by
Kristin Battestella
These
short series, documentaries, and films hailing from across the pond
were made recently, but carry a whiff of history and period piece air
nonetheless. While some are quality, bizarre, or cheesy and some are
frightfully bad and confusing – these bonus British flavors are at
the moment all on Hulu Plus and Amazon Video for stateside anglophiles. Yippee!
The Secret of Crickley Hall – Eerie reverse negative titles and
ominous music set the cold, isolated mood for this three hour 2006
miniseries based upon the titular novel, and past screams immediately
disturb present dreams – contrasting previous trauma with
contemporary family mornings, and sassy daughter Maisie Williams
(Game of Thrones). Despite great locales and a lovely manor
house mixing updated designs, old décor, creaking stairs, hiding
nooks, and divine woodwork, we know moving to a spooky home won't
overcome the playground abductions, guilt, and hysteria – even the
family dog knows what's afoot. Fortunately, the modern setting is not
intrusive, allowing for jump scares in the attic, basement warnings,
and potential family psychic connections amid Blitz orphanage
harshness, period fashions, stiff upper lip severe, and handyman
David Warner (Titanic) linking the two eras. This parallel
storytelling may be irksome to some, however the scenes are well
matched and balanced evenly. Neither feels as if one time is
intruding upon the other, and both plots are needed to tell the tale.
The editing is also shrewdly concurrent, almost as if past and
present coexist – eliminating the need for a research montage or
catch all flashback now that we see the history in real time. Mass
drownings, gravestones all with the same year, food is a reward not a
right in this school, and the viewer not only believes these times
are standing still enough to merge but we want the current residents
to reveal all. Is mom Suranne Jones (Coronation Street)
willing to risk her children at hand to find those lost? Does she
hear what she wants to believe? Marital disagreements and ghostly
interactions escalate as past papers are discovered, but the tone
remains self aware with wise youths, reluctant mediums, and a
parsonage looking the other way. While not super scary, the suspense
and good drama let the audience speculate on past nasty and root for
righteous schoolteacher Olivia Cooke (Bates Motel). Of course,
as usual, the scientific man is unconvinced despite encounters and
the wife with loss is a seemingly erroneous believer. Rival psychics
help or hinder the past darkness and shadows – sometimes visually
mirroring a near black and white patina. Suggestive water, phantom
canings, surprising deaths, and evil old ladies bring everything
together. Though some people and plot points are obvious, witnessing
this past still very much in the present has far more impact, and
some frightful retribution makes from a fine finish.
The Toy Box – Animated legends and Norfolk fairytales open this
2005 slasher with happy kids games and magical storytelling – until
a pet ends up in the blender...yeah. Colorful interiors, a quirky
house, and should be quaint locales set the scene for holiday family
gatherings, but creepy artwork is being sent in the mail – er post
– and unnecessary, shaky cam zooms interfere with the bizarre
parents, crazy granny, too close siblings, and taut tension at the
table. Choppy editing keeps restarting the story with little
explanation on who is who, and numerous scenes fade out without
really ending or serving any purpose. This film reeks of an
incomplete fly by night production disguised as weird trying to be
avante garde – enough with the ritual echos, unexplained
nonsensical, and juvenile cartoons. Though shrewd, affordable, and in
keeping with the child fantasy aspects; the animated recountings of
local myths also feel like the cheapest way to show rather than tell.
This animation and the disjointed childhood flashbacks delay the
story at hand when websites, books, and intriguing characters telling
tales about the fire is information enough. Along with distorted
dreams and just the right amount of gore, mysterious amulets,
candlelight dinners, smoky mirror reflections, snow, and meat hooks
build mood over the eighty minutes. Yes, too many confusing things
are happening and much of this will be too out there or just plain
dumb for some audiences. It's tough to forgive the low budget
mistakes and struggling production shortchange dominating over all
the good potential, violence, and horrors, too. Fortunately, there
are enough frights in the final act for viewers to hang in there for
the twisted enjoyment of seeing folks get what they deserve.
Maybe
Try...
Bedlam
– Spooky visuals, text message warnings, and phantom GPS directions
are just the beginning for this 2011 six episode debut brimming with
old fashioned writing on the mirror and ghosts in the machine – all
at the titular asylum cum luxury apartments, of course. The credits
are creepy, however the in your face music and trying to be saucy
indicates the soap opera oriented roommate make outs, emo meets
yuppie players, and bad twentysomething chic styles. The who and why
fors aren't immediately established – institution history,
adoptions, and three hundred year old family secrets wait thanks to
easy ghost of the week clichés. The adulterous Bitch, Black Best
Friend, and Bi-curious labels also stereotypically define the
characters by their relationships rather than the individuals they
are, and Chiseled Cheekbone Psychic White Guy Theo James (Divergent)
feels been there done that. His ghostly vision jolts are pretty
humorous yet his hotness flusters all, and everyone must behave
stupidly for the horrors to happen – like pulling on the locked
doorknob to escape when the top half of the door is a window. If our
star can see one's death by touch then why do we need person of the
week coincidences? Some special effects are for the viewer's sake as
well, erroneously calling attention to the medium instead of building
atmospheric immersion when other minimal ghost visuals and distorted
camerawork are enough. Dreams, dark car parks, eerie red lighting,
and ghoulish green ghosts certainly make it difficult for Hugo Speer
(The Full Monty) to keep his family building business in the
black. Phenomena on the security cameras, vehicular horrors, creepy
construction, research history, and period flashes are much more
interesting than any hip drama, too. A crazy conspiracy lady, who
knows what revelations, spiritual interventions for good or ill, and
colonial bad karma are all much better shady alongside little girl
ghosts, dangerous turrets, and dead bodies. It's tough to watch these
forty plus minute episodes individually and a fast marathon is
better, however the latter half is more focused on the spooky rather
than sexy with hidden room horrors, tarot cards, and evidence burned
leading to a multi level finale topper.
But
Skip...
Bedlam Series 2 –
Although you kind of have to see what happens next, I wasn't going to
continue this Second six episode season thanks to too many meh
characters in Year One. Although the total cast revamp makes this
seem like an entirely different show, unfortunately,
the reset only makes things worse with more making out yuppie
flatmates and the replacement of one scheming a-hole manager for
another ruining the refreshingly diverse casting. Let's test
prospective clients by fact checking them on trips to Thailand
because we all hop, skip, jump, and vacay when we can't pay the rent,
yeah! New EMT who sees the dead Lacey Turner (EastEnders) is
in search of answers from last season, however her constant screaming
and crying gets old very fast. Hugo Speer has good paranormal
encounters but still looks the other way at deadly history – and
rebounds by fetishing with his daughter's Asian BFF. Ominous
construction, creepy pictures, and blurred imagery add to the phantom
toys, and recurring ghosts, but the hip bar, pool, and gym don't make
us care about the weekly resident drama. A dead bride covered with
blood surely wants more than calling off a modern wedding – too
many easy solutions or dismissals give no spiritual restitution.
Heck, the series Wikipedia page has more detail than what's onscreen,
and candelabras or abandoned chapels don't hide the padded run time.
Despite dun dun dun familial twists – which brings out pathetic
racist reactions from the all these jerks – and abortion
bombshells, ten minutes of a possessed Autistic boy chanting in Latin
is more interesting than all the ham-fisted here, which I barely
finished watching.
You
Make the Call...
Great British Ghosts – This 2011 documentary series isn't herky
jerky, boo, what's that, paranormal investigators in your face –
which audiences so, so tired of that faux reality trend will prefer.
Unfortunately, I can't tell if this presentation is meant to be taken
as serious or comical, and I am leaning more towards thinking these
Brits are taking the piss, as they say, with viewers. The infrequent
male narrator comes and goes willy nilly, but he says me, we, and I
while the woman hosting the series goes to the places and does the
actions he describes. Such an error wouldn't matter if the creepy was
getting while the creepy's good, however, the paranormal stories
themselves are poorly presented almost as an afterthought. Our
omnipresent man and female guide go to an establishment and chat with
someone marginally credible who awkwardly shares how one time they
felt something. Maybe they didn't see anything, but they knew it was
there! Once, another employee/guest/relative thought they heard
something, got scared, won't come back, and Bob's your uncle this
place is haunted. Rather than sharing specific histories of grizzly
events that would lead to such eponymous activity, the entire show is
all just a lot of hearsay. Again, some audiences may enjoy this kind
of casual, hand-held, and rural experience rather than a windblown
talking head historian, but the meandering segments feel overlong
anyway at only twenty-two minutes. Honestly, I didn't finish all
twenty episodes and just wanted to put it on mute. While some accents
will be tougher than others are, it wasn't the all over the place
dictation that was so bothersome – I just wanted to look at all the
pretty places in peace. The superb locales, medieval architecture,
and historic scenery we don't have stateside are the only things
really working here. Had this presentation been styled as America's
Castles with spooky voiceovers
anchoring a video tour of ye olde haunted, well then, yes please!
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