The Wicker Man (1973)

The Wicker Man Simply Great Horror

By Kristin Battestella

One of my earliest professional reviews was of the 2006 remake of The Wicker Man.  My critique was right out of the theater, and we now know how that turned out! Yes, a relatively fine cast can’t save that one from its strangely laughable and obvious outcome. Fortunately, this 1973 original tour de force is horror goodness and delight. 

Upon receiving a mysterious letter about a missing girl named Rowan Morrison, devout police sergeant Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) travels to the isolated island of Summerisle where his investigation is strangely blocked at every turn.  Rowan’s mother (Irene Sunter, Take the High Road), school teacher Miss Rose (Diane Cilento), the town registrar (Ingrid Pitt), the seductive tavern lord’s daughter Willow (Britt Ekland) - each presents bizarre beliefs, pagan hysteria, and sexual decadence that test the Sergeant’s realms of expected morality and religion.  Howie eventually meets with Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) and learns about the island’s history of hearty fruit strains, natural blessings and rituals, seasonal parades to numerous gods, fertility rites, and sacrifice.  As the May Day festival approaches, Howie fears for the fate of the missing Rowan- and eventually, for his very soul.

Director Robin Hardy (returning to Summerisle this year with the follow up The Wicker Tree) and writer Anthony Shaffer (Sleuth, Frenzy) build great mystery, brooding, and foreshadowing in this tale taken from David Pinner’s novel The Rite.  Perhaps it’s a relatively familiar story now thanks to The Wicker Man’s horror celebrity status or that aforementioned shadow of a remake.  However, there’s still plenty of innuendo, suspicion, suggestion, and topsy turvy to keep everything well paced and entertaining for an hour and a half.  There’s an intelligent clashing of Pagan versus Christian ideologies, old world discussions, and awry and warnings on both sides.  Naturally, The Wicker Man may put several audiences off thanks to the sexual conversations, ill pagan portrayals, and some stubborn Christianity.  Serious spiritual prudes might just faint, and the pagan picture painted is not a positive one.  The people of Summerisle apparently see no distinction between sacrifice and murder, but is it the outside arm of the law’s right to judge their ways? Both sides would think the other is in an upside down world and wrongs are made all around.  We know someone has to come out on top- and even if you know the ending, it’s still dang scary and smart horror in getting there.

Edward Woodward was the man as The Equalizer (seriously, not even Robert Mitchum could replace him!) and he’s still great here almost 30 years on.  Howie blindy clings to his faith as the paramount rule in all the lands and arbitrarily goes about his lawly ways whether they are warranted or not. On one hand, you have to admire the guy, the one point of sense and proper society on this decadent island! I love the Sergeant’s great buttoned up contrast- always in uniform with his hat on and looking totally seventies city- in a Summerisle that looks like we’ve stepped back in time.  Howie largely represents us, the supposedly better off and enlightened viewer, but his poking his nose where it doesn’t belong will also be his undoing.  We root for him to solve the crimes, but you also yell at the television over some of his stupidity. And seriously, it is very easy for a man to look stupid going toe to toe with Christopher Lee! Woodward’s acerbic Biblical quote for quote prayers and salvation scenes are excellent against the twisted and juicy charismatic and power tripping Lee as Lord Summerisle.  Okay, so I’m really not sure about that wig he’s sporting, but seeing Dracula in Beltane drag is quite bizarre and absolutely memorable.  Perhaps more strangely, the demented pomp only makes Summerisle more attractive and powerful. It does seem such a lovely and orgyriffic island- all Lee’s talk of fruitfulness that just happens to come thanks to a sacrifice at any cost. The audience, however, does have to wonder exactly how much Summerisle actually believes in the pagan potluck he’s been handed. Is it all about the power trip? Or is the faith only while the fruit is good? Lee’s ambiguity adds a shady corner in the match against Woodward’s stalwart, and this core beautifully takes The Wicker Man a step further.

Things are a little more uneven as we turn to the ladies, though I must say.  The stunning triumvirate of Diane Cilento (The Agony and the Ecstasy), Britt Ekland (The Man with the Golden Gun), and Ingrid Pitt (The Vampire Lovers) doesn’t have much to do beyond being an all too supple and willing accomplice.  We don’t get to see as much of the dames as I might have liked performance-wise, and yet, we do get to see a lot otherwise if you know what I mean.  Of course, there’s some thick accents and dubbing going on as well, but Ekland fans will find The Wicker Man must see even if there’s some body doubling for her very naughty serenade. Pitt is actually an unnamed character and only appears in a few scenes, but she’s delightfully delicious as always.  Cilento fairs slightly better as Summerisle’s semi companion and the kinky schoolmarm perpetuating his ideas.  Unlike the iffy remake which is pro women or Spice Girls power in using men as we see fit, here sexual relations seem slightly more misogynistic. The gals answer to the man and the harvest, yes, but they aren’t afraid to be sexual or manipulative as needed either.  It’s a juicy dynamic, and fans of the skin or the girls will enjoy.

In addition to all the fleshy scenery, the Scottish locations look so sweet.  I don’t know much about proper Celtic practices, but the onscreen rituals look awesome and freaky real at the same time. The peasant-esque garb, breezy slip off gowns, kilts, and swinging casual seventies suits also look sharp.  While the photography is a little grainy and there is some unusual editing and cutting, these work in the framework of the film and thrust Sergeant Howie into a surreal, distorted world.  The musical styling, scoring, and songs totally fit within this environment, and the lovely sounds take on several layers of irony, warpedness, or kinky as needed- if you’re still paying attention to what’s really supposed to be going on during “Willow’s Song,” that is!  Some purer horror audiences or contemporary non-musical viewers might find the tunes annoying or at best, you need to be feeling your Celtic music mood.  Nevertheless, the sounds are authentic and flavorful, adding another touch and dimension to The Wicker Man.   

 

Cult horror fans, Lee enthusiasts, and other lovers of the cast should definitely see The Wicker Man. Yes, those touchy about religion or pagan iconography might want to avoid if these audiences feel their respective side is mis-portrayed.  Fortunately, the excellent performances, food for thought plot, and dynamic pacing more than make up the difference on anything potentially offensive.  However, it should go without saying that The Wicker Man is not for kids, unless you want them to learn about fruits of the womb and phallic imagery in the movie classroom!  Despite those seventies naughty vibes, this isn’t dated one bit- though the lack of DVD subtitles, lost footage, and varying versions and film lengths can be bothersome.  The Wicker Man also isn’t really a harvest or autumntide picture either, thanks to its springtime festival subject matter. Add a whallop to your May Day and witness The Wicker Man.  

The Birds (1963)

The Birds One of Hitchcock’s Finest

By Kristin Battestella

My mother hates freaky birds, and to this day, I don’t think she has ever made it through Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 avian fright fest The Birds.  Tragic.

Troublemaking rich girl Melanie Daniels (Tippi Hedren) crosses paths with San Francisco lawyer Mitch Brenner (Rod Taylor) and plots to get back at him by following him to Bodega Bay for the weekend and leaving two lovebirds for his young sister Cathy’s (Veronica Cartwright) birthday.  While in Bodega Bay, strange bird attacks begin to occur, and Melanie stays with schoolteacher Annie Hawthorn (Suzanne Pleshette) - an ex-flame of Mitch’s.  More birds attack at Cathy’s birthday party, and Mitch and Melanie must come to the aide of Mitch’s widowed mother Lydia (Jessica Tandy) as birds of all feathers frightfully and fatally flock on the coast.

 

Alfred Hitchcock’s (Psycho, Notorious, Suspicion, must I go on?) direction is once again great, with a slow, country town brew of romantic tizzies, humor, suspense, animal disturbia, and more.  Based loosely on a tale from Daphne Du Maurier (Rebecca), the script by Evan Hunter (The Blackboard Jungle) may seem long or stilted by some today. However, the solid two hours and tight pacing from Hitch work seamlessly with all the classic freaky here. There are just so many layers of suggestions to investigate- familial innuendo, social stigmas, birds pecking away at our defenses and plucking out people’s eyes.  Are these the human eyes that can’t see these birds are angry and aren’t going to take it anymore?! What would indeed happen if birds decided to turn against us? The religion versus science hints, witch and evil harbinger debates- I love the diner scene where a boy eating chicken asks his mother if the birds are going to eat him. We would be pissed if the roles were reversed indeed! Whatever the social causes of or paranoid responses to the avian hysteria, the seed is smartly planted- and The Birds is still dang scary. It’s quite easy to think there is intelligent design or feathered revenge at hand, just as we could also think it’s all just some bizarre animal turn or random instinct.  Both possibilities remove our safe controlled answers and thrust the audience into the unknown- and there is nothing more frightening to us.  Instead of contemporary shock and awe and desensitization, The Birds is all about what we see but don’t believe, what we don’t see but know to be true, and what we hear that so scares us.

Wow, Tippi Hedren (Marnie) starts as a real socialite bitch! I couldn’t quite think of a word to describe her at first, but I see online that I’m not the only one who eventually settled on one name: Paris Hilton!  Fortunately, Melanie grows into a charming heroine in the face of this bizarre horror despite her typical blonde helpless babe looks. Hedren does look smashing in her fur coat and high heels- somehow being a woman of sass, smarts, and action without a hair out of place.  Although she does wear that same green suit for three days!  I don’t know that the up-close soft focus glow is really necessary from Hitch, but Tippi most certainly stands out among the crowd in The Birds.  Are these avian attacks Melanie’s fault? Is her ploy of lovebirds the cause? It’s certainly an easy place to point the accusing finger, and Suzanne Pleshette (The Bob Newhart Show) is the perfect dark-haired, pseudo femme opposite.  Annie is meant to be the good girl schoolteacher despite her sexy look- her brunette style certainly isn’t in Hitchcock’s favored ice queen vein. The mixing ideologies, however, work in Annie and Melanie’s relationship.  They become fast friends despite the romantic rivalry over Mitch and a frosty attitude from his mother.  Ha! Frenemies before there was such a thing, eh Paris? Speaking of Mitch, Rod Taylor (The Time Machine) is totally cool as a fun, swinging big city lawyer who ends up protecting his family against freak birds on the weekend.  It isn’t a role that one can take too lightly or overly serious, and Taylor finds the everyman balance.  Mitch is smart, charming, strong and there when you need him without being too sixties misogynistic- even if there is a strange mama’s boy angle going on. 

Oscar winner Jessica Tandy (Driving Miss Daisy) is simply lovely as Mitch’s mom Lydia, too.  Despite her jealousies and overbearing ways, the viewer instantly feels for the widow who can’t hold onto herself and her family with all this titular mayhem happening.  She’s lonely, sad, yet still strong, and again, it’s all a little weird the way Lydia looks to her son to symbolically replace her husband as head of the house.  Fortunately, little Veronica Cartwright (Alien) is so cute- not nearly as annoying as so many old school child stars often are. Cathy is realistic before the trauma and remains sincere while the hysteria happens.  Although I do wonder why these old films always have a college aged or even fully-grown child and then an elementary kid- did people really raise one child to entirety and then have another? Or is there an additional layer of Mitch and Melanie’s action parents relationship with Cathy for us to explore? Yes, a modern audience will notice some of these then latent suggestions or shout at the television, as some of the players’ actions are a little impractical in The Birds.  No one takes the offensive or gets some guns or weapons against the birds. While it’s totally iconic now, you couldn’t even find a phone booth to hide in today- not that one would choose a box made out of glass anyway. Hello, kamikaze birds on the run and no one ever gets away from the windows?  Nevertheless, we like the people in The Birds and get to know them for a little while, thus making it easier to believe their fears and irrationalities when the fantastic avians hit.

Despite its color filming, the dark and light values and cutting edge photography are used so smartly; The Birds almost seems black and white or devoid of palette in some scenes thanks to bleak interiors or flocking crows and sparrows.  Then of course, we get set up for unusual stills, zooms, and angles with pops of fresh red trickles. The sound alternatives are also dynamite. Sometimes the action plays almost as a silent film but for lingering vocals, singing, and squawking bird effects.  Naturally, some of the old school cheats are recognizable to wise contemporary audiences: matte paintings, split screens, innovative composite effects, live birds, fake birds, and every other trick possible.  However, we know The Birds is an old film, and even so, it still looks wonderfully freaky. Toss in that real bird scenery with all the twisted intelligent layers, and the smoke and mirrors trickery, and we still buy in to this definite sense of real world menace and animals gone awry. 

Sigh; there is just something about the production design and style of classic films.  Famed Oscar winner Edith Head’s (A Place in the Sun, Samson and Delilah) limited dressings for Hedren add color and a pop of sixties panache. Toss in cool cars- an Aston Martin no less- gas lamps, tea sets, suave updos, and the casual use of brandy for even more nostalgia.  Today, young actors forget there is a sense of grace and style in the way men used to handle their cigarettes or how the women twist the phone cords as they chat on those sultan type phones.  And using a pencil to dial on a rotary phone- wow, some youths might not even know what the means! The Birds is wonderfully of its time, and yet, there is nothing here so dated to distract new viewers. Everything still looks good, just made to look old perhaps. One might think this bird nightmare did in fact happen somewhere along some coastal inlet some 50 years ago.  The conclusion, I must say, may annoy some, but the infamous and eerie warning should be respected whether you like it or not.  Bird lovers may also have serious problems with The Birds thanks to their onscreen misuses and angry portrayals. That two story pet shop, however, is dang sweet, and the cute and humorous little lovebirds are just that adorable.

If you’ve somehow gone this long without seeing The Birds, this should be your next must see. Classic fans surely already know and love, as should any budding Hitchcock enthusiast.  Horror viewers, thriller audiences, and fans of the cast can also delight.  Earn your A in avian terror from Hitch with The Birds tonight.

A Zombie Analysis

A Zombie Analysis

By Kristin Battestella

As our horror marathons, viewing lists, and Halloween escapades continue to go on even into November, several series and sequels have been scattered across the critique cemeteries.  So, here’s a quick and easy breakdown of our zombie treats- along with a few new undead debates.

Day of the Dead – George A. Romero gives us a bleak look at science versus the military in this 1985 second sequel to Night of the Living Dead.  The cavernous underground but confined setting is great for intimate threats and limited places as Lori Cardille (Ryan’s Hope) and Joseph Pilato (Pulp Fiction) adversely cling to some semblance of civilization. Once again, it is the people behaving badly- not the zombies- that creates all the problems. This is a lovely study into what makes the undead how they are, if they are still human at all, or if they can or should be tamed. Who is the real animal here? Is the zombie invasion some sort of punishment or judgment against us or a humbling reason to restart humanity back on the right track? Despite great gore and fear, the pace may seem slow to some.  There isn’t a lot of humor here, which helped Day’s predecessor Dawn of the Dead, but we are watching the breakdown of society thanks to flesh eating monsters, remember. This is clearly a stressed, unhappy situation, and it makes for great horror film. 

Shaun of the Dead –I mentioned this 2004 ‘rom zom com’ previously in a quick recommends list, but I must discuss co-writer Simon Pegg (Star Trek) and director Edgar Wright’s (Spaced) fun take on zombies further.  Within this unique mixing of genres, time is allowed for us to know and enjoy our players with tongue firmly in cheek thanks to a bemusing yet tender and likeable cast including Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz), Billy Nighy (Underworld), Kate Ashfield (This Little Life), and Penelope Wilton (Downtown Abbey). Amid all the humor, there are also serious touches of life and relationships with great ironic uses of music, the media, and horror clichés.  After all, only a pulse separates our humdrum and routine lives from zombification. Really, there’s so much wastelessness going on in Shaun’s life that he doesn’t even initially notice the zombie apocalypse is going on!  Yes, it’s poking fun at traditional undead and romantic fair, but there’s also something quite smart here, with fine camerawork and editing to both mock, scare, and heighten the humor without resorting to sex, vulgarity, and torture porn like so many other modern pictures.  In jokes, car crash fun, video game delights, even decent blood and gore more than suffice amid the survival debates.  Wow, I guess my original one sentence praise did say it all: “Laughter and wit mixed with emotional characters and honest relationships in a zombie flick? Yes.”

White Zombie – Bela Lugosi (Dracula) is done up smashingly twisted as the witchdoctor causing undead trouble for Robert Frazer (The Three Musketeers) and Madge Bellamy (The Iron Horse) in this 70 minute 1932 treat. Though the costumes are thirties smashing, the sound and film is very poor- snap, crackle, pop and all that- making this tough to watch for some. Though it’s easy to think there’s something kinky afoot with some pre-code suggestions and innuendo and the music is quite good and suspenseful, the made on the cheap style is a bit too obvious. The acting is a little over the top, too, and the plot can be somewhat confusing if you don’t hear all the dialogue. The portrayal of Haiti and minorities is also a little stereotypical of the time as well. Nevertheless, this is a fun little piece showcasing the more traditional voodoo zombie angles of those buried alive and soullessly controlled rather than our brain eating slow pokes and humor.  Actually, I’m surprised the remake for this hasn’t gotten off the ground yet or that the idea of using zombies as manual labor isn’t used that often- particularly since zombies are currently trumping the glitter vampire wave and post-apocalyptic notions are quite hot right now.  It’s technically flawed, but zombie fans can learn a lot here.

It’s Getting Iffy

Return of the Living Dead Part II – This 1988 sequel from John Russo’s Night of the Living Dead spinoffs is played all for the laughs, so much so, that I’m not sure why its rated R.  Sure, there’s some kids using weapons against the undead and the usual violence, but compared to its precursor, the nudity, horror smarts and all out gore are lacking here.  The quips and zombies are fun, and the guts and gore we are given are good when we get it, but it doesn’t seem like enough. The straight comedy approach with only hints of military secrets and societal hysteria aren’t expanded enough to keep things interesting. A step down from first in this offshoot series, yes that would be fine- but this is almost a parody of the franchise at this point.  It is strangely funny that James Karen and Thom Matthews inexplicably return from the Return of the Living Dead, but the gag doesn’t last. I’d much rather writer and director Ken Wiederhorn (Shock Waves) been allowed to make a proper Part 2 instead of reducing it all to a dumb teen comedy remake.  Pity.

Now then, here’s our somewhat organized list of Zombie treats, conveniently in one place at last!

Dead and Living Dead series

Night of the Living Dead

Dawn of the Dead

Day of the Dead

Return of the Living Dead

Return of the Living Dead Part II

Night of the Living Dead (1990)

Evil Dead

The Evil Dead

Evil Dead II

Army of Darkness

Random Undead Juice

28 Days Later

28 Weeks Later

Blood Creek
King of the Zombies
Revolt of the Zombies 

Shaun of the Dead

White Zombie

 Zombie Land

Nightwatch (1997)

Nightwatch A Creepy and Twisted Little Gem

By Kristin Battestella

I don’t remember exactly how I stumbled upon the 1997 morgue fest Nightwatch.  It was probably late at night and I must have been alone, for it scared the crap out of me!

Law student Martin Bells (Ewan McGregor) is hired as the over night security guard at a morgue- much to his girlfriend Katherine’s (Patricia Arquette) chagrin. Martin’s best friend James (Josh Brolin), however, couldn’t be more amused, and he uses the freaky and morbid aspects of Martin’s job to cause trouble and tease young prostitutes when he’s supposed to be taking the next step with his girlfriend Marie (Lauren Graham).  Unfortunately, a series of sick and brutal killings lead Inspector Thomas Cray (Nick Nolte) and his deputy Bill Davis (John C. Reilly) to the morgue- and all their evidence points to Martin.

Morgues, serial killers, necrophilia- Director Ole Bornedal (I am Dina) has all kinds of juicy and freaky to toy with in this his own remake of 1994’s Nattevagten.  The atmosphere starts on the creepy early and keeps the suspense tight with dark scenery and chilling isolation. Even with some humor, fun naughty, and a touch of coming of age tossed into the spooky, there’s plenty of real world fear to match- marriage issues, fear of life after college, losing buddies over dames. It all helps to keep the characters believable even if some of the story’s cracks show.   Indeed, there are a few flaws in the plot and pacing- careful viewers might suspect or solve the criminal twists pretty quickly- and the scares really only work on the first virgin viewing.  Having said that, there are still plenty unique and morbid thrills, joys in spotting the clues, and jump in your seat delights here for repeat viewings.

Even as Obi Wan Kenobi in the three Star Wars prequels, it seems Ewan McGregor never plays the same character twice, and his effortless style makes it quite easy to get behind our naïve and unassured college hipster Martin. We’ve all been there- wanting to have fun while trying to also take life head on and being torn between wants and obligations.  McGregor balances the seriousness smartly with the fun and kinky- in large part also thanks to his onscreen pal, Josh Brolin. Brolin (No Country for Old Men) is quite a creep in Nightwatch, poking fun at the morgue, disrespecting the dead, and speculating on the nasty crimes taking place.  We want to like him, but he’s looking for thrills and excess in all the wrong places and taking Martin down with him.  It’s not an easy part to play, but we feel for him and thus put out the sympathy because Brolin keeps the honesty and torment real.  Nick Nolte (Affliction) is also juicy good fun as the slightly askew Inspector on the case, and John C. Reilly (Boogie Nights) is also a treat as his quirky deputy.

I haven’t really seen enough of either lady to make a true assessment, but I do know Patricia Arquette (Medium) is a little annoying as Martin’s girlfriend Katherine.  This is a horror movie, we need to have opposing chicks or damsels in distress- and that is largely the roles Arquette and Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls) play.  They are okay, I suppose, but the scenes without them are better.  Nightwatch is not meant to be a chick flick. In fact, due to the twisted nature of the crimes at hand, some aspects are even a little sexist- the use and abuse of prostitutes, feminine subservience, and marriages being anti freedom talk don’t help the ladies shine here.  Fortunately, Brad Dourif (Lord of the Rings) is always cool and fittingly freaky as a feisty nighttime mortician.

Thankfully, mood and atmosphere also add a wonderfully scary layer to the film. Yes, the ideas of solitary, dark morgues are bad enough, but Nightwatch looks scary, with lots of tricks, smoke and mirrors, creepy things in jars- all the little things that go a long way in establishing a real world, natural spooky.  The audience is prepped and tingly for violent action sequences, real scares, silly scares, sexy humor, and sex disturbia yet its all mere deceptions, only hints of sex and blood. Despite all the nasty matters at hand, we only actually see some brief nudity, pre and post naughty, or implied twistedness and gore.  The sick implications of what we think has happened gets us all psyched out- leaving Nightwatch in our minds long after the viewing.

Suffice to say, Nightwatch is not really for family audiences, and it may even gross out some hardened adults thanks to the necrophilia implications and other ill subject matter. Fans of the cast, however, can certainly enjoy, along with mystery or suspense lovers and subtle horror viewers alike. But of course, there are several varying DVD versions and director’s editions for completists to research, and purists may still prefer the original Danish production.  Thankfully, you can find some low price copies or rental options and get your freak on with Nightwatch any time of year.

Contemporary Horror Splits and Spotlights

Recent Horror Spotlights and Split Decisions

By Kristin Battestella

I spend most of my viewing time with older scares, horror classics, and cult favorites simply because there is so much of the same old slice and dice repetitive all gore and no substance drivel churned out in recent decades.  Yeah. Fortunately, I’ve found a few contemporary treats and thrillers to satisfy the yearn for modern macabre- and some spookies on which I can’t decide!

Deadtime Stories Volume 1 – George A. Romero (Night of the Living Dead) hosts this 2009 trilogy of tales in quite the quirky fashion.  His first story is a little ho hum- the typical tribal freaky and trying too hard to be too bizarre vein that any schooled horror anthology viewer will spot straightaway.  Fortunately, our second story provides a very creepy mermaid- not the pretty tailed, glistening golden tresses hiding a be-sea shelled rack siren, oh no. Some of the onscreen legend might be confusing, but the coastal and solitary suspense makes up the difference. Saving the best for last, Deadtime Number 3 is a great backwoods old school vampire scary. The abstract but period setting and tintype looking photography and colors make this one extra sweet. The dialogue and plot really had me going as to who was actually what- and it was downright spooky! 

Hannibal – This 2001 sequel to Silence of the Lambs obviously has big shoes to fill. Thankfully and blessedly, Giancarlo Giannini (Casino Royale) is great, and the Italian scenery is flat out awesome.  Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) is sleazy and so much fun while the twisted Gary Oldman (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) is unrecognizable.  Even in the shadow of prior Clarice Starling Oscar winner Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore (The Hours) shapes her own Clarice beautifully. And but of course returning Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins is wonderful. He is without a doubt the star here, and does the most in what seems like less screen time. The one on one dialogue and action sequences are perfect, with fine suspense pacing, intelligentsia horror, class, sexy, and gore.  Unfortunately, however great the performances are in getting there, the storyline does meander. Director Ridley Scott’s (Blade Runner) ending is somewhat flat and leaves a ‘What was the point of all this?’ feeling.  Nevertheless, I applaud the twisted romantic aspects and creepy for adults only production. Twilight wishes it could be like this.

Red Dragon- Naturally then, I must also talk about Anthony Hopkins’ sweet 2002 prequel, co-starring everybody from Oscar nominees Harvey Keitel (Bugsy) and Ralph Fiennes (The English Patient) to Oscar nominees Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) and Edward Norton (American History X).  Norton is believably badass and sympathetic as both as the on screen agent prior to Starling and the actor following both Clarices.  The murder mystery suspense and psychological games are alluring and complex. We’re going somewhere concrete with a case to solve and it all leads up nice and tidy to Lambs. Oh, did I forget to mention Oscar winner Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) and Emmy winner Mary-Louise Parker (Weeds).  Must I go on?

Unfortunately Undecided

Crush (2009) – Well, I’ve never seen a karate tournament in a horror movie before, and there’s really no room for it, lengthy credits, and too many establishing music montages in an 87 minute film.  We’re also crowded with a lot of clichés: the usual American in a foreign country scary house intrigue, a dark haired chick in a red bikini automatically meaning trouble, more Betty vs. Veronica stereotypes, and technology has to factor into the plot, too.  The cheap college drinking and sexy attempts don’t make up for lack of expected scares or unpretty people playing a flat Fatal Attraction, and the insignificant Australian touches simply look like anywhere that’s pretty.  But at least it’s Christopher Egan (Eragon) instead of a blonde chick protagonist, and I didn’t know there was such a thing as a house sitting agency!  Though it’s really great when we get them, the few and far between haunted house tricks take a long time to happen- leaving only 15 minutes left for the twists and true heavy will out fine for the ending. 

The Girl Next Door – I’m not really sure what to make of this 2007 tale based on Jack Ketchum’s novel.  The cast is fine along with the fifties touches and period nostalgia.  It’s also nice to see some frank and kinky talk in what we presume was such a Leave It to Beaver era- though it’s also weird that its kids and budding teens involved. Unfortunately, I don’t think this should be labeled as a horror film. Yes, horrific and very scary real life things happen here- twisted torture, and sick, verbal abuses. But the demented drama should be enough in telling the disturbed of the piece. When these real tortures and violent abuses are tossed into the same breath with our recent titillating torture porn, it cheapens and exploits the true story of Ketchum’s source.  Is Sleepers a horror film? No. So why is this? Call it a thriller or straight drama but saying this is horror, I find that somewhat demeaning.  Though I don’t think the direction here goes for the excess ala Hostel, I’m just not sure about the entire approach.

Immortality (2000) – This contemporary vampire drama stars Oscar nominee Jude Law (The Talented Mr. Ripley) as a swanky undead playboy and Timothy Spall (Harry Potter) as the investigator who follows his blood trail.  Of course, Law already has a pasty, enthralling, juicy way about him, so we’re not that surprised to see him as a vampire having his way with the chicks- and the seduction is suave for Law’s lady fans. However, the against type vampire bites and violent death scenes disturbingly remind us that vamps are not meant to be our baby daddy teen dreams. It’s nice to see Spall as a decent bloke instead of the usual slinky and seedy type, too.  Though the contorted and freaky physical performance from Law adds to the disturbed atmosphere, the technicalities of his vampirism are a little slow, ill paced, and confusing at times. The increasing focus on the weird romance angles over the fine police investigation and spiritual debates is also unfortunate. We’ve seen twisted vamp love and poetry too many times. I’d much rather see the rarer real world cop meets vampire action trump a love heals the vampire chemistry that isn’t happening. 

Mrs. Amworth – I am seriously surprised this 2007 beyond low budget vampire fair even made it to DVD.  There are no subtitles of course to help with the microphone-less dialogue, and it all looks really really really basement backyard home video filming.  I mean, Blair Witch was professionally shot compared to this! There’s blood and boobs a plenty, the acting isn’t even that bad for the most part, the story’s half-decent too. Even if the plot is nothing that new, the script isn’t all that hokey.  But this dang high school video production editing, bright lighting, and just way too down home photography is so unbelievable that it distracts from any attempt at scary.  Which is sad. This could have been a decent tale if it had a proper production.  The fashions are at least cool, and casual non-acting school banter helps a lot in the fun.  The music would be quite moody, scary, and atmospheric if the rest of the filmmaking was done right, too. Unfortunately, model Magenta Brooks is seriously too tall for all the men.  Is this meant to be bad, bemusing or awkward? Someone please let me know.

Christopher Lee Round Three!

This Time of Year, You Just Can’t Get Enough Christopher Lee. Period.

By Kristin Battestella

Well, I suppose the title says it all. With whom else can you share your scary, dark autumn nights?

The Devil's Bride – Frequent Hammer director Terrence Fisher (Dracula: Prince of Darkness) helms this elusive 1968 satanic fest in which Christopher Lee is the good guy. Whoa.  Let’s just take in that power of performance right there.  One of his personal film favorites, Lee ups the ante- using all his coy, charisma, and stature for the occult heroics and parental considerations here.  He looks damn classy, and Charles Gray (Diamonds Are Forever) is dynamite as well. Two Bond villains for the price of one- that has to be worth a look!  Leon Greene (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum) as Big C’s sidekick starts out as a little stereotypical chum chum disbelieving cheerio, but he takes up the cause wonderfully- though I don’t really understand why an English guy was dubbed for an English movie? The thirties via sixties style is also suave: sweet roadsters and English country car chases, cool suits, and great frocks all around.  Sigh, candlestick phones!  We have genuine frights, smart mystery, and fun cloak and dagger action along with great color and decent, scary effects.  If the eyes are the window to the soul indeed…shudder.  Though I’m not sure of the actual details, the rituals are realistic and the occult material is intelligently handled for a dang good time. Now if only the DVD- also titled The Devil Rides Out – wasn’t so damn tough to find!

Horror Hotel – This 1960 low budget scary also called The City of the Dead opens with a 1692 good and wicked burning at the stake and it only gets freakier from there.  Yes, it looks a little poor in quality, is too dark sometimes, and the hep cat guys are a dime a dozen.  The fog and flickering firelight, however, add heaps of disturbia, and we just know this sinister- er sleepy hamlet isn’t what it seems. Investigating ingénue Venetia Stevenson (Island of Lost Women) is a sunny and fun fish out of water we can get behind as she blindly plunges deeper into the Massachusetts bizarre.  Sir Christopher is of course smashing as a deathly serious but young and oh so suave professor who knows his witchcraft history too well. Even in the seemingly forgotten 80 minutes here, his contribution is essential, his performance quintessential.  Toss in a swanky score and you have all the brewing ingredients needed for future Amicus Productions’ horror gems. Who knew?

To the Devil a Daughter – Though it may look old, this 1976 satanic thriller boasts a great cast- including reluctant occult expert Richard Widmark (Cheyenne Autumn), juicy dame Honor Blackman (Goldfinger), unaware but not so young and innocent would be nun Nastassja Kinski (Cat People), and fearing for the err of his ways Denholm Elliot (Raiders of the Lost Ark).  Now then, let’s top all that off with a downright frightening Big C, too!  This one is very bizarre to start; the rituals are totally kinky, and the intentions are absolutely disturbing.  Lee’s Father Michael is even scarier than his Dracula- perhaps because he is a real soulless man of flesh with such a wicked, wicked agenda.  Yes, the ending is a little flat- resorting to abstract demon talk and psychedelic colors after all that great intelligence and paranoia.  But it’s damn good in getting there, and I’m not sure why there’s so little fanfare about this one.  I really liked it!

The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism– AKA Castle of the Walking Dead, Blood of the Virgins, and a hundred other dang titles- it’s tough to find much about this 1967 Lee murder fest co-starring Lex Barker (Tarzan) and Karin Dor (You Only Live Twice).  It’s a pity because whatever you call it, this one’s not bad at all.  Sure, it looks and sounds poor- again thanks to the lack of proper love and restoration- but the production values are actually pretty period piece good.  The costumes and décor are colorful, the locations authentic looking, the atmosphere scary, the dungeons dark and frightening.  Although I must say, the credited inspiration from The Pit and the Pendulum doesn’t come until quite late in the film, and some of the cutesy sixties music may seem out of place to audiences enjoying the spooky or mature camp.  Sir Christopher’s role is unfortunately small, but damn memorable and gruesomely well played.  While it can be found on several horror double bills in multiple languages and cuts, sadly, I’m not really sure what’s going on with all these cheapy video editions and versions here.  Bottom line; catch a viewing of this one anytime you can.

Hammer, More Than Just Horror

Hammer Horror Gems and More

By Kristin Battestella

While mostly known for its vast array of horror and mayhem movies, in its day, Hammer Films produced quite a good dose of vampires, adventure, and fantasy, too.  Here’s a quick helping of some of the Brit Studio’s fun and scares.

Countess Dracula – Ingrid Pitt (The House That Dripped Blood) and Leslie-Ann Down (North and South) lead a fun supporting cast in this 1971 Hammer juicy recounting the bloody derangement of Elisabeth Bathory.  The time and place is a little Hungarian unspecific, but the accents are real for once- as opposed to the usual tendency to over-Anglicize.  However, I am surprised Pitt was dubbed. It’s a very good voice job, but I can’t believe her own accent wasn’t good enough.  The costumes are also simply glorious, and candlelit interiors and period touches set the tone perfectly.  There’s great castle facades, stone workings and secret passageways, winding stairs, lovely ironwork, a sweet looking castle library, and plenty of boobs, blood, and kinky.  Whew! This must have been shocking at the time, but now the naughty is just right in adding twists and scares.  Director Peter Sasdy (Taste the Blood of Dracula) keeps things similar to other Hammer vamps but also finds something unique among those same old confoundedly resurrected and silent Draculas.  A few viewers might not like the non-all out horrorfest expected, but the historical elements and gothic feelings are bloody good fun.

The Mummy (1959) – Hammer perennials Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee team again for this well paced if somewhat familiar plot. Though he looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon in some scenes and is styled more like a Bond henchman doing the evil deeds of late Victorian villain George Pastell (also of The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb); Lee’s reanimated and mummified priest Kharis is dang menacing but no less tragic in his violence and lost love. His overbearing stature works wonders against the intelligent and suave archaeology gentleman Cushing- whether he’s in the dirty wraps or decked out in great Egyptian costumes, color, and brightness.  The sets, however, could use some work, as the exteriors are a bit, well, plastic looking instead of mighty stonework monolith.  Yvonne Furneaux (Repulsion) is also a lovely but slightly lightweight façade that’s a little out of place with Cushing’s take action and dueling wit.  Fortunately, the musical charms accent the Egyptian suspense and cap off the scares beautifully. Toss in some humor and great fun and this version equals total entertainment.

She (1965) – Ex-soldiers John Richardson (One Million Years B.C.) and Peter Cushing leave 1918 Palestine in search of the lost city of Kuma- ruled by the titular Ursula Andress (Dr. No) and her high priest Christopher Lee.  Meow! Though the pre-history adventure angles may seem as if Hammer is branching too far from its Horror bests, this one is a fun and entertaining desert romp. Perhaps Bernard Cribbins (Doctor Who) as Cushing’s batman is sometimes a little too Brit servant humor and some of the jokes might be lost on today’s younger viewers.  The speaking volume is also soft against the music and some of the tribal elements are stereotypical of both the sixties and the onscreen post- Great War attitudes. Otherwise, the sets are fun, the ladies juicy, and the action well paced.  What’s not to like?

The Vampire Lovers –Ingrid Pitt and Peter Cushing star in Hammer’s kinky 1970 adaptation of Carmilla, and this one all but has it all!  It doesn’t look dated one bit, is still very well paced, and keeps up the entertainment through out.  Very nice fog and castle moods, early 19^th century frocks and wispy nightgowns, sparkling candelabras and jewelry- it all sets the tone for plenty of blood, fangs, bites, and lots and lots of boobs.  The askew, black and white dreamlike photography and scary outdoor locations set off the definite lesbian juiciness, but fans of girl on girl vampire action and those of straight horror can both enjoy alike. The virginal Madeline Smith (Live and Let Die) ups the vampire prey, Kate O’Mara (Dynasty) is also darkly enchanting, and Pippa Steele (of the follow up Lust for a Vampire) is a real screamer!  Okay, the opening narration is a bit much and the music is kind of loud but really, no quibbles here. Now if only the two sequels were readily available stateside!

The Viking Queen –This 1967 ancient Britain yarn starring Don Murray (Bus Stop) and Patrick Troughton (Doctor Who) suffers a touch from its lack of notable Hammer stars- though priest Donald Houston (The 300 Spartans) is twisted fun. Fortunately, the scenery is also lovely, and all the chariots and gear are glorious. Even with the sweet costuming and colors, there’s a faded or grainy photography that makes the battle action –though small scale- quite authentic looking. We’re closer in plot to Boadicea than Vikings, yes, but there’s plenty of whipping and pillaging to make up the difference.  The star crossed Druid versus Roman love and war also comes across honestly, and the debate and action are well paced.  Some will find this bad and dried up, I’m sure, and perhaps this one could have been bigger and better, indeed.  For those who like a little sword and sandal action of old, we have an entertaining little piece from director Don Chaffey (Jason and the Argonauts) that feels more like an Ode to DeMille than the expected Hammer guts and glory.  Who knew?

Boris Karloff Bodaciousness!

Bow to Boris Karloff’s Greatness!

By Kristin Battestella

Forget today’s slice and dice horror!  Educate you and yours on the man who put the fear into early frightfest filmmaking: Karloff!

Black Sabbath –Our Man of the Hour hosts this 1963 AIP/Italian trilogy production also starring Mark Damon (House of Usher) and Michele Mercier (Angelique, the Marquise of the Angels). ‘A Drop of Water’ leads off the English version here with lovely period charm and freaky questions regarding fright, spiritualism, and the moments immediately before and after death. Seriously, one should never, ever steal from the dearly departed! The great mix of solitary scares, what you don’t see approaching, and the shocker smoke and mirrors effects seal the deal.  Hot damn, it got me! Plot two ‘The Telephone’ shines with the then contemporary sixties goodness and lots of suspense.  There’s a sexy anticipation, a voyeuristic vibe, and predatory fear adding to the juice. Karloff’s introduction sequences are a lot of fun, too- serious and latently psychedelic in style but humorous at the same time. In his final story, a Russian vampire tale called ‘The Wurdalak’, all the mood, culture, and creepy come across wonderfully.  The K’s makeup and approach is so angry and suspicious, even disturbing as familial angles come into play. Completists may go for the alternate Italian version for the full effect of director Mario Bava’s (Black Sunday) vision, but despite studio interference and changes that might upset purists; the scares are loud and clear here. 

Die, Monster, Die! – A totally cool, creepy, labyrinthine mansion and décor goes a long way in this 1965 H.P. Lovecraft adaptation.  All the macabre we expect is here plus creative wheelchair accessibilities and mad scientist laboratory dangers to help in Our Man Karloff’s looking slightly sinister but no less spiffy with that white mustache.  BK is a badass and strong but desperate patriarch both in spite of and thanks to that classic red velvet wheelchair accenting his performance.  Though Nick Adams (Rebel without a Cause) and Suzan Farmer (Dracula: Prince of Darkness) feel a little dime a dozen, Freda Jackson (The Brides of Dracula) is quite twisted I must say- along with some good shocker moments, great screams, and scary sounds, too. And the killer plants- we can’t forget those fun science fiction speculations! Even if some of the effects are weak for the finale, this is an entertaining little 75 minutes indeed.

Frankenstein – James Whale (The Invisible Man) provides great direction in this streamlined 1931 adaption. Yes, it differs from Mary Shelley’s book greatly, but the gist of the sympathy remains thanks to beautiful statements of good and evil, life and death, and God and consequences. Big K is wonderful as the simple and abused, meaning well but no less deadly monster creation of Colin Clive (Jane Eyre, Mad Love) - who’s also juicy and maniacal with these pre-code taboos.  Though some of the supporting scenes may seem stilted, Dwight Frye (Dracula) is always a delight to watch.  There are also nice camera tricks, smart photography cheats, and a great lack of music, too. Naturally, this is really because sound was so new at the time, but the onscreen mad lab sparks and angry mob shouts work perfectly as is. However, I do have to say, the period settings and ladies’ stylings of these early films are always weird.  Are we in the stuffy 19^th century with be-bobbed flapper chicks in stoles?  Fortunately, at only 70 minutes, the beloved fan or virgin viewer can easily find time for this one.  Go ahead and say it, “It’s alive!”

The Ghoul – Sometimes it’s a little tough to see in this 1933 Egyptology gone amok show thanks to such old film values; the photography is just too dark and the sound too poor in some spots. The supporting cast is also too thirties archetypes, and if you don’t like the humor of the chase at hand, all this thieving run around will get confusing. There also isn’t as much Karloff as I would like, but his scary resurrection and vengeful pursuits are a lot of fun for completist fans. The music here is also scary and suspenseful, adding a nice and creepy element to The K’s onscreen mayhem- and the plot doesn’t resort to the traditional mummy tales we expect either. No, this one isn’t perfect, but it’s worth the hour plus look if only for it’s previously lost history.  The CGI riff raff of today need a reminder that there are so many unpreserved shows, disappeared films, and great lost performances that we will never get to see! Sniff.

The Mask of Fu Manchu – Yes, this 1932 Orient adventure co-starring Myrna Loy (The Thin Man) is at best quite stereotypical and at worse downright offensive and demeaning in its Asian portrayals. Unfortunately, that is the very nature of this franchise, and the women here are mishandled as well.  However, once you are passed the ills, there’s plenty of fun and action here as Karloff dons the ‘stache for what is probably the most famous Fu Manchu production.  There’s preposterous torture, some naughty, and a lot of camp.  Not everyone will like this film, but K fans and fans of the serials will enjoy.

The Mummy – Karloff, Karloff, Karloff!  The drawn, crusty, and dry opening makeup and mummification designs looks dynamite- accenting OMK’s tall, imposing, sullen, and stilted presence. His silent up close shots are indeed hypnotic and powerful- even if modern audiences might find this one more fanciful fantasy than truly frightful.  Even though there is some tell, not shown off-screen action, the plot is well paced, with nice dialogue and support from Zita Johann (Tiger Shark) and Edward Van Sloan (Dracula).  Some of the 1932 style or mannerisms, foreign languages, and customs of the time might be strange to us now, but the mysteries and iconography of Ancient Egypt look delightful. An action packed pseudo silent styled flashback also works wonders. The CGI spoiled may of course find things here slow and dated compared to the 1999 The Mummy, but seeing a film done when Egyptology was arguably at its height allows a little more of all that onscreen glamour and gold to shine through.  Actually, I am usually completely against it, but I’d love to see this in color- at least once anyway. Sweetness!