House of Dark Shadows Guest Podcast!

 

Our Dark Shadows reputation preceeds us as I was invited by Phillip to guest on the Making Tarantino Podcast to discuss Dan Curtis' 1970 adaptation House of Dark Shadows! 

New Episode OUT NOW!!! Listen to me and @vampfamwriter wax poetic about Dark Shadows tv series and mostly the 1970 movie, House of Dark Shadows. It’s a fun time. pic.twitter.com/YRvuLmecZq

— Making Tarantino: The Podcast (@MakingTarantino) August 9, 2024

For more, follow @MakingTarantino or read our previous House of Dark Shadows review and our How to Start Watching Dark Shadows TV feature at Keith Loves Movies. Thank you for listening! 

See and Hear more of our Guest Appearances:

Women InSession Podcast

The Convert Video Review

Bound Video Review

Movie of the Week Horrors

 

Movie of the Week Horrors

by Kristin Battestella

This throwback trio of women-centric network television movies consists of questionable larks at best and inexplicably disturbing at worse. Yet somehow, there remains some bemusing entertainment value – if you overlook a lot.

The Invasion of Carol Enders – TV movie queen Meredith Baxter (Family Ties) wakes up possessed in this unusual 1974 Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) produced tale that seems more like a soap opera pilot at only sixty-seven minutes. Some acting is laid on thick and the bare production tries its best as blindness, car accidents, an heiress, the suspicious stepson, and more soap opera tropes rely on reused Dark Shadows sets and familiar Robert Cobert music intruding to create more ominous mood. Military men and space engineers can't handle the financial downturns as husbands and boyfriends become angry, violent drunkards and the women suffer for it. The premise is eerie enough thanks to the more subtle chills as a patient claims a man she never met is her husband and he refuses to believe it as nothing more than a demented con. Our dead woman calls her broker like nothing is wrong amid the horror of looking in the mirror and seeing someone different. Of course, the ladies happen to be in the same hospital at the same time for the eponymous switch-a-roo, relying on convenient leaps as even the physician diagnoses one spirit as saving the other. The deceased also magically knows she was murdered when her car went off the road alongside faulty brakes, shady ex-husbands, bank forgeries, and then high-tech copy machine culprits. Baxter spends half the time sitting in a hospital bed with bandages on her eyes – used or removed as needed – before easily leaving for her own investigation. There are compelling one on ones and even some tense action, but the authorities bend to the supernatural or rational just to move the plot along – nonbelievers accepting a possession story that seems intended for Dark Shadows had that series continued. This isn't anything one hasn't seen already, yet I can't lie, I fell for the red herring!

Satan's Triangle – Bermuda Triangle shipwrecks and Coast Guard rescues spell doom for lieutenant Doug McClure (The Virginian) and lone survivor Kim Novak (Vertigo) in this 1975 movie of the week that looks ten years too late. The first twenty minutes could have been skipped – a dry reenactment with hovering helicopters, terrible radio banter, and airlifts that are somehow so plain despite the distress calls and sinking boats. Bodies are impaled and strung up on the mast, however the snail's pace back and forth focuses on the search protocol. Flashbacks to big game fishing and a previously rescued priest suggest that's where our story should be. The messy storytelling constructs interfere with the action at hand while wind, fog, and poor video quality make the schooner tough to see. A supposedly sexy priest and Jock Ewing himself Jim Davis chomping down on his food amid the disaster are inadvertently humorous despite lightning, ominous music, and then saucy bare backs of topless women. Recountings of another person within the flashback mean we never directly see anything as it happens, and nonsensical narrating over dialogue leaves the audience unable to share in the scary experience. The rescuer who wasn't even there repeats the deaths as if everything was a secret in need of explanation before tacked on religion and predictable twists. The devil said to be testing people's mettle could be intriguing without the artificially created constraints, and although we balk at this past bad, today numerous shows do the same deliberate delay and cut up mystery. One can usually forgive these ABC yarns, but in spite of a very chilling ending, this playing at spooky nothing burger obvious would have been much more effective as a half hour anthology entry.

She Waits – The print is understandably poor for this 1972 CBS production featuring newlywed Patty Duke (The Miracle Worker) and mother-in-law Dorothy McGuire (Old Yeller) confronting the spirit of David McCallum's (The Man from U.N.C.L.E) late first wife, and the elegant, romantic music plays up the Rebecca wannabe mood. The ghosts and crazy old ladies jump right into the spooky old home ominous, but the California set piece doesn't have much gothic atmosphere. The deceased's pictures are pulled from the albums amid music boxes, voices in the night, phantom humming, and occult books in the library. However the antique shopping coincidences and contrived relationships skip over any slow burn scares. Claustrophobic rooms, billowing curtains, unseen spirits, and slamming doors are effective with very little, but the haunting is never used to full advantage. Superfluous characters come and go as needed, and it takes a half hour for something scary to happen. Naturally the droll son/husband and old man doctor don't believe the hysterical women and don't want them to frighten one another, but the derivative lack of surprises means there's no real torment for the characters. The hear tell talk of the titular Elaine doesn't create her presence, for we're repeatedly told she will possess and intends to harm her husband – giving away everything that's going to happen as if we've haven't seen Patty Duke play doubles already. Clueless men save themselves by talking their way out of the revenge as the reveals move fast because the seventy-four minutes says so. Instead of a warped battle of wills between the ladies, this merely limps into the same old, same old.

Dark Shadows: Collection 17

Dark Shadows Collection 17 Struggles with Storyline Changes

by Kristin Battestella

After spending the summer re-watching Dark Shadows from the beginning, I'm back to Collection 17 and this last leg in the 1897 storyline – an entertaining but fumbling exit perhaps overwhelmed with Victorian horror, vampires, and Lovecraft spells as Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid) travels back to 1796 with Kitty Soames, the reincarnation of his beloved Josette DuPres (Kathryn Leigh Scott), after seemingly defeating the vile Count Petofi (Thayer David) – who has switched bodies with the werewolf Quentin Collins (David Selby) in order to travel from 1897 to 1969. Unfortunately, ancient leviathan interference upsets numerous events past and present for Dr. Julia Hoffman (Grayson Hall).

The body swaps, mistaken identity, and abused I Ching hexagrams open Episode 858 amid gypsy threats, bitter marriage alliances, magical but stolen portraits, and good old fashioned blackmail. Enemies become allies as characters must prove who they are despite witches, seances, skeleton keys, chained coffins, and hooded figures. Cursed people are packing, gold diggers are making plans – there's a sense that 1897 is a wrap and 1969 is imminent thanks to psychedelic sounds, astral bodies, time travel technicalities, and echoes from another century. There are many threads to resolve with the Hand of Count Petofi and buried alive threats coming back to haunt deserving parties. Psychic visions see thru the mystical ruses alongside fiery witches versus warlocks confrontations and kidnappings. Inner monologues matching the real person in the wrong body curb confusion as well as garner sympathy during the body swindles, however Collection 17 takes a few episodes to catch up on who cast what spells with some round about half hours and straggling characters loosing steam before ghostly apparitions, dubious lawyers, chloroform, and failed rituals. Lookalike vampire encounters ramp up the scares in Episode 868, but the 1795/96 chronology is shoehorned in with fudged dates and Collins Family History books. New characters read Ben Stokes' diary and suddenly everybody's an expert! Answers are dismissed as madness amid suspicious relatives, antagonizing ministers, crosses, and women in cahoots. Pulsing heartbeats, ill conceived marriage proposals, and love triangles repeat themselves as Dark Shadows strays from the high quality previously seen in 1897 thanks to flashback explanations with witches excited a doppelganger ruse worked when the same thing was accomplished against The Phoenix on Collection 14. Lengthy reprises cut into the next episode, and in the days of VHS, I would fast forward through the dull back and forth partnerships telling each other what they don't know but the audience already does. Fortunately, buried suitcases and risky I Ching hexagrams make ready for the future as romantic duets and dancing dreams turn into terror. Dark Shadows picks up the intensity with will power over evil, cliff side desperation, and deadly shockers in Episode 876 before 879 adds double crosses, stranglers, poison, and fresh cement. Nobody's surprised by the supernatural anymore, much less betrayals, home invasions, and decoy burglaries even as people leap out Collinwood's windows or pass brandy to the fainting women. Climatic scandals keep the paranoia, graveyard chases, and taunting phone calls on track as forgiveness comes to some, but not all.

Bitter deaths and fast resolutions tie up each loose end, however, the main characters are largely absent without one key storyline, and it's as if Dark Shadows doesn't know how to resolve yet more body switches as the nonsensical fantastics unravel. Targets must stay awake lest spells over take them, and fiery finales rush to a unbelievably easy end, leaving a sense of confusion on whether 1897 is really finished as shocking twists and suicides are glossed over before three odd episodes in 1796 with admittedly atmospheric vampire brides, meddling witches, and prophecies. This revisit to the further past, however, is also left hanging in the balance for torches, snake altars, and a big WTF that today would have audiences immediately tuning out and complaining on Twitter. Actors who played two characters in 1897 also don their 1795 wigs before returning to their original 1969 roles in Episode 888, and it's a lot to digest. If Dark Shadows had simply taken the I Ching back to 1969 and immediately shown how some of our 1897 immortals show up in the present and then revealed the unusual Lovecraft inspired leviathan abstracts, the intriguing rituals, ancient motifs, and cult incantations wouldn't be off on the wrong foot and may have garnered an entirely different reception. Although their stilted speech and faux ritualistic moves may be bemusing, those hooded leviathan minions are also terribly creepy folks! Instead, characters meander over what has happened, bringing up the forgotten werewolf plots before new players, pentagrams, locked boxes, and one ominous antique store that led kid me to believe every junk shop was evil. There's a moon landing reference, too – an outside rarity on Dark Shadows alongside the Naga lockets, necronomicons, and freaky dream sequence overlays as paranoid friends become enemies. Chosen ones, enchanting evil gifts, traumatized patients – one by one players old and new become part of some kind of telepathic cult, and it hurts the series further when more time is spent on compromised strangers rather than the regulars. How does that antique shop do business when it's always closed while the proprietors grow monsters in the dark upstairs room? Foreboding zooms can't compensate as everyone speaks in riddles, “It's the time of the leviathan people, and that time is now!” Such sweet nothings make the mind control and fake baby bundles laughable, and by Episode 898 Dark Shadows appears even cheaper than usual with less cast, weaker effects, and thin writing. The creepy doesn't capitalize on the surprising violence much less talk of how only people in leviathan tune can see their altar or mentions of an unseen village apothecary. Ultimately, this leviathan yarn really should have been a shorter secondary plot like The Phoenix rather than keeping other stories standing still for scary rituals, shopkeeper frights, and seances that come too few and far between.

Jonathan Frid's Barnabas Collins is supposedly dead to start Collection 17 but we know better! Barnabas reinserts himself at Collinwood yet seems one step behind without much to do in the 1897 finale except effectively kill Kitty with his disturbing insistence that she is the reincarnated Josette. When he gets to 1796, however, he forgets all about her to join a cult. Dark Shadows shoots itself in the foot by making its hero a minion of a pretty box – he's not honest with Julia and flaky when acting like a jerk does nothing to endear this leviathan plot. Barnabas actually claims the brainwashing weirdness going on is due to his electricity experiments when the Old House still goes by candlelight! Grayson Hall's Madga also disappears for no reason when the gypsy aspects would have been quite useful with the doppelgangers and body switches, and her voiceover dropping some 1897 gossip is a cop out after the fact as Julia Hoffman plays catch up, carrying several episodes while Barnabas calls her nosy. He blows her off by saying she sees the paranormal in everything (Hello!) and Julia stumbles alone in pursuing what happened to Tate and his paintings. This uneven division between Dark Shadows' go-to team adds to the off balance storytelling, and Kathryn Leigh Scott's gold digger Kitty Soames isn't exactly sympathetic even if she is losing control to this Josette possession. Transitioning the entire storyline through this dragging back and forth when Barnabas doesn't even want her just Josette is anti-climatic – especially when the appearance of the Ghost of Jeremiah Collins will only resonate with audiences who've seen the original 1795 storyline. Surprisingly, Lara Parker's witch Angelique doesn't seem to care about Barnabas marrying Kitty and initially doesn't notice the Quentin/Petofi switch despite still trying to trap Quentin for herself. As portrayed by Thayer David, Quentin Collins is sympathetic, desperate and innocent against his handsome, dangerous self. Once he's back in his own body, David Selby's Picture of Dorian Gray Quentin loses his portrait and again fears his werewolf curse, remaining guilty over the part he's played in all that has happened to the people he supposedly loved – thus completing his journey from evil ghost to tormented immortal. Donna McKechnie's Amanda has bittersweet plans to meet Quentin in New York, and her late appearance as the suspicious actress Olivia Corey sets up one of my favorite later series moments on Collection 18.

Likewise, Terry Crawford as Beth Chavez is packed and ready to whisk away with Quentin – however she's largely forgotten until it's important, used and abused by Petofi as Quentin until it's too late. As inhabited by David Selby, Count Andreas Petofi is angry and sparing no expense in traveling to the future. Any life is expendable, and he uses his devious charms to string along all the ladies and cover his tracks when he slips up – like playing Mozart on the gramophone instead of Quentin's Theme! Thayer David's Petofi almost succeeds in his plans, but his magic both works or doesn't work just because the writing says so. While Michael Stroka's Aristede can't be seen at Collinwood with Petofi as Quentin, he foolishly expects the Count to take him to the future. He runs away several times, gets laughed at or tricked, but Aristede isn't a significant enough character to draw out his end over five episodes of prison history and rent boy winks. It might have been neat if the Garth Blackwood vengeance actually orchestrated by Petofi had been chasing Aristede all along but such chills are wasted this late and detract from more important happenings. Dark Shadows grande dame Joan Bennett has a dramatic entrance as fresh from the sanitarium Judith Collins Trask, tricking Jerry Lacy's Reverend Gregory Trask out of her money and placing Collinwood back under her rule. Trask is caught red handed in his lies, but claims the devil is at work in Collinwood as he plots more ill gotten deals. Fortunately, Judith masterfully orchestrates his punishment, going from the stuffy old maid at the beginning of the 1897 storyline to fully embracing the Collins twistedness. He's gravely underestimated her, and Trask finds himself trapped with one dwindling candle while regretting all the times he locked his fearful students in a closet when they were so afraid of the dark. Although often used for psychic convenience that does prove critical to the plot, Nancy Barrett also provides a multi-faceted performance as the once demure Charity Trask who's now permanently second sight singer Pansy Faye. Naturally there are obligatory “I'm Gonna Dance for You “ cues, but Barrett plays piano and sings in Pansy's cockney accent. She doesn't like to be lied to so tries being as honest as possible – one of the few sympathetic characters trapped in all this supernatural crazy. She won't take bribes but will except gifts for her insights and when Quentin leaves, she gives him a “racy” photo so he'll never forget Pansy Faye. Barrett spends a minute as ditsy Millicent Collins as well before returning to Carolyn Stoddard who has a bad feeling about the new antique shop yet works there nonetheless.

Don Briscoe's Tim Shaw is mostly useless in the 1897 end, however Chris Jennings is still an angry werewolf, and Carolyn wonders what his secrets are while Barnabas tries to break them up for his own leviathan motives. Whiny, drinking, and arguing with customers, Roger Davis as Charles Delaware Tate is likewise as obnoxious as ever on Collection 17. At once he complains about his terrible and mystical talent yet begs Petofi to give it back to him before stealing Quentin's portrait and making full moon jokes. He's said to be near 100 years old in 1969, and his plot will still provide one last annoyance on Collection 18 where some of the dangling 1897 threads are finally resolved. Unfortunately Louis Edmunds' Edward Collins gets ditched off screen, disappearing early on Collection 17 after asking Kitty to marry him with no resolution about how he feels regarding his ex-vampire cousin stealing his lady. Denise Nickerson's Nora also appears once to dislike her would be stepmother before Amy is also suspicious late on Disc Four. As important as they were to the haunting and the reasons for going to 1897, David Henesy's Jamison is also only mentioned before young David is sucked into underground snake lairs with only a few throwaway lines about what he may remember of their ghostly possessions. Dennis Patrick's Paul Stoddard also has some explaining to do as he snoops about the Old House. He hangs around the leviathan altar and makes prank calls, generally creeping around for several episodes before telling where he's been for the past twenty years. Unfortunately, Dark Shadows audiences who haven't seen the pre-Barnabas episodes of the series won't really appreciate the leftover murder, blackmail, and conspiracy much less recall Patrick as the ne'er do well Jason McGuire. Marcia Wallace also returns briefly as the Ghost of Jenny Collins before coming back to Collinsport with Christopher Bernau as antique store entrepreneurs Megan and Phillip Todd. Megan's the more vocal and pushy of the yuppie pair, over eager while Philip is reluctant to accept the Naga box. They talk in abstracts about the leviathan intangibles but it doesn't help the audience care. In fact, it would have been more interesting if Barnabas had comeback to 1969 straightaway and then be corrupted into the cult by this new couple in town and their suspicious baby.

The colorful Victorian gowns peak on Collection 17 with satin, lace, and ruffles alongside curly wigs and fancy jewelry. Although Judith wears the same earrings Julia had on when she disappeared into the future and there must have been a fire sale on purple satin because every woman is wearing it. Dark Shadows juggles three different time periods as well as creepy leviathan snake motifs, and while I can feel that bright orange velvet colonial dress, that belted purple sweater and plaid pants menswear is a no, and I swear everyone is wearing some damn heavy eyeliner! Thankfully, tolling grandfather clocks, shadow schemes, and gaslight ambiance set off the abandoned rectory hideout's stained glass, red velvet, and vintage décor – and I think I've subconsciously decorated my house in Dark Shadows' faux Victorian gothic revival style. Great antique storefronts, old fashioned knick knacks, clutter, and cradles add to the telegrams and phone books of the 1969 present while keeping the past spirit. Of course, the special effects are often obvious with green screen mistakes and out of sync voiceovers. Jumpy prints and innate camera flaws also make the magentas look garish and reds turn pink. However, those distorted hues are terribly effective amid ghostly greens, candlelight, and gauze around the lens for some wild psychedelic dreams. Rattling chains, ominous knocks at the door, storm sounds, and those familiar Bob Cobert music crescendos are likewise chilling – except when they aren't right on cue. From the 1969 couch in the 1897 living room and rumpled carpeting substituting for grass to prop guns that don't go off and a canvas portrait that's rolled up like a poster, there are always fun bloopers on Dark Shadows. The traveling afghan! That intrusive music box! A gramophone that's in the living room after it's been walled up in the sealed off west wing! Fortunately, artistic camera shots through windows or reflections and quick cuts to match pulsing sounds make up any difference along with foreground and background photography where the audience sees the hidden attacker but the victim doesn't. The Dark Shadows DVDs, however, can get confusing, as Collection 17's forty episodes are also on Discs 89 thru 92 on the Dark Shadows: Complete Original Series Sets 15 and 16. At least David Selby's bonus interview wonderfully recalls the unique glint in Jonathan Frid's eye, Grayson Hall's maternal style, Louis Edmunds' outspokenness, and how Dark Shadows knew how to use their talent in an industry that otherwise maybe didn't know what to do with such special personalities. Lara Parker, however, Selby simply calls “moon eyes.” While the DVDs may have such touching features, there is one thing the streaming options have that video doesn't: subtitles!

Dark Shadows still has a lot of good to come, however much happens on Collection 17's four discs and this is where the series begins taking on more than it can chew. Up until the 1970 Parallel Time switch late in Collection 19, one can even view this entire leviathan smoke and mirrors as suspect. Did we really go back to 1796 or is this an alternate time created by the heroics in 1897? When watching with a critical eye such technicalities can hurt the gothic immersion Dark Shadows does so well. Fortunately, while the first half of the set is not an introduction piece, fans looking for a fresh Lovecraft inspired piece without any preconceived notion of what came before can join the fray here. Collection 17 isn't totally terrible, and the supernatural time traveling escapades remain perfect for a spooky marathon. 

  

 (It's Count Chocula!)

Female Frights Trio!

A Trio of Female Frights

by Kristin Battestella

This trio of lady horrors past and present provides plenty of paranormal revenge, quirky fatalities, and bizarre terrors for these women young or old. 

 

Dark Touch – Barking dogs, crying babies, thunderstorms, and young girls fleeing into the rain open this 2013 international co-production written and directed Marina de Van (Don't Look Back). Tongue injuries and unexplained bruises further belie the pretty Irish landscapes, and this contemporary, harsh, monochromatic house doesn't match the countryside. Yuppie doctors and reassuring adults calmly explain away why their daughter is traumatized in this home despite ringing in the ears and muffled screams inside the window. Flickering lights, footsteps, shadows, and locked doors build an ominous mood as children are told not to be afraid before they cry in bed over the subtle but no less nasty suggestions. Although nighttime blue lighting is a little too dark, clever editing makes the banging objects, moving furniture, chandelier frights, and crafty kills more terrible amid police discovery, tip toeing social workers, and acting out at the hospital. It will take time to adjust, but ongoing whispers, fear of belts, and back to school structure don't help heal this trauma. People are trying to help and see to our survivor's needs, but the awkward disconnection persists alongside secret photo albums, missing medical records, locking oneself in the bathroom, and refusing to bathe except fully clothed. Are the buzzing lights, breaking dishes, and garage mishaps something paranormal or uncontrolled telekinesis reacting to abuse? Other children are brutally honest in some refreshing exposition, and creepy sing songs lead to nearby abusers and gory retributions as a yellow patina shapes this surreal atmosphere where the fantastic allows hurt children to take matters into their own hands rather than suffer what goes on behind closed doors in this close knit, superstitious community. Adults insist it isn't this girl's fault that bad things happen, but they suspect worse as she recoils from any compassion and child's play becomes harmed dolls and fiery birthday parties. Trances and school barricades come full circle, but the well intended adults only question what they didn't know about the people closest to them when it's too late. At times, the slow pace and frequent screaming drag, and the supernatural aspects are also misleading. The artsy finale will be confusing as well, but the mix of nightmares real and horror make for interesting metaphors and conversations on the frightening truth and who really has the titular mark.

Office Killer – Carol Kane (Taxi), Molly Ringwald (The Breakfast Club), and Jeanne Tripplehorn (Basic Instinct) star in photographer turned director Cindy Sherman's 1997 dark satire of magazine deadlines, office downsizing, and meek but murderous co-workers. Phone gossip, bossy dames, cigarettes, big computers, and older fashions invoke a quirky noir feeling amid the mundane ticking clock and a greasy higher up man who's giving all the ladies his cold. The copier ink explodes on hard working Dorine with the crookedly drawn eyebrows, everyone forgets her name, and she's stuck at home making tea for her crabby old mother amid laptop upgrades and learn or get left behind memos. Late night tech support, power outages, red lighting, and orange glows make the office a little scary before creepy convulsions, thunderstorms, poison in the inhaler, and crossed wires frying associates. Morbid winks layer scenes amid well-filmed bungling crimes, messy mail room slices, and a homeless man catching one hauling out the deceased, but Dorine gains confidence in talking back to that mean corpse while the cat plays with the bodies piling up in the basement. Bloody flashbacks with sixties wagons suggest our mousy employee already had some sociopathy in her, but the trickle down office blame mixes the real world stinky of the ignored worker who sees all with horror, distorted camerawork, kaleidoscope effects, and twisted perspectives. Would she have killed if she had been treated nicely? Mom yearns for the days when a man ruled the house, and mean girls, jealousy, frienemies, and calls to the bitchy wife of the deceased from the girl he was smooching in the office create multi-faceted women's interplay. Sure let's go to lunch – so I can knock you out with a crowbar! Our little lady is pretty crafty when she wants, using primitive emails to get back at stealing accountants or cleaning decomposing bodies with Windex and making unique décor with body parts. Dorine trades tightly wound buns for better make up – letting her hair down as she receives the workplace respect she deserves. Is one hateful co-worker right to not take her sob story at face value and accuse her of playing on everyone's sympathy? It's one woman's word versus another, but the macabre, likable moments ultimately reveal how disturbed the seemingly mild-mannered Dorine truly is. The satire may be uneven, too on nose for some and not outright horror enough with bemusing violence and cut away splatter. However, the innocent, unassuming start results in flies buzzing, smelly discoveries, and a sinister character parable with shrewd commentary on women's relationships, workplace environments, childhood dynamics, social shapings of psychoses, and more.

Trilogy of Terror – Karen Black (Burnt Offerings) leads this 1975 made for television anthology from director Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) and writer Richard Matheson (Somewhere in Time) beginning with the campus bells, bell bottoms, and coeds of “Julie.” One stud student wonders how hot this frumpy teacher would be with hazy fantasy intercuts and steamy suggestions as he spies on her undressing. Classroom talk on Faulkner rape and Fitzgerald violence lead to a spicy French vampire movie and a dollar for two large root beers at the drive in – spiked of course. It's surprising they got away with such disturbing date rape on mid-seventies television, as a check-in at the hotel as “Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Harker” leads to dark room photography and threatening notes forcing a woman to “meet” some of his friends before good old fashioned “I have the negatives” blackmail. Who is controlling whom? Newspaper scrapbooks and surprising revelations lead to the black and white reels and button up repression of Segment Two “Millicent and Therese.” Voiceover journaling recounts the family innuendo, cunning sister, fatal accidents, and satanism books on the shelf, but our prudish sibling won't let these perversions continue. All the lewd, sordid mentions are just talk done in one room confrontations – leaving enough saucy to the imagination in this near one woman show as a little voodoo puts the sibling rivalry into her own hands. Sure, it's obvious what's happening by time we see this tawdry sister in hot pants and platform shoes listening on the phone extension. However, it's taut fun, and I wish there were more star of the week, one actress in small set piece presentations today. “Amelia” adds one ugly little but cute in its own twisted way Zuni fetish tribal statue with a miniature spear, sharp teeth, and instructions on not removing its gold chain or the spirit inside will be released. .Awkward chats on the phone with mom provide comforting exposition while building drama – she wants to move on with her wild seventies kitchen, seriously floral wallpaper, shiny orange appliances, and bright teal carpet. Our tiny guy disappears under the couch, and initially, the talking to oneself is bemusing until bloody ankles, low camera angles, and tracking zooms across the floor create fear. Our young woman is home alone with scary sounds, hissing, and blood on her white robe. Yes, it is just a puppet, but the frenetic editing creates scares as this little sucker climbs up the bedskirt and sticks a stolen knife under the door. How does one explain this emergency when calling the police for help? Wrapping him in a towel or holding him under the water won't do the trick, but trapping him in a suitcase just might! Though hysterical as much as it is scary, this little battle makes for a memorable and wildly entertaining finish.

Dark Shadows: Collection 16

Dark Shadows Collection 16 Steamrolls Forward

by Kristin Battestella

The macabre soap opera Dark Shadows continues its DVD Collection 16 deep into the 1897 storyline with another forty episodes of cliffhangers, time travel, possessions, prophecies, and vendettas.

Time traveling vampire Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid) is re-entombed in his coffin by the warlock Count Petofi (Thayer David), who is intent on escaping Madga Rakosi's (Grayson Hall) gypsy vengeance in 1897 by traveling to the future with werewolf Quentin Collins (David Selby) – the concerned uncle of young Jamison (David Henesy), who is possessed by 1969's David Collins. Unfortunately, the witch Angelique (Lara Parker) has other marital plans for Quentin, leaving the possessed Charity Trask (Nancy Barrett), jealous maid Beth Chavez (Terry Crawford), and painter Charles Delaware Tate's (Roger Davis) perfect women come to life Amanda Harris (Donna McKechnie) with broken-hearted, violent, and trigger happy threats to the Collins Family future.

Disc 1 begins where Collection 15 left off with disruptions to the time traveling answers and Collins children past and present at risk. Numerous players know what's happening – the vampires, paradoxes, and possessions are no longer secret – raising the battle of wills with all manner of supernatural then and now. Who in Collinsport doesn't have a paranormal problem? Visions part truth and part deceptions create an entertaining yet eerie mix of who is who, past or present, and living or dead blending together. Characters learning of their own suicides from their future ghosts is wild stuff, but the fantastic is handled with sincerity, earnest, and sophistication. A lot is happening at once, but vampires can't help from the coffin and the werewolf can't be called upon for heroics during the full moon. Vicious murders push the daytime television envelope while hooded executioners provide well done suspense. Most of the cast is involved in multiple stories, and the supernatural tangents intersect with new connections and surprises. Is it convoluted at times? Yes. Preposterous? Absolutely! However, Dark Shadows sticks with its own mechanics, allowing for unreliable I Ching attempts and garbled future messages while the mystical paintings, gypsy angst, and possession puzzles maintain an impressive complexity. Action scenes and paranormal visuals balance the traditional two shot soap opera conversations, and mini cliffhangers keep the extensive 1897 tales moving. Dark Shadows doesn't toil over one event – something critical happens every half hour thanks to interesting tricks, unique spells, and a spooky variety not seen elsewhere. It's tough to summarize all the fake talismans, man created women, and ghostly abductions, but references to the 1969 present recall the time travel goals and lay the 1897 exit groundwork. The cast has a good time with some of the crazy dialogue – even as they try not to laugh at the infamous flubs and teleprompter glances. It's dynamite when characters who haven't met do so, and emotional anchors swell as the fantastics go for broke. The alternating plots are interwoven well, and the opening narrations provide the essentials when the heavy finales don't repeat the more outrageous turmoil, poisons, or you know, sword wielding suspense. 

 

Dark Shadows puts its own paranormal spin on the usual soap opera greed, and cutaway kisses or cameras framed by the brass bed suggest more saucy. Everyone is at each other's throats, and the tense atmosphere builds as coming and going characters go over the cliff – literally. Gunpoint confrontations and murder confessions escalate as witches counter warlocks, and the vampire's tricks don't always work, either. More gypsy vendettas and skeletons from the future add to the rolling paranormal problems – possessions are solved but there's a real time full moon amid prophetic harbingers and death dates. Enemies sit together and have a brandy, waiting for who will blink first, and the villainous malice or dangers to the timeline are felt with magical gifts given and taken away. The audience isn't always sure how The Collins Family is going to get out of the latest enemy's enemy is my friend ruthlessness, creating great viewer immersion. Watch one episode of Dark Shadows and you're hooked by the countdowns and deadly engagements. The self-aware characters wonder what kind of newspapers headlines they would make, and the bright red blood remains soap opera shocking alongside a witch hypnotizing a man to write a suicide note and put the pistol to his temple. Twisted! Astral projections go awry, and one wouldn't think there is anywhere left to go so deep into these 1897 plots. However, letters written in 1897 are read in 1969 just in the nick of time, and Dark Shadows spends several episodes in its present, bringing the ominous facts full circle with ghosts, bloody flashbacks, and jealous women. Certainly, there are inconsistencies with dates and alternate or negated timelines – after all, the fly by night production never expected to be seen again much less with today's finite detail. Fortunately, the interference, rejections, redemption, and big supernatural toppers on Collection 16 make it easy to overlook any trivialities. The fatal prophecies come together as new players knock on Collinwood's door on Disc 3, and intense zooms accent the suspense, dark romanticism, and dying for love morose. I get so caught up in it all, at times I forget to take review notes!

Deadlines approach, and the old grandfather clock sounds the hour as the guns are fired, creating great television timing on top of the scorned women angst. Mystical bargains and curses bought or sold with Oscar Wilde flair trap the afflicted and layer the intense deliveries as we are preternaturally parallel and watching both 1969 times and 1897 stories at once. Episode 839 would seem to resolve the ghosts and fatal pasts with all is well second chances and onscreen questions asked and satisfactorily answered. However, more werewolf troubles and bodily possessions then and now remain. On Dark Shadows, most people accept rather than balk at the supernatural, so nobody ever goes to the authorities over some cyanide or disembodied bodies. Train tickets and packed suitcases don't mean anyone can escape out of Dodge, either. Stolen portraits, late messages, and all aboard whistles add suspense in Episode 850 alongside Dark Shadows' hallmark dream sequences. Series star Jonathan Frid is absent on Disc 2 before being withheld again on Disc 4 of Collection 16, and there are also several episodes with no pre-Barnabas cast members – proving Dark Shadows has enough ensemble merit and storytelling integrity without relying on its established laurels. This is a huge cast, and it's not uncommon for even significant players to be excused with legitimate if zany reasons. The assorted threats behind each door of the I Ching gone wrong may seem repetitive like the earlier Dream Curse refrains, but these deadly Rube Goldbergs and bloody surprises aren't boring or laughable frights. The Kitty Soames reincarnation identity crisis, however, is redundant. If she isn't helping or hindering the Petofi plot, then she is an unnecessary disservice to the I Ching exit potential. 1897 didn't have to take this upcoming 1796 detour on Collection 17, and Dark Shadows should have returned directly to the 1969 werewolf story to begin the dreaded Leviathan tale on a better foot. Though slightly obvious, the switcharoos over the final three episodes on Collection 16 use magic rings and a diabolical touch for a wild finish. The 1897 tangent isn't over yet, as unknown prices must be paid. 

 

Too many people know his vampire secrets, and Jonathan Frid's poor Barnabas Collins is trying to keep the present family alive by jeopardizing those in his current past. He bluffs at gunpoint, but Barnabas can't argue with the sunrise. He's trapped in his coffin and stripped of his powers, lamenting how his condition impedes him, however the good guy vampire also misuses his talents when necessary. Fortunately, Barnabas is chuffed when future communiques assure all is well, and more daytime cures from Julia can help him finish his mission while romancing Kitty Soames. Of course, Lara Parker's “perennial bad penny” Angelique will have none of that, although she is unflustered to hear her 1968 Cassandra Collins nom de plum – admitting she was there, or rather, will be. Some of her fiery prayers and amulets repeat the Laura Collins Phoenix feelings, however her voodoo effigies remain campy fun. Angelique uses her powers to aide the family, but wants to marry Quentin for some good Collins standing. While he detests her and she only likes him, Angelique suggests he learn to love her as his jailer. She enjoys telling Beth about the impending nuptials, and Julia is reluctant to accept her help. Although Angelique is right that loving Barnabas leads to nothing but misery – not like that's her fault or anything! Early on Collection 16, Grayson Hall's Madga Rakosi is left out to pasture by Count Petofi with undead gypsies and big soap opera slaps. An entire episode dedicated to her running around in circles and hiding in the fake woods is bemusingly over the top, but Madga's outspoken sassy can't work if she's bewitched into being unable to say Petofi's name. It's a pity to retire Madga, but Hall's beloved 1969 Doctor Julia Hoffman returns to Dark Shadows half way through Collection 16. She makes big decisions when Barnabas is in trouble and risks returning to the haunted Collinwood for answers before tripping into 1897 herself. No, those sixties fashions won't stand out, not at all! Despite wishing to return to the future with Barnabas, Julia gets the period substitutes for his transfusions. Unfortunately, Petofi coerces and tests her apparently impervious abilities before threatening Kathryn Leigh Scott's Kitty Soames. Unlike Scott's earlier 1897 do-gooder Rachel Drummond – who was also said to resemble Josette yet there's no mention of Kitty resembling Rachel – Kitty is a gold digger with upscale Victorian mourning style and her sights set on Edward Collins' money. Until she meets Barnabas, that is.

His own ghost comes back to haunt David Selby's Quentin Collins, and it's excellent to see a character originally so terrifying to children become the tormented anti hero we're rooting for against Petofi's dire criss cross. Quentin cares for Beth, but pushes her away as he drowns his sorrows with brandy and gramophone music, writing a goodbye note rather than enduring another werewolf night. Fortunately, his mysterious portrait proves helpful against the lycanthrope curse in Episode 832, leaving him free for Petofi to use his loyalty to Barnabas against him. He refuses to believe predictions on his falling out with Jamison and doesn't always trust Julia's plans. Quentin may act like he doesn't care about his family, but he wants to do good and grows conflicted when playing both sides or setting up Barnabas. However, it is hysterical when he must wrangle the knife wielding Charity without spilling his drink! The Quentin we met at the start of 1897 would have enjoyed marrying Angelique – or at the very least, wouldn't mind conquering her. But now, he merely agrees to keep their arrangement reluctantly pleasant. Selby of course, spends some time delivering Petofi's clipped cruelty late on Collection 16, leaving him not as careful over his portrait as he should be – plots that will certainly affect Dark Shadows in the future. It's great fun to see Quentin and Amanda meet as well. One miracle night without stunt werewolf Alex Stevens and Quentin is back to being a wolf on the make. It must be the real sideburns! Thankfully, he's aware he deserves no time with girls who would be dead if they met his other, more hairy, fangful face. Quentin makes plans to run away with Amanda, telling her he now needs happy lyrics for Shadows in the Night to remind him of her. Oh smooth, Quentin, smooth. 

 

The Hand of Count Petofi is back in place on Thayer David's villain as the chess player blackmails and possesses. The bug glasses and harsh up close shots make viewers want to withdraw from his shady presence, but David keeps Petofi wonderfully camp and manipulative. He holds everyone's secrets and gives people a taste of his gifts, ever so suave as he tells them what they want to hear. Petofi uses that killer hand and gives frightful, mystical visions while sitting in his rocking chair. His social calls are an excuse to recount his list of evil deeds – he has one god and his name is Petofi – but there are limits to his skills and his magic isn't always as he intended. Petofi has his own powerful enemies – he's on borrowed time and resolute in escaping to the future. He spills drinks and puffs smoke when frazzled by his fear and hatred of gypsies but remains proud to have no ill dreams over the hundreds he's killed. Petofi wants everyone to act out their scene as he has planned, telling people when their part to play in the drama is over or to change as he chooses. He enjoys putting the triumph of his subjects just within reach as they threaten to kill him in their idle foolishness. Of course, Thayer David also appears the ghost of Sandor Rakosi in two episodes alongside double duty as that 1969 realist so in the dark about the Collins' secrets Professor Stokes. The multi-talented David juggles these personas wonderfully before finally, desperately trying to prove he is Quentin Collins in Count Petofi's body – but more on that in Collection 17.

Nancy Barrett's Charity Trask sees Quentin for what he is – she's scared and admits it, growing bold, gaining confidence, and speaking her mind until Petofi literally takes away her voice. It's a shocking scene when Dark Shadows essentially kills off Charity to permanently replace her with Pansy Faye's personality. It's a terrible, bleak violation making her song bittersweet with sad psychic manipulations and discussions on madness versus possession. However, Pansy remains blissfully ignorant in some ways, providing a lighthearted sassy and can can fun – now that is a hot pink boa! As Pansy, she stands up to Trask, hitting home the crazy, mad Alice style and performance within a performance by Barrett. The jealous, violent Pansy is easily triggered and her superimposed visions and voiceover prophecies are chilling. She moves out and gets a job at The Blue Whale, but Terry Crawford as former maid Beth Chavez is still hanging on at Collinwood. She wants to runaway – even packs her lovely green dresses – but can she escape her predestined ghostly fate? Beth fears death but she's tired of suicide talk, betrayals, and living in other people's lives with their wills held over her. Unfortunately, Beth says her own life is worth little and makes her anguish over Quentin worse by allying with Petofi. She snaps, too, going gun crazy with predicted revelations. Despite some differences from the original haunting storyline, it's wild to see history repeating itself, for the first time, again – something that only makes sense on Dark Shadows. Newcomer Donna McKechnie's Amanda Harris begins in cahoots with Tim Shaw's entrapment games, but the two years young perfect woman inadvertently created by Charles Delaware Tate's painting is soon disgusted by Trask and Shaw's abuses. Amanda's reveals come early on Collection 16, making room for her involvement in almost every plot. She wants money, safety, and man stability, but Amanda remains trapped by Shaw, a messenger to Petofi, pursued by Trask, and owned by Tate. Each wants her to belong to him, molding her for himself, and Amanda is indeed not quite her own person – until she falls in love with Quentin Collins perhaps. She wants to be somebody, a real person who's really loved not just an unnatural figment of someone else's imagination. It's an honest, relatable circumstance despite the fantastics, and Amanda's final fate later on Collection 18 is one of the things I always remember from first watching Dark Shadows reruns as a kid. 

 

With some magical artistry courtesy of Count Petofi, Roger Davis' Charles Delaware Tate paints Quentin's Dorian Gray portrait. Tate's conflicted about his gifts – worrying over the how and why rather than being grateful – but I am still not a fan of Davis' cranky, sarcastic delivery and over the top manhandling with his props. The stalling, Shatner-esque flubs may match the reluctant artist attitude, but his touchy feely lack of chemistry with Amanda is unlikable and his selfish need to tell her everything about her existence is plain cruel. Tate holds her past over her, entering Collinwood or people's private rooms demanding ownership of his creation, and he's eager to marry Amanda just to test if she knows how to love. Gross! Disc 3 sags when his plot is at the forefront, and I don't miss his fifth wheel when the character is absent. Fortunately, Tate learns his lesson, taking several seats thanks to Petofi and a set trashing row with Quentin, breakaway glass and all. Likewise, Don Briscoe's greedy and power hungry Tim Shaw uses Amanda as revenge on Trask with verbal insults and more implied. Shaw intends to use Tate's abilities for himself, shoehorning his way into plots we've already seen after having served his purpose. His reach is long, but that magically indestructible confession is rightfully coming back to haunt Jerry Lacy's ruthless Reverend Trask. He is more than ready to sit in the courting chair with his hand on Amanda's shoulder while discussing the firmness of his faith, and the camera zooms in on his glee as he waxes on resisting one's weaknesses. He claims the paranormal is merely demons and uses his godly prayers to justify his personal nasty. Despite his insistence that the devil is everywhere in his house, Trask worries about everyone's brandy habits before facing the vampires and werewolves under his nose – and he doesn't have much time to help his possessed daughter Charity. Ironically, Trask proves weak willed and easily hypnotized by Angelique, but he gains the upper hand after walking in on the chained up Quentin: “I won't ask why...you've manacled yourself...”

Not only is Humbert Allen Astredo's black magic lawyer Evan Handley unseen on Collection 16, but Dark Shadows matriarch Joan Bennett is also absent as the committed Judith Collins Trask. Although Paul Michael's King Johnny Romano is brief, his vengeful presence, imposing interrogations, underhanded taunts, and wicked knife play haunt Count Petofi throughout Collection 16 – unlike Michael Stroka as Petofi's “dear boy” Aristede. He says he's not afraid but Aristede shouts for “His Excellency” and views Beth as the competition. He grows upset at Julia suggesting Petofi isn't as great as he thinks he is and gets slapped around for failing the Count. Fortunately, Aristede enjoys roughing up Petofi when theit situation is reversed late on Collection 16, and he comes in handy for stabbing gypsies in the back. Petofi says Aristede has no love of culture but he keeps him on for his torturous, violent revelry. Hmm.... Young Denise Nickerson only appears briefly on Collection 16 as both Amy Jennings – critical in discovering a secret letter in 1969 – and Nora Collins – a messenger from Quentin caught by Trask. However, David Henesy's Jamison is used as a channel to his 1969 counterpart David Collins. He recalls how Quentin's ghost tormented David and returns to normal in Episode 836 with terrible snippets of his Petofi possessions. All the paranormal on Dark Shadows, yet it is the simple innocence and betrayal of a child that anchors the first half of Collection 16. Louis Edmunds appears quickly as Roger Collins before resuming his 1897 mantle as the bewitched into being a butler Edward Collins. Once cured of his subservient mentality, Edward immediately returns to his angry pursuit of Barnabas in an unlikely alliance with Petofi. He argues with Trask over the family bills and remains a non-believer even when all the spectacular on Dark Shadows is spelled out for him. Edward interferes with crucial I Ching trances, calling such hocus pocus the reason for the family's suffering, but ultimately he admits that in his zeal to stop their pains, he hasn't really been the best at being his brothers' keeper. Now that's an understatement! 

 

Despite fake greenery and AstroTurf underfoot, phantom winds, storms, smoke, and real fire keep the atmosphere well in hand – forgiving the primitive designs with tense, lights out spooky. The stone mill facades are wobbly yet remain tricked out with fine settees, four poster beds, blue candles, and gas or early electric lamps. While there are gowns with fine period silhouettes and colorful if stereotypical Romani designs, other costumes are garish pink and green with tacky embellishments and the 1969 orange striped ties are terrible. The Hand of Count Petofi also remains crusty even when reattached, however that gruesome matches the sickly green spotlights, ghoulish faces, and bloody red fangs. While the superimposed ghosts and disembodied effects are blue screen obvious literally rough around the edges, such shocks are doubly effective as both an audience surprise and a character fright. Creaking coffins, slamming doors, banging windows, wolf howls, and ominous voiceovers are on point with Bob Cobert's music – even if the sounds miss their cue. It's simply hysterical when angry men try to break a brandy glass in their bare hand but can't – and the crackling sound effect happens anyway! It wouldn't be Dark Shadows without innate tape hiccups, bloopers, onscreen crew members, equipment gaffes, or bulky cameras unable to get out of the frame fast enough. The teleporting afghan guest stars along with that intrusive Collinsport Fly while chained coffins are easily locked or speedily broken as needed. It takes one scene cutaway to dig a grave, drop the body, and refill the fake dirt just by removing one's jacket, and speedy Beth can run the miles from Petofi's Mill to Collinwood by seamlessly exiting one door and entering the next. Although Pansy's song can be tiring, the anachronistic dressings amid quick 1969 and 1897 furniture turnarounds are bemusing. Despite its production flaws, Dark Shadows also has well done artistic shots with intercut filming, mirror asides, strategic zooms, and psychedelic spins accenting that quintessential time travel trippy. 

 

After re-watching through other Dark Shadows sets, it was surprisingly easy to return for a Collection 16 marathon. I started with two episodes at a time before devouring a disc a night! Though opening at a good introductory moment, the multiple stories here so comparatively close to the timeline's end make Collection 16 not exactly the best place to jump into 1897. Delightful supernatural twists with paranormal hindrances spearhead each episode, and a crazy cliffhanger leads directly to next set. Like one potato chip, there's just no stopping after Dark Shadows DVD Collection 16.

 

Top Ten: Dracula!

 

Welcome to our new Top Tens series in celebration of I Think, Therefore I Review's Tenth Anniversary! These monthly lists will highlight special themes and topics from our extensive archive of reviews.

This time I Think, Therefore I Review presents in chronological order...

Our Top Ten Dracula Appearances!

Nosferatu

Dracula (1931)

Dracula (1931 Spanish Version)

Horror of Dracula

Dan Curtis' Dracula

Count Dracula (1977)

Dracula (1979)

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Dracula 2000

Dracula (2013 series)

 

Enjoy our vampire label or Horror page for even more!

 

I Think, Therefore I Review began as the blog home for previously published reviews and reprinted critiques by horror author Kristin Battestella. Naturally older articles linked here may be out of date and codes or formatting may be broken. Please excuse any errors and remember our Top Tens will generally only include films, shows, books, or music previously reviewed at I Think, Therefore I Review.