Pip, Pip! More Royal
Documentaries
by
Kristin Battestella
It's
time for more bling, more princes, more princesses, and of course,
more scandals with these royal documentaries from across the pond.
Inside Asprey: Luxury by Royal Appointment – Jim Carter (Downton Abbey) narrates this 2017
inside look at Asprey – royal jewelers from Victoria to today's
exclusive clientele thanks to custom, handcrafted, and expensive
merchandise. $10,000 is a cheap sale to a store that sells one of a
kind yellow diamonds worth 2.4 million! Patrons include The Queen,
Prince Charles, Elton John, The Beckhams, and Samuel L. Jackson, one
of many stars who receive regular loans – or purchase one the
firm's bemusing items, such as a solid silver gorilla safe for
$55,000. Interviews with staff, tours of the workshop, going through
the store routine, and features on the jewels detail the order,
presentation, and history of the over two hundred year old business
as jewelers go about their silversmith craft upstairs while the
merchandising and PR work downstairs at this premium Bond Street
location. The $33,000 crocodile and diamond encrusted handbags are
sometimes tacky, but these are scarce items for those who can afford
to buy twelve of them – such as a Middle Eastern princess who comes
in after hours while the camera crew waits outside the private sales
room. Remember, if you have to ask the price, then you know you can't
afford it, yet the employees asked to put on $15,000 earrings so a
client can see how they look are able to laugh at themselves being so
casual over these outrageous prices. Of course, silversmithing isn't
as in demand as it used to be, and workshop reductions have come over
the decades alongside commissions lost, difficult building
maintenance, and increased luxury competition. Museum pieces, royal
warrants, show stopping sales campaigns, and charity events cater to
the international rich but despite the extreme pressures of making
such delicate gems, there's a certain pride once the craftsmen bring
their finished platinum necklaces to the shop floor. Although this is
surely some nice documentary advertising with a certain discretion
for clientele who wish to buy fully functioning $7,000 salt and
pepper shakers, it's also an interesting reveal of the luxury retail
inner workings with marketing missteps and honesty on Asprey's
salesmanship for those living the bling life.
Two
for New Anglophiles
Princes of the Palace
– Royal experts and biographers chronicle the British princes by
generation in this 2016 ninety minute special, beginning with no
nonsense Philip's titled but humble origins and Royal Navy stature
before sweeping the young Princess Elizabeth off her feet with World
war II valiantry. The royal wedding boosted austere post war England,
and despite taking a backseat always two steps behind his wife the
queen, it's been a solid sixty-five year marriage. This cantankerous
old sod who says exactly what's on his mind provides some brevity in
a highlight reel of questionable Philip anecdotes, but there was
difficulty between the rigid Philip and his sensitive boy Charles.
Raised by nannies with distant parents, the introspective Charles was
closer to the Queen Mother, hating boarding school and the toughen up
style but wanting to please his father – as seen in bittersweet
video of little sad and looking miserable Charles before later
interviews show him developing into a cheeky bachelor. Whoa that
seventies dance footage, Chuck! The interviewees speculate on the
royal lack of emotion hampering his inability to relate to Diana's
problems, but Charles' carefully orchestrated marriage to Diana
brought positive PR with a wife supporting the regal heir and a
problematic behind closed doors from her outshining him. Scandals,
adultery, and blame go around before later Camilla forgiveness,
however, it's more interesting to hear of Charles' progressive
pushing the envelope in his bridesmaid role as the waiting Prince of
Wales. The future kingly hopes on Prince William are revisited with
his baby clips and Diana's hands on rearing allowing him to
experience the normal side of life rather than The Firm's old
fashioned coldness. Between the saucy secrets making headlines and
putting on a brave face amid the grief, much time is spent on Diana
here – rolling Charles and William together with her rather than
mentioning Andrew or Edward at all. You wouldn't know there are more
princes in the House of Windsor thanks to the glowing Wills
heartthrob moments before talk of that impish wild child Harry
turning some of his infamous faux pas into military service and
charity work. It's disappointing that this is mostly all information
viewers already know wrapped in a supersized time together, but
fortunately, there are enough rare clips and highlights serving as a
quick introduction for younger audiences.
The Royals
– This 2013 series opens its six themed episodes with Wedding
allure from the then recent Cambridge nuptials before black and white
footage, newsreels, portraits, radio clips, and on location scenery
accent talk of Victoria's once radical bridal press coverage and war
rationed wedding success for Elizabeth and Philip. Voiceovers,
historians, and journalists wax on American versus British
perspectives on the monarchy with expected British pomp and tongue in
cheek on the opulent gowns, Charles needing a virgin bride, and the
mismatch of his fairy tale wedding to Diana as seen by 750 million
television audiences worldwide. Episode topics overlap with Edward
VIII's abdication and Wallis Simpson's marriage crisis and the
love/hate Charles and Camilla PR turnaround, and a chronological
focus rather than jumping back and forth could have made room for all
the marriages not mentioned. Episode Two's Funerary focus continues
the pageantry with the mixed emotions of the king is dead long live
the king, but perhaps understandably spends over half the forty-five
minute time on Diana's death and the global mourning that followed.
The interviewees get personal while addressing the monarchy's
missteps in the public versus private grief and need for a televised
response. However, the usual paparazzi and conspiracies are still
fairly recent and seem redundant compared to interesting details on
the royal flag, security code names, and funerary protocol changes in
such unprecedented circumstances. Serious documentary supposition is
also awkwardly tossed in with Elizabeth I's death ending the English
Tudor dynasty for the Stuart
British era
before the life long mourning etiquette and morbid Victorian era,
George VI's funeral, and the Queen Mother's longevity. Of course, the
Third Episode “Teens” big shocker is all poor William and rah rah
Harry. Brief time on royals once trained as military leaders,
Philip's stoic upbringing versus Diana's hand on approach, and
psychological analysis on a royal's media responsibility contrasting
the often emotionally distant castle rearing are pushed aside for
nothing new on The Heir and The Spare. Fan blogs are interviewed, OMG
Zara Phillips has her tongue pierced, and this is an unnecessary
episode with time that could have been better spent elsewhere. The
Scandals of Episode Four likewise do a disservice by spending more
time on Edward VIII's Nazi leanings and Margaret's marital troubles
before all the Charles and Diana divorce, rival interviews, books,
tampons, and tabloids we already know. It's also baffling that
somehow, neither The Yorks nor Princess Anne are never mentioned the
entire series! The first television footage of the Royal Family at
home is pleasing, but the George focus of Episode Five “Babies”
runs thin with more talk of growing up royal like we just had a few
shows ago. Perhaps these should have been half hour episodes going by
decade, for how long can they talk about Pets in Episode Six?
Ironically, the corgis, horses, Tudor pet portraits, swans, Tower of
London menagerie, Raven masters, heroic pigeons, and polo highlights
actually provide unique information – treating this whimsical topic
with more facts then the whole rest of the program. If you're looking
for balanced details on the entire House of Windsor or major British
Royal history, one won't find it here. The superficial and repetitive
aspects, too recent skew, and unorderly fashion will irritate more
knowledgeable royal enthusiasts. However, this can be a fun starter
for younger viewers new to following Lillibet and Co.
A
Dated Skip
Princesses of the World –
Naturally the ranks and succession for several of these princesses
turned queens and single gals now taken has changed since this 2009
recounting of the not always fairy tale lives of royal ladies. Black
and white wedding clips introduce Hollywood star turned Grace of
Monaco, our first celebrity princess before eventual tragedy and the
rare bling, marital strife, and star power of Soraya of Iran. These
quick moments lead to an odd time on Princess Margaret where it's
just Charles talking about his aunt – and people can follow her
melodrama on The
Crown now
anyway. The romance tallies of fellow bad girl Stephanie of Monaco
follow with her sister Caroline of Hanover before the requisite Diana
spotlight moves in a somewhat chronological order grouped by status
or rebelry. However, a lot of ladies are skipped in this fast paced
anecdotal style with unnecessary upbeat music and a narration trying
to sound sophisticated by pronouncing words in an extra unusual way.
Somehow, we're fast forwarding to the Australian advertising
executive cum Crown Princess Mary of Denmark – a perhaps under the
radar princess who doesn't have a sad ending who's therefore
superficially treated with fashion talk as if that's the most
important thing about her and Letizia now Queen of Spain. Nude
scandals and eating disorders segue into the odd inclusion of the
then child Aiko of Japan, again ignoring older princesses and the
rest of the Japanese Imperial ladies in this fast sixty seconds.
Current Queen Maxima is also only mentioned for her pre-Netherlands
family controversies, and the interesting leadership preparations and
military training interviews with Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden
are incredibly rushed in favor of backtracking to Beatrice and
Eugenie with a side of Fergie. This erroneous focus on minor British
Royals doesn't even include Anne or Alexandra, and despite their
photographs flashing in the awkward transition montages, Madeleine of
Sweden and Queen of the Belgians Mathilde are never featured. Several
other countries such as Norway are forgotten entirely with no rhyme
or reason as to who living, deceased, non-reigning, heir or spare is
included or not – even already ascended queens. A more factual by
country grouping with family tree graphics might have set off an
entire half hour biography series devoted to royal
women, allowing time for more than just the pretty or bittersweet
love lives defining the lady by her man. While a quick recap for
those who don't know much about royals, the glaring omissions simply
don't do what it says on the tin.
But
I must ask, where are all the documentaries not about the
British Royal Family?
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