The
Golden Palace Falters Greatly
by
Kristin Battestella
The
1992-93 spin-off of The
Golden Girls sees sexy
southern belle Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan), simple St. Olafian
Rose Nylund (Betty White), and sassy Sicilian Sophia Petrillo
(Estelle Getty) buy a hotel in The
Golden Palace.
Don Cheadle (Boogie
Nights)
as manager Roland Wilson and Cheech Marin (Up
in Smoke)
as Chef Chuy Castillos also star in this lone twenty-four episode
season, but the bevy of guest stars can't overcome the repetitive
writing, poor characterizations, and situational upheaval.
The
Golden Palace opens
where The Golden Girls ends
in “Pilot” as our
remaining girls sell their house after Bea Arthur's exit as the newly
wed Dorothy Zbornak. Instead of the luxury hotel life, however, the
lack of staff and in the red books mean the ladies have to work the
Palace themselves. The zingers are still there along with the cheeky
newcomers, but The Golden
Palace is
best when everyone is once again around the kitchen table. Solving
the dilemmas over cheesecake, unfortunately, is precious and few as
The Golden Palace
often
spends time on the unnecessary rather than the chemistry. In “Ebbtide
for the Defense,” our staff has to double up three to a room amid
cranky lawyer guests and canceled liability insurance as the girls
realize running a hotel is tough. Of
course, Bea Arthur returns as Dorothy in
the “Seems Like Old Times” two-parter, wanting Sophia to come
live with her in a plot already done multiple times on The
Golden Girls. The
girls having to wait tables themselves could have been done without
Dorothy, but she is classy in acerbic perfection with charm and
banter as if nothing has changed. The
Golden Palace addresses
the series transition with great tears and elevated performances when
our ladies admit how Dorothy's leaving made them feel unneeded.
Dorothy's surprised how hard they work but not afraid to tell off the
guests, and The
Golden Palace lacks
this vigor. Previously, the ladies were socially vital, active with
charities and events, but now their lives are stagnant and they
hardly go beyond the hotel doors. Christmas
Eve isn't divorced Chuy's favorite in “It's Beginning to Look a Lot
(Less) Like Christmas.” He's right about excessive gifts, holiday
debt, cleaning up after, and the depression of the season but dreams
of A Christmas Carol
with Rose as a Past angel, Blanche as “Presents,” and a tricked
out Future Sophia. While typical, The
Golden Palace should
have done more of these theatrics and costumes. Blanche suspects
guest Harold Gould (Rhoda)
as Rose's boyfriend Miles Webber is cheating
in
“Miles, We Hardly Knew Ye,” and the episode
wastes a lot of time before he arrives to tell Rose he has indeed met
someone else. Fortunately, we can't hate Nanette Fabray (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) as
his intended Fern in
“Rose and Fern”– though The
Golden Palace misses
the opportunity to make Fern a relative like Rose's sisters Lily and
Holly or add extra winks about Rhoda's
dad marrying Mary's mom. A terse restaurant critic dies after eating
Chuy's cooking in “You've Lost That Livin' Feeling,” but news
crews and health inspectors are arriving for the hotel's grand
re-opening in what feels like a 1993 sweeps reset. Rat poison and a
dead body lead to cumulative physical comedy as the body moves from
the freezer to a heavy suitcase and the laundry chute before someone
ends up in bed with it. This is the first really memorable episode of
The Golden Palace, and
it should have come much sooner.
Chuy
wants to go into business with Sophia's pizza and she does a ceremony
to pass down her recipe, but this fine story competes with the
titular Ned Beatty (Homicide: Life on the Street) in
“Tad.” Blanche's family put away her special needs brother, and
the terminology and some of the misunderstandings played for humor
come off wrong. However, it's poignant that Rose is able to relate
and mend Blanche's being ashamed in an Emmy worthy standout from an
otherwise subpar year. Herbert Edelman returns as ex son-in-law Stan
Zbornak in “One Angry Stan,” having faked his death over IRS
troubles. His video will was tapped over with a bikini fest amid
humorous eulogies and choice nods to The
Golden Girls in
what might have made a fun premiere
had
the girls inherited the hotel from him. Spring
Break, Rose's granddaughter, frat pranks, and a giant burrito aren't
the worst in “Sex, Lies, and Tortillas” but the lack of time to
focus on the ageism, visual gags, sex, and menopause is indicative of
everything wrong this season. Despite fresh scenery attempting to
lure new audiences, The
Golden Palace
is not meant for newcomers. The ladies are never introduced, and
Dorothy is repeatedly mentioned without explanation. Presuming
nineties audiences to be
aware of The Golden Girls'
eighties
success
is simply the wrong point of view, yet the situational comedy falls
back on tired punchlines rather than fully utilizing the strong
characterizations that made The
Golden Girls so
memorable. Here it's as if they aren't even allowed to say “Picture
it...Sicily” or “Back in St. Olaf...” and the perpetual need
for business in “Promotional Considerations” is slow to get to
the point. Rose telling Roland to smile and sing “Zip-a-Dee-Do-Dah”
is inappropriately played for laughs, and Blanche is angry that he
“usurps” her. This second episode could have been the pilot,
showing the hotel problems in
media res, but
the minorities in subservient positions and their charged
conflicts are passed off as humor. Sophia once again has a money
scheme in “One Old Lady to Go,” using a Chinese restaurant with
the same name to sell their takeout as room service while Rose helps
a senile guest in crowded Golden
Girls repeats.
The superfluous A, B, and C busy interferes with serious moments like
those that previously earned our ladies Emmys. Often The
Golden Palace doesn't
know what an episodes is about, and Blanche's romance in “Just
a Gigolo” is all offscreen thanks to self-help hotel seminars and
Chuy walking on hot coals to overcome his fear. A live comedy radio
show at the hotel and Roland's divorcing parents are likewise two
plots too big for “Marriage
on the Rocks with a Twist.” Carol
Burnett alums
Harvey Korman and Tim Conway provide practical jokes and wrong
transsexual quips poorly repeating both “Till Death Do We Volley”
and “Goodbye Mr. Gordon” from The
Golden Girls.
Roland's
parents are also named George and Louise – as in Jefferson as if
they couldn't think of any other names for a Black couple – and
Blanche doesn't understand while Roland objects to a Southern
Daughters group in “Camp Town Races Aren't Nearly as Much Fun as
They used to Be.” He's talking about white sheets but she tells him
he's overreacting about the Confederate flag, and while many Golden
Palace episodes
are weak and repetitive, this episode is downright disturbing. Though
produced third, “Runaways” was apparently dumped in January and
Roland taking care of a foster child should have been a one and done
episode. In rare outdoor footage, Sophia steal's a guest's car and
Blanche runs away from her responsibilities in an episode again
littered with too many things. Blanche and Rose fight over a man in
“Heartbreak Hotel” while Sophia ignores Roland's clear discomfort
at a couples seminar in a surprisingly mean spirited entry, and in
“Senor Stinky Learns
Absolutely Nothing About Life” Blanche is oblivious to her sexual
harassment. She has to learn how not to mix business with pleasure
even when rival hotelier Ricardo Montalban (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn)
comes on to her. It would have been great to see Montalban recur in
competitive suave, but the serious issues are down played while a
volleyball competition pads time. Blanche's
son Bill Engvall (Blue
Collar Comedy Tour)
and George Burns come for comedy club night, and Chuy wants to enter
too in “Say Goodbye, Rose.” The
Golden Girls already
had Dorothy doing stand up and Bob Hope made a surprise appearance,
but Eddie Albert (Green
Acres)
as a lookalike to Rose's late husband Charlie completes the lifted
from The Golden Girls
trifecta.
Short notice tickets to be on The
Price is Right in
“A New Leash on Life” are also reminiscent of “Grab That Dough”
on The Golden Girls.
We
do get to leave the hotel briefly, but the race track and greyhounds
are told more than seen in too many serious storylines that don't get
their due. Sophia needing a vacation and Roland potentially leaving
for a bigger hotel makes “Pros and Concierge” seem like a good
finale. It's only the third time they leave the hotel, too, and
filler misunderstandings leave Roland humiliated and wearing a safari
outfit because Blanche thought she was doing good. Blanche is also
suddenly serious about a wealthy cattle baron who proposes and wants
kids in “The Chicken and The Egg.” Debra Engle returns as
Blanche's daughter Rebecca, but the heavy conversation about asking
her for an egg is off camera thanks to an old ladies self-defense
class subplot, and the dream sequence with everyone having giant
pregnancy bellies is downright stupid.
Rue
McClanahan's Blanche is wistful about all the many men her old bed
had seen and wants to advertise the hotel by using her picture. Mama
told her sex was a women's duty and she's been a good little soldier
ever since. Chuy counters that Blanche is a five star general to be
saluted, but her spicy reputation is told rather than seen on The
Golden Palace. Although she was
always the selfish work shy one on The Golden Girls,
Blanche becomes increasingly unlikable when Roland accurately says
she passes all the hotel problems onto someone else. She uses petty
cash to buy a new dress and marks the ledger with “whoops” when
she loses money with no realization or consequence. Blanche fires
others and won't take blame for making the initial bad hotel deal
before admitting she never thought this business would be so tough.
Rather than her previous vivacious, she
chases the pool hunk and gets taken by a gigolo – now a foolish,
horny old lady in unnecessary character sabotage. Betty White's
dimwitted Rose thinks the 2-4 years on a puzzle is the time for
completion. Since The Golden Girls, she's
begun shaving above the knee, bought a new teddy bear, and
confesses she stole candy once. Rose stands up for herself multiple
times but strengthening the character becomes one step forward two
steps back when The Golden Palace reverts
Rose to extreme stupidity. Her St. Olaf stories are also oft told of
yet never actually told. It's unfair that she does all the labor for
forty-two rooms, her
relationship with Miles deserved better attention, and the animal
welfare statements when she steals a dog scheduled to be put down are
lost in the hectic plotting. Estelle Getty as Sophia does all
the Italian cooking but turns over the meat and re-serves it to an
angry customer who sent it back. She plays poker with Chuy and her
purse contains bingo cards, brass knuckles, and 101 Jokes for the
John. Sophia doesn't get a real plot of her own save for
Dorothy's return, and she spends most of that off screen as if The
Golden Palace doesn't know what
to do with her sans her daughter. The new Shady Pines home has
more amenities than the hotel, but Sophia wants to remain busy. At 88
she isn't ready to slow down yet nods off while vacuuming and flirts
by offering men a raisin – because it's something wrinkly yet so
tasty. Sophia walks through the lobby with a “tramp” or “slut”
punchline as needed, however her softball sexual harassment isn't
funny, and the trying to be cute to get out of doing something bad
wears thin.
Manager
Don Cheadle wants to get in good with the new owners but makes the
mistake of asking Blanche if she has ever spent any time in hotels
before owning one. He's well read and tries passing off arguments in
the lobby as The Golden Palace Players Living Theater. Roland won't
squish bugs and refuses to stick his hand in the chicken when he has
to help in the kitchen. The girls want him to date more in “Can't
Stand Losing You,” but it's stereotypical that Sophia thinks he's
gay and racist that Blanche tries to set him up with the meat lady
just because they are both Black. Roland is right that Blanche's
stories of the South, St. Olaf tales, and Sicilian quips don't always
help. This is a stronger episode letting the players shine as the
family they are, but The Golden Palace is
overcrowded and it's unfair to Cheadle and Cheech Marin as Chuy.
There should have been more subversive references to his pot
brownies! Chuy objects to Sophia in his kitchen criticizing his fine
Mexican cuisine, for he believes any mistake can be covered with
parsley. Unfortunately, his cooking spot on a morning talk show is
all off camera. Chuy's struggles with being divorced also take a
backseat to other stories, and the men often have B plots separate
from the women as if The Golden Palace is
two sitcoms put together. Young Billy Sullivan as (Little
Big League) Roland's foster son Oliver is obnoxious from the
start, doing hotel chores that make viewers wonder about child labor
laws and extorting customers before Sophia blackmails him in a
strangely cruel scheme. Though written off early, out of order
episodes string him along throughout the season, an unnecessary
eighties sitcom holdover unwelcome by 1992. The ugly pink and green
décor is likewise dated with too much wicker and the same kitchen
table from The Golden Girls as
if we aren't supposed to notice. Even the mugs are the same!
Blanche's rearranged room is clearly her original bedroom complete
with the palm tree comforter, and the entire hotel set is an awkward,
wasted space. People must walk passed the television in the lobby or
around a piano, stairs, and the elevator as needed, and the small, in
between dining room magically transforms into a full stage auditorium
for George Burns. The private office beside the reception desk
changes sides while tables and umbrellas in the front courtyard are
rarely used compared to the back courtyard – clearly a lanai
redress – which becomes a fake beach for volleyball. Having had the
ladies wear uniforms suited to their individual styles or at least
name tags to indicate they are staff may have hit home the hotel
setting better, and the friendship lyrics on the updated theme song
ultimately make little sense for The Golden Palace.
Reviewing
The Golden Palace is
disappointing and frustrating. There's a lot to criticize yet
it's easy to zone out on the run of the mill comedy that leaves much
to be desired. Why didn't they remain in the house but have one of
the girls work in a hotel or buy Blanche's previous haunt The Rusty
Anchor to have more musical moments? One
has to wonder why The Golden Girls didn't
just continue with another roommate culled from the series such as
Debbie Reynolds' sassy widow Truby, any of the girls' sisters, Coco
the gay cook, or even communist cousin Magda. The unprepared writers
proceed as if having our remaining ladies repeating Newhart
would be as successful as its
groundbreaking predecessor, but The Golden Palace over
relies on old connections yet changes too much. One person left so
the only solution was to retool the entire show? Rather than making
one cast change as seamless as possible, The Golden Palace
erroneously expects The
Golden Girls audience to remain
despite a rocky upheaval that doesn't know how to focus on its
ensemble.
