut” punchline as needed, however her softball sexual harassment isn't funny, and the trying to be cute to get out of doing something bad wears thin.

Manager Don Cheadle wants to get in good with the new owners but makes the mistake of asking Blanche if she has ever spent any time in hotels before owning one. He's well read and tries passing off arguments in the lobby as The Golden Palace Players Living Theater. Roland won't squish bugs and refuses to stick his hand in the chicken when he has to help in the kitchen. The girls want him to date more in “Can't Stand Losing You,” but it's stereotypical that Sophia thinks he's gay and racist that Blanche tries to set him up with the meat lady just because they are both Black. Roland is right that Blanche's stories of the South, St. Olaf tales, and Sicilian quips don't always help. This is a stronger episode letting the players shine as the family they are, but The Golden Palace is overcrowded and it's unfair to Cheadle and Cheech Marin as Chuy. There should have been more subversive references to his pot brownies! Chuy objects to Sophia in his kitchen criticizing his fine Mexican cuisine, for he believes any mistake can be covered with parsley. Unfortunately, his cooking spot on a morning talk show is all off camera. Chuy's struggles with being divorced also take a backseat to other stories, and the men often have B plots separate from the women as if The Golden Palace is two sitcoms put together. Young Billy Sullivan as (Little Big League) Roland's foster son Oliver is obnoxious from the start, doing hotel chores that make viewers wonder about child labor laws and extorting customers before Sophia blackmails him in a strangely cruel scheme. Though written off early, out of order episodes string him along throughout the season, an unnecessary eighties sitcom holdover unwelcome by 1992. The ugly pink and green décor is likewise dated with too much wicker and the same kitchen table from The Golden Girls as if we aren't supposed to notice. Even the mugs are the same! Blanche's rearranged room is clearly her original bedroom complete with the palm tree comforter, and the entire hotel set is an awkward, wasted space. People must walk passed the television in the lobby or around a piano, stairs, and the elevator as needed, and the small, in between dining room magically transforms into a full stage auditorium for George Burns. The private office beside the reception desk changes sides while tables and umbrellas in the front courtyard are rarely used compared to the back courtyard – clearly a lanai redress – which becomes a fake beach for volleyball. Having had the ladies wear uniforms suited to their individual styles or at least name tags to indicate they are staff may have hit home the hotel setting better, and the friendship lyrics on the updated theme song ultimately make little sense for The Golden Palace.

Reviewing The Golden Palace is disappointing and frustrating. There's a lot to criticize yet it's easy to zone out on the run of the mill comedy that leaves much to be desired. Why didn't they remain in the house but have one of the girls work in a hotel or buy Blanche's previous haunt The Rusty Anchor to have more musical moments? One has to wonder why The Golden Girls didn't just continue with another roommate culled from the series such as Debbie Reynolds' sassy widow Truby, any of the girls' sisters, Coco the gay cook, or even communist cousin Magda. The unprepared writers proceed as if having our remaining ladies repeating Newhart would be as successful as its groundbreaking predecessor, but The Golden Palace over relies on old connections yet changes too much. One person left so the only solution was to retool the entire show? Rather than making one cast change as seamless as possible, The Golden Palace erroneously expects The Golden Girls audience to remain despite a rocky upheaval that doesn't know how to focus on its ensemble.

Homicide: Life on The Street, Season 4

Homicide Season 4 Still Great

By Kristin Battestella

Always a critical darling but never a ratings winner, Homicide: Life on the Street survived for seven seasons on NBC. After Emmy success and high profile guest stars in its shortened first three seasons, Homicide’s studio executives insisted on changes in an attempt to grab ratings. Even with studio interference, Season 4 of Homicide is still top notch.

Homicide’s iconic jump-cutting, gritty styles and great music continue in the Season 4’s two part opener, “Fire”. Storylines and issues presented here leave their touch throughout the entire season. New hot head Detective Mike Kellerman (Reed Diamond) joins the Homicide unit after butting heads with Frank Pembleton (Andre Braugher)-who confides in his partner Tim Bayliss (Kyle Secor) that his wife is pregnant. Gone are Detectives Stan Bolander and Beau Felton (Ned Beatty, Daniel Baldwin). After off season shenanigans, both are conveniently suspended for the length of the season. Now partnerless, John Munch (Richard Belzer) and Kay Howard (Melissa Leo) compete in taking the Sergeant’s exam. Captain Megan Russert (Isabella Hofmann) is still dealing with the politics of her promotion, as is Shift Commander Gee (Yaphet Kotto).

It seems like a lot I know, and it’s tough to summarize Homicide’s complexities without giving everything away. Some purists dislike Kellerman’s introduction to the series and the poor handling of Megan Russert, but each have their it moments this season. Kellerman is presented as a studio induced pretty combination of Felton and Bolander. He’s divorced but still in love with his ex, sometimes juvenile-admitting he dreams of Bugs Bunny. Kellerman acts like he’s a frat boy on the outside, declaring “Fun is my God”, yet he can’t quit smoking and eventually shares some of his issues with new partner Meldrick Lewis (Clark Johnson). Lewis, of course, is still getting over Crosetti’s suicide.

One of Homicide’s strengths is it’s lack of one off stories or stand alone episodes. Crosetti, Russert’s affair with Felton, these issues from Season 3 aren’t forgotten. Season 4 does lose a touch of the show’s early ensemble feel. Instead we begin the focus of pairings and partnerships. Munch suffers the most from this. Without Bolander, his comedic wit and banter suffer, but this Munch is still superior than his touch and go appearances currently seen (or not seen) on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Of course, Homicide staples Pembleton and Bayliss have their share of stand out episodes and bonding experiences.

Of course, when any show takes the cast change plunge, it can make or break a series. Homicide could not maintain the edgy work it does without its exceptional cast. Braugher (Glory) is in Emmy form again, particularly in the special two part crossover with Law and Order. Although her role is slightly reduced on the show, Melissa Leo continues to bring new dimensions to the already unconventional Howard. Yaphet Kotto brings more light to oft passed over Lieutenant Giardello, and most surprising of all is perhaps Clark Johnson as Detective Lewis. His family life, potential problems with women as authority, and relationship with Kellerman becomes in some ways the heart of the series. As much as some early fans love the Lewis and Crosetti pairing, there simply wasn’t enough of it when compared to the amount of time and issues that spring from Meldrick and “Detective Mikey”.

Not to be outdone, the standout episodes of Homicide this season still belong to Pembleton and Bayliss. Although guest star Marcia Gay Harden is the focus of the fourth episode “A Doll’s Eyes”, Homicide’s signature detectives are caught in a family’s difficult decision of what to do when their son is shot and left brain dead. Although he lost his faith in season 3, Pembleton’s religious conflicts are still very much at the forefront. Braugher and the Homicide writing team know when to give the perfect dialogue -“God wasn’t returning calls that day” (in the “For God and Country” L&O crossover) or just let the image speak for itself-like when Pembleton sneaks into a back room to watch the Pope visit Baltimore. Tim Bayliss is also never without issue. Kyle Secor walks a tough line between being over dramatic and just right for the sensitive detective. He revisits his unsolved first case in “Requiem for Adena” and debates his homophobic issues in “Hate Crimes”.

Homicide never seems like a special sweeps episode even though each hour tackles real life issues and touchy subjects. The pop score and musical montages never seem out of place in such a rugged, yet sensitive show. It’s 1995 and Homicide is talking about gay bashing and immigration problems, work politics, and race relations. Homicide is ingenious in its play on ‘it’s not an issue, but it is.’ Pembleton’s declaration in “Hate Crimes” is that ‘We learn how to hate.’ It’s very true, nearly a fact, actually. Everyone knows it, but nobody actually says it. Some much dialogue on Homicide is like a revelation. Writer David Simon and producer James Yoshimura’s work is fascinating in contrast with tales of studio memos telling them there are too many black actors onscreen at once.

Unfortunately, Homicide: Life on the Street DVDs are nearly devoid of special features. The case file interface is cool, but audio commentaries and behind the scenes shorts are few and far between. The extras are no less insightful-I just wish there were more. Another hardship is the lack of subtitles as well. Such crisp dialogue should be there for all to see. It’s so refreshing to hear such tight and life like yet makes-you-think writing on a television show.

I know I’ve probably meandered more than a review should here, but it is impossible to capture everything about a season of Homicide in so little. Even in reviewing episodes one at a time, I doubt a viewer could keep track of all the references, subtext, comparisons and characterizations. I can barely keep track of Kellerman’s bad ties and his penchant for eating in every single episode. It’s quirky things like this that fascinate me. Even bottle type episodes leave their mark on Homicide. You really learn to know and love everyone on the show, the squad room, Baltimore itself. One of the things that initially attracted me to the show was its real city look. I’ve been to Baltimore many times. I live near crime ridden and downtrodden cities like Camden and Philadelphia. It surprises me to know Homicide reruns are popular in Europe. Maybe they don’t understand the absurdity of deliberately overturning a truck on North 95, but the people and emotions presented ring true for any culture.

Although I don’t think kids can understand all of its subtleness, Homicide is an intelligent option for tween viewing. The show helped break a lot of television barriers, and unfortunately controversies like mild language, drug use, and violence are now nothing new to younger demographics. After finding a lot of Homicide fans online, I learned many of them are educators or students who use episodes in their lectures and thesis-although its tough to pick just one episode out of so many great ones.

The education and experience of watching Homicide: Life on the Street cannot be found on television today. A cop show about the cops. Eureka! If you’re a fan of The Shield, SVU, The Wire, or any other cop show, Homicide has to be witnessed. The complete mega set and later seasons can be pricey, but look for sales or used editions of the first Season 1 and 2 set. Against network odds and pressures then and now, season four of Homicide: Life on the Street is still better than anything on television today. Strike or no strike.