Friday
the 13th:
The Series Loses Steam in Season 3
by Kristin Battestella
The
1989-90 final twenty episode leg of Friday
the 13th:
The Series sputters
as Micki Foster (Louise Robey) and Jack Marshak (Chris Wiggins)
continue to retrieve cursed objects sold from the Curious Goods shop.
Ryan Dallion (John D. LeMay), however, can no longer confront the
evils they face, and Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque) doesn't fully
comprehend the magical wrong doings of their terrible quarry.
Crosses,
Madonna statues, religious paintings, and church festivals create Old
World feeling in “The Prophecies Parts 1 and 2” as Jack is off to
France claiming he's researching spiritual phenomena – which isn't
that far from the truth. Creepy long nails, sharp teeth, evil eyes,
and demonic voices accent 3:33 a.m. bells, prayers, and eponymous
readings as priests cross themselves against possession, hell hounds,
and evil tomes. If Lucifer can do his work in a holy place, what hope
is there for the rest of us? Family reunions are bittersweet between
miraculous visions, foretold fallen angels, and whispers of demons
wanting a soul. Frightful falls, a pilgrimage blasphemed, scripture
versus scripture – is the faith of a child enough to trap this evil
in the protected Curious Goods vault? Though the good gone bad themes
feel rushed in the second part, fiery thunderstorms and disturbing
violence set off the big terrors for this opening twist. Upsetting
injuries, gang violence, and shocking car accidents continue in
“Crippled Inside.” It's difficult to cope with the wheelchair
bound result – until an antique pushchair provides some healing
astral projection and gory doppelganger payback. What's a little acid
or a short walk off a tall building among rapists? This dilemma on an
cursed quarry's justified usage happens almost without the regular
trio, establishing a pattern this season where our collectors are
excused away or stumble onto the curio after an otherwise anthology
style tale. Gross boils and a bloody hearing aid worming its way
deeper anchor “Stick It In Your Ear” alongside magic tricks,
blindfolds, guessing game schemes, and the ability to hear people's
thoughts. Camera revelations, scary editing, and vivid sounds make
the audience fear this evil little amplifier! Had Friday the 13th
continued, it would have been neat to see one elusive object
reappear each season, and the standout “Bad Penny” revisits the
ominous coin from Season Two's “Tails I Live, Heads You Die.” The
piece is found in the rubble with a skeleton or two alongside cops in
the back alley, informant prostitutes, laundered briefcases, and
shootouts. Jack and Micki are understandably upset to battle this
piece again, and tender moments come between mistakes, conflicts,
trauma, and car chases as a cop raises the wrong ghoulish person from
the dead with dark magic he doesn't understand.
Whoopsie,
a car radio is sold from Curious Goods without checking if it is on
the evil manifest while vintage automobiles, confederate flags, and
redneck racism set the tone for “Hate On Your Dial.” Our villains
were already nasty before the sale, using derogatory terms and
shooting at children for funsies, and such murderous blood on the
dashboard is a time travel catalyst for a black and white Mississippi
trip. Again the social statements are mostly developed without the
series stars, and the fictitious fears wrapped in real world horror
is somewhat uneven thanks to the back and forth editing between the
color present and the black and white past. The appalling racism
issues, however, are both dated yet still relevantly disturbing. The
eighties may have been thirty-five years from this past depiction,
but we aren't much better in the near thirty years since. More silver
screen clips and vintage film reels provide a fallen Old Hollywood
glitz in “Femme Fatale” as an aging actress's screenwriter
husband tosses young starlets into his cursed print. How many pretty
face fatalities will it take for his wife's young onscreen self to
permanently exit the frame? The eighties does forties mood goes all
out with film within a film classic movie retrospectives on lost
youth and escapist ingenues willing to do anything to be in
pictures.
Samurai swords and family honor bring the 1945 Tokyo start of “Year
of the Monkey” full circle with sensei instruction, a poisonous tea
set, and our trio on the trail of some creepy little see no evil,
hear no evil, speak no evil monkey statues.
As is often the case, the Japanese motifs are slightly cliché exotic
with calligraphy, rice paper screens, and guest Tia Carrere (Wayne's
World). Fortunately,
the generational lessons
and revenge mysticism prove themselves with each statue testing the
telepathy, teleportation, and ritual suicide for a promised
immortality. Satin lined coffins, somber organs, and Polaroids for
the company scrapbook open “Epitaph For a Lonely Soul” between
fluids, tubes, classical music, and some sherry while working on the
gory wounds and ghoulish purple tissues. Vintage embalming equipment
can reanimate bodies, and the candles, grave digging, and undressed
corpses suggest a twisted desecration. Memories, decomposition, and
the trauma of life renewed hold the undead pretty captive – and
Micki may be next for our lonely mortician.
Perilous
kids and dogs are quite graphic with very little for “Repetition”
and the missing posters, confessionals, and hidden bodies add to the
immediate guilt and personal dilemmas caused by a life trapping cameo
necklace. Ghostly echoes and desperate kills repeat this swapping
cycle as drinking and homeless shelters crisscross over dead mothers
and fatal trades. Ironically, Micki isn't even pursuing the locket
and Curious Goods merely bookends the hour. Despite a reversed
episode listing order, The
Complete TV Series DVD Set has “Spirit of Television” next complete with
swanky parties, thunderstorms, seances, and a madame calling on the
deceased through a suspect vintage television. Unfortunately, the
seemingly happy chats with the departed are followed by upset ghosts,
and the subsequent blown up boob tubes and electrocutions in the
bathtub renew our madame's youth. The fantastic conduit, static white
noise, and spooky nostalgia accent the psychic fraud as the team must
both debunk and retrieve the cursed set – doing what Friday
the 13th
should
with this supernatural late season redeemer. Likewise, the poolside
bullies and strong arming of “Jack-in-the-Box”
lead to floating bodies and one of Micki's friends among the
deceased. The surviving daughter acts out and rightfully slams the
adults responsible. However, the titular toy turns her innocence and
grief into vengeance. Drowning in alcoholism parallels set off the
ghostly visits and fatal vignettes, but our curio trio can't endorse
this creative revenge no matter how justified. Ancient Gaelic
languages, candles, charms, and oak trees open the 1984 prologue for
“The Tree of Life,” but when a husband objects to this so-called
mumbo jumbo as part of the prenatal regime, these druids cum nurses
keep the baby. A present pregnant couple shopping for dolls at
Curious Goods is also scheduled at this rigid clinic, and our
collectors involve themselves in this sisterhood of spells and
solstice sacrifices. Too bad Last Season's white versus dark coven
rivalries weren't tied in among the disagreeing team and women versus
women cult extremes.
A shady professor also tells his female students to get in touch with
their dark side in the series finale “The
Charnel Pit,” and the blindfolded nightcaps lead to a two-sided,
time traveling painting said to be done by the Marquis de Sade in
blood. Torture, shackles, and a little loving pain leave Micki
trapped in the eighteenth century disguised as a duchess and writing
of her alluring predicament with Mr. MdS. The boys, meanwhile, must
figure out which of the painting's victims are from the past by
looking for a lack of dental work. Fancy dressings add to the courtly
facade, dungeon gallery, and willfully sinister charm, for after all,
one learns a person's true colors with a whip. Fortunately, there's
just enough room for one more cursed antique in the vault.
Friday
the 13th's previous
two seasons certainly had some duds, and there aren't as many super
bad clunkers in this shortened year. Most of these episodes are okay
or decent, but no one really puts everything totally together to zing
like the memorable years prior. Dated surveillance equipment and
Aliens
wannabe
trackers in “Demon Hunter” are hammy
early with
hokey
moonlight silhouettes and more Predator
commando
knockoffs. Power
outages at Curious Goods, a museum returning a sacrificial dagger,
and further dark secrets hidden beneath the vault that could have
been explored more are shoehorned in like an A/B plot behind the
laughable family vengeance meets monster puppet, and R.G. Armstrong's
annual Uncle Lewis appearance is sorely missed this year. The series
also randomly plays with inconsistent time travel and flashback
aspects with one episode's flashbacks in black and white but another
time travel hour in color. Rather than previous innovative technical
attempts, the style doesn't seem to matter. We also never spend
enough time at Curious Goods, and “Midnight Riders” has our team
star gazing while teens necking in a nearby car are accosted by a try
hard phantom gang and local Sleepy Hollow biker legends. A ghoulish
headless biker reattachment can't save this one – oh, and Jack's
mysterious sea captain dad not seen in ten years is somehow in this
backwoods on top of those annoying teens who, it turns out, are
siblings! o_O A late night swimming pool in “The Long Road Home”
is also an excuse for a juicy underwater lip lock between Micki and
Johnny amid storm warnings, terrible flirting, and a tacked on yin
yang charm with body transferring properties. Highway diners, cliché
taxidermy, and country killers can be found elsewhere in horror, and
Friday
the 13th
strays
from its virtue once the protagonists use the evil object and its
hammy
body swaps when it suits them. The trio is actually more present and
capable than usual in deducing the preposterous selfishness in “My
Wife as a Dog” when a miraculous leash helps a whiny fireman make
his ailing dog and soon to be ex-wife one and the same. Curious Goods
being cited for not being up to fire code is the better story, and
this is an unlikable, perverse little episode with major mixed
messages on making your woman a bitch and moving your dog into the
bedroom. Again, O_o
Our
Micki may get groceries or stay at home and research, however she
also continues on a case without Jack or Ryan and it is dumb to have
her repeatedly call Johnny for unnecessary help when we've seen her
face plenty of evil on her own. It's also surprising she would let a
man follow and attack her just to get an object – as if, not that
it is her only plan, but rather just the best the writers could do.
Micki is either the lovely victim or referred to as minding the store
and doesn't always have very much to do either way. “Bad Penny”
has Jack give the past exposition rather than show Micki speaking
about the experience herself, although she's right to be afraid of
dying in this fight against evil. The trio is also closer to the
terror and within the investigation sooner for “Mightier Than the
Sword” thanks to execution protests, pardons, and a pen that lets
the author write what the guilty party will do while he gets the
subsequent crime writer exclusives and literary glory. Jokes about
word processors versus the good old pen and paper write themselves
amid nom de plumes and slashers who don't remember their fatal deeds.
Unfortunately, Micki struggles to resist the scripted urge and uses a
discreet straight razor to scratch her new murderous itch. She's
briefly smitten by a vampire again, trapped in a gangster movie, and
sucked into a hellish painting for some 1790 saucy, too. There are
consequences and nightmares as a result, but it's understandable to
see Micki snap – wouldn't we all? Despite a brief Roxette mohawk
meets I
Love Lucy updo,
one of those fake ponytail braids a la Madonna, and some lovely
baroque feathers and period frocks; most of the time Micki's style is
maturely toned down with more nineties turtlenecks and business
blazers. By the end of the season, she is once again independently
strong, breaking in places and confronting people rather than letting
these evils continue.
Once again, Jack's continental battles
have one wondering what Friday the 13th
would have been like with him
alone on the evil relic hunt. We don't even get to see it when
he's said to be off recovering the Shard of Medusa from Year Two! The
devil punishes him for all his good works, but Jack officially
becomes part owner of Curious Goods on paper nonetheless. He's the
reluctant treasurer of the Antiques Association, too, but doesn't
like having its swanky party at the store when the other snobby
dealers belittle his occult focus. Jack takes the lead in most cases,
researching all aspects and utilizing his magic act connections or
Druid knowledge. He also looks more nineties suave in more suit
styles rather than his somewhat quirky trench coat and hat. Jack's
there for Micki as a fatherly shoulder, telling her to not let evil
defeat her and even getting harsh with her when he has to be. He
brings Micki food when she's on a stakeout, too – even if that's
more about delivering some exposition. Jack waxes on good, evil, the
gray between, and how their job never seems to get any easier in
“Night Prey” thanks back alley bites, impromptu stakings, and one
killer crucifix. Granted, some strobe effects are hokey, however
those vampires floating outside the church's stained class windows
are eerily effective. If the show insisted on branching out from the
object of the week format, it could have been cool to see Jack team
up with such vampire hunters more often. This lone wolf monster
vendetta with misused medieval relics feels like a rare Jack-centric
episode, but the team is two steps behind as usual and Jack dictates
information just as much as he gets in on the conflicted action. He
admits that in their line of work, doing the right thing can be a
little too weird sometimes, and Jack gets caught in the middle with
twisted romance, then shocking innuendo, and murdered priests. It's
1990 but these vamps are pretty indiscriminate on who they bite.
Unfortunately,
Ryan is clearly over all the death in his life, and close to home
battles versus Lucifer interfere with a new chance to bond with the
mother who abandoned him. Seriously, how do
you
explain this line of work to mom? Demonic corruption, violence that
can't be undone, guilt, and final heroics send the character off in
an eerie and unique, if far fetched exit. It's at once cathartic to
see innocence win in a series where evil can't always be defeated,
however, continuing Friday
the 13th
with
two thirds of the regulars and a tacked on pal shifts the show's
dynamic considerably. Johnny Ventura suddenly becomes Micki's
sounding board but he feels more like an intrusion rather than
helpful. The hood from a few episodes last season is now supposedly
the hero as if a stranger dropped in with no explanation when the
series had other opportunities to involve better mystical support.
Whether Johnny stays at the store or has his own car is inconsistent
depending on if he is called for a lame reason or if his wheels are
part of the plot. He remains a non-believer in the paranormal even as
Jack tells him to make himself useful and warns Johnny to take these
dangerous curios seriously. Johnny can't retrieve an object alone nor
mind the store without selling the wrong item, and takes an ax to an
indestructible evil object when not trying to use the evil for
himself. For being the young muscle, he gets knocked out a lot, too.
Johnny does write fiction by getting ideas from the tabloids –
which Jack calls rubbish even though earlier in the series he said
the rags were the best place for tips. They discourage him from
writing about the store, but an underground publication angle might
have been neat instead of pushing this new character at the expense
of the others when Jack and Micki get on as a duo just fine.
Thankfully, Johnny is put to use climbing outside to adjust the
television antenna. Heck, Jill Hennessy (Law
and Order)
pops up three times as a sultry vampire, snotty secretary, and a
lifeguard. She could have kept around as an undercover regular
disguised per antique.
Orange
lighting, distorted bells, white out eyes, and wolves leaping through
windows keep up the horror intensity alongside foggy cemeteries,
stone crypts, religious iconography, fires, and red devils with the
horns to match the ghoulish skeletons, gory flesh, and melting oozes.
Underground tombs, torches, demon altars, rune manuscripts written in
blood, and pentagrams beneath the vault help make Curious Goods by
lantern light even creepier, and there's a stained couch with a body
in the pullout cushion! Mirrors assure those vampires have no
reflection, there's holy water on the shelves at Curious Goods, and
the store's business cards give its address as 666 Druid Avenue.
Hearts pounding and distorted camera angles set off veiny prosthetic
gore even if the period flashbacks and foreign locales are slightly
under budget old looking. Fortunately, the retro designs make the
most of the horror effects, building that patina mood with frock
coats and frilly collars for some provincial time travel or green
lighting, cigarettes, and noir styling for the vampire nightclub. The
swanky cars, station wagons, mothers in sweaters and pearls, and
thirty year old high schoolers with bad perms keep the nostalgia in
the forefront, compensating for reused sets and locations or that
same Tudor house used for everything.
The
early
computer snooping is also somewhat fake. You couldn't just type in a
name on blank screen and get clues back in the day! What do they
think this is, Google? This was the era of phone booths when folks
still had black and white televisions, and Friday
the 13th
gets
then edgy by using 'bitch' a lot – although such grit feels hollow
when wearing those big eighties blazers and tiny bolero ties. Men in
tight jeans, long scarves, duster trench coats, and mullets isn't so
timeless nor are the seriously purple eighties mod bathrooms with
black fixtures and bloody bathtubs. Of course, rather than due to any
letdown in syndication popularity, Friday
the 13th:
The Series was
canceled at a time when sponsors and advertising were swayed by
complaints on television violence and how far shows could push the
envelope in prime time. In retrospect, it's an ironic end knowing
everything seen here is almost friendly fair compared to the
excessive shocks across all the television viewing platforms today.
Season Three strays from the Friday
the 13th formula
as cast changes and a larger focus on plots of the week loose the
ability to fully capitalize on the spooky ideas presented.
Fortunately, enough late hour gems keep these terrible little
tchotchkes entertaining for old school horror audiences and series
completists.
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