Yet More 70s and 80s Horror!

More Horror from Decades Yore!

By Kristin Battestella

Low budget, bad, so bad they are good, or downright scary and entertaining – here’s a quick selection of good, bad, ugly, and macabre from those glorious seventies and eighties of yesteryear. 


 

Dracula (1979) – Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon) takes the Bram Stoker mantle for this update co-starring Laurence Olivier (hello) and Donald Pleasence (Halloween). The streamlined action gets right to it with the turbulent bound for London Demeter, and there are further changes from the 1924 play adaptation – including a Lucy Steward and Mina Van Helsing switcharoo. The howls, thunder, sound effects, and mood music by John Williams (Star Wars) match all the horror visuals, gore and ghouls, transfusions, transformations, chases, fog, and lightshow graphics perfectly.  Not the usual Victorian as expected, the costumes and early cars are an Edwardian treat, and it’s quite nifty to see the traditionally Transylvania happenings take place in Britain instead. Unfortunately, the drab, dark, and surprising not colorful picture might make viewers today dismiss this as old and cheap. I understand the antique black and white-esque designs director John Badham (Saturday Night Fever) was attempting – and the patina does look nice.  However, one expects a certain amount of grandeur with these otherwise wonderful art and set dressings.  Some scenes are too flat and plain when they should have visual depth and be treats for the eye. Thankfully, the action, scares, and a decrepit Carfax Abbey work. The camerawork is creepy, with hypnotic zooms and suspense editing, too. Also of the stage revival, Langella, ironically, has the least accent of anybody. The other Brit cast seems to have a put on classic RP, but his delivery isn’t the clichéd Velcome one may expect. The suave Langella commands your attention nonetheless, and unlike today’s all action or teen dream vamps, the romance and predator balance here is just right. His charisma and the adaptation twists keep us tuned in to whatever new sensuous but oh so wrong treats will unfold next. By contrast, the ill Olivier is somewhat off. It’s amusing to see such a classy actor do horror, yes, but he’s more Velcome put on than Dracula.  He reminds me of the Dracula: Dead and Loving It spoof! I wish there was a new blu-ray release with both this devoid and a colors galore version, and the changes here might displease traditional Stoker fans. Nevertheless, there’s still enough gothic, stylized, and fast-paced drama to make this one worth a gander.

Dolls (1987) – The demented little music and titular creepy, absently staring disembodied heads are immediately effective in this 1987 eerie from director Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator). The British style is also bemusing, with bad English punk chicks and yuppie Dynasty then-sophisticates creating a lovely little ensemble accented by askew filming angles and individual agendas.  I know it all seems corny and passé, but the suspiciously broken down car on stormy night outside a spooky manor with a creepy kid, peculiar old people, and a wicked toy or two premise and gothic atmosphere more than make up for any datedness. Great candlelight, maze like interiors, and antique décor forgives any bad effects and doll animations – which are actually quite good considering the era. The seemingly obvious killer dolls may be cliché, granted, however, the unseen camera perspectives and slow reveal on who or what is doing all the slice and dice violence keeps the suspense and scary just this side of campy. I can see how some of today’s drinking game horror audiences could find this wonderfully humorous, and some scenes are indeed funny and charming, yet the witty and freaky morals are balanced wonderfully. Some viewers may also feel this is merely a supersized Tales from the Crypt episode. After all, there have been similar anthology tellings – Tales from the Hood immediately comes to mind, but more recently Dead Silence and of course, Chucky. Fortunately, at only 77 minutes, the spooky pace and fearful timing are just right here.  

Prince of Darkness – Director John Carpenter reunites with Donald Pleasence (Halloween) and Victor Wong (Big Trouble in Little China) for this 1987 companion piece to The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness, and his pulsing score adds to the freaky atmosphere. Although some of the eighties hair, big mustache hipness, and thirty something college feeling has not stood the test of time, other old technologies and the abandoned church designs are nostalgia cool. The foreboding religious implications and science secrets are also a fine premise, but there’s not a lot of dialogue to start and perhaps too much time is taken to clarify all the metaphysical and theoretical backtalk. Unfortunately, the younger cast delivering the supposedly heavy or likeability is as stiff as their Aqua Net – the forced romancey or hip scenes drag down the picture. I can’t believe that’s Jameson Parker from Simon & Simon!  Rocker Alice Cooper, thankfully, is duly disturbing, and Carpenter has left a few Hammer references and hints to his other films amid the creepy crawlies, evil slime, and sinister symbolism.  There are a few good scare moments and a great ending to set off the underlying ominous, yet this one feels as if it should be better than it is thanks to the slow pace filled with too many characters and poor intercutting.  Even if this one isn’t quite up to what one expects from Carpenter, it’s still a fun watch for enthusiasts on a late night.  

Watchers – An adorable, super smart, pc using dog you can’t help but love and so wish you could have stars alongside Michael Ironside (Total Recall) and the late Corey Haim in this 1988 teen horror chase based partly on the Dean Kootz novel and produced by Roger Corman (The Pit and the Pendulum). Thanks to a secret government science experiment gone awry, an evil monster is on the loose, too, and the vintage news reports and huge old equipment are also fun to see. Although, wow, Haim’s hair is bad, the early make out session is stupid, and the dark farm scares are a little slow to start; the steady variety of kills, frantic mash ups, and point of view editing heighten the scary build. Our monster isn’t revealed with a big CGI panoramic swoop or needlessly cool graphics, and screams, sound effects, and growls add to the rural location fears. It’s nice to see an ungraded or color tweaked picture and the photography adds to the old scares. However, the dated fashions and presentation make this one seem more juvenile than it probably is – a pink wearing, mulleted Jason Priestly (Beverly Hills 90210) calling a computer class teacher a dweeb from atop his BMX, yeah. Likewise, it’s funny to see Haim talking to a dog, because we’ve see him break the fourth wall in classics like Dream a Little Dream and License to Drive sans four legged pals. Though Barbara Williams (Thief of Hearts) is woefully unbelievable and Ironside may seem hokey, he delivers his expected badass.  The writer’s strike and behind the scenes troubles are apparent in the iffy dialogue, but there’s enough twists and entertainment here and in the 1990 direct to video sequel starring Marc Singer and Tracy Scoggins for slightly older tweens or family horror nights.

Now Here’s a Skipper!

The Devil’s Rain – William Shatner, Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerrit, Ida Lupino, and John Travolta star in this somewhat infamous 1975 horror clunker. Things begin well and good with creepy music, eerie paintings, and lots of moans and groans over the main credits. There are scary storms, fearful ladies, and the Satanist dilemma gets on its way quickly enough. Unfortunately, bad makeup begets seriously corny gore effects; the picture is often too dark, and the sound is poor. One might like to call this a horror western due to the setting, but the dusty middle of nowhere just looks old and cheap boonies seventies instead. Unnecessary camera shots of movement from one place to another and slow, confusing scenes where nothing happens don’t help, either. Snails pacing is not foreboding, and the iffy mystery at hand amounts to a lot of double talk and threats but no real explanation. Poor editing between the storylines, visions, and shock photography are literally little more than a flash in the pan in attempt to shake up what seems like a convoluted, overlong episode of a bad horror anthology.  The creepy rituals and black masses are perhaps too realistic, granted. However, segments that should be scary aren’t because the audience is too busy figuring out what the heck is going on.  Can I get an exposition, people! The Puritan flashback might have been more interesting as the whole movie, but otherwise, one should only tune in for the cast amusements. This is just too nonsensical for anything else.  

X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class Educates and Then Some

By Kristin Battestella

I have been waiting for X-Men: First Class for sometime indeed.  After the likes of the less than stellar Fantastic Four update and the dismal SyFy Channel attempt at The Phantom (A teen on a purple motorcycle is the best you can come up with for that franchise, really?), my expectations were exceeded by director Matthew Vaughn’s refreshingly simple concept to, as Artie Shaw would say, ‘Begin the Beguine’.

The Story

In 1944, Erik Lehnsherr (Bill Milner) witnesses Nazi scientist Klaus Schmidt’s (Kevin Bacon) torture firsthand thanks to his unique ability to manipulate metal. Young and privileged Charles Xavier (Laurence Belcher, later James McAvoy), however, takes in the scaled and blue mutant Raven (Morgan Lily, then Jennifer Lawrence) and by 1962, grows up to become a prominent scholar on mutations.  Erik (now Michael Fassbender) travels the globe in search of those who destroyed his family, ruthlessly cutting a swath towards Schmidt- who now goes by the name Sebastian Shaw.  Shaw and his fellow mutants Emma Frost (January Jones) and Azazel (Jason Flemyng) play both American plots and Russian plans against each other in hopes of starting nuclear war- and CIA agent Moira MacTaggert (Rose Byrne) needs Xavier’s help to catch them.  Xavier and mutant genius Hank McCoy (Nicholas Holt) use Cerebro to locate other mutants including Alex Summers (Lucas Till) and Sean Cassidy (Caleb Landry Jones). Charles also convinces Erik to join the team, although the latter is only interested in his personal vengeance quest.  During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the CIA turns to Xavier and his mutants to defeat Shaw, but Erik is convinced the innate fear of mankind against mutants will be their undoing.

Why do we have this thick, self-centered, and ever repeating notion of taking fifty years of comic books- or any literary or media franchise for that matter- and changing them to make it supposedly more relevant to our fleetingly contemporary minds and styles?  Producer Bryan Singer (director of X-Men and X-2: X-Men United) and director Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) smartly go back to the times and places where the X-Men comics began and create a unique, vibrant, and no less relatable tale. Writers Jane Goldman (of Stardust and Kick Ass also with Vaughn), Zach Stentz and Ashley Edward Miller (Andromeda, Thor), and Sheldon Turner (Up in the Air) craft a timeless story of friendship, belonging, and fracture wrapped with retro design and would be behind the scenes history.  Action and modern witticisms are not at the forefront here, characters and the plot at hand are.  This switcharoo away from what we are accustomed is all the more refreshing because it works so well. Overall, the dialogue is properly rooted in the sixties with fine, intelligent debates.  Some may be surprised at the slower and quieter moments here thanks to this focus on the personal, but the pace of X-Men: First Class is just right, a natural progression and build up of players and events.  What needs to happen happens, leading up to everything viewers of the first films and readers of the comics already know.  Even with such built in awareness, there is still room for surprises, tension, suspense, and suspension of disbelief. Hello, even knowing how the Cuban Missile Crisis plays out, I was still holding my breath at First Class’ outcome.  That’s impressive!

The Stars

I’m a little upset about the claims that there are no true stars and big names in X-Men: First Class. How is one to become a star but by stealing the show in a film like this? And who is it that has the viewers holding their breaths and unable to blink when he is onscreen? Why Michael Fassbender and his young Magneto, of course.  (All of you who thought I was nuts for praising his work at last understand what I mean- the lady behind me in the theater shouting ‘Dayumn!’ every time he did something sure caught on quick!) As the vengeful and reluctant dark horse on Xavier’s team, Fassbender (300, Hunger, Fish Tank, Inglorious Basterds, Jane Eyre) excels with a wildcard abandon for languages, action, anger, rage, tears, and vulnerability. Even knowing the villain he is to become, we can’t help but understand where Erik’s ideologies come from and see that his wary theories on human error aren’t that far from the truth.  Again, those are the best kinds of bad guys- the ones self justified in what they do.  We want Charles to, well, complete Erik- heal him and make his soul whole again.  When Erik is laughing along with the other mutants and sharing long untouched memories with Charles, we believe he could amount to great things for the common good. As much as I love Ian McKellen, your thoughts are not on the elder Man of Magnetism here. Fassbender is the Vader of X-Men: First Class. It’s downright beautiful when Xavier truly touches Erik mentally and they save each other’s lives in turn. It’s beautiful because confident, intelligent, sexy badass guys aren’t supposed to get touchy feely!  To reach such poignancy only to see Professor X and Magneto then fracture is so, so sweet.  As opposed to his avante garde independent films, Fassbender most definitely proves he can handle the lead in larger movies with X-Men: First Class. Ladies who didn’t love him before will want to take him home and wipes his tears while male comic book fans will shake his hand and fight along side him. 

Though some audiences were upset by the occasional accent changes or thought Fassbender’s accent dropped all together towards the end of the film; honestly, I only noticed a major Irish inflection once in two viewings.  Not that his voice didn’t waver, it certainly could have. However, when you are so into the movie and the dialogue being exchanged, at some point you just don’t notice that McAvoy is really Scottish and sounds nothing like Patrick Stewart, either.  It’s a half hour into the movie before Fassbender even speaks English anyway.  His French- normally assumed to be such a lovely and romantic language- is used wonderfully in a threatening interrogation. We already saw the charmingly tragic Bill Milner (Son of Rambow) speaking German as the young and traumatized Erik; but knowing this ruthless French is not Lehnsherr’s primary language only makes him all the more deadly, even scary in his scorn. American audiences only familiar with Fassbender’s undercover, German speaking English spy from Inglorious Basterds might even erroneously expect his natural accent to be British, but his German here is again flawless.  It’s edgy, angry, sarcastic, and he switches so smoothly from an effortless Spanish in that great Argentinean stand off.  Even if there were no subtitles, you understand Erik’s deadly inflections whatever language he speaks.  Add his budding 007 style complete with black turtlenecks, fedoras, and three-piece suits to that deadly magnetism and ruthlessness, and you know not to mess with this guy. So then, seeing Fassbender turn on the dime to laughter, tears, and mutant inspirations is just the biggest star making bonus- and it is about time American viewers got on the Fass’ bender. If vocal inflictions are all the fault you can find in his performance here… Touché Fassy. 

In some ways, I feel bad that Fassbender has stolen some of James McAvoy’s thunder, because there is nothing wrong with McAvoy (Wanted, Atonement, The Last King of Scotland) in this film.  He wonderfully embodies the youth and zest of our prequel Charles with such compassion, hope, and vigor.  McAvoy was, in fact, better than I expected him to be. Just Fassbender was better- and the two of them together, god sent!   Xavier begins First Class a little dense or arrogant in his superior thinking of mutant mind and alcohol.  McAvoy doesn’t have an easy task in making the do gooder rich boy likeable- Charles is spoiled and has it all compared to the juicy grey material and developmental arc for Magneto.  The juxtaposition of these two parallel but divergent friends is the core here.  Xavier learns some humility at a very big price- despite having big mutant dreams of saving the world and living peacefully with homo sapiens. Ironically, his enlightenment and awakening of Erik’s full power turns out to be his own undoing.  Hot damn! Frankenstonian aspects, Jekyll and Hyde amalgams, and Neanderthal comparisons add even more spin to this layered relationship and deep superhero movie.  How can two men who believe such drastically different things save each other? Are mutants to be the gracious superiors of humanity or should the advanced dominate before mankind lashes out in the extreme and fearful measures we are so clearly capable of? Is superiority defined by compassion or action? Which are you supposed to choose when neither choice is necessarily right nor wrong? Yes, you get these lofty concepts and more from First Class.

While internal conflict certainly goes a long way, Kevin Bacon (Mystic River, Apollo 13, Footloose, its Kevin Bacon, people!) as an awesome Bond-esque villain certainly helps up the ante.  Bacon is decrepitly delightful in his opening incarnation Klaus Schmidt- a scientist who thinks he knows where the Nazis have erred in their experimentations.  His suave Sebastian Shaw is equally juicy and selfish.  Bacon is not, hee, hamming it up, but he is enjoying himself with all the great sixties accessories, babes, and diabolical plans.  Shaw is vain, intelligent, and totally cruel.  What a guy!  Though it is probably highly unlikely thanks to an already jammed packed hardware season, I’d love to see Bacon with a Supporting Actor nomination.  He sets First Class in motion and sees his agenda through- for our mutants to defeat him is an insurmountable, uphill battle.  Does Shaw care that the planet is collateral damage? Nope.  By contrast, Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence (Winter’s Bone, The Hunger Games) perfectly struggles to embrace her mutant identity as the blue skinned Mystique.  Where does she fit in between Charles’ vague attention and higher goals and Erik’s anti-human hell bent?  I’m shocked that anyone would think this woman is fat, and her gentle possibilities and dividing discussions with Nicholas Hoult’s (About a Boy, Skins) Beast moves naturally in reflection to the primary relationship and overall motifs here. The handheld, up close, personal filming of Hank’s transformation is also almost werewolf in tone.  He is ashamed and unable to control the, uh, beast within. Is that all being a mutant is- fear and secrecy- or can their gifts be embraced for good? The main players of X-Men: First Class offer plenty of good versus evil as expected in a superhero movie, but there’s star-making finer performance and thought, too.

The Lesser Mutants

Adding to some of that superhero fun are the naughty and villainous mutant henchmen. Or henchwoman, as is the case with January Jones as Emma Frost.  Jones (Mad Men) does her icy duty and serves her purpose in the first half of film, but is largely absent for the finale.  Her uneven treatment and bitchy exterior are slightly mishandled, yes. However, if First Class is meant to be like a Bond movie in tone, this pattern should be expected.  The pursuit of a subordinate always leads to the revealed major plan and pursuit of the main villain.  The women may all seem mistreated, but again, a sixties era show wouldn’t have equal representation. I know that is an easy copout answer, but Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids, Damages) is undercover in a garter belt (hehe that isn’t much coverage!) for goodness sake, go with it. Claims that women shouldn’t  be in the CIA are rectified behind closed doors with the admittances of how important the women along side the battle actually are, but that praise is fittingly never said to their faces.  The women in First Class- whether human, good mutant, bad mutant- are all misunderstood for a reason. I’m more upset that Spanish actor Alex Gonzalez as Riptide had no lines and Vaughn favorite Jason Flemyng (Clash of the Titans, Primeval) as Azazel had so little to do.  Though both cool, neither is given much to contribute beyond the big battles and flashy badness. Does this detract from the film? Strangely, no.  These are villainous henchman who are supposed to be badass and seemingly unstoppable for our heroes. Both men get that juice across just fine and make the most of the little they are given.   

Unfortunately, the rest of the ‘X-kids’ as I call them are lightweight and merely okay at best. Edi Gathegi (Twilight) as Darwin is completely misused, even insultingly mishandled.  Not much time is really spent on the second tier’s particular abilities or any pouts about their mutations- just enough for it to not get super juvenile.  Instead, the smart newsreels, split screen, and splicing effects during the training montage helps make what could be a typical teen eighties collage with badass music remain sixties cool. We notice how neat the effect from the time is almost as much as the supposedly important kids harnessing their powers to get the job done. The youthful players are only at their best in scenes with Xavier or Erik and are otherwise the underdeveloped detriment of First Class.  In some ways, it might have been better to have had two films- one to know Xavier and Magneto and the second for the recruitment of young mutants.  I feel harsh in saying it, but Zoe Kravitz’ (Californication) Angel does nothing to advance the film.  Lucas Till (Hannah Montana: The Movie) as Havok seems to be too 21^st century flippant and mutant cool as well, putting both in direct opposition to the pain, angst, compassion and ruthlessness from the primary players.  Caleb Landry Jones (Friday Night Lights) as Banshee is more tolerable thanks to some of his humor, but really were he and Angel only included in the film ahead of so many other mutants just for cool dogfight flying above Cuba? Did any of these younger mutants really need to be there? Honestly, the answer is no. First Class’ bread and butter is in its main players, and every time the story cuts away from them, you can’t wait to get back.

However, I seem to be alone in my dislike of the beloved surprise cameo in X-Men: First Class. This no big shocker appearance doesn’t really do anything to advance the story at hand, thus my red pencil editing brain is screaming it shouldn’t be there.  Not that the scene in of itself doesn’t work or isn’t funny, just perhaps such shoehorn stunt casting is better served as an Easter egg or extended video footage. First Class stands up just fine without you know who, bub. Why not have someone who may be Gambit throwing our boys out of a poker game with some flaming cards? Why not have a girl named Kitty scream at their approach and run through a wall? For what this appearance cost, I would much rather have had some more time spent on developing the younger mutants already in the film.  By contrast, the second, more unexpected cameo serves a purpose here, working beautifully with Jennifer Lawrence’s development of Mystique and her relationship with Magneto. I am still thinking about this scene!  Oliver Platt (Huff, The Bronx is Burning) as the unnamed CIA Man in Black is also a lot of fun at inviting the mutants in and giving them their gadgetry, and the aforementioned Rose Byrne does just fine in what she’s given.  I’d like to see more of her MacTaggert and Professor X in a sequel, hint hint. Lastly, I must mention the fine ‘hey that guy!’ everybody and their grandma appearances rounding out the cast- including Ray Wise (the dad from Twin Peaks), Glenn Morshower (24), Matt Craven (Crimson Tide), James Remar (Dexter), Don Creech (Ned’s Declassified), and Michael Ironside (he’s effing Ironside, people!)

Bond. Design Bond.

Now then, do allow me a paragraph for more on the sweet, sweet Bondian aspects of X-Men: First Class- because frankly, they are undeniable to even a 007 layman. Michael Fassbender looks so friggin’ Bond, it is unreal.  In some ways, this film is more Bond than Quantum of Solace, and there is nothing wrong with that!  When Erik wears that fedora, goodness me, I thought he was going to toss it on a hat rack!  We didn’t get an opening gun barrel scene in that last Bond film, but Vaughn made damn sure to give his audience a pseudo gun barrel turn. And wow, how about those Bond title sequence styled end credits?  Even an early rogue underwater attack on Shaw’s yacht- complete with a detachable submarine- had me thinking some of my favorite Dalton from License to Kill.  Though the director and his star leaned more toward Dr. No and Sean Connery, I seriously can see Fassbender as a cross between Dalton and current Bond Daniel Craig.  And though he has already shown his chops for the role in previous films (I told you so!), Fassbender’s emotional Bond kinship and Vaughn’s intimate directing ways further proves X-Men: First Class is about people who just happen to be mutants- as opposed to contemporary banal action flicks about car chases and shootouts and little else.  

X-Men: First Class naturally wouldn’t be any good if it were the garish sixties look or Austin Powers camp we might expect.  However, the hairstyles, fashions for the men and women, and the set décor do indicate just enough of that aforementioned swinging Bond style.  Goodness, I’ve also been watching Dark Shadows again recently, and First Class has none of that bad blue and green paisley! Classy lamps, fun artwork, short skirts and tall boots, lots of leather, and some sweet turtlenecks keep it all just right.  Though by definition a period piece, this is not so period to put off anyone. The over the top is reserved for mutant gadgetry or fun villainy, and truly, after awhile, I forgot about the 1962 setting until the great use of JFK archival snippets and newsreel split screens reminded me. Yes, Charles says groovy twice, but it is a drunken pick up line and works perfectly in context. The brief period music fits into the club scenes when used- and it isn’t blaring or overwhelming the show.  Actually, X-Men: First Class did not give me a headache, and there weren’t many scenes expressly used for action’s sake, coughmichaelbaycough. Some of the concluding battle does look ill choreographed, but what do you expect from new mutants duking it out? Besides, the period fleets and aircraft are too damn sweet.  This attention to detail makes First Class genuinely look like a sixties movie, as opposed to some of those modern films ‘made to look old’. 

The Experience

While I’ve had mostly praise outside of a few questionable mutants, I was expecting more flaws in X-Men: First Class.  I spoiled myself on all the trailers, clips, and mistaken artwork and viral campaign- but most of that is largely out of context here. There is plenty more in the film that has yet to be seen online or in TV spots.  Unfortunately, it seems there were also longer bits or alternate takes used in some of the spots that are not here, and First Class does have a Fellowship of the Ring feeling, as if, well, we’ve only just begun.  Hopefully, anything excised will be on the video releases to come. Though justifiably long at 2 hours and 12 minutes, it does seem like there could have more to tell- the conclusion here definitely leaves you yearning for what happens next.  Is this a bromance? Is it too gay? Are their both pleasing consistencies and irritating inconsistencies with the original films?  Is it too politics of 2011? Well yes and no and absolutely are the answers to all those questions, and First Class still works wonderfully. I am, however, surprised by all the doom and gloom hyperbole saying First Class is a failure for only earning $56 million its opening weekend.  In the midst of a recession, First Class has thus far held its own with its primary predecessor- and that is with a very iffy marketing campaign, no fancy higher 3D return, and absolutely no merchandising strategy.  The critical reception for First Class has also been mostly praiseworthy, as compared to its most recent precursor X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  Is it not better to have both modest success and acclaim?  If the team behind First Class had been looking for a fantastical wad with no substance, they would have pursued 3D.  The fact that they didn’t shows they are more interested in making a quality film, and amen to that!

For my Friday 11:30 a.m. First Class cinema going experience, about 25 people attended and 5 folks were on cell phones. What then, is the ratio of time and people spent on the phone for a 2-hour movie? There were only a few women and one family with children, mostly it seemed like a bunch of guys cutting school and talking on the phone.  For those interested in the trailers, Mr. Popper’s Penguins is the required Jim Carrey family plug, but The Green Lantern’s trailer overflows with bad CGI. I could care less about Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon- it garnered a mere shrug from my Dad and a ‘looks messy’- though The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo looked good from what you could see.  Unfortunately, the teaser was so dang loud and rapid fire in your face that it made itself somewhat unappealing.  Rise of the Planet of the Apes looked like a cross between the aforementioned Transformers and Congo, with angry growling apes attacking cars on a bridge, yeah.  I do like The Three Musketeers- but in 3D, seriously? Lastly, Immortals looks exactly like 300- replete with fantastical slow motion phalanx and Fassbender’s flying Stelios. I kid you not.  Suffice to say, I don’t think there’s anything there I will see in the theater. But I would see First Class again. I did. Twice.

Do you need to be a fan of X-Men to enjoy First Class? Though calling the film ‘outstanding,’ my Father insisted this is not the kind of prequel you can see ahead of the original films. I, however, do think new audiences unaware can be floored all the same.  Longtime fans might find a few contradictions, but the stylized charm and performance forgive the question marks here. Those who would normally not consider a cheesy comic book show can also enjoy X-Men: First Class, as it is at least on par with other recently acclaimed and more serious superhero films like The Dark Knight and Spiderman 2.  I myself feel its kinship to the lovely heart and soul and nostalgia of the 1978 Superman. With only one f-bomb and some implied sexuality, this PG-13 is also safe for the family and has enough faux history, real emotion, and fine intelligence for the grown ups.  Save up and see X-Men: First Class ASAP.

A Stephen King Viewing List

A Spooky Stephen King Marathon

By Kristin Battestella

For being such a horror buff, I’m not a fan of Stephen King and his books. Stranger still is that I really like films based on his torrid tales. As the macabre season nears, here’s a list of scary King shows to snuggle in with this Halloween.

Carrie- Yes we can all relate to the sheltered, special Sissy Spacek and her demented mother Piper Laurie-both ladies received Oscar nominations for their chilling performances. But its director Brian Depalma’s creepy look at the trauma of high school that stays with us. The gym shower, the prom, the pig’s blood, and an all star supporting cast keep this 1976 flick worthy. Forget any sequels or remakes here.

Christine- The dream of a hot rod gone horribly awry! There are a few past names here-and the film is sometimes billed under director John Carpenter’s clout-but the 1958 Plymouth is the star here. You can still enjoy these creepy car deaths today, and the early eighties motifs and fifties sentimentalities add to the scary nostalgia.

Salem’s Lot (s) - Both the 1979 release from Tobe Hooper and the quickie 2004 version starring Rob Lowe suffice for a night of vampires run amok in a supposedly safe New England inlet. If you’re looking for goth, glamorous vampires-they’re not here; but freaky, old fashioned suspense always works. Comparing both versions back to back might also be fun. Do however skip the useless sequel Return to Salem’s Lot.

The Shining- The recent miniseries adaptation isn’t bad, but you know I’m talking about Stanley Kubrick and Jack Nicholson’s crazy writer stranded at the isolated, snowbound Overlook Hotel. I get tired of all King’s writer protagonists and their hang-ups, but Nicholson owns the alcoholic Jack Torrance and all his drama. Say it with me now, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’

Silver Bullet- Ah, a wheelchair bound Corey Haim insists there’s a werewolf in town but no one believes him! A well-rounded cast and scary wolf mysteries make you jump in your seat the first time you see this one. Several memorable, frightening scenes here still stick with me 25 years later. Younger audiences might be too frightened-but it’s only a movie, isn’t it?

Pet Semetary- Who hasn’t lost a pet or a loved one and wouldn’t do anything to bring them back? Another simple life truth askewed delightfully into freaky charm and horror. The cast here is small but memorable-Dale Midkiff as the desperate father and Fred Gwynne as the wise old neighbor who meets a very bizarre end. And the baby, well, he’s just so dang cute and disturbing at the same time! This is another one that might be too disturbing and confusing for super young ones.

Misery- James Caan and Oscar winner Kathy Bates are exceptional as a wounded writer and the obsessive fan who’ll do anything to keep him writing what she likes best. Another one memorable and disturbing in its simplicity; the gut wrenching thought of an entire manuscript on the barbeque, the masterfully painful two by four scenes, ouch! Known more for his charming comedies and dramas, Rob Reiner spins the creepy human elements here wonderfully.

Sleepwalkers- Often frowned upon as one of the weaker King pictures; I like Brian Krause and Alice Krige as the freaky mother and son cat people lusting after young meat. It’s bizarre, sexy, gory, and all those cats are really creepy! Maybe the effects aren’t exceptional now, but the cat morphing and slick score add some extra scary spice.

Children of the Corn- This original isn’t the best, and the entire series is fairly lowbrow in plot and effects. Nevertheless, all those rustling cornfields, creepy kids, and plant worship go a long way for a Halloween Harvest marathon. Name players come and go despite the low-budget status; and even if you’ve never actually seen all-count ‘em-seven films, you’ve probably heard of ‘He who walks behind the rows.’ I prefer Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest myself. And to think, I grew up on a farm.

Thinner- After killing a gypsy woman with his car, Robert John Burke is cursed to waste away just by the gypsy king’s touch upon his face. The gypsy plots are a bit stereotypical, yes; but this plays into our fears about what creepy curses they might be capable of. The social analysis of weight, dieting, and such stereotypes are all here, along with the freaky deterioration of body, soul, and self. I guess guilt and food do go together.

Rose Red / Diary of Ellen Rimbauer- If Rose Red were a King novel instead of a miniseries original, I might actually read it. This lengthy analysis of the haunted house, ghosts, greed, parapsychology, and telekinesis develops all its effects, scares, and talent fully. Nancy Travis, Julian Sands, and Emily Deschanel are delightfully creepy here. The prequel telefilm Diary of Ellen Rimbauer fills in King’s back-story, but it’s not as scary or in depth as its preceding sequel. Despite its period piece explanations and charming cast, I’d spend the day with Rose Red first.

Secret Window- A little obvious toward the end, yes, but Johnny Depp fans can enjoy this creepy thriller about an unreliable narrator writer shacked up in the woods with a freaky John Turturro pursuing him over a plagiarized story. There’s nothing super new here, but this one’s creepy and violent enough for a scare or two.

The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys Still Good
By Kristin Battestella

So you have to be an eighties baby to even remember who ‘The Coreys’ are, but the 1987 vampire fest The Lost Boys is worth remembering. Directed by Joel Schumacher and starring Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Diane Wiest, and of course, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, The Lost Boys strength is not in its stale effects but in its memorable characters.

Divorced Mom Lucy (Diane Wiest) moves her sons Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) from Phoenix to Santa Carla, where the boys have a tough time adjusting to Grandpa’s (Barnard Hughes) rules. A Comic enthusiast, Sam makes friends with comic store clerks Edgar and Alan Frog (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander). The Frogs insist St. Carla is swarming with vampires, but Sam doesn’t believe them until Michael becomes involved with Star (Jami Gertz). Star, David (Kiefer Sutherland) and their pals sleep all day and party all night, and Michael is deceived into their wicked ways. When Sam tries to tell his Mother, he interferes with her new romance with video store owner Max (Edward Herrmann).

Well, its been twenty years, so I don’t remember what kind of reception The Lost Boys received at the box office, but the cast was at the time all-star. Some like the Coreys have fallen to drugs and the pressures of fame, but in the late eighties and early nineties they were the Tom Cruise of teen flicks. Hits like License To Drive and Dream A Little Dream catapulted the Coreys to fame. Likewise Kiefer Sutherland was making an early mark in films with bad guy roles here and in Stand By Me (One Corey was in that one, Feldman.)

The Lost Boys succeeds because its well rounded cast gives a feeling of realism. Unlike pretty vampire films like Interview With The Vampire and Underworld, this teen vampire gang and the boys in its web have parents, jobs, and authority with which to deal. When summarizing the story, there isn’t much beyond the usual vampire fair. Someone is suspected of being a vampire, someone is a vampire, vampire gets good guy under his spell, conflicted vampire helps in big vampire overthrow finale. Whew. The Lost Boys has all of this, but Schumacher finds the line between taking the film to seriously and being able to laugh at itself.

Memorable scenes from all the actors showcase each’s range, and the script offers lovely moments of humor and real life to keep the vampires in perspective. From Corey Haim’s bathtub serenade to pot smoking Grandpa’s insistence that ‘If you have a TV Guide, you don’t need a TV.’, The Lost Boys keeps it light without becoming ridiculously humorous like forgettable eighties vampire flicks Once Bitten or My Best Friend Is A Vampire. Where its needs to be light, The Lost Boys plays up the Coreys, but when the film turns dark, it can get very dark, even frightening.

Naturally, Kiefer Sutherland and his biker brood seem alluring to Michael at first, but after David’s true nature is revealed to him, things become very hazy. The infamous ‘Maggots, Michael. You’re eating maggots’ can be funny, but the ambiguous imagery and haunting pop score add a dark undercurrent to the film. When the vampire killing begins and the blood sucking action goes all out, its very easy for the audience to root for Sam and The Frog Brothers’ rescue of Michael, the tormented vampire Star, and the peculiar child vampire Laddie.

There’s no doubt that in 1987, The Lost Boy’s style and effects were at the forefront of Hollywood. Even with restoration to DVD, today these vampire action scenes can look, well, hokey. The flying vampire scenes seem artsy and avante guarde like other colorful Schumacher films, and the vampire booby traps don’t seem as inventive as they did then. But of course, if anyone else tried filling a bathtub with garlic and holy water, everyone would know it was copied from The Lost Boys. Just like the scene in which Sam and The Frog brothers try and prove Max is a vampire by putting mirrors about the dinner table, many of the hijinks here made a stamp on the vampire genre. It doesn’t mean they are perfect today, but that’s not the point either.

Vampire fans looking for more story than CGI should pick up The Lost Boys on DVD. The single disc is affordable and the more recent Two Disc Special Edition carries its fair share of extras-including the standard deleted scenes, commentaries, and documentary features. Younger fans who enjoy the stylized Underworld type might not like Boys, but if given the chance, new audiences will relate and appreciate what’s trying to be said.

Rated R, The Lost Boys has sexuality, violence, and scares that are too heavy for tweens or younger. If you have a spooky youngin, edited airings of The Lost Boys can be found on cable. The important thing is to not let the idea of older production values hinder your viewing experience. The Lost Boys is a must for any budding vampire enthusiast.

Highlander 2: The Renegade Version

Go Renegade with Highlander 2
By Kristin Battestella

Several years after his cult success with Highlander, director Russell Mulcahy tried for lightning twice. Usually, a film has high hopes if the original’s director returns for a sequel, but 1991’s Highlander II: The Quickening was a disaster in every sense of the word. Political unrest and upheaval in Argentina turned the film’s production on its ear. Mulcahy was passed his due date and out of money, so the Republic Studios took what he had filmed and released a woefully mish mashed movie.

According to Highlander II: The Quickening, Immortals like Connor McCloud (Christopher Lambert) and Ramirez (Sean Connery) are ancient aliens, and all this after the audience’s already huge leap of faith considering the supposedly penne ultimate Gathering already happened in the first movie. Returning immortals from another planet have come to earth, reopened the Gathering, and made Connor young again. Oh boy! Nine times out of ten, I will watch anything with Christopher Lambert, but here the actors are given incredibly bad, terrible dialogue. Total Recall and V: The Final Battle alum Michael Ironside plays the worst villain ever, and paired with Mario Van Peebles from Highlander III: The Sorcerer, all would agree these Highlander sequels are not worth anyone’s time.

However in 1995 Mulcahy retained the rights to his film and reissued the work as Highlander 2: The Renegade Version. Even for non-Highlander fans, this film is a must see. Despite both movies being Highlander 2, movie buffs will dig the completely different storyline, additional footage, realistic dialogue, and true characters presented in The Renegade Version.

Of the new footage, two scenes stand out. Although a new actress fills in for Brenda, the death scene between Connor and his second wife is just right. Once again McCloud must question his immortality when a loved one dies. This scene is an important bridge to the original and reiterates the imperfections of immortality.

Genre favorite Ironside gets his just with 17 minutes of extra action, including an extensive chase sequence. Unlike The Quickening, the action and struggles actually happen onscreen, and in The Renegade Version, all the effects are complete. Although the second death of Ramirez is a bit much, Connery repeats with an on form tongue in cheek performance. Quick fans will catch some naughty restored dialogue from the original Bond. With the more realistic story and dialogue, the actors can remain true to the characters established in the first film.

Purists, however, still often dismiss any form of Highlander 2 for its debauchery of Highlander canon. Even future Highlander incarnations ignore the release. Highlander II: The Quickening is most definitely a sequel to skip. While it won’t win any Oscars and is still outside acceptable canon, Highlander 2: The Renegade Version is a must for film collectors and Highlander fans.

A complete list of scene sequences and comparative breakdowns between both Highlander 2s is readily available online. Start with imdb and explore from there. Look for the original Highlander 2: The Renegade Version release on VHS or check out the Special Edition DVD for more treats and enhanced special effects. This peculiar sequel circumstance has to be seen to be believed.