by Kristin Battestella
Based upon the novels by Melissa de la
Cruz, the late Lifetime series Witches of East End had plenty
of magical potential. Unfortunately, this ten episode debut falters
in balancing its bewitching tales and romantic plotlines, resulting
in perhaps too many growing pains.
Artist Joanna Beauchamp (Julia Ormond)
is surprised to see her wildcat sister Wendy (Madchen Amick) after a
century apart – for unbeknownst to Joanna's daughters Ingrid
(Rachel Boston) and Freya (Jenna Dewan Tatum), they are a family of
exiled and cursed witches. The immortal Joanna is doomed to see her
daughters continuously born, grow up, and die, and this time she has
steered the bookish Ingrid and romantic Freya away from their
dangerous magical abilities in hopes of giving them a fuller, longer
life. An old enemy, however, is after Joanna, taking on her lookalike
form or shifting into other guises as needed to threaten the
Beauchamps and interfere with Freya's impending wedding to Dr. Dash
Gardiner (Eric Winter). While her future mother-in-law Penelope
(Virginia Madsen) is slowly warming to Freya, Dash's wayward brother
Killian (Daniel Di Tomasso) makes for a much more steamy adversary to
the nuptials.
Glitz, glamour, saucy dreams, and
ominous rituals in the garden open Witches of East End, and
the “Pilot” moves quickly with fast talking folks and one
blink and you miss it spooky incident after another. There's a lot of
house history and paranormal exposition shoehorned in the first ten
minutes alone – making it tough to appreciate the morphing red
flowers, poofing photographs, doppelgangers, pentagrams, and murder
afoot. Did I mention the trite love triangle also being introduced?
Witches of East End has much
to digest, and although based upon its own book series, comparisons
between Witches of Eastwick, Charmed, and
Practical Magic are
understandably apparent due to this initial patchwork and too similar
feeling. Fortunately, Victorian flashbacks and glimpses into the
twenties anchor past pain and fate coming to catch the titular
ladies – unique tales that might have set Witches of East End
further apart from those aforementioned comparables had it been set
as a period piece. While it's nice to have all age appropriate adults
and realistic looking dark haired ladies instead of cliché teen
bimbos, the enemy evil is told about more than it is actually seen,
strong women are always being attacked by icky men, and attempts to
be self aware about such cliches end up playing into that very same
old. Witches of East End takes
too long to get rolling, superficial threats are too easily resolved,
and hello look at that shoddy police work. Thankfully, the intercut
spell editing and smaller threats in “Marilyn Fenwick, R.I.P.”
tie into the intriguing premise's overall revenge and magical
consequences. The sardonic comedy and rules of being a witch remain
fun while serious conversations on whether magic is a gift or nothing
but problems add drama. Rather than speedy shockers, time is taken
with magic training and spell practice in “Today I am a Witch.”
More sepia flashbacks and a long list of enemies shape the storylines
while magical mistakes, face to face confrontations, and debate on
whether these potions and powers should be used for protection and
defense or the offensive help Witches of East End get
a foot on the right moonlit path.
Fun guest stars, more sinister, and
villainous history further up the conflict, surprises, and
retribution in “A Few Good Talismen,” and the rules of the realm
are established in “Electric Avenue” thanks to ghosts, legal
tricks, and courtroom encounters. Witches of East End over
relies on fast talking delivery and conveniently mentioned witchcraft
information after the fact – we are told about more spells being
done that we don't get to see. However, when action actually happens,
it is entertaining and weighted with supernatural arguments. Is
the witchcraft right and justified in one scenario and wrong in
another? Unfortunately, the pretty people making moon eyes in the
pool in “Potentia Noctis” detract from the historical nuggets,
turn of the century saucy, and spell casting magical brownies. The
period apothecary, rival magics, multilevel spells, and mansion
tunnels are top notch, again making one wonder why Witches of East
End didn't just dance the dance
and begin with all this quality past beguine. The zombie
resurrections and good girls gone bad consequences in “Unburied”
are also hampered by the intercut romantic scenes. Yes, the magical
hair pulling torture is kind of hokey, but the deadly high stakes is
just a bit more important
than love la dee da. New character dynamics and more evil
shapeshifter meaty end up uneven or stretched thin because this need
for dreamy keeps undercutting the magical ruses, occult research,
fantastical dangers, and titular charms in “Snake Eyes.”
Whoa, whoa, spoiler alert! Forget
the love triangle soapy, the Beauchamps come from Asgard, can
never go home, and more family has been left behind – and all this
news is dropped with a mere two episodes left in the First Season.
Say what? Knowing this information makes Witches of East
End a lot more interesting, even
as we again wonder why the series didn't shoot out the gate with this
enchanting who, why, and how it effects the present family. Any and
all fantastical dalliances could have come through the town portal
for our learning to be witches to wrangle each week and we got sweet
nothings at the local pub instead? It's great to see the
sisters going head to head and banging up the house, too – even if
the animated laundry is laughable. “A Parching Imbued” has the
supernatural feeling Witches of East End needs
with the eponymous gals in white robes on the beach casting
spells while the evil shifter interferes directly with counter magic.
Doppelgangers walk down the street, powers are lost, and conflicts
arise over surprise character twists. Granted again the evil torture
chamber looks more like an industrial art museum display, but deaths,
harbingers of doom, and threats both mortal and magical disrupt the
wedding preparations in the “Oh, What a World!” finale. Why ruin
all the Asgard answers, bad omens, and major dramatic developments
with too many sappy montages and pop songs? I'm ready for the verbal
bitch slaps and magic battles! Although the easy, rushed resolution
leaves Witches of East End on
a cliffhanger and the San Francisco flashback shows the
audience the tavern with magic cocktails we already know, the
connection to present truths create some much needed character
changes to up the ante for Season Two.
Thanks to the lovely at any age and
foxy but poised Julia Ormond (Legends of the Fall), the
viewer immediately likes immortal witch and mother Joanna Beauchamp.
She's trying to keep her daughters safe due to a horrible
curse and that live forever quality doesn't mean that enemies aren't
out to test her immortality. Ormond's accent is an odd mix of toned
down British and put on American, which may bother some, but it can
also be excused thanks to her long lived times – there's certainly
some fun Latin and doppelganger mayhem to chew on, too. Despite her
continuously telling lies and withholding information, we don't blame
Joanna for hiding the witchy ways in order to save this generation.
Everything she does is to protect her daughters, to give them normal
lives, and help them realize being a witch isn't their be all end
all. Witches of East End's uneven
focus between the ensemble love and Joanna's ongoing enemy plot
wavers too much – sometimes we don't see our star very much from
episode to episode. However, the backstory and family revelations
late in the season add new spins. Joanna has her own moments of
happiness amid the dangerous, and her second love interest should
have been recurring all along gosh darn it. It's amazing to see a
strong, mature, and classy lady working to keep her family together.
Joanna admits she can't deal with her history and magic on her own,
and her coming round to magic uses, accepting her past, and embracing
her power gives Witches of East End a
positive anchor.
It's unfortunate that Rachel Boston's
(American Dreams) Ingrid is always siding with Wendy while
Freya is most often with Joanna, as these limited pairings inhibit
plot variety and keep critical information from all the players –
who often behave more like four women in separate events rather than
a core family. Unless you read some of the series' apocrypha, the
audience doesn't get all the details, such as Ingrid being the older
sister. Her level headed skepticism and slightly awkward but honest
chemistry is a welcome change of pace early on Witches of East
End, however her uber shrew detesting of Meg Ryan and Katherine
Heigl movies is too textbook on the nose and used more to
differentiate her from her dreamy lovestruck sister than develop her
own personality. Ingrid is a realistic student of history and
witchcraft that suddenly jumps the gun and writes spells because
she's really powerful with a saucy evil past and not just a shy
librarian after all. From episode to episode Ingrid is either awed,
wide eyed, whoopsie surprised, and scared of her magical mantle or
being selfish and stupid with serious life and death spells. It's
great to see when her magic gets out of hand with erroneous
consequences, but the character is made smart and stupid at the same
time and too often caught in over her head whilst we are also
repeatedly being told she is the good one. Which is it?
Likewise, Jenna Dewan Tatum's (Step
Up) wishy washy romantically confused shtick gets old fast, and I
wish I could skip over her 'he's oh so dreamy' scenes. We don't know
anything about Freya except how she is torn between two men. Even
when she finds out she is a witch, she turns princess and doesn't
want to get her hands dirty with spells – only to be angry later
when her powers don't work. Why couldn't the love triangle plot be
developed later once Freya knows who she is and has accepted her
powers? Instead she always needs to be saved by one of her men. Meh.
This same old melodrama wastes time Witches of East End doesn't
have to spare, and honestly, I would rather have seen only one
daughter in a learning to be a witch plot with more focus on the
elder sisters. Isn't Freya too old to be this juvenile? She learns of
her magic history but would rather talk about boys, and she's
a bartender who's good at potions, ba dum tish! I'm not opposed to
Gothic love triangles done right in paranormal fantasies. However, I
do expect to know something more about an allegedly strong woman –
an immortal witch from Asgard no less – before knowing who she's
boinking as though the boinking is the most important thing about
her. As if!
Thankfully, Madchen Amick (Twin
Peaks), is a feline delight for
Witches of East End as
Joanna's wild sister Wendy. She has nine lives to live and now in her
slightly mature age uses her experience to protect her family. Wendy
is self aware, sarcastic, and educates her nieces on good magic just
as much as she imparts don't be like her reckless wisdom. Of course,
that's not to say she doesn't get up to wrong doing spells and
danger, but Wendy remains a positive sounding board. Some of her
plots do move too fast – they use up her lives quickly and swoop in
a love interest, too. However, some of the speedy exposition works
when Wendy is dropping witty asides and one line adventures
about being widowed, married, divorced again, or eaten by a
crocodile. Her knowing how to fix or undo a spell is also a
convenient dues ex machina used too many times on Witches of East
End, but the sisterly pros and
cons are well done with both Wendy or Joanna each being short sighted
at times in their magical knowledge or uses. Where Joanna seeks to
motherly protect, Wendy would rather empower her nieces. Is one way
better than the other or can both styles strengthen the family? Amick
is a fun counter balance whose personality doesn't change from week
to week – unlike the under utilized Virginia Madsen (Candyman)
as Freya's snotty future mother-in-law Penelope. It takes half the
season for what we already suspect of Penelope to come to light,
making for another missed opportunity that Witches of East
End should have indulged from
day one.
Dimension
also comes too late for Eric Winter (The Ugly Truth) as
Freya's fiance Dash. Why couldn't he have been a doctor first and
foremost instead of one half of a limp couple? Scenes with science
investigation to counter magic end up going nowhere, and time
focusing solely on the brotherly rivalry is so slow compared to the
rapid witch pacing. We can see man pain anywhere, and Witches
of East End could have at least
completed the trifecta and had Canadian Italian model Donald
Di Tomasso play hockey instead of serving up the same old dark,
mysterious, music, and motorcycle Killian brooding. The series
continually falls back on this teen wannabe bedroom ho hum, and such
glaring plots don't belong on what's supposed to be a sophisticated,
women-oriented supernatural show. Fortunately, familiar guests
including Matt Frewer (Max Headroom), Joel Gretsch (The
4400), Jason George (Grey's
Anatomy), and Freddie Prinze,
Jr. (Scooby Doo) add
mature, supporting sensibilities to Witches of East End.
It is, however, disappointing to see the charming Tom Lenk
(Buffy) and Kellee Stewart (My Boys) typically typecast
as the gay and black best friends, respectively. Tiya Sircar (The
Internship) as Amy also starts with medical intelligence and
character strengths, but is ultimately made stupid with Witches of
East End once again wasting
better, progressive plot opportunities and giving both its
interracial and mixed couples ill fates. Tsk tsk. All these
independent, confident chicks and ensemble support possibilities, yet
it appears the only purpose of Witches of East End's unfocused
storytelling is to toss every woman a man. Bechdel test my
foot – when we do get all the lady librarians, doctors, immortals,
and witches together they still end up talking about men!
Witches of East End has
a fitting mood with black cats, bewitching eyes, skeleton
keys, Latin curses, and a pink Victorian house that belies the spooky
within its quaint. Books, photographs, ominous lighting, small period
piece doses, and freaky bathtubs should be used even more for a slow
burn atmosphere, yet once again I come back to the faulty execution
at work. Witches of East End could
have been styled as several television movies or at least had a
feature length pilot episode, however the ridiculous playing at
double speed opening title card is a lighting bolt blink and bam
indicative of how by the pants these 42 minutes or less episodes were
steered. The witch effects and magical movements are cheap and quick,
as if making them one second longer would cost too much. Trite 'if
this were a movie, this would be the part where
happens!' dialogue doesn't excuse borrowed ideas – like the trapped
in the painting plot lifted from The Witches. Cell phones and
modern lingo are intrusive, and unlike The Witches of Eastwick,
everything in Witches
of East End feels lighthearted,
too soft with little edge or dark style. Cursing and some near
nudity amid brief 1906 orgies are fine, but such saucy is also an
obvious, late in the hour desperate move – and something turn of
the century should not be montaged with contemporary pop music!
Witches of East End never
fully establishes its titular setting, and we know almost nothing
about the town's size, how many shops there are, or what the main
street layout may be. Are there no nosy neighbors to spy on these
backyard spells? Is the Beauchamp name beloved or notorious in the
community? Viewers don't find out the town is shrouded on a map and
secretly famed for its occult history or hiding a gosh darn gateway
to Asgard until it is too late. Good job, everyone!
If you are familiar with other magical
material, Witches of East End will
be very derivative. Some audiences may like that whimsical
comfort, readers of the series especially I imagine, but that
unfulfilled basic may be disappointing for others. Undivided viewing
attention is needed for this incredibly fast moving design, and a
marathon session is a must to both keep up with the fast moving plots
or exposition dumping and breeze over the spinning tires romance. The
steamy attempts may cater to the Lifetime audience but such trite
strays too far into soap opera over the top at the expense of the
unique core potential. All that should have happened to start Witches
of East End comes in the second
half of the season, with numerous writers and directors falling flat
over a backward execution – which is surprising since there is a
literary source. Though Witches of East End is
certainly watchable for paranormal light fans looking for a streaming
weekend or ladies growing out of Charmed, the
weekly witchy, immortal trials, and magical tribulations feel like
they should be bigger somehow – leaving this debut with more than
its fair share of flaws muddling the magic.
After I first saw Candyman, for years I had dreams in which the fur clad and hook toting menace appeared. Todd’s trademark role and deep voice are that creepy, and like Bloody Mary, every kid has called Candyman five times in his bathroom mirror. Fans of gore and creative, bloody murders will no doubt enjoy Candyman. What little effects given are along the lines of fire, blood, and more blood. The violence, however, is not excessive. Integral to the story, many of the spooks in the film are carried out largely by the actors. Helen trips in the dark, dirty, messy projects we know it’s a place where real and fictious horrors can happen. When Helen enters a rank and bloody bathroom-is crap everywhere? Of course not. The audience, however, knows the smells through Madsen’s reaction and the director Bernard Rose’s swift pans.