Ladies, Demons, and Blindfolds

Ladies, Demons, and Blindfolds

by Kristin Battestella

This trio of recent chillers features outdoor scares and forest frights as well as bedroom turmoil and sight unseen terrors for these tough damsels in demonic distress. Whew!

Bird Box – Foreboding radio reports, risky rapids, blindfolds, and children not allowed to talk belie the lovely rivers and still forests of this 2018 Netflix thriller directed by Susanne Bier (The Night Manager) starring Sandra Bullock (Practical Magic), Sarah Paulson (American Horror Story), Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight), John Malkovich (Shadow of the Vampire), and B.D. Wong (Awake). Nothingness point of views from behind the blindfold accent the backpacks, lead lines, titular pets, riverside boats, and rowing toward the dangers unknown. If you look you will die, and mom means business as fog and water perils add to the lack of sight unease. Five years before, our mom-to-be is arguing with her sister and painting art full of disconnected, lonely people. These women have realistic conversations with layered dialogue and familial quips, but the relatable doubts about motherhood and everyday big decisions degrade into mass crowds, suicide reports, sudden hysteria, and panic as something seen by some but not others results in slow motion car accidents, road rage, and shocking deaths. Unlikely strangers fearing demons or religious judgment and arming themselves are thrust together amid busy signals, screaming cell phone calls, no media, and no military help. Is this some new biological warfare making people see something that kills themselves? Birds sense the danger and faint growling, but cameras are to no avail and our family on the river will only remove their blindfolds when huddled under blankets as the story goes back and forth between their journey with static on the radio and our previously housebound survivors concerned with rationing and the pregnant women among them. It's tough to think about baby names when electricity, supplies, and shotgun shells won't last. No one was prepared for the apocalypse to happen that day. Do they let others inside their abode or listen to voices on the riverbank saying it is okay to take off the blindfolds? Desperate runs to the nearby supermarket for essentials such as canned goods, toilet paper, diapers, booze, and electronics use GSP only with windows blacked out, tape over the cameras, and proximity sensors to warn when something comes near. The slow burn suspense allows time for these disparate strangers to forge late friendships amid fears they are all going to die and debates about living versus surviving in these topsy-turvy circumstances. Some briefly consider staying in the supermarket – leaving others behind while they maintain all they need despite the escalating violence outside. Whiskey talking admits how bleak the situation is while others hope things may get better. However, five years later our mother is still rowing toward the unknown possibility of safety as the family dangers on the boat increase. Of course, a few people do some foolish things, and there may have been other options than taking the most dangerous course of action. The supposedly helpful birds are useful or forgotten as needed alongside somewhat obvious metaphors about the people being who's actually box-bound and resorting to new, heightened senses. Understandably, the tension escalates when outside influences are let in – one by one people are lost as suspicious newcomers knock and hopeful possibilities end with appropriately blunt gunfire and shootouts. Training to survive without sight becomes paramount while terror in the home, outdoor separations, and family sacrifices test the temptation to look. Thanks to the courage and horror drama here with frights real and fantastic, there's no need for any spoon fed twist, toppers, scary movie cliches, or bombastic in your face. The multi-layered studies and suspense are well-interwoven, progressing naturally as the isolated settings allow the performances and storytelling to carry the must see intensity.

Pyewacket – Daughter Nicole Munoz (Defiance) invokes the eponymous evil to kill mom Laurie Holden (The Walking Dead) in this 2017 Canadian parable featuring creaking forests, goth rebels, and can't take it back terrors. Our widowed mother is doing her best to keep it together and wants a fresh start, but moving is the worst thing for a teen with awkward crushes and an inseparable BFF. Relatable conversations on support versus instability, transferring schools, driving, and bad influences endear both ladies to the audience – even her friends insist parents are just as screwed up as teenagers are. Likewise the music is in the background rather than overwhelming viewers, a realistic rather than Hollywood choice as the camera follows this goth gang through the school hallways. We're the fifth member of the group and caught in the middle from the backseat as the vengeful spell casting looms. Pizza, a relatively small cabin, mom needing a weekend job, and say hey, a Latina lead, yes please – it's as if writer and director Adam MacDonald (Backcountry) had a list of horror cliches and insists on how not to incorporate them. Although it's not expressly said to be Halloween, fallen leaves, pumpkins, cawing crows, and owl motifs accent the occult primer, sage, chants, binding rituals, and blood bowls. Despite the careful preparation and craft materials, there's an underlying sense of a not listening teen doing something she shouldn't – especially when mom apologizes and the gals bond over memories of the deceased. Her friends think this is all just acting out for attention, but soon enough indeed our daughter regrets the ritual. Unfortunately, a locked door can't keep out Pyewacket. Ominous knocks and creepy attic access escalate to vehicular frights, and innocuous shots – shadows about the house, rustling in the woods – become suspect while we wait for the subtly disturbing entity. Overhead slow spins and gradual zooms build unease as friends disappear before the camera shakes with unreliable delirium thanks to unfinished rituals, unexplained appearances, and darkness. Is this evil trickery mounting or is a scared teen roaming in the disorienting woods? Are forgiveness and reverse spells enough to put everything right when this festering horror was summoned in spite of be careful what you wish for warnings? Visions of the dead, distorted vocal inflections, rattling doorknobs, and pleas to be let in provide terror as this freaky manifestation is revealed. Some may not like the quick finale, but knives, gasoline, fiery mistakes, and a bitter comeuppance create a creepy atmosphere that does what it is says on the tin. Those skinny pants, however, are not going to look good in a few years.

For a Drinking Game Maybe?

Mara – Sleep paralysis statistics and fears of demonic possession open this 2018 thriller starring Olga Kurylenko (Centurion) amid children's bedroom terrors and behind closed door screams. Ticking clocks and blue lighting set off the creepy drawings, mental evaluations, and witnesses recounting their sleep demon experience – weighed down on the mattress and unable to breath. Unfortunately, there are too many of those Horror Movie Cliches I'm Tired of Seeing contrivances interfering with what should be an interesting story. Character sympathies and our strong woman psychologist in a tough policeman's world jar against the forced scary elements, making the titular ominous as laughable as the overly dramatic slow motion, arias, and ripped teddy bear on the floor. At times this wants to be a standard procedural using jump drives, CCTV, crime scene notes, and tablet technology, but then our gal goes off to a mysterious address without notifying police and listens to sleep deprived crackpot theories to learn about the sleep demon rather than just, you know, Googling it. The detective is right to remind her she's out of bounds, for this psychologist is easily bothered by what seems like a routine case. After hearing sufferers admit this sleep demon sounds like crazy talk, we're not surprised when the trapped sleep and stilted breathing happens to her – there's never any doubt this is a monster not delusion or delirium thanks to early reveals and unnecessarily spooky compromising any innate suspense. From a divorcing couple and their child to prayer freaks, disturbed veterans, and our psychologist with a crazy mom past, everyone who sees Mara has other issues yet nobody wonders what's really causing their sleepless nights. Hypnotic ceiling fans, fiery deaths, and gasping paralysis build scares, but bemusing bloodshot eye markings and demon mythology deflate the terror. Mara doesn't kill you right away, but comes in four assault stages that can't happen if you only sleep in twenty minute shifts. Predictable encounters and dream jump shocks tread tires while our agitated sleepless victims are more annoying than believable. With today's technology no one sets up a camera for proof? The notion to involve more science and sleep monitoring comes too late, and the doctors blame The X-Files and pop culture for scaring people anyway. Weak paranoia and guilt metaphors provide no payoff to the psychologist's suicidal schizophrenic mother backstory, but Olga's look becomes increasingly frazzled – physically changing her appearance rather than addressing her turmoil. Car accidents and fighting to stay awake chases in the finale could have been the entire strung out focus, but time is wasted on the demon doing both in your face screams and taking its sweet, creaking time to inch toward the victim. When we finally get to the desperate cutting off of the eye lids, it's just gore and a thin idea run out of steam. Although this could have been much better and seems content to be repetitive and Elm Street derivative, it can be a mildly entertaining late night watch or bemusing drinking game if you aren't looking for something really scary or expect any real sense of dread.

Centurion (2010)

Centurion Packs a Fun Action Punch

By Kristin Battestella

After my disappointment with The Last Legion, I was keen to see 2010’s other Ninth Legion spectacle, Centurion. Now that I’ve been obsessed with the film’s star Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class, Shame) for over a year, this Roman road rage movie from director Neil Marshall is a doubly good yarn.

Centurion Quintus Dias (Fassbender) is captured by Pict leader Gorlacon (Ulrich Thomsen, The World is Not Enough) but escapes to rejoin General Flavius Virilus (Dominic West) and the Ninth Legion.  Unfortunately, the Ninth Legion is subsequently decimated in a Pict attack thanks to the trickery of their scout Etain (Olga Kurylenko) - a deadly tracker who had her tongue cut out by the Romans.  Dias and fellow soldiers Brick (Liam Cunningham), Bothos (David Morrissey), Thax (J.J. Feild, Captain America), Marcus (Noel Clarke, Doctor Who), and cook Tarak (musician Riz Ahmed) survive the raid and learn Virilus has been captured by Gorlacon.  They attempt a rescue in the wilds of Caledonia, but Etain’s pursuit drives the Romans deeper into the frosty and deadly highlands.

 

I like writer and director Neil Marshall’s Dog Soldiers very much, and the same mix of character fun, action, and surprises again carries Centurion.  While Fassbender’s narration is fine, with just the right intriguing old world voice adding thought and realism to the opening violence, our tale is a little disjointed to start. The voiceover comes and goes throughout the film, and a little too much time is taken to set up each scene and establish location after location. Thankfully, once Marshall’s real hunter/huntee story gets going, things move along just fine.  Ironically, everything in Centurion’s trailer is taken from that first troublesome 10 minutes of the movie, and yet, this isn’t a bad thing. Not only is it nice to not be spoiled by a preview, but the trailer gives us the action that starts off Centurion and thus leaves the serious segments, a little romance, and a touch of humor as unexpected pleasures.  The culturally well-rounded cast is also very pleasing to see- even if some may somehow find the blend unrealistic. Is the language anachronistic? Yes.  While there’s no doubt soldiers were foul mouthed back then, the modern slang isn’t over abundantly used ala A Knight’s Tale and the f-bombs don’t detract from the film. What is a little more irritating is that the unfortunate dialogue seems too undeveloped first draft or even borrowed ideology.  Soldiers ‘do the dying’ is too Starship Troopers, while the rumors of an enemy not eating, sleeping, and never stopping in their unhuman quest sounds straight out of The Searchers. This broad scripting and iffy footing hinder what could have seriously strengthened Centurion into Gladiator glory or hidden gem status like Black Death.

Fortunately, there are several fine underlying themes of loneliness and outsidership layering Centurion. Brigantes orphan Etain is not truly of the Picts, and Quintus grew up with gladiators, not soldiers.  Numidian Marcos and legionnaire Leonidas (hehe) are via Greece, Tarak is a Hindu Kush cook, and Imogen Poots (Jane Eyre) is not exactly happy as the cast out Pict witch Arianne. Everyone is on the wrong side or in the wrong place or isn’t where they really want to be- adding some dimension to what should be a straightforward chase flick.   Wow, a little inside journey amid all the fast-paced blood, decapitations, and marathons in this big, violent spectacle!  Okay, so parts of Centurion play like an overlong knock-off of The Three Hunters scenes in The Two Towers. Sometimes it’s tough to know who the heck is who amid the full Roman dressings and bloody battle gear.  A few folks even seem kind of unnecessary, I grant you.  Nevertheless, the action package with drama bonuses here is better than similar cross-culture clashes like Pathfinder or that completely confused Arthurian/Ninth combo The Last Legion or the 2004 King Arthur.  Centurion explores villainy and sympathy on both sides of Hadrian’s Wall.  The Romans- who did wrong by Etain and those injustices are certainly mentioned - are the good guys being chased, right?  Etain should be the bad girl, and the Picts aren’t saints, but we definitely understand their problem with the Roman occupation and can enjoy their revenge.  Quintus’ growing Pict mentality mirrors Etain’s pursuit skills- which is a nice, if expected, parallel. There’s great camaraderie among our rag tag Roman fugitives, too. The soldiers have to introduce themselves to each other, which is a sneaky way to slip the exposition in over a fireside meal. Time is taken to know the characters and expand Centurion- though I do wish there was more full-on character development and realization of ideas only hinted at or touched upon. 

We shouldn’t be surprised that someone from 300 (technically two some ones with Dominic West appearing) is playing a badass centurion, and yet it’s very easy to accept the Irish-German Michael Fassbender as the titular Roman.  Before Fully Realizing The Fass, I kept going, ‘Where do I know that guy from? Haven’t I seen that guy before?’ His concluding declaration in the trailer, “I am a soldier of Rome! I will not yield!” was actually what solidified Centurion as a must see film for me, even BF (Before Fass). Some actors can make such a defiance kind of laughable.  Really, Tom Cruise in a Roman legion- bull and a load of it!  When Fassbender roars such, however, we believe him.  While Centurion is obviously not as quality as the likes of Hunger and Fish Tank finery, Fassbender as Quintus nonetheless bundles up with dirty travel, rage, and rough sword fighting. He commands the audience’s uncompromising attention throughout, and the aforementioned narration makes Quintus personal, soulful, would-be heroic.  I was surprised to hear in an interview recently that Fassbender himself didn’t like Centurion or was displeased with his acting here.  Even if the material given to them is somewhat unrealized, the performances here are top form and keep Centurion from being just a total chopfest. 

I’ve no doubt Fassbender gave his usual chameleon fervor while making this picture. Otherwise, how in the hell could this decidedly non-Roman Irish dude look and sound so Ben-Hur? Fassy also looks spiffy on horseback; it needs to be said- even if that goofy helmet hampers his first lead stateside just a little bit!  Fortunately, Fassbender’s great use of languages is delightful, and I confess, sometimes I just like to listen to him. Visually lovely as Centurion is, I may have listened to it in the background while I type more times than I’ve actually seen it!   Quintus is a great soldier, yet flawed in his leadership.  He doubts himself internally but unflinchingly does what he has to do- this is not a super pretty Fassy movie for the ladies thanks to the dirt and violence.  And yet, there’s a touch of romantic softness here that breaks the action with serious reflection and takes time to sit down with our fine cast amid all the crazy pursuits. Imogen Poots’ initially unexpected but somewhat obvious and broadly written Arianne doesn’t make Centurion super sappy by any means. Her tragic and exiled supposed necromancer is well done in one on one scenes with the sensitive Fassy. Strange that it needs to be said do to the violent nature of the film, but Centurion is not a chick flick-although I think some new Fass ladies may indeed find it as such. I must also share that it is a little weird to not be writing about Fassbender from my own initial unknowing or his own then-obscurity.  Does one look at Centurion and see an Oscar winner the way Shame is getting hardware acclaim? No. But do you see someone who has all the ingredients to become a star? Abs-o-tute-ly!

Though billed quite highly for what is a somewhat smaller role in Centurion, Dominic West (also in The Devil’s Whore with a pre-famous Fassbender, too) doesn’t have much to chew on as beloved Roman General Flavius Virilus.  He’s fun and fits the part of, well, a beloved Roman General. He arm wrestles with the men, they’d die for him, he’s ruthless but loyal, and kicks ass to the end. Fin. Some viewers might also have a major problem with a Bond Girl in Ancient Britain, but I like Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) as the non-speaking and looking deadly Etain. For a babe, she does fine with what’s given to her, and be honest; it’s tough anytime a performer can’t talk. Kurylenko’s freaky eyes and svelte intensity have no time for exposition and carry a sexy and predatory menace.  Etain isn’t dressed skimpy like its One Million Years B.C. either, which helps her to be taken seriously in this kick ass role reversal. After all, she’s not really a villain- the Romans made her do it!  As physical and full of presence as Fassbender is, it’s great to see Quintus and Etain go head to head, and Kurlenko keeps up! Liam Cunningham (Hunger, Dog Soldiers) and David Morrissey (State of Play, Red Riding) are also great sardonic bastards, old soldiers who can call some of Centurion’s internal crap out when they see it. Though loveably cranky together, I do worry they are a little too much of the same cloth. As to the other guys’ likeability? Eh, not so much. We simply dislike whom we’re supposed to dislike or never get to know the rest. It seems seven men on the run was a bit too much for Centurion.

Would Centurion have been better as a complete, serious historical drama? Probably.  Was Marshall going for drama above action? No, and the visual presentation here is very cool.  The photography, colors, and choreography look good. We don’t have modern herky-jerky camerawork; we can see every sword swipe and axe chop in what smartly seems more like natural, saturated, grainy wartime video. The aerial footage and snowy mountain locations are lovely, along with sharp camera angles and nontraditional battle filmmaking. Some of the nighttime action is tough to see, but the interior candlelight is perfection. The décor and costuming all around looks and feels authentic. Even if we don’t want to live there thanks to the ruthless fighting and harsh climate, we want to stay awhile thanks to cute, warm riverside huts and tents filled with Roman finery. The stylized violence is meant to be priority in Centurion, and those battle scenes are indeed sweet.   The clashing of Roman organization mixed with Pict guerilla butchery is well done. Technically, Centurion can really go either way with an audience.  Historical lovers reading into the subtext and statements will not like the gore galore, but action viewers can just mute Centurion and see all the pleasing battle glory.  The rousing music- both high marches and bittersweet to accentuate somber slow motion- caps it all off, too.  But of course, the battle violence is always louder than the conversations, the onscreen translations are tough to see, and some names or plot elements are confusing without subtitles.  Normally, I don’t like long opening credits, either, as nowadays films just get right to it, but the graphics here are quite cool.  Those words sweeping over the Scottish Highlands are a must see in high definition!

 The cast for Centurion is there, the ideas and interest, layers and subtext are ready to go.  While it delivers on the action and visuals, there is a lingering ‘what could have been’ on the full drama.  It would seem this is bad, but I do really, really like this film. It’s quite entertaining thanks to the cast, and do to my continued confoundedness as to how Channing Tatum succeeds in Hollywood, I’m also not really looking forward to yet another Ninth film speculation, The Eagle.  I do, however, have a few nitpicks from Centurion.  While the accuracy of the Gaelic languages might be a peeve to some, I am too clueless in that area and it sounds of the atmosphere enough for me.  Liam Cunningham, however, is left-handed, a Roman no-no sinistra, and Etain the purported part wolf can sniff men downwind but can’t smell their bloody wounds in a confined hut? There are some inconsistencies, yes, but overall Centurion is a fun action yarn.  Accept it for what it is instead of what it could or should be, and Centurion becomes a bloody Britannia guilty pleasure.  

Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace Still Missing The Bond Mark

By Kristin Battestella

Even after having such a love hate relationship with Daniel Craig’s 2006 Bond debut Casino Royale, I was eager to give his second picture Quantum of Solace a due chance. Unfortunately, director Marc Forster once again strays too far from what makes Bond, well, Bond.

Picking up where Casino Royale left off, Quantum of Solace has MI6 Agent 007 James Bond (Daniel Craig) tracking Mr. White (Jesper Christensen, The Young Victoria) and another Quantum leader, Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric) to Bolivia and beyond. CIA Agent Felix Leiter (Jeffrey Wright) and Bolivian Officer Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko) aide Bond in infiltrating Greene’s environmental schemes, but Bond’s tactics are almost too reckless for MI6’s leader M (Judi Dench) to handle. How far will Bond go in stopping Greene and resolving his dead lover Vesper’s death?

I suppose I shall begin where a proper Bond picture begins and ends-with the ladies. Like Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace portrays women in very unBondlike ways. Craig’s Bond comes and goes with no partner, has a very brief night with Strawberry Fields (a wasted Gemma Arterton, RocknRolla) and skydives with Camille. Wow. Actually, we don’t even hear the full name of Agent Fields onscreen. Why even have a juicy, innuendo-filled name like Strawberry and not say it? Her hyped up and thus spoiled death by being drowned and covered in oil is weak in comparison to Jill Masterson’s fictitious death via goldpaint in Goldfinger. The scene is actually too dang brief, barely anything actually except a rip off thinly dressed as homage. Moreover, the complex, convoluted, heavy handed, and mish mashed plot gives us no reason to care. We spend more time harping on the late Vesper Lyn, inevitably tying Quantum of Solace as a direct sequel to Casino Royale. For this supposedly new, edgy, and rebooted Bond, he’s certainly spending a lot of time in the past, isn’t he? The drudgery doesn’t let the lovely Olga Kurylenko (Max Payne) shine, either. I’d like to see her return and get something more than all that woe. You can’t have both a depressing Bond and the tortured but beautiful leading lady. It’s almost too much of an emotional expectation for the audience. Are we looking for that much emotion in a Bond picture, anyway?

Of course, I can’t really say anything bad about Judi Dench (Notes on A Scandal, Nine, Mrs. Brown) and her continually strong portrayal as M. We get a lot of M again for this installment, and again, she’s not served well by returning writers Paul Haggis (Letters from Imo Jima, Crash, Million Dollar Baby) and Neal Purvis and Robert Wade (The World is Not Enough, Die Another Day). The logistics just don’t add up here. Bond has been rebooted, so we visually might assume M has not been, since it’s the same actress. How, then can she not trust Bond? It’s easy to forget the same M is with a new Bond. We think we can rely on the relationship, but then everything gets turned on the dime. Likewise, Giancarlo Giannini (Man on Fire) as Mathis and Jeffrey Wright (W, Angels in America) as Felix Leiter are wonderful, but underused and exited far too soon. Their scenes might be the best in the film! I dare say the next film’s course should be almost a buddy picture of Leiter and Bond with pieces from Fleming’s 007 in New York. This fine support is being wasted amid obvious and boring modern commentaries that do a lot less than letting a talented cast strut their stuff.

Now then, let’s talk about the man himself. I’ve never really liked a Bond because he’s been so hot and sexy or dreamy. However, in Quantum of Solace, 007 going psycho, flying by the seat of his pants and always getting beat up is not attractive or appealing. Perhaps I’ve been too harsh in saying I hate Daniel Craig and his portrayal of James Bond. I want to like him and his Bond, but he’s so dang heavy! There’s no Brit wit, dry humor, or spy subtleties. For the next film, add some of the old traditions-Bond, James Bond. Shaken, not stirred. Q. Moneypenny- and Bob’s your uncle Craig could be the best Bond ever. Unfortunately, all this action for action’s sake makes Craig’s brooding Bond depressing and unlikable-and unlikable, James Bond is not. You’re supposed to like 007 and root for him no matter what. That’s why we’ve put up with some very lean films over the past thirty years.

Nevertheless, I’m trying not to be mean, for I don’t think Craig is without talent. I’m making a point to watch his other films, in fact. In Tomb Raider, (which I love) he takes hot showers, struts around naked with strategically placed objects covering his tackle; and after an unfulfilling close encounter with Angelina Jolie, he proclaims, ‘Now I need a cold shower!’ I always scream at the television, ‘Why can he do that as Bond?’

Quantum of Solace does have several visual and action proud points. The lesser shown, not necessarily pretty sides of locales like Italy, Panama, and Chile are delightful. The chases are on the one hand, exceptional-but count ‘em by foot, car, boat, and plane! A lot of the action is just too dang much, too intricate and complex and without the triumphant Bond theme to tell us when it’s really cool. Likewise the main titles, theme song, and hi-tech MI6 interfaces are sweet-but I keep thinking of how dated this heavily focused upon technology will seem in a decade. Speaking of technology, the blu-ray is sharp, distinct and clear…. but sensitive and a real pain when it freezes. Quantum of Solace seems so long and loud and headache inducing despite its short 106 minutes.

The fine action in Quantum of Solace competes with itself and can’t hold the viewer amid the repeatedly obvious plot of oil corruption and environmentalism MacGuffins. The intriguing introduction of the Quantum organization is ala SPECTRE, yes, but the geeky yet villainous Greene is again too seriousness and politically uninteresting for me to care. There are also a few too many side villains here, and it’s tough to tell who is who. For everything that’s potentially good in Quantum of Solace- like the realistic usage of different languages worldwide- we get stupid seriousness and obvious symbolism and ridiculously over done deaths. Not only do we never strike the right blend on this brooding roller coaster ride, but the absence or askew use of traditional Bond anchors is just too much. You end with the gun barrel and don’t think it’s necessary for ‘Bond. James Bond’ to ever introduce himself? Come on!

However…I do have faith! Now that everyone has gotten this brooding Bond set out of his or her systems; for the next picture perhaps we can have a few familiar laughs and light-hearted innuendo, traditional Bond music, and lovable friends like Q and Moneypenny. I’ve said it before I know, but apparently, it bears repeating: coughQMoneypennycough. I’ve even thought of ways for the hat toss to make an appearance! Bond could be in uniform alone and pissy in M’s office, toss his cap, miss the rack, break something, and thus a quip from the newly entered Moneypenny. Craig could even give a fourth wall glance to the viewer, making a silent coincidence to Casino Royale’s ‘I’m the money…every penny of it.’ Yes, I have that kind of time!

Unfortunately, as the British would say, ‘the proof is in the pudding’. When I had the chance to pick up one of a dozen copies of Quantum of Solace for $3 at my local library’s sale, I passed. Sure, I took Casino Royale when it ended up being free with my library volunteer discount, but there’s just an overall sense of blandness, blah, and meh that seems to follow Quantum of Solace. Craig lovers and fans of this new Bond turn no doubt own and love Quantum of Solace, but the traditional Bond aficionado can certainly do better. Completist collectors can find the DVD or blu-ray editions affordably enough, but the casual 007 fan or layman action viewer can do without Quantum of Solace. Ironically, there’s not a iota of solitude in it.