by
Kristin Battestella
Yes,
I am superstitious about the number, and 666 Park Avenue probably
began with one foot in its 13 episode grave thanks to its polarizing
name. Though flawed with an unclear theme and a rushed rectification,
this 2012 limited run remains a frightfully fun marathon.
New
building managers Jane van Veen (Rachael
Taylor) and Henry Martin (Dave
Annabel) move into The Drake, a historic complex owned
by penthouse living Gavin Doran (Terry O'Quinn) and his wife Olivia
(Vanessa Williams). As Gavin uses his wealth and influence to advance
Henry's political ambitions, Jane renovates the building, finding
unusual secrets alongside fellow resident Nona (Samantha Logan).
Neighbors Brian (Robert Buckley) and his photographer wife Louise
(Mercedes Masohn) encounter the unexplained at The Drake themselves,
as does Louise's sultry assistant Alexis (Helena Mattsson). Ghostly
phenomena, suspicious residents, and past mysteries escalate as Jane
digs deeper into the building's history – and discovers her own
deadly secrets.
Although
666 Park Avenue is
loosely based upon a book, the series ironically shares several
similarities with the equally ill fated series The
Gates, which
aired two summers prior on ABC. Our new
tenants move into a luxury, too good to be true apartment building,
taking a working position in a community where their predecessor left
under unusual circumstances. The ridiculously short credits also
flash a lone title card before the listings scroll over the opening
action, making who's a regular or who's merely recurring tough to
deduce. Like The
Gates, 666 Park Avenue also
pads its short 42 minutes – or less – with unnecessary song
montages, and despite a classy billionaire interracial couple at the
top, diversity is lacking elsewhere. Does ABC keep repeating this
formula hoping to get it right? The numerous writers and directors
have no consistency for 666
Park Avenue, and
the characters are their roles rather than truly bloomed
personalities. The mismatched couples are unevenly developed and only
seen hurrying home or leaving late. Some are in on the spooky while
others are not, and most of the residents only interact for a hello
or goodbye in the surprisingly tiny lobby. The Drake seems more like
a hotel thanks to a weekly revolving door where regulars are left
hanging for other going nowhere spooky. People are being sucked into
the walls for goodness sake but 666
Park Avenue moves
away from its scary core for irrelevant corporate schemes, Madoff
name drops, and political double talk. Instead of sullying evil with
the same old prime time hitmen or political assassinations, maybe not
being so New York City steeped or having been period set may have let
the building intrigue shine. The wicked blackmail in the second half
of the series does better, but the ridiculous need to have an upscale
party literally every other episode gets old fast. Truly, no one
episode of 666
Park Avenue
is all super, the audience never receives the answers we really want,
and poor structuring muddles the quality paranormal pieces.
Fortunately,
666
Park Avenue is
more spooky than nighttime soap opera with an adult cast, mature
situations, desperate
pleas, eerie phone calls, and mysterious contracts due. Thunder,
spooky zooms, and ominous doors lead to residents with suspicious
blood on their hands, petty thefts, and one creepy laundry room. The
Pilot gets to the ghostly prospects early alongside deadly quid pro
quo requests and a nefarious Order of Dragon past. This first hour
feels like a decent haunted house movie, showcasing the eponymous
elevator mishaps, spooky stairwells, and murderous flashbacks.
Perhaps episode five “A Crowd of Demons” uses a Halloween party
excuse too soon – we don't know the players enough to see them
dressed up yet – but this is an atmospheric good time once the
ghosts break loose. After an uneven first half, “Downward Spiral”
begins to get to the bottom of The Drake only to have its reveals
delayed until Show Nine “Hypnos.” Stock crashes, evil men in
suits, sacrifices, and past rituals pepper the upscale where we least
expect it. Play up those literal trips down memory lane, the mental
hospital scares, bricked up fireplaces, and spooky books! “The
Comfort of Death” toys with ghosts in the mirror and long lived
curses while “Sins of the Fathers” adds priests and more 1927
living history coming back to rent an apartment. Reappearing pills
taunt an addict, a knightly organization battles The Drake's Order of
the Dragon – a lot of should have been there all along paranormal
is tossed in too late along with a halfhearted evil topper in the
“Lazarus” finale, and those dangerous bathtubs, past drownings,
and bricked up bodies make viewers wonder why 666
Park Avenue wastes
so much time on shopworn auxiliary in
its early episodes.
Where
the eponymous complex's supernatural
threats are quite interesting, our
would be heroic couple Rachael Taylor (Jessica
Jones) as Jane and Dave
Annabel (Brothers &
Sisters) as Henry are a
touch too
innocent, plain, and naive for 666
Park Avenue. They
don't seem like much of a pair, just New York ambitious with lots of
parties interfering while Jane's connection to the building – which
should have been immediately solidified – is strung along until
the seventh episode. There's generic architecture talk, but Jane
merely breaks a few things and knocks down some walls in her haunted
house reveals without finishing projects or following through on the
top to bottom explorations. Eventually, it seems like the idea of
Jane and Henry being building co-managers is dropped altogether, as
the totally unaware of the paranormal Henry doesn't seem to care
about Jane's pleas to move or her fear for her life until she goes
missing and ends up in an institution. Of course, Jane has no right
to complain about Henry's politics getting shady when she has been
keeping secrets about The Drake the entire time, and these plots that
should be powerful are erroneously intercut with weaker B and C
stories. William Sadler (Death
in
Bill
& Ted's Bogus Journey yes!)
is great as Jane's estranged father, however, his horror heavyweight
potential comes to 666
Park Avenue too
late. Likewise, Henry's spooky dreams don't happen until the finale,
as if the potluck writers simply forgot that Jane had the
supernatural visions. It's not the actors' faults, nor the dozens of
writers and directors who otherwise do fine work, but it seems like
there was no character bible for this duo, leaving the audience
anchorless to the very persons for whom we should cheer.
13th
floor penthouse power couple Terry O'Quinn (Lost)
and Vanessa Williams (Ugly
Berry) certainly
have the slick and suspicious afoot capabilities, but once again the
mixed motivations on 666
Park Avenue hamper
their scene chewing. At once, Olivia seems like a clueless fairy
godmother lavishing on the newbies. However, one too many times she
deus ex machina conveniently helps Gavin out of an evil jam before
being unaware again by the next episode. Gavin, of course, threatens
someone every hour to prove he is the top of the top, using
politicians to get rid of mysterious rivals or swiftly dealing with
dangerous minions. He knows all along about some secrets yet is
blindsided by other evil trickery. If he's so powerful, why is his
demonic brand such a slippery slope under constant threat? The rug is
cut out from under the viewer when his evil hierarchy, past Order of
the Dragon connections, and good versus evil religious aspects are
never fully explained. 666
Park Avenue
plays with pedestrian dirty politics too long, and I swear they
literally pull a Seven from Married...with
Children and
send the Dorans' pointless daughter down the stairs to never be heard
from again.
Sadly,
I'm not sure the yuppie marital discourse of Robert Buckley's (One
Tree Hill) struggling
playwright Brian and his wife Mercedes Masohn (Fear
the Walking Dead) as bitchy
photographer
Louise are necessary at all. Sure, they add bubble bath steamy and
voyeurism, but oddly, 666
Park Avenue remains
tame in the would be saucy affairs. Paranormal drug addictions and
fatal attraction with Helena Mattsson (Betrayal)
as Louise's assistant Alexis become completely uninvolved with the
aforementioned characters' storylines, and although the gambling
debts being tattooed onto Enrique Murciano (Without
a Trace)
as romantic Doctor Scott are a neat Karma twist, it never goes
anywhere. The paranormal stamp on Brian's writing is late in the game
to save the wishy washy between his women, and we don't know what's
really going on with Alexis and her debt until Episode Ten. Rather
than juggling too many superfluous paranormal residents and their
wannabe The
Devil's Advocate deals
with Gavin and compromising the series,
666
Park Avenue should
have combined these plots for just one strong younger couple, thus
earning a second year to introduce some deadly love triangles.
But
wait, there's more trite with the stereotypical magical negro psychic
and rebel teen Samantha Logan (Teen
Wolf) as Nona. Not only do
redundant ghosts also impart similar mysterious warnings, but Nona
doesn't always share what she knows, inexplicably leaving only the
audience aware of the clairvoyance. Of course, Nona also has a
magical negro grandmother in a wheelchair, and
Ghost Guinan
herself Whoopi Goldberg also makes an appearance as
some kind of Matrix Oracle
where, I hate to say it, she seems more like she's just talking on
The View.
Erik Palladino (ER)
as doorman Tony is also
treated as a subservient ethnic minority picked over for a higher
position but used as a thug or handyman and deliveries as needed. 666
Park Avenue also
has a black widow obsessed with youth, an obituary writer who changes
people's lives with her pen, and two detectives snooping about The
Drake. Well, one detective anyway – Teddy Sears (Masters
of Sex)
continues as another going nowhere side plot while his female black
partner is never shown again. Typical.
Thankfully,
symphony
moments and ironic classic tunes add upscale accents to the blackmail
and violence on 666
Park Avenue while
creepy
dream travels, phantom hallways, and hidden aspects of the building
slowly reveal some sinister. It's frustrating when something spooky
happens only to be cut away for an ominous commercial edit, but
distorted wide lenses and through the keyhole photography add a sense
of askew not found on your typical New York drama. The women's
over-arched eyebrows give them a perpetual wow face, people
researching their family history never bother to use ancestry.com,
and some special effects look mighty poor. However, folks being
sucked into the floor is pretty darn cool, and the 1920s styles make
up for the contemporary lookalikes and lacking attention to detail.
666
Park Avenue has
too many people, side
politics interfere with the paranormal goods, and it takes half the
thirteen episodes to really get going. The Drake's spooky promise is
never fully refined, and the episodic dragging once again proves that
network television needs to catch up with today's tightly paced shows
and no time to waste storytelling. 666
Park Avenue should
have been a taught 6 episodes rather than bloating itself with broad
filler. Ironically, while improving on The
Gates with
its more spooky adult drama, these same pitfalls that shuttered The
Gates condemns
666
Park Avenue.
It's
annoying when such creepy potential and likable actors don't get the
well thought out summer event series they deserve. Could
have, should have – 666 Park Avenue is
by no means great. Yet despite my negativity on the show's never
quite hitting the right notes, it was indeed entertaining to marathon
for the weekend, and 666 Park Avenue fits
well for viewers new to horror, budding paranormal teens, or those
looking for something upscale and spooky but light on fear.
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