True Horror Tales

 

True Horror Tales

by Kristin Battestella

Shocking true crimes and real world horrors come alive thanks to these demented dramas and chilling documentaries past and present.

In Her Skin – Problematic legalese made this 2009 Australian true story starring Miranda Otto (Lord of the Rings), Guy Pearce (Lockout), and Sam Neill (Dead Calm) obscure, but lovely landscapes, pretty dancing, and original songs contrast the dark skies, empty trams, and every parent's worst fear. A daughter doesn't return home, and the episodic acts focus on the parents, killer, and victim before the inevitable malevolence. The number of days since the disappearance anchors frantic phone calls and television pleas as parents stand in the street calling their daughter's name and reluctant police think it's just a runaway case. Blasé officials see these cases everyday, but emotions are high for the family facing this awful new experience. Mom turns to her own mother while dad consoles the younger siblings. Each tries to keep it together – afraid to break despite such extreme circumstances before delayed reactions, sobs, and swoons. Sensuality, nudity, love, and sex are also shown in different dynamics; the young bloom versus the ugly body dysmorphia and the tenderness between couples before revelry in the brutally suggestive strangulation, near orgasmic self loathing release, and ejaculation-like spit in the difficult to stomach crime. Panning camera work, demented voiceovers, fantasy-esque flashbacks, and windswept distortions are spooky and slightly off kilter, getting viewers inside our killer's state of mind alongside disturbing letters and violent artwork. Her devious sense of empowerment bullies the trusting innocence, consuming the sweet ballet grace and leaving the body to rot in the bathtub. A chilling calm and smiling exterior belies the angry journals and nasty outbursts as the slovenly thrives on the decay. Opportunities to improve are turned away amid suggested Electra undertones, inappropriate strip downs, and obsession from the award worthy Ruth Bradley (Humans). Rather than change the psychotic, our killer is happy in the delusion that she is wild and free with sweeping nature shots, sky motifs, and out of body overhead views reflecting her warped blossoming. She even calls the bereaved to offer support – but knows too much and speaks in the past tense. Today it's difficult for us to believe no one noticed or provided mental health intervention, and the eventual sentence is light for such a premeditated crime. Fortunately, the great performances carry the perhaps disjointed style. The sense of grief, shock, and disturbing are realistically stilted and uncomfortable. The psychological chilling and villainous portrayal are tough to watch yet this intriguing, well done drama is worth re-watching.

In Search of Darkness: A Journey into Iconic 80s Horror – This four hours plus Shudder labor of love brings together horror scholars and familiar faces including Heather Langenkamp, Alex Winter, John Carpenter, Jeffrey Combs, Joe Dante, Joe Bob Briggs, Cassandra Peterson, Keith David, and more. Retro graphics and old school cues match the nostalgic discussion alongside behind the scenes anecdotes and reflections on the shoulder pads of the MTV generation and Reaganomics priming the era for horror excess. Forty years ago, horror was bottom barrel easy to make with pre-prestige stars and low budget necessity bringing about innovative smoke and mirrors. Tent poles like Friday the 13th, The Shining, and Scanners begat an increasingly polished artistry while sub genres, slashers, and suburban scares lead to scream queens, money makers, and mainstream appeal with Nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist, and The Howling versus An American Werewolf in London. VHS makes films readily available for the first time before late night cable, direct to video's shrewd cover art appeal, and no spoilers to ruin Sleepaway Camp. Silence, new sounds, and electronic influences accent the practical effects gore of The Thing and Evil Dead, yet believable fears and realistic performances set off holiday horrors and ahead of their time mind or body and machine allegories. Re-Animator and Fright Night embrace the past while winking at the genre, however disappointing imitations, franchise formulaic, and 3D gimmicks struggle amid censorship and potential X ratings. Terrorizing children is a no no, but Gremlins is ripe for merchandising even as Hellraiser's slick mature and more visceral sequels make viewers uncomfortable as great horror should. Near Dark and The Lost Boys upend the vampire genre while strong women persevere – overcoming the sexual taboos, objectification, and victimization despite gratuitous nudity and teenage rites of passage. Child's Play responds to Wall Street greed and consumerism as our misfit genre grows darker by the end of the decade, fashioning cathartic, scary statements that still influence film today. This frightening legacy flows in chronological order with a fine checklist of favorites, obscure titles, and movie highlights. Unlike today's increasingly sardonic narrations and clip shows all but mocking their subjects, the variety of presenters free to talk causally without any intruding veneer is refreshing. One wonders why we ever left this kind of format for easily digestible snarky, as this straightforward celebration of scary gives loyal horror fans what they want.

The Legend of Lizzie Borden – Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) brings home this 1975 television movie while carriages, church bells, and the hysterical maid set the murderous 1892 Fall River, Massachusetts scene. The video transfer looks poor with flat colors and the low budget dark interiors aren't quite what we know from the infamous pictures. However, the hats, frocks, fluttering skirts, and fanning oneself in the heat set off co-stars Fionnula Flanagan (The Others) and Katherine Helmond (Who's The Boss?). Confusion at the crime scene and cracks in the story come early – who was where and when, the maid called by the wrong name, the stepmother's body found by the bedside, one and all shocked and horrified save for Lizzie. She's so calm when asked if she killed her father, chill when the authorities arrest her amid prayers, sisterly promises, and creepy coffins. The seventies horror zooms and ominous tone may have been edgy for television of the day, but the courtroom drama balances the unreliable flashes, tonics, and nasty household suggestions. Interrogations and testimony give the timeline of events, inheritance motives, and well documented specifics while witness flashbacks recall the stern Mr. Borden, his cranky Mrs., and their insistence on cheap food and hard work – much to Lizzie's chagrin. At first, it may be tough to imagine our beloved Samantha as the alleged murderess, but her foreboding, stuck up stature works. Unsympathetic Lizzie wants to wear the latest fashions for her trial and has every comfort in her jail cell. She faints at the thought of a death by hanging sentence, vowing that she cries in private but wants the public to know via softball newspaper interviews. Lizzie delights in another's misery and browbeats her sister, a demented little princess playing into the delicate lady expectations when on the stand. She spins a different gentility with every question, polluting the facts with uncertainties as she recalls eating pears la di da when the violence apparently happened. Even the judge wonders if she were a man who was at the scene of a crime with a contradictory, revisionist alibi would there be any question of guilt? The congested relationships and tense battle of wills over dresses with no blood, burned clothing, morphine versus memory, and acid inquiries escalate toward inadmissible excuses and forensic doubts. Choice dollies, editing splices, ticking clocks, mirror reflections, warped angles, and camera distortions match the fierce slices as the finale surmises the if I did it nudity and whodunit splatter. This is well done for its day with disturbing mood and a deliciously despicable Montgomery.

Top Ten: Directors!

Welcome to our new Top Tens series in celebration of I Think, Therefore I Review's Tenth Anniversary! These monthly lists will highlight special themes and topics from our extensive archive of reviews.

This time I Think, Therefore I Review presents in alphabetical order...

Our Top Ten Directors!

Mario Bava

John Carpenter

Roger Corman

Wes Craven

David Cronenberg

Freddie Francis

Joseph Mankiewicz

George Romero

Billy Wilder

William Wyler

Please see our Movies page for even more Classic or Horror Directors listed by Genre or Decade! And don't worry if you don't see a famous name – there are more Top Tens to come all year long!

I Think, Therefore I Review began as the blog home for previously published reviews and reprinted critiques by horror author Kristin Battestella. Naturally older articles linked here may be out of date and codes or formatting may be broken. Please excuse any errors and remember our Top Tens will generally only include films, shows, books, or music previously reviewed at I Think, Therefore I Review. 

 

More Horror Documentaries Again!

More Horror Documentaries Yet!

By Kristin Battestella

What's the next best thing to watching horror? Watching other people talk about zombies, scary classics, and the history of frightful film!

Birth of the Living Dead – This 2013 frank and colorful conversation with George A. Romero recounts his early start with Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, beer commercials, and stalled productions before establishing the zombie onscreen as we know it today and using horror to make social statements on Vietnam and the Civil Rights Movement with Night of the Living Dead. Romero and his associates wore numerous hats for the organic filming and bare minimum $100,000 production, leading to a necessary ingenuity shaping the realistic horror and self aware fears onscreen as they fought against studio demands, difficult cinema distribution, and copyright issues. Contemporary filmmakers and students also provide detailed scene by scene analysis and discuss the groundbreaking racial impacts of the film, early uses of the inaccuracy of television and radio media to parallel 1968 news coverage, and erroneous law enforcement implications of the time – topics still very relevant today. It's interesting to hear how the script did not mention race and went unchanged once Duane Jones was cast in the lead – the focus of the film was primarily a cynical denouement on the large mistakes or small differences that would unravel mid century middle America in the face of unexplained, non-supernatural horror but nonetheless inadvertently addresses racial issues of the era. The villain isn't made clear and no one actually wins, and these frightening concepts influenced numerous political films to come. It's a real treat to have an entire 76 minutes dedicated to discussing Night of the Living Dead, and this documentary is perfect for horror fans or sociology classrooms looking to dissect horror onscreen and off.

Nightmare Factory – John Carpenter, George A. Romero, John Landis, Elijah Wood, Norman Reedus, Tom Savini, Robert Rodriguez, and more discuss the difficulty of makeup designs, prosthetic effects, and bringing scares to life in this 94 minute 2011 special. There are warehouse tours, historical horror props, early talk of Lon Chaney and Jack Pierce, gore in progress limbs, macabre sculptures, and body casts alongside animatronics and puppetry secrets. However, the primary focus here is not on the history of horror effects but rather Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger, and their KNB Effects company. Primitive childhood films, behind the scenes footage from Day of the Dead to The Walking Dead, and interviews with the Nicotero family help shape the personal rise and artistic camaraderie as the late seventies horror wave brought the effects industry into mainstream films. Remember, in the past it wasn't cool to be into creepy gross stuff like it is now! Of course, Robert Kurtzman – the K in KNB Effects – is only briefly mentioned amid this rock n roll makeup fraternity, and the presentation is uneven, meandering vainly over KNB's monopoly on the effects business and wasting time on funny anecdotes. Though diva aspects, perfectionism, and CGI competition are addressed, these counter topics are too swift and the absence of a narrator to balance the chronology or transition segments further contributes to the seemingly random structure. I might have preferred to see a more linear, practical behind the scenes instead – use this fake blood mix, rubber mask mold that. However, there are some neat insights into the special effects evolution, with debates on the practicality of making one small piece versus an entire monstrosity, what you can do with little money compared to a big budget, and ultimately how tedious a production can truly be. The conversation may be somewhat rocky, but this remains an informative treat for behind the scenes enthusiasts and scary die hards. 

 

Universal Horror – Kenneth Branagh narrates this 1998 documentary previously available on other Universal DVD videos and now accenting the Universal Classic Monsters: The Essential Collection blu-ray set. These 95 minutes are packed with interviews from Ray Bradbury, Gloria Stuart, Fay Wray, Carla Laemmle, Sara Karloff, Forrest J. Ackerman, and yet more actors, actresses, authors, filmmakers, and historians discussing the Hollywood Gothic and European design trends begun by Universal after their early start in silents and westerns before The Hunchback of Notre Dame. From foundings with Carl Laemmle, the famed Stage 28, and The Phantom of the Opera to The Cat and the Canary, The Man Who Laughs, and London After Midnight, time here is also well spent on directors Tod Browning and James Whale and their talkie success with Dracula and Frankenstein. Due time focuses on Lon Chaney, Bela Lugosi, and Boris Karloff, too, before King King nostalgia, more Depression era horror, and The Black Cat. Yes, this is a lot of stuff to cover, but the orderly progression moves at a nice pace on each leg of the journey thanks to film clips, rare footage and photos, and family anecdotes. Highlights on German Expressionism, earlier silent inspirations, and the beginnings of censorship battles help frame Universal’s place in the budding horror glory, but the time here only covers up to Dracula’s Daughter, Son of Frankenstein, and The Wolf Man. Intriguing topics such as bankruptcy and the end of the Laemmle era, World War II parallels in horror, the forties second wave of sequels, and Abbott and Costello mash ups are quickly squished in the final fifteen minutes. One could do an entire mini series on the history of this studio, indeed. However, this extended retrospective has more than enough to delight movie history buffs and horror fans old and new.

Skip It

Doc of the Dead – This 80 minute 2014 special tackles the zombie rise on film from the medium's infancy to Romero's work and beyond with spoof newscasts, zombie town hall meetings, film clips from White Zombie to World War Z, and quips from Simon Pegg, Bruce Campbell, and more. Early film racism, voodoo metaphors, biological scares, and science fiction undead mixes create an interesting conversation alongside Black Friday irony, capitalism fears, and social commentary. Retrospective sit downs discuss how new disasters both natural and manmade have created a millennial zombie resurgence with video games and all things The Walking Dead. Unfortunately, many zombie films go unmentioned in favor of more pop than cinema. Real life voodoo practitioners and global undead history are pushed aside in favor of a lengthy fast versus slow zombie debate. Obvious metaphors are nothing new to hardcore fans, and the 98% white male experts end up repeating the same pretentious things. The ironic hipster tunes and geek humor is a bit much, too – on the street funny people and music montages are unnecessary and off the mark. Scientific perspectives are dropped in favor of zombie commercials, zombie weddings, and kid zombie movies followed by onscreen experts saying we haven't jumped the zombie shark just yet. This counter productive approach at once tells us how mainstream zombies have become whilst also presenting bizarre aspects such as undead rape fantasy and zombie porn – which of course is where the few female commentators get to look foolish. Time is padded with double talk on why zombies are so big but how such popularity is baffling, and panelists say they would leave their kids behind and jump off buildings in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Ultimately, this embracing fandom hug feels more like a cultural mockery complete with homophobic comedy, and I stopped caring before the last forty minutes.

Quality Contemporary Horror

 
Quality Contemporary Horror

By Kristin Battestella

 

Amid all the craptastic new horror pictures this past decade, there are precious few demented diamonds in the rough. Here, however, is a quick quartet of recent, worthy, quality scares and frightful films.

Drag Me to Hell – Sam and Ivan Raimi (Evil Dead, Army of Darkness) present this 2009 tale of curses and consequences starring Alison Lohman (White Oleander) as the likeable and realistic Christine. She’s trying to change her accent, forget her ‘porker’ past and family issues, and keeps doubting or compromising herself, yet she’s also trying to pin her problems on someone else. Lohman carries the increasing paranoia nicely with honest pace and progression as her true colors come forth amid the good jump moments and the not so gruesome that it’s overdone gore and grossness. Justin Long (The Apple Guy), however, is annoying and simply not believable as a college professor; his Freud versus paranormal debates and supposed love for Christine are unconvincing. Reggie Lee (Prison Break) and David Paymer (Mr. Saturday Night) are jerks, too, but their antagonism helps the plot along against the stereotypical gypsy curses as Lorna Raver (The Young and the Restless) makes for a very creepy, gross old lady thanks to that weird eye and a variety of vomit, bugs, and won’t say die dead body encounters. But if she can do all this summoning evil goat demons, why couldn’t she just pay her loan? Although it’s okay to laugh in some scenes – and props for bemusing stapler uses – there is a bit too much sunshine, modern trappings, and a decidedly CGI feeling. This isn’t quite as dirty or desperate as it should be, and we know what’s going to happen the whole time – even the title and poster reveal the predictable twist untwist endings. Fortunately, most of the scares and suspense are well done what you don’t see shadows and wind effects, and the Spanish spins and multi language mythos add flavor along with Dileep Rao’s (Avatar) unique take on the usually clichéd psychic. There are subtle Evil Dead references, of course, but one can certainly laugh or be scared by this entertaining little flick - eyeball in the cake at the dinner party and all.

The Innkeepers – A lovely, historic atmosphere and setting accent the brooding suspense of this 2011 thinking person’s haunted hotel tale starring Sarah Paxton (Darcy’s Wild Life) and Kelly McGillis (Top Gun). The situational scares, ghost investigations, touches of quirky humor, and genuine conversations feel much more realistic than those so-called reality ghost shows. The subtle fears, whiff of gore, and shock scares are quality, but the what you don’t see whispers, overnight isolation, unknown paranormal activity, and psychic reactions are better. The simple lack of a camera and reliance on EVP gear for the onscreen investigation forces the audience to pay attention. While some modern viewers may dislike the slow burn pace or find the unambitious characters annoying, the lack of easy explanations and typical boobalicious scream queens is refreshingly honest. We need to see the personal normalcy so we know when the scares push people to the extreme. Yes, people don’t listen, let the paranormal go to their head, and go into the forewarned basement – but people close to death also see things differently. Granted, writer, director, and editor Ti West (The House of the Devil) wears too many hats and should have someone else sit back objectively and say, “Clarify this.” Perhaps there’s nothing fancy here – just a straightforward curiosity killed the cat self-fulfilling prophecy. However, today’s increasingly too in your face fancy horror films are becoming a problem, and this well-done little picture is more than worth a look.

The Moth Diaries – This 2011 adaptation of the Rachel Klein novel has some very slow early scenes with video game trappings, prep chick shenanigans, and jealous lesbian subtext. The title connections are loose and uneven shades of Carmilla, vampire clichés, ghosts, suicide, blood, and psychosis or any and all of the above go unanswered. The flashbacks and a few stupid dream sequences are too obvious, with a predictable one by one elimination – the audience is immediately aware of what’s going on while the characters remain juvenile and can’t piece together the evidence. Viewers also excited by the promised girl on girl vamps will be disappointed by the lack of boobs, for there is only one unnecessary yet not gratuitously filmed sex scene. Audiences will expect the hot teacher switcharoo, definitive twists, and clarification on the supernatural rules, but these also go unfulfilled. Either be a Carmilla spin or use your unreliable narrator - you can’t have both if you are going to drop the ball and not define your own film or its audience. Fortunately, Sara Boldger (The Tudors), Sarah Gadon (A Dangerous Method), Scott Speedman (Underworld), Lily Cole (The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus), and the rest of the well-acted cast make up for any flaws – as does the creepy hotel turned school locales, literary touches, classy mood, and spooky atmosphere. There are a few good scares, too, and no overabundance of computers, phones, or modern technology. Of course, vampire fans will be disappointed in the lack of vampness, but psychological horror fans will be annoyed by enough vamp and ghost trappings.  Though entertaining, the trouble here is that it just never decides what it wants to be.

The Ward – Director John Carpenter (Halloween) keeps the suspense, mystery, and twists going in this 2010 psychological thriller. Yes, I would have liked more sixties in the 1966 setting beyond a few cool cars, some music, and old school nursing.  Granted, Amber Heard (Pineapple Express), Mamie Gummer (Evening), Danielle Panabaker (The Crazies), Lyndsy Fonseca (Desperate Housewives), and Laura-Leigh (We’re the Millers) do well for the most part but still seem too modern for the decade onscreen. Absolutely, wise horror viewers will shout at the television over the physical impossibilities, obvious connections, unoriginality, clichés, and plot holes from writers Michael and Shawn Rasmussen (Dark Feed) – if I say what films this is almost exactly like, it will spoil the whole thing! Fortunately, Jared Harris (Mad Men) is a quality, ambiguous mix of helping and hurting as the therapist of the hour, and there is some sharp editing, smart camerawork, and a hint of mid century fashion to set the scary mood. The sinister mental hospital with drugs, hypnosis, vengeful ghosts, undead possibilities, and of course, electroshock therapy also adds to the creepy atmosphere. Perhaps some of Carpenter’s tense scoring or an elder classic horror actor might have brought the heavy needed here, but I feel this should also be seen twice for full effect. Though there are still too many recent horror hang ups keeping this from being Carpenter’s best, the action doesn’t resort to today’s expected major gore, sex, or nudity and remains a step above recent slice and dice crazy pictures thanks to his stylized mental explorations, crisis, and fears.

However, I must again say, why do recent horror movies all have slow, fancy smancy, and effects laden opening credits wasting precious time? Hardly any films these days have opening credits and simply start cold. Why do horror films only delay and pad their runtimes like this? Do they think it is cool? It’s not. Give us the extra two minutes of scares and story, please!

 

Yet More 70s and 80s Horror!

More Horror from Decades Yore!

By Kristin Battestella

Low budget, bad, so bad they are good, or downright scary and entertaining – here’s a quick selection of good, bad, ugly, and macabre from those glorious seventies and eighties of yesteryear. 


 

Dracula (1979) – Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon) takes the Bram Stoker mantle for this update co-starring Laurence Olivier (hello) and Donald Pleasence (Halloween). The streamlined action gets right to it with the turbulent bound for London Demeter, and there are further changes from the 1924 play adaptation – including a Lucy Steward and Mina Van Helsing switcharoo. The howls, thunder, sound effects, and mood music by John Williams (Star Wars) match all the horror visuals, gore and ghouls, transfusions, transformations, chases, fog, and lightshow graphics perfectly.  Not the usual Victorian as expected, the costumes and early cars are an Edwardian treat, and it’s quite nifty to see the traditionally Transylvania happenings take place in Britain instead. Unfortunately, the drab, dark, and surprising not colorful picture might make viewers today dismiss this as old and cheap. I understand the antique black and white-esque designs director John Badham (Saturday Night Fever) was attempting – and the patina does look nice.  However, one expects a certain amount of grandeur with these otherwise wonderful art and set dressings.  Some scenes are too flat and plain when they should have visual depth and be treats for the eye. Thankfully, the action, scares, and a decrepit Carfax Abbey work. The camerawork is creepy, with hypnotic zooms and suspense editing, too. Also of the stage revival, Langella, ironically, has the least accent of anybody. The other Brit cast seems to have a put on classic RP, but his delivery isn’t the clichéd Velcome one may expect. The suave Langella commands your attention nonetheless, and unlike today’s all action or teen dream vamps, the romance and predator balance here is just right. His charisma and the adaptation twists keep us tuned in to whatever new sensuous but oh so wrong treats will unfold next. By contrast, the ill Olivier is somewhat off. It’s amusing to see such a classy actor do horror, yes, but he’s more Velcome put on than Dracula.  He reminds me of the Dracula: Dead and Loving It spoof! I wish there was a new blu-ray release with both this devoid and a colors galore version, and the changes here might displease traditional Stoker fans. Nevertheless, there’s still enough gothic, stylized, and fast-paced drama to make this one worth a gander.

Dolls (1987) – The demented little music and titular creepy, absently staring disembodied heads are immediately effective in this 1987 eerie from director Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator). The British style is also bemusing, with bad English punk chicks and yuppie Dynasty then-sophisticates creating a lovely little ensemble accented by askew filming angles and individual agendas.  I know it all seems corny and passé, but the suspiciously broken down car on stormy night outside a spooky manor with a creepy kid, peculiar old people, and a wicked toy or two premise and gothic atmosphere more than make up for any datedness. Great candlelight, maze like interiors, and antique décor forgives any bad effects and doll animations – which are actually quite good considering the era. The seemingly obvious killer dolls may be cliché, granted, however, the unseen camera perspectives and slow reveal on who or what is doing all the slice and dice violence keeps the suspense and scary just this side of campy. I can see how some of today’s drinking game horror audiences could find this wonderfully humorous, and some scenes are indeed funny and charming, yet the witty and freaky morals are balanced wonderfully. Some viewers may also feel this is merely a supersized Tales from the Crypt episode. After all, there have been similar anthology tellings – Tales from the Hood immediately comes to mind, but more recently Dead Silence and of course, Chucky. Fortunately, at only 77 minutes, the spooky pace and fearful timing are just right here.  

Prince of Darkness – Director John Carpenter reunites with Donald Pleasence (Halloween) and Victor Wong (Big Trouble in Little China) for this 1987 companion piece to The Thing and In the Mouth of Madness, and his pulsing score adds to the freaky atmosphere. Although some of the eighties hair, big mustache hipness, and thirty something college feeling has not stood the test of time, other old technologies and the abandoned church designs are nostalgia cool. The foreboding religious implications and science secrets are also a fine premise, but there’s not a lot of dialogue to start and perhaps too much time is taken to clarify all the metaphysical and theoretical backtalk. Unfortunately, the younger cast delivering the supposedly heavy or likeability is as stiff as their Aqua Net – the forced romancey or hip scenes drag down the picture. I can’t believe that’s Jameson Parker from Simon & Simon!  Rocker Alice Cooper, thankfully, is duly disturbing, and Carpenter has left a few Hammer references and hints to his other films amid the creepy crawlies, evil slime, and sinister symbolism.  There are a few good scare moments and a great ending to set off the underlying ominous, yet this one feels as if it should be better than it is thanks to the slow pace filled with too many characters and poor intercutting.  Even if this one isn’t quite up to what one expects from Carpenter, it’s still a fun watch for enthusiasts on a late night.  

Watchers – An adorable, super smart, pc using dog you can’t help but love and so wish you could have stars alongside Michael Ironside (Total Recall) and the late Corey Haim in this 1988 teen horror chase based partly on the Dean Kootz novel and produced by Roger Corman (The Pit and the Pendulum). Thanks to a secret government science experiment gone awry, an evil monster is on the loose, too, and the vintage news reports and huge old equipment are also fun to see. Although, wow, Haim’s hair is bad, the early make out session is stupid, and the dark farm scares are a little slow to start; the steady variety of kills, frantic mash ups, and point of view editing heighten the scary build. Our monster isn’t revealed with a big CGI panoramic swoop or needlessly cool graphics, and screams, sound effects, and growls add to the rural location fears. It’s nice to see an ungraded or color tweaked picture and the photography adds to the old scares. However, the dated fashions and presentation make this one seem more juvenile than it probably is – a pink wearing, mulleted Jason Priestly (Beverly Hills 90210) calling a computer class teacher a dweeb from atop his BMX, yeah. Likewise, it’s funny to see Haim talking to a dog, because we’ve see him break the fourth wall in classics like Dream a Little Dream and License to Drive sans four legged pals. Though Barbara Williams (Thief of Hearts) is woefully unbelievable and Ironside may seem hokey, he delivers his expected badass.  The writer’s strike and behind the scenes troubles are apparent in the iffy dialogue, but there’s enough twists and entertainment here and in the 1990 direct to video sequel starring Marc Singer and Tracy Scoggins for slightly older tweens or family horror nights.

Now Here’s a Skipper!

The Devil’s Rain – William Shatner, Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerrit, Ida Lupino, and John Travolta star in this somewhat infamous 1975 horror clunker. Things begin well and good with creepy music, eerie paintings, and lots of moans and groans over the main credits. There are scary storms, fearful ladies, and the Satanist dilemma gets on its way quickly enough. Unfortunately, bad makeup begets seriously corny gore effects; the picture is often too dark, and the sound is poor. One might like to call this a horror western due to the setting, but the dusty middle of nowhere just looks old and cheap boonies seventies instead. Unnecessary camera shots of movement from one place to another and slow, confusing scenes where nothing happens don’t help, either. Snails pacing is not foreboding, and the iffy mystery at hand amounts to a lot of double talk and threats but no real explanation. Poor editing between the storylines, visions, and shock photography are literally little more than a flash in the pan in attempt to shake up what seems like a convoluted, overlong episode of a bad horror anthology.  The creepy rituals and black masses are perhaps too realistic, granted. However, segments that should be scary aren’t because the audience is too busy figuring out what the heck is going on.  Can I get an exposition, people! The Puritan flashback might have been more interesting as the whole movie, but otherwise, one should only tune in for the cast amusements. This is just too nonsensical for anything else.  

More Horror Documentaries and Spooky Shows

Horror Documentaries and Non-Fiction Macabre

By Kristin Battestella

Real world horrors and mayhem are often just as demented and certainly no less interesting than their fictional counterparts, are they not? Here’s a brief guide of ghoulish documentaries, morbid memoirs, and non-fiction frights to spice up your creepy classroom or Fall viewings.  

Anne Rice: Biography – This 2000 television hour focusing on the Interview with a Vampire author is nothing new. Ironically, it is actually dated and somewhat inaccurate thanks to Rice’s more recent life and literary changes and thus this feels somewhat incomplete. A one-minute add-on to encompass the new millennium doesn’t cut it. That aside, it’s still great to see photos from Rice’s early life, hear friends and family recount her childhood and road to publication greatness, and listen to Rice herself talk of religion and the personal tragedies that inspired her writing. In fact, Anne’s familial losses and literary struggles may even be more poignant thanks to the conversations with her late husband, the poet Stan Rice. I’d like to see A&E revisit Rice with an updated two-hour special, but until then, scholarly studies and Rice aficionados can always enjoy this quick profile. 

 

A Cemetery Special – PBS’s 2005 hour-long spotlight doesn’t have enough time to explore this exhaustive subject matter- and it bemusing admits that along with a respectful dedication to those buried in the featured cemeteries. From Pittsburgh to Vermont and Key West to Alaska, lovely footage of graveyards and gardens accents the bent but thought provoking discussion on death, remembrance, art, and the monuments we leave behind. Perhaps lesser-known graveyards are featured, but interesting tales from the Civil War and sleeping place origins are recounted in an almost heartwarming manner. This is the perfect little video for classrooms studying the specific locations and history or macabre scholars researching burial customs. I wish there had been a whole series like this!

Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film – In covering a hundred years of scary cinema, this 2009 documentary was bound to miss a few things. However, this hour and half also provides extensive clips from early silent films, Universal monsters, the Roger Corman era, seventies zombies, eighties slashers, and more.  Interviewees like George Romero, John Carpenter, and more experts on the genre examine how the social and political statements onscreen, both overt and veiled, influenced film making and audiences thru the decades. Horror has gone from early B-movie child’s play to red scare allusions and now a blockbuster industry- who knew? Some of the more recent conversation and post 9/11 thoughts are perhaps nothing new or could have been dealt with more deeply, for today’s viewer is familiar with these sociopolitical cinema influences, after all. But seeing the paces of vintage horror film thru the years is a real treat for both new and veteran fans. This one’s a great starter for younger folks just getting into horror films or a good accompaniment to a sociology discussion.

Spine Tingler: The William Castle Story – New horror audiences today may not necessarily recognize the name of the director of such fun fright fests as House on Haunted Hill, but William Castle’s hokey contributions to film tricks and entertainment showmanship are highlighted in this 2007 80-minute documentary. Archive footage of Castle and video of classic stars like Vincent Price, Cary Grant, and Orson Welles accent the lighthearted and insightful commentary from Castle’s daughter Terry, Leonard Maltin, Roger Corman, John Waters, and more genre luminaries.  Are Castle’s low budget films on the fly high art? No. Are they any less unforgettable and entertaining? Nope. Often called a Poor Man’s Hitchcock, horror historians and film students can learn a thing or two about how to make a movie here thanks to Castle’s shtick success- flying skeletons and tingling Percepto theater seats notwithstanding. Although it’s ironic, we look at Castle with such corny delight. However, what are today’s 3D movies, CGI special effects, found footage films, and viral promotions if not gimmicks to sell cinema tickets?

Witches: Biography – A little too much time is spent on recent controversies in this 2008 documentary, and the would be dispelling of negative connotations and misconceptions suffers a touch from the devil worship stereotypes in the presentation. Though care was taken in chronicling the history of witchcraft, from the infamous trials all the way thru to contemporary practices and profiles, the topic is simply too big for just one hour. I’d rather this be at least a 2-hour special or even a three part serial. A&E and History documentaries have solely focused on the Salem Witch Trials previously, and if the networks are pushing all things paranormal, there’s no reason to stifle the content here. The hodgepodge, conflicted vision meanders between past persecutions and today’s practices, but it doesn’t do either justice. Hokey reenactments just don’t seem right juxtaposed with modern coven footage, and this episode seems better piecemeal. If you need Salem studies in the classroom or if you want to see the interviews discussing recent witchcraft for your circle, this is the minimal introduction to a much bigger subject.

 It’s iffy

Bram Stoker: Biography – Indicative of the degrading quality of this A&E series, this 2004 forty five minutes feels too in the vein (no pun intended) of entertainment gossip before historical profile. Precious time is spent on the sensuality of Dracula and the Goth subculture in an attempt to relate Stoker to this highly unfortunate glitter vampire swing.  If you wanted to focus on Dracula and vampires, then make a Biography episode on Dracula or vampires. The first fifteen minutes feels more like “Where’s Bram?”  Rhetorically asking if he would be shocked by vampire clubs or astounded by Halloween costumes do not tell the viewer much about Stoker, nor do poor reenactments and readings with bad Irish accents.  More sensational than informative, this presentation is brimming with unsubstantiated suggestions, much less anything new.  Stoker’s sources for and the sexual discussions of Dracula are indeed intriguing, but making a scandal out of it with homo-eroticism and hatred of women makes for a poor presentation. Did they really need to find something juicy about the man who wrote one of the most widely published books ever? Serious scholars might enjoy a point/counterpoint viewing, but there aren’t many worthwhile literary aspects here. Very disappointing.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like the Witches or Bram Stoker episodes of Biography are currently available on video, either. Typical!

80s Horror and Science Fiction Fears

80s Horrors and Scares Again

By Kristin Battestella

Mirror mirror on the wall, I am a Garbage Pail Kids horror fiend eighties baby after all.

Galaxy of Terror –  This 1981 SF freaky produced by Roger Corman (The Masque of the Red Death) has some fine scary and gory zooms, nice jump out moments, a little bit of fantasy, and some funny tossed in for good measure. The space scenery and creepy ship effects look good, especially decent if you think about how much worse and uber low budget it could have been. Okay, so it’s too dark in some spots, the eighties music is too loud, and the bad laser effects give me a headache. It’s tough to tell who is forgettable who beyond Erin Moran (Happy Days) and Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street), the controls look like Simon, and the creature effects are quite the hokey.  Having said all that, the creepy and freaky works!  Contemporary audiences might not like the rapacious nasties, psychological fears, and disturbing body horror if they haven’t seen this one before, but it still works damn fine and better than predictable modern slashers.

My Bloody Valentine – There’s more forgettable 1981 interchangeable hokey hicks here- but this time all the juicy gore, unique deaths, and claustrophobic dangers are in a great labyrinthine mine inhabited by a pickaxe wielding killer.  The re-inserted deadly details are shocking and sweet, with interesting or askew camerawork, kink, and mystery. However, the scenes are unrestored and noticeably out of place- making a tough viewing for some audiences who expect a bit more polish on blu-ray.  Naturally due to the titular Valentine plot twists, I’m not so sure this is a good October or Halloween-esque film.  Then again, we could all use a little freaky in our February, for sure. I must say I did predict the killer’s identity before the finale, but it was dang entertaining in getting there nonetheless.

Near Dark – Oscar winning director Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker) also co-wrote this cult cowboy-esque and unique 1987 vampire tale starring Adrian Pasdar (Heroes), Jenny Wright (St. Elmo’s Fire), Bill Paxton (Aliens), Lance Henriksen (Aliens), Jenette Goldstein (Aliens), and Joshua John Miller (he’s the kid brother in Teen Witch!). Granted the Southern eighties style may seem dated or too country to some. However, this is quite the stylized show, with a serious look at nomadic vampire rites of passage and dangerous family drama.  There’s even room for humor, sardonic fun, and a little romance, too.  Traditional vampire bits are here- though in unexpected ways- and there is plenty of blood, gruesome, fire, and deaths. Yet this isn’t all gore and bite juice for the sake of it, rather most of the meat is handled by twisted performance alone.  It’s subtle, sexy, and the blu-ray looks great.

Swamp Thing – There’s a great story here from the DC Comics plots- all kinds of kinky, monster innuendo, power debates, sociological statements, and demented science.  I do, however, expect a little more polish from director Wes Craven (Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream), as the photography and editing presentation hampers this most. Despite the serious relationships onscreen, numerous and disjointed fade ins or weird slide transitions make this feel like a series of action incidents rather than a cohesive tale. Thankfully, the swampy water and South Carolina locations work wonderfully, and Adrienne Barbeau (The Fog), Ray Wise (Twin Peaks), and the late Dick Durock (also of the Swamp Thing TV series) are a lot of fun. Though he appears to have never been in anything else, Reggie Batts is also a scene-stealing treat as the sarcastic Jude. We can believe Barbeau as the smart, sexy woman who can handle herself, as well- just that dang 1982 mini afro mullet combo hair does not work. Louis Jourdan (Octopussy) is also mustache twisting villainy sweet, even if the monster make-up and the action finale is quite hokey.  Fortunately, the uncut version is currently available on Netflix’s Instant Watch, complete with boobs a plenty.  And really, I’m so, so tired of forthcoming 3D remakes!

The Thing – Director John Carpenter (Halloween, Christine) mixes alien fears, scary isolation, dangerous locations, miscommunications, mistrust, suspicion, and more in this 1982 science fiction freaky.  In some of the hectic scenes, it may be tough to tell who is who in the all-male cast, yes. But stars Kurt Russell (Escape from New York), Keith David (Platoon), and Wilfred Brimley (Cocoon, or rather, The Quaker Oats Guy) build all the paranoia necessary. Everyone is afraid of not just the titular menacing getting in, but also of letting it out into the populated world- which is exactly what it wants. Maybe some of the effects are corny today, but the gore also looks gruesome good whilst also being realistic or bizarrely well thought.  Jumps and scares, of the time restrictions, little technology to help, and a jury-rigged compound add to the horror, too. And again, I’m not interested in the remake. Why, oh why, oh why would anyone be?

More Dated Cult and Camp Horror

More Cultish Horror and Dated Mayhem

By Kristin Battestella

It’s October! That means it’s time for more eighties cult creepies, dated sf scares, metaphysical frights, and otherwise campy or horrific fair.

Audrey Rose – Director Robert Wise’s (The Sound of Music, West Side Story) 1977 child horror movie isn’t really that much of a horror film, but rather an abstract psychological eerie.  Then again, I suppose it says something about today’s desensitization when battling for her reincarnated soul Susan Swift (Harper Valley PTA) just comes off as very annoying kid with a serious set of scream pipes.  Fortunately, the adult leads Marsha Mason (Chapter Two, Drop Dead Fred) and Anthony Hopkins (Silence of the Lambs, must I go on?) keep the film watchable thanks to spiritual debates, reincarnation dialogues, tearful action, and upsetting misaction. With such metaphysical topics, it’s also very tough to come to a finite conclusion, but the story never feels like it is a swinging New Age groovy exploration, either. Though the beliefs may be far reaching globally, the stars keep the trauma intimate- and I must say that NYC apartment is damn cozy in its opulence!

Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness – These 1987 and 1992 sequels from writer and director Sam Raimi (Darkman) get progressively further away from the great zombie gore of the original Evil Dead to become more campy comedy.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Dead II still offers plenty of chainsaw wielding fun for a frat party of yore. The preposterous undead and retcon after retcon could get irritating if you really thought about it, but why should you? Star Bruce Campbell (Burn Notice) creatively dashes off one deadite after another to keep the pace bemusing and lively.  For Army of Darkness, we’re treated to the unusual combination of medieval undead and reanimated skeletons battling against corny 20^th century quips and heroics.  Yes, it sounds dumb, and new audiences will most definitely balk at the thought of Harryhausen-esqe battle skeletons.  Nevertheless, it looks 14^th century on form and every joke still nails it.

Hellraiser – BDSM gone awry! Writer and director Clive Barker’s (Lord of Illusions) interdimensional torment fest still scares me just a little bit.  The claustrophobic camerawork allows for some great jump out moments, the gore is just right, and the teen in peril plots are done quite reasonably.  Ashley Laurence handles herself versus Doug Bradley’s unnamed but intelligently sinister Pinhead, and the latent speculation on pain of the utmost coming from someone else’s idea of the pinnacle of pleasure offers several layers of perversion.  Sure, some of the cheap 1987 style shows in Clare Higgns’ (The House of Mirth) fashions, but does it hamper the kinky, sexy, murderous gravitas? Nope. Yes, the plethora of sequels might not be the best, but seriously, a 3D remake crosses the line!

The Howling- Something wolfy is apaw for Dee Wallace (E.T.) ‘pre-Stone’ in this 1981 wolf effects dream. Director Joe Dante (Gremlins) isn’t afraid to have a few winks and wit tossed in for the audience and the attention to lycan designs still looks good.  The transformations aren’t horror for horror’s sake; they earn time with both twisted delight for some and bestial torment for others.  There are a few creeps and scares to spin with the sexy and kinky as well.  Okay, there are probably a few hokey things.  However, the over the eighties topness we expect is actually quite tame amid the 1981 maturity here.  Patrick Macnee (The Avengers) is always a treat, and the women on both sides of the silver are treated as strong, intelligent, and independent whilst also being no less scared, sexy, or perpetually in peril.  Hot diggity dog! 

 

Night of the Comet – Now this has some 1984 hairstyles and essential montages of the day! Catherine Mary Stewart (Weekend at Bernie’s), Robert Beltran (Star: Trek Voyager), and Kelli Maroney (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) have a fun look at chicks takin’ it to doomsday along with some solid tunes and horror wit.  However, the plots here are a little uneven, I must say. Zombie scares, romance, and science fiction disturbia- it’s almost as if three separate films get stuck together. Why are we dealing with evil scientists? I though there were zombies about? Oh, but those New Wave Devo guys were undead? Really? There is a bit too much and yet not enough going on, but the comedy and lack of taking things too seriously keep this one watchable-Tempest high scores aside, of course.

 

Waxwork- A fine cast- including Zach Galligan (Gremlins), Deborah Foreman (Valley Girl), Michelle Johnson (Blame It on Rio), Dana Ashbrook (Doesn’t anyone else remember Girlfriend from Hell?), David Warner (Titanic), and Patrick Macnee (yes, him again)- begin wonderfully in this 1988 first of several evil melts run amok. The assorted effects from the werewolf and vampire bads look great, and the vignettes per wax display have just the perfect amount of creepy, bloody, scary, and sexy.  Unfortunately, a lot of the good falls apart for the final act.  Though the gore in the museum free for all finale is very creative, the lame explanation about a voodoo apocalypse and the 18 baddest of the bad limps to the finish, leaving you scratching your head if you think too long about it.  Thankfully, there’s plenty of humor to keep it all fun.

And one for the Novelty Alone

Village of the Damned – John Carpenter’s (Halloween) 1995 remake has a very sweet cast, indeed: Christopher Reeve (in his last film before his riding accident), Mark Hamill, Linda Kozlowski, Michael Pare, Kirstie Alley, and Meredith Salenger.  I mean, that’s Superman, Luke Skywalker, Crocodile Dundee’s Woman, Eddie without the Cruisers, Saavik, and Natty Gan!  Unfortunately, all the talent is for naught as creepy kids who should have had a good beat down dominate the barely there adults.  Obviously, she has done drama well, but Kirstie Alley is totally unbelievable as a government scientist here, becoming almost as laughable as her best comedy. Poor Christopher Reeve is stuck as the man alone struggling needlessly against these dang alien kids and none of it really makes that much sense.  I suppose this might not be that bad and is still watchable and entertaining for the stars. But it could have been so much better- and we expect a lot more from Carpenter.