Coastal
Horrors and Watery Fears!
By
Kristin Battestella
These
retro and recent seaside haunts, coastal killers, and watery frights
are anything but scenic or picturesque for these dames, youths,
coeds, and couples.
Bay Cove – Pamela Sue
Martin (Dynasty) Tim
Matheson (The West
Wing),
Woody Harrelson (Cheers),
Jeff Conway (Grease),
Barbara Billingsly (Leave
it to Beaver),
and more familiar retro faces star in this 1987 television movie
going by several titles. Full moons, chanting, cemeteries, churches,
candles, confessions, and lightning immediately invoke an evil,
medieval mood contrasting the eighties women's business suits,
shoulder pads, and complaining yuppies. All the denim, mod decor,
jazz, and black satin slips go for a dated, trying to sexy mood, but
that's quickly left behind after our couple hears about a chance to
invest their construction business in a nearby island fixer upper –
moving from the big city and starting a family unfortunately blinds
them from that suspicious bargain price! Eighteenth century history,
hidden rosaries, creepy old books, dogs versus cats, and a locked
basement accent the increasing strange old landlady, odd neighbors,
generational residents, and mysterious figures in the window. Despite
pretty greens, beach-side birds chirping, and smooth ferries; all
black clothes, spooky quilts, torches, and an escalating colonial
tone build to tales of burning at the stake and an abandoned puritan
past. Fishy headstone dates, pentagrams under the general store, and
missing pets divide husband and wife alongside work and home
conflicts, mistrustful realtors, and explosive jeep accidents that
look quite good even with a then television low budget. Phantom ye
olde dressed kids, melodramatic slow motions screams, and up close
soft focusing are however, a bit much, and the credits rush over a
somewhat corny finale. While the gaslighting, sacrifices, and
midnight deadlines proceed as expected with twists that won't
surprise most horror viewers, the crazy dreams, stormy nights, and
hooded robes remain entertaining thanks to the likable cast and
ghastly atmosphere.
Neverlake
–
The modern amid old stone buildings, winding rural roads, and crisp
hint of snow quickly turn to morbid Shelly poems, floating bodies,
and dead trees for a teen on a Tuscan visit to her doctor father in
this 2012 Italian production. While creepy kid shocks, hitting over
the head Peter Pan motifs, juvenile fantastics, and redundant
narrations seem pedestrian; the family dynamics, would be step
mother, suspicious research, and locked doors accent the Etruscan
studies, fragile statues, and ancient artifacts. Whispers on the lost
healing powers of the Lake of Idols and exploring alone in the woods
become foreboding thanks to sickly green water and nighttime warnings
– not to mention the severe looking nearby hospitals, escalating
injuries, and sudden operations. Although eerie dreams may be an
excuse for visual horrors or shock music and “Ominous Ambiance”
closed captions are bemusing, subtle ghostly sounds, natural winds,
and watery phantoms work alongside talk of life giving rituals and
fine Arezzo locations. Freaky dolls, minimal technology, cemetery
visits, and ticking clock experiments add to the rogue archaeology,
stolen relics, hidden rooms, serious reveals, and family twists. At
times, however, the plot stalls, skipping over explanations and more
interesting Etruscan ties while going overboard on other parallels –
voiceovers feel tacked on as do the obviously sinister mechanics,
obligatory child horrors, and mystical attempts. The need to return
the effigies, household frights, and medical surprises are intriguing
enough without the misleading video cover and slasher label. While
easy to solve for wise horror viewers, this pace feels meant for a
younger audience and doesn't resort to overly trite Hollywood
techniques. Though flawed, this directorial debut isn't bad and can
be a nice little spooky ghost story for teen viewers looking for a
unique scare.
The Prowler – Cape May
filming locations accent this 1981 slasher alongside classic star
Farley Granger (Strangers on
a Train), black and white
World War II newsreels, big band music, and swanky cars.
Unfortunately, Dear John letters turn Avalon Bay's 1945 graduation
dance into unexpected horror thanks to the titular mask wearing
killer, battlefield get ups, pitchforks, and plenty of blood. While
the 1980 switch brings a new dance with short shorts, bad flirting
deputies, and feathered hair, the murderer is back on the loose
attacking the disposable babes – good girl, slut, wallflower,
frienemy. Despite dainty, braless frills and steamy shower boobs,
some scenes here are laughable with a dated and not exactly stellar
cast. The music isn't bad, but the dancing is pathetic, plot holes
and disappearing characters come and go, the deputy just looks around
rather than radioing for help, and a few stupid people don't know
they are in a horror movie. Fortunately, the killer personality is
unique, and interesting camera perspectives or the generally unseen
beyond the retro get up filming accent very good effects from gore
master Tom Savini (Dawn of
the Dead) such
as through the skull knives and poolside assaults with nasty yet
realistic splatter. There are some false jump moments, but the
tension raises and lowers organically without the need for amped up
boos or crescendos. A creepy old man in a wheelchair, dark Victorian
homes, cramped rooms, and covered furniture add to the chases, clues,
desecrated graves, and fireplace shocks. The suspenseful stalking and
shadowed silhouettes invoke more menace as the viewers guess who's
next. Though perhaps obvious at times with a slightly limp ending,
unexpected turns and gunshot toppers compliment the early slasher
staples at work – wise audiences can see the influence on Scream
and other spoofs. Lone settings and individual isolation do better
than large scale terrors here, making for some entertaining,
shout at the television viewing. He has a pitchfork, honey, a chain
on the door isn't going to help!
You
Make the Call!
Lake Eerie – A widow moves
to a too good to be true lakeside house in this 2016 ghost and genre
bender. The white chic and bright windows should be quaint, but
creepy furniture, old pictures, phonographs, and 1969 décor draft an
increasingly spooky atmosphere. Old archaeology, retro phones, and
voices on the radio add more bizarre while no cell reception, power
outages, and doors opening or closing by themselves escalate the
tension. Ghostly winds blowing out the candles and phantom figures in
the hallway make not knowing where everything is and searching for
the matches or kitchen knife heavy – simple but effective fears
amid sandy footprints in the house, locked drawers, and undiscovered
museum relics. Concerned dad Lance Henriksen (Pumpkinhead)
is only in a few scenes, but quirky neighbor Betsy Baker (The
Evil Dead) knows a bit too
much about the forty year vacancy, experiments, ancient amulets, and
Egyptian mysticism. Attic searches and nightly visions create twists,
and the inter-dimensional fantastic isn't all it seems. Exposition
told rather than seen, however, becomes suspect mumbo jumbo – the
fantastical technicalities, time limits, and mystic jewelry get a
little too preposterous. The dark underworld finale is silly, tossing
in a nonsensical maze that unravels all the spooky happenings that
were doing just fine. Rocking camera pans, loud music, and ghostly
POV strobes are unnecessary annoyances. Poorly delivered voiceovers
contribute to the amateur acting, and rather than help hide the weak
performances, the directing and editing calls attention to them. This
family production certainly isn't perfect and ends up falling apart
as it goes on – it's obvious from the start but might have enough
intrigue and fun bemusement if you can take this ghost cum mystical
story twist for what it is.
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