The Golden Palace

 

The Golden Palace Falters Greatly

by Kristin Battestella

The 1992-93 spin-off of The Golden Girls sees sexy southern belle Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan), simple St. Olafian Rose Nylund (Betty White), and sassy Sicilian Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) buy a hotel in The Golden Palace. Don Cheadle (Boogie Nights) as manager Roland Wilson and Cheech Marin (Up in Smoke) as Chef Chuy Castillos also star in this lone twenty-four episode season, but the bevy of guest stars can't overcome the repetitive writing, poor characterizations, and situational upheaval.

The Golden Palace opens where The Golden Girls ends in “Pilot” as our remaining girls sell their house after Bea Arthur's exit as the newly wed Dorothy Zbornak. Instead of the luxury hotel life, however, the lack of staff and in the red books mean the ladies have to work the Palace themselves. The zingers are still there along with the cheeky newcomers, but The Golden Palace is best when everyone is once again around the kitchen table. Solving the dilemmas over cheesecake, unfortunately, is precious and few as The Golden Palace often spends time on the unnecessary rather than the chemistry. In “Ebbtide for the Defense,” our staff has to double up three to a room amid cranky lawyer guests and canceled liability insurance as the girls realize running a hotel is tough. Of course, Bea Arthur returns as Dorothy in the “Seems Like Old Times” two-parter, wanting Sophia to come live with her in a plot already done multiple times on The Golden Girls. The girls having to wait tables themselves could have been done without Dorothy, but she is classy in acerbic perfection with charm and banter as if nothing has changed. The Golden Palace addresses the series transition with great tears and elevated performances when our ladies admit how Dorothy's leaving made them feel unneeded. Dorothy's surprised how hard they work but not afraid to tell off the guests, and The Golden Palace lacks this vigor. Previously, the ladies were socially vital, active with charities and events, but now their lives are stagnant and they hardly go beyond the hotel doors. Christmas Eve isn't divorced Chuy's favorite in “It's Beginning to Look a Lot (Less) Like Christmas.” He's right about excessive gifts, holiday debt, cleaning up after, and the depression of the season but dreams of A Christmas Carol with Rose as a Past angel, Blanche as “Presents,” and a tricked out Future Sophia. While typical, The Golden Palace should have done more of these theatrics and costumes. Blanche suspects guest Harold Gould (Rhoda) as Rose's boyfriend Miles Webber is cheating in “Miles, We Hardly Knew Ye,” and the episode wastes a lot of time before he arrives to tell Rose he has indeed met someone else. Fortunately, we can't hate Nanette Fabray (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) as his intended Fern in “Rose and Fern”– though The Golden Palace misses the opportunity to make Fern a relative like Rose's sisters Lily and Holly or add extra winks about Rhoda's dad marrying Mary's mom. A terse restaurant critic dies after eating Chuy's cooking in “You've Lost That Livin' Feeling,” but news crews and health inspectors are arriving for the hotel's grand re-opening in what feels like a 1993 sweeps reset. Rat poison and a dead body lead to cumulative physical comedy as the body moves from the freezer to a heavy suitcase and the laundry chute before someone ends up in bed with it. This is the first really memorable episode of The Golden Palace, and it should have come much sooner.

Chuy wants to go into business with Sophia's pizza and she does a ceremony to pass down her recipe, but this fine story competes with the titular Ned Beatty (Homicide: Life on the Street) in “Tad.” Blanche's family put away her special needs brother, and the terminology and some of the misunderstandings played for humor come off wrong. However, it's poignant that Rose is able to relate and mend Blanche's being ashamed in an Emmy worthy standout from an otherwise subpar year. Herbert Edelman returns as ex son-in-law Stan Zbornak in “One Angry Stan,” having faked his death over IRS troubles. His video will was tapped over with a bikini fest amid humorous eulogies and choice nods to The Golden Girls in what might have made a fun premiere had the girls inherited the hotel from him. Spring Break, Rose's granddaughter, frat pranks, and a giant burrito aren't the worst in “Sex, Lies, and Tortillas” but the lack of time to focus on the ageism, visual gags, sex, and menopause is indicative of everything wrong this season. Despite fresh scenery attempting to lure new audiences, The Golden Palace is not meant for newcomers. The ladies are never introduced, and Dorothy is repeatedly mentioned without explanation. Presuming nineties audiences to be aware of The Golden Girls' eighties success is simply the wrong point of view, yet the situational comedy falls back on tired punchlines rather than fully utilizing the strong characterizations that made The Golden Girls so memorable. Here it's as if they aren't even allowed to say “Picture it...Sicily” or “Back in St. Olaf...” and the perpetual need for business in “Promotional Considerations” is slow to get to the point. Rose telling Roland to smile and sing “Zip-a-Dee-Do-Dah” is inappropriately played for laughs, and Blanche is angry that he “usurps” her. This second episode could have been the pilot, showing the hotel problems in media res, but the minorities in subservient positions and their charged conflicts are passed off as humor. Sophia once again has a money scheme in “One Old Lady to Go,” using a Chinese restaurant with the same name to sell their takeout as room service while Rose helps a senile guest in crowded Golden Girls repeats. The superfluous A, B, and C busy interferes with serious moments like those that previously earned our ladies Emmys. Often The Golden Palace doesn't know what an episodes is about, and Blanche's romance in “Just a Gigolo” is all offscreen thanks to self-help hotel seminars and Chuy walking on hot coals to overcome his fear. A live comedy radio show at the hotel and Roland's divorcing parents are likewise two plots too big for “Marriage on the Rocks with a Twist.” Carol Burnett alums Harvey Korman and Tim Conway provide practical jokes and wrong transsexual quips poorly repeating both “Till Death Do We Volley” and “Goodbye Mr. Gordon” from The Golden Girls.

Roland's parents are also named George and Louise – as in Jefferson as if they couldn't think of any other names for a Black couple – and Blanche doesn't understand while Roland objects to a Southern Daughters group in “Camp Town Races Aren't Nearly as Much Fun as They used to Be.” He's talking about white sheets but she tells him he's overreacting about the Confederate flag, and while many Golden Palace episodes are weak and repetitive, this episode is downright disturbing. Though produced third, “Runaways” was apparently dumped in January and Roland taking care of a foster child should have been a one and done episode. In rare outdoor footage, Sophia steal's a guest's car and Blanche runs away from her responsibilities in an episode again littered with too many things. Blanche and Rose fight over a man in “Heartbreak Hotel” while Sophia ignores Roland's clear discomfort at a couples seminar in a surprisingly mean spirited entry, and in “Senor Stinky Learns Absolutely Nothing About Life” Blanche is oblivious to her sexual harassment. She has to learn how not to mix business with pleasure even when rival hotelier Ricardo Montalban (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn) comes on to her. It would have been great to see Montalban recur in competitive suave, but the serious issues are down played while a volleyball competition pads time. Blanche's son Bill Engvall (Blue Collar Comedy Tour) and George Burns come for comedy club night, and Chuy wants to enter too in “Say Goodbye, Rose.” The Golden Girls already had Dorothy doing stand up and Bob Hope made a surprise appearance, but Eddie Albert (Green Acres) as a lookalike to Rose's late husband Charlie completes the lifted from The Golden Girls trifecta. Short notice tickets to be on The Price is Right in “A New Leash on Life” are also reminiscent of “Grab That Dough” on The Golden Girls. We do get to leave the hotel briefly, but the race track and greyhounds are told more than seen in too many serious storylines that don't get their due. Sophia needing a vacation and Roland potentially leaving for a bigger hotel makes “Pros and Concierge” seem like a good finale. It's only the third time they leave the hotel, too, and filler misunderstandings leave Roland humiliated and wearing a safari outfit because Blanche thought she was doing good. Blanche is also suddenly serious about a wealthy cattle baron who proposes and wants kids in “The Chicken and The Egg.” Debra Engle returns as Blanche's daughter Rebecca, but the heavy conversation about asking her for an egg is off camera thanks to an old ladies self-defense class subplot, and the dream sequence with everyone having giant pregnancy bellies is downright stupid.

Rue McClanahan's Blanche is wistful about all the many men her old bed had seen and wants to advertise the hotel by using her picture. Mama told her sex was a women's duty and she's been a good little soldier ever since. Chuy counters that Blanche is a five star general to be saluted, but her spicy reputation is told rather than seen on The Golden Palace. Although she was always the selfish work shy one on The Golden Girls, Blanche becomes increasingly unlikable when Roland accurately says she passes all the hotel problems onto someone else. She uses petty cash to buy a new dress and marks the ledger with “whoops” when she loses money with no realization or consequence. Blanche fires others and won't take blame for making the initial bad hotel deal before admitting she never thought this business would be so tough. Rather than her previous vivacious, she chases the pool hunk and gets taken by a gigolo – now a foolish, horny old lady in unnecessary character sabotage. Betty White's dimwitted Rose thinks the 2-4 years on a puzzle is the time for completion. Since The Golden Girls, she's begun shaving above the knee, bought a new teddy bear, and confesses she stole candy once. Rose stands up for herself multiple times but strengthening the character becomes one step forward two steps back when The Golden Palace reverts Rose to extreme stupidity. Her St. Olaf stories are also oft told of yet never actually told. It's unfair that she does all the labor for forty-two rooms, her relationship with Miles deserved better attention, and the animal welfare statements when she steals a dog scheduled to be put down are lost in the hectic plotting. Estelle Getty as Sophia does all the Italian cooking but turns over the meat and re-serves it to an angry customer who sent it back. She plays poker with Chuy and her purse contains bingo cards, brass knuckles, and 101 Jokes for the John. Sophia doesn't get a real plot of her own save for Dorothy's return, and she spends most of that off screen as if The Golden Palace doesn't know what to do with her sans her daughter. The new Shady Pines home has more amenities than the hotel, but Sophia wants to remain busy. At 88 she isn't ready to slow down yet nods off while vacuuming and flirts by offering men a raisin – because it's something wrinkly yet so tasty. Sophia walks through the lobby with a “tramp” or “slut” punchline as needed, however her softball sexual harassment isn't funny, and the trying to be cute to get out of doing something bad wears thin.

Manager Don Cheadle wants to get in good with the new owners but makes the mistake of asking Blanche if she has ever spent any time in hotels before owning one. He's well read and tries passing off arguments in the lobby as The Golden Palace Players Living Theater. Roland won't squish bugs and refuses to stick his hand in the chicken when he has to help in the kitchen. The girls want him to date more in “Can't Stand Losing You,” but it's stereotypical that Sophia thinks he's gay and racist that Blanche tries to set him up with the meat lady just because they are both Black. Roland is right that Blanche's stories of the South, St. Olaf tales, and Sicilian quips don't always help. This is a stronger episode letting the players shine as the family they are, but The Golden Palace is overcrowded and it's unfair to Cheadle and Cheech Marin as Chuy. There should have been more subversive references to his pot brownies! Chuy objects to Sophia in his kitchen criticizing his fine Mexican cuisine, for he believes any mistake can be covered with parsley. Unfortunately, his cooking spot on a morning talk show is all off camera. Chuy's struggles with being divorced also take a backseat to other stories, and the men often have B plots separate from the women as if The Golden Palace is two sitcoms put together. Young Billy Sullivan as (Little Big League) Roland's foster son Oliver is obnoxious from the start, doing hotel chores that make viewers wonder about child labor laws and extorting customers before Sophia blackmails him in a strangely cruel scheme. Though written off early, out of order episodes string him along throughout the season, an unnecessary eighties sitcom holdover unwelcome by 1992. The ugly pink and green décor is likewise dated with too much wicker and the same kitchen table from The Golden Girls as if we aren't supposed to notice. Even the mugs are the same! Blanche's rearranged room is clearly her original bedroom complete with the palm tree comforter, and the entire hotel set is an awkward, wasted space. People must walk passed the television in the lobby or around a piano, stairs, and the elevator as needed, and the small, in between dining room magically transforms into a full stage auditorium for George Burns. The private office beside the reception desk changes sides while tables and umbrellas in the front courtyard are rarely used compared to the back courtyard – clearly a lanai redress – which becomes a fake beach for volleyball. Having had the ladies wear uniforms suited to their individual styles or at least name tags to indicate they are staff may have hit home the hotel setting better, and the friendship lyrics on the updated theme song ultimately make little sense for The Golden Palace.

Reviewing The Golden Palace is disappointing and frustrating. There's a lot to criticize yet it's easy to zone out on the run of the mill comedy that leaves much to be desired. Why didn't they remain in the house but have one of the girls work in a hotel or buy Blanche's previous haunt The Rusty Anchor to have more musical moments? One has to wonder why The Golden Girls didn't just continue with another roommate culled from the series such as Debbie Reynolds' sassy widow Truby, any of the girls' sisters, Coco the gay cook, or even communist cousin Magda. The unprepared writers proceed as if having our remaining ladies repeating Newhart would be as successful as its groundbreaking predecessor, but The Golden Palace over relies on old connections yet changes too much. One person left so the only solution was to retool the entire show? Rather than making one cast change as seamless as possible, The Golden Palace erroneously expects The Golden Girls audience to remain despite a rocky upheaval that doesn't know how to focus on its ensemble.