Hot Takes on Streaming Channels

 

Hot Takes on Streaming Channels 

by Kristin Battestella

Thanks to end of the year holiday sales, $1 or two for a month or two packages, and add on options; our house currently has a lot of streaming choices! We dropped a few and some have been disappointing, so here are my hot takes on which streaming services work – or didn't work – for us. I mean, who can keep up with all the content much less afford everything?

Always Have 'em for Better or Worse

Netflix – Reasonably I know not all of Netflix's content is originals, but at first glance, it always seems like they have nothing but originals. It's a far cry from Netflix being the original go-to place for catalog content. Other family members burn through their quantity over quality similar shows, but I am still working from a Netflix DVD queue. It's becoming slower and slower with a lot of discs saved, damaged, and not available, but sometimes it is my last resource for finding older movies.

Prime – Amazon's interface is still a pain, with free with ads FreeVee and rent or buy releases pushed to the forefront. Even their originals seem buried and unpromoted, yet at the end of the month, there is a pressuring countdown telling you the hours and minutes you have until a show expires. We seem to use Prime the most for add ons, and I end up watching more things on FreeVee since searching through Prime for what I want to see ends up eating into all the time I could have been watching something.

Hulu – Hulu seems great for current reality programming or next day airings of new network shows. That may be changing as more networks take back their own content, and I have to keep thumbing down all that reality stuff I don't want to see. We've used Hulu for different add ons as well, as HBO inside Hulu was useful when HBO Max kept crashing, and last year we had a Hulu Live package for local sports. The family has watched a lot of their original shows, but we don't really get much out of the ESPN+ option that comes with Hulu.

Britbox – Currently included with Prime, I love to hang on to Britbox for a lot of classic British shows. I don't watch as much of their current programming, but the vintage comforts are a must. It is frustrating, however, when there is a new British show I do want to see that does not come to BritBox US, forcing us to add another platform.

These Could be Worth the Money

AMC + - Shudder, IFC, and Sundance come with the AMC package, providing great horror originals, odd indies, and retro comedy. It's odd to have so many loud commercials on their livestreams – especially when there are AMC showcase channels and marathon livestreams available on The Roku Channel. I've also done been over Walking Dead content forever. However, with a hefty back catalog and if you are invested in their shows or recent Anne Rice originals, this could be worth the bang for the buck. We tend to carry it for awhile, then drop it when we aren't actively using it, but then pick it up again during a sale.

STARZ – We have had STARZ both as Hulu and Prime add ons as deals come and go, but this streamer really benefits from the Encore channels included in their package thanks to great older films and retro content. I really like their livestreams and being able to just click and have a fun movie on in the background. I don't watch a lot of their original programming, so we're not adding on to expressly see their content, but the movie catalog often keeps its worth.

Disney + – My family members eat up all things Marvel and The House of Mouse, but the new stuff really does not interest me. I have my usual classic comfort movies and comedies in my list, but I often forget Disney is where they are. Occasionally we will drop Disney for a little while, but then something someone wants to see brings us back, which obviously is their M.O. with the constant new release Marvel and Star Wars shows. There will always be a certain audience here no matter how stagnant the rest of their programming.

Acorn TV – We recently had then dropped this BritBox competitor that offers more UK and Australian content. I like their documentaries and educational shows, but rather than wait for Down Under TV I want to see like Jack Irish stream here, I just buy the DVDs. I feel like this is the type of service to get when you expressly want enough of their exclusive programs to make it worthwhile.

Apple TV – Likewise recently canceled, my husband watched all the shows he wanted to watch and now there is no reason to keep it until new seasons come around again. There are some great Apple programs, and I wanted to watch The Essex Serpent but never got around to it. However this interface is also very confusing to me, muddled together as both prestige TV and a content provider? Though now available on the Roku TVs, it was also very weird when we needed a separate Apple TV box with it's own fancy remote control. It reminded me of Chromecast in the days of yore.

Freebies!

The Roku Channel – Now that you can add a save list on the Roku Channel, I end up watching this free option quite a bit. There are also a bunch of Live TV channels that make background options and channel surfing easy. The new Roku search isn't the best – some of our TVs include Netflix in the results while others do not thanks to updates and technicalities I'm sure. Fortunately, there are a lot of older shows or forgotten movies available here. They do have originals like Chrissy's Court, ads of which I'm tired of seeing, but the two minutes or less bumpers are negligible compared to cable commercials that go on so long you forget what you were watching.

Tubi TV – For all these pay services, we probably watch Tubi more. They have some great old horror movies, classic television shows not available elsewhere, and more recent movies rotating per month. Granted some of their original content is a hot mess, but the catalog is easily searched and organized, with unique categories and reasonable leaving soon notifications.

Vudu – Vudu has a lot of the same free content available on Tubi or FreeVee, but occasionally they have different movies available. Their movie collections to buy can also be worth the price when they are larger franchise sets that include all the movies and all the features or bonuses that used to often be found on DVD or blu-ray sets. Why have all the extras never made it onto streaming platforms?

I'm Unsure about These, Honestly

HBO Max – We finally let this go recently, and now I see the prices have been raised while they are dropping content left and right. I wasn't impressed with their originals and the interface was always impossible. I was really only hanging on for their TCM content, and we are leery of what is going to happen to the core HBO catalog when all this Discovery combo hogwash is said and done. I wouldn't pay that price to slog through such reality crap when I all want to see is classics. It's fascinating that everyone and their grandma rushed to have their own streaming service, yet now Warner is selling off it's big titles to other platforms.

Paramount + – The fam of course is here for all the new Star Trek content, but I use Paramount mostly for older movies and the livestreams. They have some great comedies, but a lot of their content is available elsewhere, so it seems like this is another that is only worth it if you are watching their latest of the moment original. They don't even have all the Star Trek movies!

MGM + – We had this briefly when it was Epix, but now the rebranding as MGM+ adds confusion with Prime since Amazon owns MGM, right? As Epix, it only had a few shows and old movies that seemed bottom of the streaming services barrel, yet now they are getting more originals and some of those British shows that don't come to BritBox. So this is going to continue to be a separate service with its own original content? I don't think I'd pay for this separately again, but it will be interesting to see if this is folded into Prime at some point.

Peacock – Honestly, I confuse what is on Peacock and Paramount, even though I know one is CBS and the other is NBC. There isn't much with the free ad options, a lot of the paywall content is similar to Hulu, and maybe I just don't watch enough current NBC shows to make it worthwhile? It seems like a lot of their classic content is still licensed to other platforms, but we'll probably be picking this up again when it is time to watch another season of a current show the family is following. I am also baffled by them moving Days of Our Lives to Peacock only. You expect old ladies to sign up for soaps?

Screambox – We had this briefly as a Prime add on during a sale. We watched a lot of the retro horror movies, then forgot about it before we remembered to cancel it. I had some of the movies in my queue, which showed that they were also available with the AMC+ Shudder package. I think there are a lot of these cheap horror channels, but they usually only have a few movies that aren't available on the dime a dozen free horror stations.

Wondrium – I really liked this platform when it was just the Great Courses Channel. Although the interface was a pain whether it was an add on or the stand alone with more content, this rebranding added so many more filler documentaries that aren't up to par with the academic options found in The Great Courses. Frankly, the name is dumb, too, and it's sad The Great Courses couldn't survive without a merger. Even if I'm in the mood for a Great Courses deep dive, it's a chore to get into this service now.

Not Worth It, Sorry

Cinemax – It's pretty bad when my husband says that Cinemax isn't even worth the $1 sale! Rather than any network originals like they used to have in the cable glory days or even any saucy Skin content of old, the catalog here is pretty bereft. The handful of livestreams are the only thing marginally interesting here, as they show movies that are also available on HBO Max. It leaves Cinemax still seemingly like a second run HBO, and I wonder where this will end up with the Warner Discovery chopping block.

Showtime – If you are invested in a Showtime original series, this could be worth the price, but I can't imagine why else you would pay the full $10 a month here. There are some newer release movie exclusives and catalog binges, but this is another one that feels like a waste when added on with Prime. Paramount also seems like they are going to reclaim the brand for their service. They already advertise what's available on Showtime in their categories in order to force you to add Showtime on there, and I kind of hate that hard sell. I'm also still miffed how they did Penny Dreadful dirty, but that's another story.

Shiz, having all these full price would be more expensive then cable. I do still have a basic cable plan, but I can't tell you the last time I watched it. Next I think we may venture into YouTube TV territory, but we'll see how the wallet feels. After all, did I get a VCR to HDMI converter to watch movies only available on VHS? Yes.

A Disappointing Guy Pearce Trio

 

A Disappointing Guy Pearce Trio

by Kristin Battestella

I was saving these ho-hum reviews for other science fiction or action lists – spreading out my Guy Pearce career re-watch as needed. However, it's not really my Mike from Neighbors bias showing if the movies are kind of...not good, right?

Brand New World – I remember seeing this 1998 decidedly British parable also known as Woundings on television a long, long time ago. Though interesting, it seemed edited or that I missed something because nothing made sense. Without subtitles, the thick accents and mumbling dialogue contribute to the confusion despite talent such as Guy Pearce (Lockout), Johnathon Schaech (That Thing You Do!), Charlie Creed-Miles (Essex Boys), and Ray Winstone (Beowulf). At its simplest, this is women entertaining traumatized troops tired of the saucy sheep jokes and on to new fishy mermaid quips. Crappy commercials promise romance and adventure for these “Roses of England” leaving shabby Manchester behind, but the bawdy soldiers get right to the manhandling along the lovely Isle of Man coast. Winking pop music and colorful hooker stylings seem more eighties than the supposed futuristic amid juvenile dances, balloons, and now tame raunchy. Local girls the men supposedly love are beaten and threatened before being replaced by the Englishwomen, for oppressors who apparently saved the day haven't left now that the war is finished. The women observe the soldiers' delicate mine defusing work in tense scenes, but battle action flashbacks are treated as music montage heady brought on by the awkward sex. Of course, the women are blamed for the men's problems and apparently driven to lesbianism thanks to a William-esque regent who greets all newlyweds just to make out with the bride. The extreme training versus returning to society statements are lost in the trying to be edgy, pointless, nonsensical scenes that seem intentionally weird – undercutting the straightforward filming and compromising dramatic momentum. Whether these were already crazy, outlier misfits to start or subsequent shell shock extremes is never answered, and it takes an hour for the heavy to hit home. Fortunately, it is bemusing to see weakling Pearce groveling under Winstone's demented colonel. I love Pearce's dedication to mucking up his teeth for a character, and he takes Sarah-Jane Potts (Kinky Boots) to the cemetery. That's my kind of date! Well lit eeriness accents fine revenge, body bags, and limbs on the battlefield while distorted camera angles mirror the oppressive with large background figures looming over the small people at the forefront. A man holding a toy purple gun at a woman foreshadows the sexual implications as well as the one on one cliff side confrontations – for one way or another, the cowardly soldier will prove his manhood. Despite a great cast, lovely locales, and potential social commentary; the overlong, low budget incomprehensible never puts the pieces all together. I almost wish the same cast would remake this right.

Domino – Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jamie Lannister), Carice van Houten (Melisandre), and Guy Pearce (Melisandre's non-Shadow Baby Daddy) star in director Brian De Palma's (Scarface) 2019 international thriller opening with Copenhagen style, buddy cops, and saucy night shifts. Rustic locales, staircases, and classy colors contrast the night time shadows, seedy, and edgy before seemingly simple domestic calls lead to elevators and bloody revelations. Foreground and background splices show both slights of hand, but surprising police mistakes hurt the gory victims, rooftop chases, perilous falls, and shadowy men in suits. Split screens parallel the gentile upstairs of the CIA safe house and its captivity below with intimidating video interrogations and threatening kids, but the overbearing score draws attention to itself. Fade in intercuts on scenes that are so thematically different make the film seem unfinished with hasty, disjointed pacing and tough to follow terrorist attacks that aren't fully explained. Why are we firing on people at a film premiere like a first person shooter video game? Personal violence, bone cracking, inner turmoil, and revenge are better brutal, yet we repeatedly leave potential triangles, quiet moments, mirrors, and unique angles for an attempted mainstream terrorism thriller chopping off people's heads. Between police investigations, belying suspect encounters, unnecessary bad guys, and explosive CIA puzzles, there are just too many stories at once. The primary character relationships should be enough with suspensions, affairs, and conflict at the top; but with international scene changes, fast continental travel, and Copenhagen police so far out of their jurisdiction in Spain, there's little time for dramatic conversations and truth amid the espionage. Critical character moments are stupidly revealed via scrolling through their smartphone photos, and wise audiences can spot the foreshadowing in the first ten minutes. Convenient clues are given to the characters in the last half hour, compromising the intrigue as artistic locations give way to silly drones and cliché bullfights. Binocular views, silent chases, and decoys are nice touches, but the suspense is inexplicably detached rather than Hitchcockian man alone. Are we supposed to care or be afraid and for whom? Spectators don't notice vendors shooting people at an event? Our in over their heads cops never inform authorities and it's a kick in the groin that saves the day? With six minutes of credits, this is a busy eighty-two minutes when we should have simply stayed with our initial police as they unravel the CIA revelations in the finale. Strange music cues more heroic than in danger acerbate the falling apart motivation and confusing messages. It's more important to arrest a man for a stabbing in Denmark than let him do his necessary CIA dirty work? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Seeking Justice – Nicolas Cage (National Treasure) and January Jones (X-Men: First Class) join Guy Pearce in this ham-fisted 2011 revenge thriller that starts with rape and descends into more awkwardness as it strays from the original justice. Nonsensical, overly contrived machinations trap innocent people into doing a secret vigilante group's dirty work when the elusive organization obviously has the means to do everything themselves. Threatening to murder the victimized, chasing people into traffic, framing an investigative reporter – how is this justice? Cops in on the “hungry rabbit jumps” passwords wink at the entire mob-like effort: if they do something for you, you have to do something for them via the right candy bar from the vending machine, buying a pack of gum, or mailing letters to Santa at the zoo. Such convoluted Rube Goldbergs at the hot dog stand aren't amusing for the audience, and any commentary about ineffectual legalese, bad law enforcement, the secret wealthy, or who you know being able to take vengeance into their own hands gets lost in the inexplicable. Phones, disc evidence, convenient car technology, computer ease, and newspaper snooping are very dated on top of obvious storage sheds, copies of copies, and preposterous incriminating footage. Supposedly elaborate Simon Says voiceovers become a chore to watch amid loud Monster Trucks shows, roundabout shootouts, and abandoned malls complete with mannequin decoys. District school teacher Cage is out of breath and not up to the action with Jones' local cellist – a very unrealistic and unbelievable couple living well beyond their means in a swanky New Orleans loft. Flashes of the attack and the injured woman in the hospital are more about his anger than her assault. Rather than her target practice or experiencing her recovery, we follow how his life is turned upside down by saying no to this vigilante organization. If he had been assaulted and couldn't deal with it while this group further terrorizes him with the repercussions, that would have been compelling. Instead, one wonders if the men should have reversed roles, for Cage hamming it up as a maniacal baddie enjoying the pursuit could have been interesting. Pearce is an intriguing, suave, commanding thug, but he'd be much more believable as the caught up every man evenly matched with Jones. By time we're down to the man alone on the run and the sacrificial Black best friend, there's no reason to stick around unless you are fans of the cast. I can't lie though, when Guy Pearce jokes about tax evasion to Nicolas Cage, I guffawed.

Have I see each of these movies more than they deserve? Yes. 🤣

The Head (2020)

 

I Had to Skip Over The Head.

by Kristin Battestella

The six episode internationally produced 2020 HBO Max original The Head seems to have it all thanks to ambiguous scientists, antarctic thrills, and psychological isolation. Unfortunately, dual sets of characters and multiple back and forth storylines make it easy to skip over the aimless distractions and contrived flashbacks.

The departing Polaris VI summer crew parties to open The Head as the incoming winter team boasts the top elite minds vowing to continue the research begun on the previous Polaris V Station. Puffy jackets, warm hats, artificial lights, and common room airings of The Thing accent the realistic languages and multiple goodbyes with video chats and couples that won't see each other for six months. However handheld pans following multiple people, always in motion tracking shots, and constantly on the move cameras are too busy – belying the long term polar nights and frosty, compartmentalized facility. The metallic, submarine cramped acerbates grudges and past rifts among rival scientists, but The Head fades to six months later and the first daylight as the summer crew returns to unexpected radio silence.

I...ugh...erm... 🙄

It's extremely frustrating when shows suggest one thing and do another only to change again, decoying viewers rather than telling a cohesive story. The Head restarts with bloody hand prints, damaged snow vehicles, bullet holes, and frozen bodies. Why didn't we begin with the returning crew discovering the horror unknown? Reunion anticipation turns to fear for missing loved ones, and kitchen barricades reveal a hidden survivor – a young girl who is clearly far too young to be a doctor. The frenetic camera is again unnecessary as she recounts the crazed events, going back to were we left that six months cutoff for rookie races and an esteemed biologist nobody likes. Which story is The Head supposed to be telling, the winter mayhem or the summer mystery? The present worry and past conflicts annoy more than endear, undercutting both narratives as the wrong point of view. Despite the international casting and linguistics, The Head is also still dominated by white Europeans, with minorities characters reduced to lesser stereotypical roles and many players never fully introduced as to why they are there and what they are doing. It's difficult to tell who or what is important – people are said to be missing and we're not sure if we even saw them. Disorienting filming may be meant to mirror the distraught state of mind, but it calls attention to itself and the omnipresent POV problems. How can the survivor know what happened in situations where she wasn't present? Sabotaged satellite connections, torn letters, and present investigations must wait as Hour Two delves into unreliable but obvious flashbacks (told by the young survivor who wasn't on the Polaris V station eight years ago, hint hint) of rare bacterium discoveries, dead colleagues, and arguments over who stole the credit. Too much is going on in both storylines, yet long drawn out scenes with the rookies who admit to not knowing what they are doing feel like they could be watched on one and a half speed. Any past trapped suspense is deflated by a break from the present, creating no character immersion despite chilly risks, pointing fingers, and violence from the previous station as The Head's faulty framework adds a third setting. Unlikable, ubiquitous characters make the past with the past mystery easy to figure out immediately, but The Head drags on with the present characters unable to rescue more survivors in time because they are stuck listening to the past hear tell.

Any significant deaths, gunshots, or explosions are covered in the previouslies, so by Episode Three, I was skipping around on The Head. Scientists with no basic medical knowledge have to repeat what to do in time wasting minutia disguised as tense action scenes that do little to advance the plot, and I fast forwarded through pointless operations and futile exercises. The survivor telling the story angle is also dropped as the scenes move from present, six months ago, and eight years ago as if they are concurrent plots. Watching news video on the Polaris V disaster fills viewers in on the collapse and melting ice while in the past, the winter team trekked there to retrieve matching hardware. Stir crazy army men with guns, stolen research, and perilous storms take turns being the primary focus as hitherto unknown dead characters become more important than anyone we've actually met. Here is where I called the mystery for what it was, as everyone is revealed to have something shocking about them that isn't all that shocking. What should be claustrophobic trapped in a tent and low on resources desperation drags on with video logs and psychological test recordings montaged for the audience. We see current people watching the past crew talk about the prior station whilst also watching the past crew investigating the station prior despite knowing they are all dead. The Head creates detached delays for the viewer rather than having anyone solve anything. I'm surprised there is a Second Season, as this debut should have been three seasons of three hour events – the initial discovery fallout eight years ago, six months ago gone crazy aftermath, current investigation resolution. By this point, I skipped on to the Final Episode with whispers, cover ups, and affairs on Polaris V. Quelle surprise, egotistical men are roughing up the women and stealing their work. Nasty people are blackmailing each other to get what they want because it's all about saving the planet! Now flashbacks of threats from the past on Polaris V play telephone with autopsies and evidence rushed in the last half hour of the present where they never deduced, merely sat back while others told of killer chases around the station. The answer to what was obvious all along plays like some sort of surprising revelation in the final moments, completely underestimating any viewers who hung on with The Head this long.

I hadn't intended to review The Head in long form, but my notes were many and my frustration strong. I hate being mean, but numerous recent series keep making the same mistakes – not focusing on where the story and characters are thanks to an unnecessarily chopped up and drawn out narrative. I'd love to find a taut, icy series or submarine thriller, but The Head is sadly just another in a long list disappointing television e.g. The Deep and The Last Ship.