90s Comfort Shows!

 

90s Comfort Food Binges

by Kristin Battestella

Don the baby doll dresses, velvet chokers, and butterfly clips – it's time to crank up that noisy modem and unwind with the raunchy humor, steamy action, and wholesome cowboys of these nineties comfort shows!

Married...with Children – “Whoa, Bundy!” From the ironic Frank Sinatra theme and Buck the Dog nabbing his five bucks to Psycho Dad and The Verminator, this 1987-1997 Fox sitcom was like no television show before it. The raunchy may be tame now, but it's fascinating to see how the unhappy, cheap, pathetic spin upended sitcom tropes and twee television cliches with a little help from Polk High and scoring four touchdowns in one game. The First season starts mild enough, but the betamax, mouse in the house extremes, and overdue 1957 library books escalate to wedding rings lost down a stripper's pants and unsatisfied in need of batteries taboos. Seasons Two and Three shockingly address periods in “The Camping Show” and scandalous lingerie for “Her Cups Runneth Over” yet the so-called lost episode “I'll See You In Court” isn't so pearl clutching today. Many of the series' most memorable episodes come in Season Five with the “We'll Follow the Sun” Labor Day premiere summing up the torment of our working man before the baseball twists in “The Unnatural,” Peg redecorating the bathroom for “A Man's Castle,” the Allante of “Kelly Bounces Back,” and the stolen trophies in “All Nite Security Guard.” Pamela Anderson thrashing on the fantasy bed, the dollar on a string at the nudie bar, barbecues cooked with a dead aunt's ashes, the super market shenanigans of “You Better Shop Around,” and the inability to remember an old song in “Oldies but Young 'Uns” make up for the terrible Top of the Heap backdoor pilot and the falling flat “It's a Bundyful Life.” The departure of Steve Rhoades and the introduction of Jefferson D'Arcy marks an obvious turning point as Season Six struggles with poor pregnancy plotlines and disjointed fun in episodes like “Kelly Does Hollywood” and “Al, Bundy, Shoe Dick.” Of course, that first half of Year Six is retroactively written off as a dream, and “The England Show” didn't need to be three parts, dragging the then weekly before the Season Seven premiere introduced the disastrous Seven character and tired money or insurance schemes. “Peggy and the Pirates” is fun in of itself, but the subsequent “Go for the Old” is a better example of the demented Bundy brand alongside Vanna White's propositioning for Al and the orgasmic speeches of “Banking on Marcy.” Boudoir Peggy billboards and an accidental circumcision bolster Season Eight while “Ride Scare” tackles environmental hypocrisy with the show's particular brand of humor – and Seven missing on the milk carton. The “I Want My Psycho Dad” two-parter addresses viewer complaints and cancel culture before we knew what it was to blame entertainment instead of bad parenting, but Year Nine's weekly gags run thin with clip shows, failed college spin offs, and preposterous celebrity stunts. Downright mean racism, sexism, homophobia, and fat shaming make for numerous wrongs, and rather than subverting sitcom tropes, the later seasons are fantasy parody with outlandish self-hype and dated of the moment references. The disastrous attempt to build the reincarnated Lucky a doghouse in “Al Goes to the Dogs,” NO MA'AM's bid to become a tax exempt church, and Christmas phone sex with the unseen Grandma Wanker in “I Can't Believe It's Butter” start Season Ten well, but by the Final season, it's clear the show has run out of ideas. While it's a pity there's no properly wild Newhart style finale, the shear amount of episodes here makes for the perfect turn off your brain background and chill nostalgia.

Pacific Blue – Today it's tough to believe cops on bikes at the beach could run for five seasons with one hundred and one episodes, and the 1996 Pilot immediately makes me feel sixteen years old thanks to trick bicycles, neon graffiti, and rollerblading culprits. Beach volleyball, bikinis, surfing, and sun kissed music montages rift on Baywatch amid too cool for school bike patrol quips and lieutenant Rick Rossovich's Top Gun cred. Early guest kitschy matches the X Games style chases, stunts, and wheelies well filmed with low angles, zooms, up close adrenaline, and so fast it must be slow motion strobe. The intense up, up, up action lets viewers forgive the feeble reasons why our bike police solve crimes. Boardwalk crowd control, sure, but undercover for robberies and vice? Would we watch horseback mounted police galloping in cinematic formation and leaping over the inferior cop cars to nab dangerous drug dealers? Bomb threats, nude beach protests, and preposterous bike to helicopter shenanigans aside, the First Year ironically offers timely police shootings, brutality, and racism. Traditional A/B even C plotting, however, mixes the good with run of the mill cop plots and tired Vietnam vet gone bonkers tropes. Bad ass bike perspectives or chip on the shoulder at demeaning the unit attitudes change as needed – interfering with grizzly murders, on the job injuries, and previously unsolved angst. Sexy male and female partners live on the edge in the bedroom and on the beat, but the stepped out of the shower and into the skimpy towel nineties sex scenes are so innocent and the work versus pleasure moves hot in one episode then cold across seasons. Girlfriends are assaulted for the man's revenge, which gets dropped in favor of skateboarding villains of the week. Third season women in the military, school shootings, hate crimes, and homophobia are decent but too many basketball plots, undercover romance stings, drug heists, and foreign intrigues get repetitive. A Baywatch crossover with Carmen Electra makes one wonder why this series wasn't deliberately created as a tandem franchise, but when episodes get serious with deposition style frankness, it's silly thanks to the thongs everywhere. The overlong episodic seasons short change the self-aware knowledge that the public hates doughnut eating, pension waiting, Rodney King beating bullies in blue; cops are framed, suspended, arrested, and/or vindicated all in forty-five minutes. Despite quality strides – and shout outs to fellow USA nineties treat La Femme Nikita, which our cops watch faithfully – deaths and Vegas weddings lead to a huge cast changeover for Season Four with uneven introductions and a too crowded ensemble. Now that they wear pants more often than bike shorts, the eye candy and desperate need to be seductive goes overboard thanks to obnoxious attitudes and falling flat flirtations. Maybe saucy maybe not roommates, date rape, and porn stings are not endearing, and repeated pregnancy scares get old alongside the contrived rookie mistakes and eye rolling bad behaviors. The new ~edgy~ players spend more time rough housing off the book for personal drama while never identifying themselves as cops. Female boxing stunts, Hawaii stints, film noir styles, and even occult episodes are so far removed from the original if thin premise, and serious internal affairs plots or real time kidnapping hours jar with boardwalk kids shooting themselves out of homemade cannons. Everyone is so angry and unlikable, and rather than some adrenaline fueled fun, the last year and a half is a chore to finish. They barely even ride their bikes! Fortunately, antennas, clunky mobile phones, giant projector televisions, 28.8 modems, video dating services, and Walkmans with real headphones provide bemusing chuckles to match this perky, entertaining patrol.

Snowy River: The McGregor Saga – Although this 1993-96 Australian television series is based on the same Banjo Paterson poem as the 1982 The Man From Snowy River film, it is otherwise unrelated to the movies, forging its own path with rival ranchers and gold claims. Brother versus brother and secret family histories clash in First season arcs amid railroad intrigue, kidnappings, banking schemes, dynamite, and shootouts. Soon to be famous faces like Hugh Jackman (X-Men) and guest stars such as Dean Stockwell (Quantum Leap) tackle desperate drives, stampedes, big cattle barons, Aboriginal issues, and racism. Although more masculine adventure than crusade of the week a la Dr. Quinn, Olivia Newton-John (Grease) and Tracy Nelson (Father Dowling Mysteries) delight as strong women in multi-part episodes addressing abuse, voting rights, and women in the workplace. Episode of the week changes in the Second season, however, are hit or miss when guest plots leave less room for the regulars. Then tame unchaperoned kisses aren't so scandalous and over the top chip on the shoulder scowling wears thin fast, but the older couples are charming alongside former flames now widowed back in town and good old fashioned duels. One off entries are great when the regular cast developments stick, but pacing suffers when two or three unrelated stories compete per hour. Romance resets and supporting townsfolk are dropped or forgotten, and the Third season goes downhill with cliché husbands back from the dead, orphan boy obnoxiousness, and even the old blind for an episode requisite. It's also odd to see Guy Pearce (Lockout) as a background player with little to do until the series realizes his worth in later seasons. Walking skirts, women's vests, and cameo jewelry look the period part, and those save a horse ride a cowboy nineties looks are ironically turn of the century appropriate, but the big hair strays into Dynasty goes west Glamour Shots. The interiors are small, but the western dressings match the muddy, authentic outdoors and picturesque photography. Intriguing opportunities in the shortened Final year get done in by weekly derivatives and too many cast departures, and chasing episodes on The Family Channel back in the day probably hindered Snowy River's popularity stateside. However, with only sixty-five episodes and various streaming options today, it's easy to marathon the Down Under Lonesome Dove entertainment. It's mature without being tawdry, family friendly without being juvenile, and perfect for a wholesome Saturday Night.

Kate & Leopold

Hugh Jackman Saves Kate & Leopold

Guest Review by Leigh Wood

I don’t do the sappy romantic comedy thang, but I was intrigue enough by the time travel premise of 2001’s Kate & Leopold to take a chance that this was not the same old, same old.  While it certainly has its leaps and faults, a great leading man goes a long way in keeping Kate & Leopold watchable.

In 1876 New York, Leopold Mountbatten, Duke of Albany (Hugh Jackman) would rather focus on inventing the elevator than dealing with the family’s pressure to marry rich and upkeep the aristocratic name.  After catching scientist Stuart Besser (Liev Schreiber) taking photographs of his designs, Leopold pursues Stuart off the incomplete Brooklyn Bridge and accidentally follows him to modern New York City.  Stuart explains his time traveling methods to Leopold and hopes to collaborate scientifically until the next portal opens in a week.  Unfortunately, Stuart falls down an elevator shaft and is hospitalized, leaving the stranded Leo in the watch of downstairs neighbors- the career minded Kate (Meg Ryan), also Stuart’s ex-girlfriend, and her brother Charles (Breckin Meyer), an out of work actor.  Despite no one believing his extraordinary tale, Leo befriends Charles, helps Kate with a commercial, and begins to fall in love with her.

 

Let’s get some of the iffy out of the way first. Fans of serious science fiction time travel romance won’t find it here.  The mechanics of Kate & Leopold’s time travel are not fully explored beyond a few illustrations and convoluted gibberish conversations.  This critical element is instead treated as the dues ex machina that put things into place.  Sure, we don’t need a lot of serious scientific jargon or lots of unnecessary primo effects, but this lack of development on a truly promising premise adds to some of the dramatic plot holes from director James Mangold (Walk the Line, Girl Interrupted) and co-writer Steven Rogers (Hope Floats, P.S. I Love You).  All this then in turn hinders some of the fine cast and character arcs.  Thankfully, there’s not a lot of slapstick or performance comedy in Kate & Leopold- which is refreshing compared to other younger, supposedly hip romantic comedies that hinge on several mistaken hysteria scenes.  I’m glad Mangold stuck to something cynical, older, and more mature than the recent trend of twenty something gals looking for love, but all this is evidence that perhaps Kate & Leopold would have been better off as a purely dramatic piece.

I don’t think I hate Meg Ryan, but her performance here is a tough pill to swallow.  It’s not because Kate’s kind of a bitchy career woman- no, we’ve just seen this exact same role in all Ryan’s other romantic comedies.   I know she has made a few other dramatic or action films, but my goodness Meg Ryan latched onto the rom com with When Harry Met Sally and hasn’t let go.  Sleepless in Seattle, anyone? And even dramatically, how sappy is City of Angels, honestly? I can tolerate You’ve Got Mail because it has a bit of a unique book angle and spin, but isn’t there another lovely mature actress in Hollywood or beyond ready to take the mantle?  Again, I don’t mean those sassy twenty somethings, but someone a little more realistic.  How many times can Meg Ryan be in NYC looking for love? Not only is there nothing new here from Ryan, but it’s almost parody thanks to so many romantic appearances.  Kate is cute, sure, even lovely in some scenes.  Unfortunately, her drab, manly style and choppy haircut make her too boyish; and the big botox lips of the moment are just unattractive.  I feel bad in thinking it, but why would Leopold even like her? The Breakfast at Tiffany’s references are also too stereotypical and why do we need to go there, anyway? Sadly, on my second viewing of Kate & Leopold I realized the best parts of the film have the least of Meg Ryan.  Ouch!

By contrast, I’m not a super drool fan of Golden Globe nominee Hugh Jackman by any means.  However, he’s proven his skill and range with X-Men, Swordfish, The Fountain, even Viva Laughlin, and for some reason I like the guilty pleasure Someone Like You (up until the last half hour that is, ugh).  Leopold’s old-fashioned, stoic, and stiff upper lip aristocrat isn’t afraid to carry on his ways or tell it like it is, yet he’s the most likeable person in the film.  Despite the fish out of water button-up style, he is the most realistic and intelligent person presented.  We feel for his circumstance and like the honest and fresh faced perspective he brings to modern New York.  Jackman looks the part in the period costume and is able to share his disillusionment with the old aristocracy as much as the joy found in modern conveniences.  It’s a big leap for Leo to fit in so quickly and have cool clothes and all the city celebrity, but Jackman’s accent and style are on form. He’s innocent, mannerly, and behaves the true gentleman-yet these qualities also make Leopold strong, attractive, and threatening to lesser men.  It’s as if Jackman is Leopold, taking the drama and performance more seriously than anyone else does here.  Ladies who love him will eat up Kate & Leopold.

Liev Schreiber, unfortunately, gets the short end of the stick in Kate & Leopold.  I always think he looks somewhat creepy or has a penchant for playing villains or cads, but Schreiber (Scream, A Walk on the Moon, X-Men Origins: Wolverine with Jackman) is dandy as the quirky scientist who sets all the Fate in motion.  There’s just not enough time with Stuart to really care. He falls down the elevator shaft, is laid up in the hospital, and ends up committed to an institution for talking about time travel- but everyone is too busy playing the romantic comedy to even visit!  Likewise underused is the charming Breckin Meyer (Clueless, Road Trip, Robot Chicken) as Kate’s goofy younger brother Charles.  Despite being considered still in the younger, silly and stupid comedy arena, Meyer proves he can handle himself with the bigger names here.  They’re both wonderful, but Kate’s slimey boss Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) and Natasha Lyonne (American Pie) as mousy secretary Darci also don’t get enough time to shine.  Again, a straight drama would have better served this fine ensemble.  In that case, only one of these characters could be highlight with lighthearted comedy- either the injured and nutty time traveler, a wayward brother trying to go straight, the sleazy skirt-chasing bigwig, or a batty eyed and sappy secretary.  With that chance at refined dedication, any of the talented cast here could have done something great.

Fortunately, Kate & Leopold looks cool.  Not just an afterthought of production, the opening and closing period piece segments look just fine.  The New York apartments are also sweet looking-although I don’t know how rich you have to be to have such swanky and special spaces in the city.  And who leaves a walk out window open at night in this day and age, really? The additional layer of the period style mixed with modern looks stands out as out of place, but also seems strangely fitting.  Leopold being about town in his old time frock coat isn’t as goofy as one might think in these quirky times!   The blend of old 19^th century buildings being adapted to new city uses also adds realistic charm.   Though Leopold is supposed to have invented the elevator, it’s kind of a miss on how all the elevators in the city stop when Leo moves forward in time.  If this bit of useless information is so important, it should have been treated as more than a plot contrivance when necessary. Fortunately, a few fine chases on foot and horseback look fun and fast paced.  There are no major effects to speak of for the time travel bits, but the swift pacing and suspenseful jumps set the mood and atmosphere accordingly.

Although I wasn’t expecting something as special as say Somewhere in Time, I had higher hopes for Kate & Leopold.  While Jackman delivers a fine and entertaining performance, the too loose time travel angles and ill casting of the same old Meg Ryan can undo the picture.  Deleted scenes and extras on the DVD help fix some of the internal errors, but mainstream audiences looking for serious drama or science fiction fans looking for some hefty Time analysis won’t find it here. Casual viewers can find a cable sampling, netflix options, or affordable DVD editions.  Packaged sets with other similar romance films are also out there for die-hard fans. Despite its hang-ups, lovers of Hugh Jackman and fans of the quirky New York rom com genre will enjoy  Kate & Leopold nonetheless.