Science
Fiction and Fantasy Collide!
by
Kristin Battestella
These
adventures retro and recent intermix the sci-fi and fantasy facts and
fiction. Whether the co-mingling crossover is good, bad, or
ugly...now that's a different story.
Outlander
– No not that one! This 2008 international science fiction
adventure starring Jim Caviezel (The Passion of the Christ),
Sophia Myles (Tristan & Isolde), John Hurt (The Field), and Ron Perlman
(Blade) is
a loose a la Beowulf
with rousing
music and fitting onscreen fonts looking both metal futuristic and
iron age old for this alien warrior crashing to earth in Norway, 709
AD. Rustic mountains and misty forests contrast the coastal spaceship
debris, flight suits, and alien computer interface downloading the
local language. Mission goodbye memories, burying fellow crewman, no
response homing beacon – this lone survivor is stranded sans high
tech weapons and there are signs of something monstrous at the nearby
burned village. Timber and thatch designs, mead halls, ancient trees,
Norse names, furs, and shield maiden styles set the Viking scene as
the titular captive is questioned about his unusual name. Standing
stones, Frankish enemies, and fear of dragons accent the leadership
tensions as the elders rule with safety over risk-taking young
warriors while new priests think the violence is Lucifer's wrath on
their old pagan ways. The dialogue is decent – our outsider tells
the king of his crashed ship and dead crew without the interplanetary
details, but the king suspects his “up north” origin is untrue
even if his revenge is genuine. Of course, there are typical orphan
bonding cliches, woman made tender by nursing tropes, and would be
rival warriors become friends so one can be a sacrificial BFF later.
Certain fight scenes also cheat with odd speeds and hokey CGI
imitations of Predator,
and the saturated night time blues with orange firelight schemes are
commonplace. The unseen alien cum Grendel attacks are better ominous
as monster silhouettes, oozing mouths, red flashes, fiery tentacles,
and blood splatters shock the otherwise chilly palette. Tracking
blood trails, carcasses, and beheadings are not for the faint yet
there are some bemusing moments as our astronaut can't hold his mead
or ride a horse. His harsh tone and clipped military manner matches
the out of place as the vikings look and sound oldeth. They accept
him with animal trophies and feasting games before giving him a cloak
that does indeed look like a sci-fi viking mix, building the culture
with people and relationships before special effects. Celestial
reflections keep the interstellar touches alongside clan wars and
revenge raids. Chieftains argue on how to trap a monster with typical
villagers build and learn how to defend themselves preparation scenes
and a go to the bathroom and you miss him Ron Perlman. However, this
outlander becomes handy with the rustic tools and uses whale oil for
his explosive plan. Seeing his primitive engineering is also fun
speculation compared to the over the top Ancient
Aliens
– maybe early people did have extraterrestrial metallurgy! Although
there should be no cutaways to other clans when the monster is
feasting, for the more you leave to the imagination, the better.
Frankly, I've always wanted to see Beowulf
done
with Grendel as nothing but sound – the scratching at the door
while the people inside fear – and it may have been even cooler had
this followed Beowulf
more
closely. This outlander's people were conquerors, too, and about the
campfire emotion and surreal flashbacks of his alien home accent his
ironic warning on colonialism when vikings would pillage all the way
to North America. Here, however, this outsider finds a place to
belong not by conquering, but defending amid well done deceptions and
fatal action twists with underwater battles and fantastically forged
swords from spacecraft salvage. Unfortunately, the waterfall finale
is messy with thrashing people, confusing action, a woman warrior
still needing her man, and obvious slow motion. An earlier, seemingly
more damaging attack on our alien monster doesn't kill it, yet this
simple end does just because the run time says so. Said monster,
however, is better looking once the sci-fi effects are lost in the
water and he becomes a sympathetic, last of his kind dragon. This
could have really shined as something spectacular, and forty
minutes of deleted scenes (!)
provide a different opening clarifying the viking conflicts and
narrations with more Norse focused character scenes. Flat out, this
is another butchered and barely there theatrical release that
deserved more, but that mother fucking shit bag scum maggot pervert
don't want to pollute my blog with his name Harvbumfucksteinasshole
sabotaged it. Fortunately, this remains a
surprisingly enjoyable and unique blend of futuristic meets medieval.
Zardoz
– John Boorman (Excalibur)
directs this 1974 international production featuring Charlotte
Rampling (Cleanskin) and
the red undies clad Sean Connery (Goldfinger)
amid
a 2293 science fiction surreal complete with the titular disembodied
head. A floating statue worshiped by post-apocalyptic horseback
warriors spews forth ammunition from its giant mouth as the immortal
Eternals play god, telling the Exterminators to kill the lesser
Brutals with gun is good and penis is evil mantras. Population
control and weapons fired directly at the spectator audience are
heavy allegories, but the statements are slow to start thanks to the
unnecessary, laughable beginning. Our flying head cruises along the
clouds before landing in the quaint English countryside with old
fashioned homes featuring skeletons, relics of the past, and
scientific charts on how homo sapiens begat eternals. Conversation
explains this immortal vortex and the divided outlands while psychic
flashbacks detail previous violence. These isolated rely on an
advanced computer intelligence, talking to it with a cool crystal
ring each wears as they study Connery's ruffian Zed, a surprising
presence polluting their hedonist equilibrium. Jealous women seem
coupled among fey, impotent men who put Zed to cataloging formerly
priceless works of art. Idle exiles so apathetic they become
catatonic, trials where the penalty is aging, psychic induced
strokes– there are seriously intriguing nuggets amid the goofy
happenings but saucy images and intercut montages make for strung
together steamy or cool vignettes in what should be a straightforward
culture clash parable. The eternals realize the outside world isn't
as bad as they have been lead to believe, and their corrupt society
has become what they were trying to prevent thanks to the mentally
and physically superior exterminators seeking truth and revenge. Tree
of knowledge osmosis, jacking into their matrix revelations, and
snake in the garden sex make man both savior and destruction in a
somewhat rushed action finale with nonsensical screaming and obvious
deus ex machina as wizards come out from behind the curtain and man
shoots at himself in the mirror to destroy his fallible god. Although
one can see the ahead of their time statements attempted here, the
silly design proves high concepts such as artificial intelligence,
cloning, reverse eugenics, and euthanasia can really be compromised
by messy seventies limitations and an overlong, trippy production.
Too much is happening that doesn't always work, yet modern viewers
have to laugh at the ridiculous as well as watch more than once for
what is trying to be said amid the surreal kaleidoscopes and
psychedelic crystals. Besides, I need the recipe for those giant
green pretzels.
A
Bonus Documentary
Awakening Arthur – From the
birth of Arthur with Igraine and Gorlois ruses to possible Avalon
tombs said to the hold sleeping King Arthur waiting to return; scenic
castles, stone ruins, jousting images, and medieval chalices match
the romance and chivalry chronicled in this 2001 documentary hour.
Welsh folklore, neolithic cave bears, and dragon legends of similar
Gaelic origins accent on location tours of Stonehenge, other megalith
stones, and 3,500 year old barrows. Early maps parallel local
mythology and constellations with Merlin myths amid historical
composites, Roman exits, Anglo-Saxon raids, and purported Druid
sacrifices. Red Dragon of Wales mantles provide Uther pendragon
backstory and Cornwall beginnings with lovely Tintagel photography
and Tennyson quotes recreating Merlin's cave rearing of Arthur.
Although some segments are quicker than others or more fiction than
fact, archaeological discoveries of fifth century Arthur inscriptions
offer concrete evidence alongside sword in the stone depictions,
Excalibur, Lady of the Lake healings, and ancient fertility rituals.
Medieval Christianity overtaking pagan symbols lead to a mix in the
Arthurian canon of ancient springs and Madonna image infusion;
symbolic sun king life, death, and rebirth; and regal quests chasing
the Holy Grail. The Guinevere marriage, Round Table origins, Lancelot
and Original Sin, and Galahad heroics grow from later eleventh
century Brittany writings while Geoffrey of Monmouth recountings add
Glastonbury Tor, Chalice Well, and rumored sites of Camelot at
Cadbury. Further mixing of local French folklore with giants and
Celtic gods elevate Arthur to something more mythical despite deadly
betrayals, possible Camlann locations, and Mordred battles. Ongoing
solstice rituals, contemporary druid revivals, and New Age
predictions combine with light defeating dark religious motifs,
literary vengeance tales, and Arthur's Seat hilltops as Avalon
journeys of slumber rather than death, new poetry, and purported
abbey skeletons add to the legends. While the narration and onscreen
host are somewhat stuffy for some viewers today and certain
information may be dated, the segment title cards breakdown the
timeline and there's a welcome lack of in your face background music
to the straightforward rather than frills. This isn't anything new to
scholars yet remains a quick Arthurian introduction for younger
audiences.
I'm
not Even Sure...
Immortal
– It's Charlotte Rampling again alongside eugenics warnings,
dystopian riots, organ harvesting, and helicopter crashes for this
2004 English-French co-production. There's a pyramid in the sky above
this futuristic city, too, and the God of the Dead Horus possesses
the body of a cryogenically frozen escapee to find a mate. Sadly, the
mixed animation design is embarrassingly hokey with live actors in an
unpolished and unrealistic entirely CGI setting. The cartoonish news
reports, jarring pyramid animation, and video game style characters
intercut with real people look they were done by different nineties
start ups – taking away any attempt at sophistication as the
audience wonders who each person covered in graphics is or if any
animated character is essential or not. Important Horus animations
look the worst, as his throat moves when he talks instead of his
beak. Ironically, it's like a man wearing a mask on his head, which
would have looked better. Non-human prejudice, alien metamorphosis,
and population extermination get lost amid the busy graphics, and
crowded storytelling leaves the internal logic nonsensical.
Writer/director Enki Bilal is also the author of the source comic
book, and he knows everything the audience doesn't. Unless you are
familiar with the materials prior, nothing is explained – we're too
far into the in media res with
illegal government experiments on aliens and failed revolution
martyrs bending to psychic piecemeal and convenient bar encounters.
Blue hues and green lights better suggest the alien weird and graphic
novel colorful, and hey, blue nipples are all the exotic needed.
Indeed, the simplest visual elements work best when they are allowed
to be without all the design intrusions. Intriguing characters and
romantic interactions blossom when people are free to discuss who
they are and ultimately find out who they are meant to be. This
picture proves why there aren't many films made in entirely digital
environs, for a muddle story throwing everything at the screen can't
compensate when it's all too noticeable for any suspension of
disbelief. I'd love to see this tale remade today, for what should be
a potentially interesting and straightforward tale of humans, aliens,
and gods fighting for their existence is compromised by the flawed
designs, uneven presentation, and messy happenings with questionable
consent sex scenes. Too many CGI characters that could have been
regular actors really don't mean anything, and fine moments with the
main characters in the second half aren't enough to save a finale
with no answers. Pity.
'Twas
Embarrassing!
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
– Charlie Hunnam (Crimson Peak), Jude Law (The
Talented Mr. Ripley), Eric
Bana (Troy),
Djimon Hounsou (The Tempest), Aidan Gillan
(Game of Thrones),
Annabelle Wallis (The Tudors), and a three minute
Katie McGrath (Merlin) star
in director Guy Richie's 2017 over the top retelling immediately
copying Lord of the Rings
with giant elephants and destruction set pieces. Arguing amid good
mages versus evil magic flashes are confusing and the story already
feels muddled with Camelot, Uther Pendragon, and Mordred mismatching
the general Arthurian canon. Assassinations provide little reason to
care when we don't know what's going on as one death after another
punctuate disjointed prologue scenes before restarting again thanks
to Londinium pans and super speed 300
boyhood
montages with pulsing music. This raised in the brothel Arthur is
pick pocketing on those mean medieval streets like Robin Hood –
change the names and you would not recognize this as anything
Camelot! CGI Siren/octopus/Macbeth witches tell the evil Vortigen
what to do while backroom conversations on graffiti are spliced with
viking heists, camera swipes, and quick editing. It's fast, it's in
your face, it's the streetwise clever we've been waiting for in a
follow up to RocknRolla
– but
it does not belong in a fantasy picture. Richie fans won't care for
the period framework and audiences tuning in for Arthurian fantasy
will be totally irritated by such modern sarcasm and self important
structure. Arthur is the only person wearing white so we know its him
when David Beckham – yes, David
Beckham
– yells at him to pull the sword from the stone. Every scene has
camera movement, zooms, or up close slides, never letting the
conversation, heroics, or villainy simmer as no shot is longer than
four seconds and no intercut conversation more than a minute. The
hectic plot and breakneck pace deliberately won't stay still so
viewers neither see how unArthurian this is or note how much it
borrows from elsewhere. The tunics are more like leather blazers or
biker vests, and behold, prophecy, or legend jargon feel out of place
amid the non-linear voiceovers and laughably modern dialogue spliced
with inconsequential action from unimportant moments prior. Arthur
pulls the sword from the stone, his uncle the king tells him he's the
true king's son, and his father's men want to follow him yet pissed
off Arty wants to go back to being a brothel pimp? People argue about
sending him to some dangerous Darklands while we see him in said
Darklands defeating a CGI snake, dragon, and some water wolf thing in
another 300 style
yadda yadda yadda montage. What should have been a critical character
connection from the beginning is instead used for a flashback action
sequence, indicating that the writing here was more interested in
holding back for count 'em five
planned movies after this inexplicably expensive franchise
non-starter. Why isn't
there a truly Lord of the
Rings proper
Arthurian telling in this television golden era? Why do all Arthurian
films and series need to repeat Arthur origin tales? Somebody please
put together a writer's room that culls the story resources into a
respectably interwoven adventure. Who in the heck decided this
destroyed tower, forged sword Excalibur mash up, and Vortigen Witch
King of Angmar were going to happen after
they start Camelot with Mordred, the character who traditionally
kills Arthur?
This Game of Thrones
meets Sons of Anarchy
in the style of 300 rotten
idea should never have made it all the way to being box office bomb.
It's angering, dizzying, headache
inducing, and I turned it off after the first hour.
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