31 July 2009

Somewhere In Time

Beautiful and Bittersweet Somewhere in Time

By Kristin Battestella


I hate romance movies. They’re so clichéd and sappy and overly girlie, and it’s all just too much. How then can I explain my praise of the 1981 love story Somewhere in Time? Jane Seymour, Christopher Reeve, tragic time travel, great costumes, and a tugging score can make romance look so good.


Eight years after a mysterious old woman gives him a pocket watch and says ‘Come back to me’; Chicago playwright Richard Collier (Reeve) can’t finish his latest play. On a whim, he ends up at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island and becomes quickly obsessed with the portrait of actress Elise McKenna (Seymour), who stayed at the hotel briefly in 1912. Richard contacts a local professor who wrote a book on time travel and prepares to travel back in time to be with Elise. Unfortunately, once Richard makes it to the past, Elise’s ruthless manager W. F. Robinson (Christopher Plummer) stands between them.


Perhaps now an oft used and familiar premise, Somewhere in Time’s story is based on the Richard Matheson’s novel Bid Time Return. The longtime Twilight Zone writer adapted his work for the screen-retaining his knack for intelligent, somehow realistic, but no less complicated tales. Naturally, we are dealing with one huge paradox-actually several ‘chicken or the egg’ dilemmas -but that’s the nature of most time travel stories. The ideology by Matheson is established enough for our belief to be suspended, yet there’s enough room for intelligent questions. Was Richard from the past and somehow moved forward? He’s a playwright and takes a class taught by a man who writes about time travel before he meets the elderly Elise and becomes obsessed with her portrait. How many times has he traveled to the past? I don’t wonder if we’re seeing the second time Richard has gone back. Robinson suspects him as the man who will ruin Elise, and even her first words to Richard are a cryptic, “Is it you?”


It’s bittersweet to see the late Christopher Reeve as a young, vital, and obsessive leading man, yes; but there’s also something about the magic of movies at work: Somewhere in Time has forever captured Reeve in the prime of his life. Richard is educated and talented, yet we believe Reeve’s obsession as Richard becomes maniacal about going into the past. We know him, we like him, and deep down, we don’t blame Richard for going to the lengths he does for love. Reeve sells Richard’s awkwardness in the past and the present-he’s of both, but belongs to neither. Much as we like Christopher Reeve, Christopher Plummer (The Thorn Birds, Counterstrike, Star Trek VI) is uptight and almost despicable as Elise’s ruthless and stern manager William Fawcett Robinson. He’s supposed to handle her career, but his old school man style thinks that applies to every facet of her life. He’s kept her sheltered until now-we don’t doubt he’s good at what he does-but his power is interfering with our couple. Plummer is tall and over bearing compared to Seymour, too. Reeve is also a big man next to his leading lady, but he convinces us of their perfect match. He’s traveled through time for it!


I’ve always liked Jane Seymour (Live and Let Die, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman) and her exceptional Elise McKenna is probably why. Her clipped English delivery and style go along way in bringing the romance in Somewhere in Time to life. In the first half of the picture, she’s so built up through her lovely portrait. When we finally meet Elise forty minutes into the film, it’s such a charming introduction-a whirlwind of music and magic and beauty. At last, we get to see her in the flesh-just like Richard. She’s innocent, yet a dynamo; the fabrics are sheer and effortless, yet there are hats, gloves, and etiquette. How can we not long for such youth, beauty, and grace?

Seymour can’t have any period piece charm, of course, without such breezy costumes and a heart wrenching score. The Grand Hotel has the perfect turn of the century charm, and the award winning dresses are a fine mix of Edwardian and Victorian styles. Somewhere in Time isn’t Titanic, but it isn’t flapper yet either. The 1912 timeframe is a beautiful and eclectic mix of that transitional time. McKenna is a stage actress, and the importance of the old-fashioned theater in its twilight before silent films is enchanting. Likewise, the Golden Globe nominated classical score by John Barry (Dances with Wolves, Out of Africa, The Lion in Winter) haunts the entire picture. Even when we’re in the eighties present, the trinkets, music, and Grand Hotel take us back.


Not for un-period piece fans, Somewhere in Time is sappy and melodramatic at times I must admit. All this time travel and intense romance actually happens in only a few days’ time; and all the upper crust emotion and romance is a little too mature for kids. Youthful viewers are better turned to Reeves’ wondrous Superman series. The seventies and eighties clothes and styles are a bit much for some today, too. I think we were more innocent back in the day, and I wore out my VHS copy of Somewhere in Time long ago. In fact, right after I made my mother a new tape, I found the DVD used at a very affordable $3! The behind the scenes feature on the Collector’s Edition disc is over an hour, with conversations from Matheson, director Jeannot Szwaerc (Jaws 2), and the entire cast and crew. There’s also a commentary option with Szwaerc, in addition to photos and a few other treats.

Audiences who enjoy old school styled films should try Somewhere in Time. If you watch one romance, this should be it. After all, it’s really about time travel, isn’t it?

17 July 2009

Dead Calm

Dead Calm Old, But Still Kind of Creepy
By Kristin Battestella

My Mother gets the wiggins every time she watches the 1989 thriller Dead Calm. A very young Nicole Kidman and then popular Billy Zane date this drama on the high seas, but there’s enough chills to keep you on the edge of your seat.

After the death of their son, John Ingram (Sam Neill) and his young wife Rae (Kidman) take time to grieve and bond anew as they sail back to Australia. After a month at sea, they encounter an unresponsive ship, then its lone survivor Hughie Warriner (Zane) on a dinghy. Neill leaves his wife to care for Hughie on their ship while he tries to save Warriner’s damaged vessel. Unfortunately, once Hughie has Rae alone, his true nature is revealed.

Dead CalmNatural suspense goes a long way for Dead Calm. There’s plenty of violence and disaster to get into on a lonely boat on the high seas. Director Phillip Noyce (Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, The Bone Collector) does well with the vast dangers of the sea as well as the tight, claustrophobic, and confined interiors. Who doesn’t love all that bottomless water along with all the wood and mechanics to use, abuse, and on which to get hurt? Even the dog aboard ship is used intelligently. The fine story by Terry Hayes (The Road Warrior, Payback) - based on the 1963 novel by Charles Williams- is also complete and well done in the under two hour time frame. There’s a ticking clock of rescue and seafaring desperation in Dead Calm that appeals to all our fears. Today the powers that be would make a huge action disaster picture full of computer-generated squalls and people in bikinis. While not lacking on action or congested fight scenes, Dead Calm focuses on what would happen when we add the worst of human nature to the sea.

Sam Neil (Jurassic Park, The Tudors) is a little old for his wife, and this strain-along with the death of their child goes a long way in Dead Calm. Neil’s authentic as a former Navy man who knows the ocean. We trust him, like him and his instincts. If John feel’s something fishy, we worry with him. We don’t doubt he loves his young and saucy wife, but John’s rigid style might not keep Rae for long.

But of course Dead Calm uses all it can of the young and pretty Kidman (The Hours, Moulin Rogue, To Die For) in her first big picture stateside. Her accent, style, and mannerisms are not the elegant lady we know today-in fact, her delivery might be difficult to understand for some. At first, it doesn’t seem there’s a lot to Rae beyond the clichéd young and grieving wife and mother. However, Kidman shows her future talent with charm and chemistry with both her leading men. As Dead Calm progresses, Rae wisens up and uses her short, beachy outfits to her advantage. Naturally, a certain sexuality comes into play-and it’s all good and ambiguous. We don’t doubt Rae’s grief and devotion to her husband, but she is younger and all alone with a hot and scary guy.

Billy Zane does bad guys best: Titanic, yes, The Phantom, not so much. Built and bizarre, you don’t blame the Ingrams for being suspicious when they meet Hughie. Sure, the tale he tells of violence and marooning on the high seas might make anyone a little flaky; but Zane sells every piece of Hugie’s psychotic bend. His paranoia, quick obsession with Rae, explosives speeches, and creepy dancing seep into everyone one of our fears-we’d be afraid to be alone with Hughie at all, let alone sailing away into the worst that we can imagine. Then again, I’m sure there is an audience that will find Zane’s portrayal sexy as hell. Despite his mental instability, Hughie is vital and in control, and yes, it is rough and kinky.

Dead Calm’s styles-much like Billy Zane’s popularity, have however, waned. The clothing styles are very dated and Kidman’s bushy hair isn’t all it could be. The score by Graeme Revell (Sin City, Daredevil, The Crow) is too overbearing and obvious as well. There’s also not much rewatchability once you know all of Dead Calm’s twists and turns. Some of the naughty scenes, however, can be studied and re-interpreted time and again.

Fans of the trio will enjoy-although, this picture is not for any one who has water or boat phobias, I must say. There’s nudity of course for Kidman and Zane lovers, too. They’ve gone on to bigger and better things, but Dead Calm has all the makings of a scary, psychological thriller. Dated, perhaps, but sex and fear never get old. Look for this high seas adventures on DVD or blu-ray.

13 July 2009

Family Friendly Fantasy and Science Fiction

Family Friendly Fantasy and Science Fiction
By Kristin Battestella

Hello again with another quick list of recommendations for your rainy days and family fun nights. Here are a few genre keepers that can be enjoyed by the entire family-young and old, modern and classic.

­The Adventures of Robin Hood - This 1938 classic may seem hokey to some, but tales of Sherwood Forest don’t get much better than this. Juvenile audiences and old time memories still make Errol Flynn’s be greened Robin, Olivia de Havilland’s Maid Marion, and Basil Rathbone’s Sir Guy of Gisborne a delight.

Swiss Family Robinson- Forget Pirates of The Caribbean, this 1960 Disney classic has tree houses, wild animals, tropical locations, and pirates! How can you not love Dorothy MacGuire and the scrawny boy who’s obviously a girl? Everyone can still enjoy this one-and it looks great on DVD. Disney just doesn’t make ‘em like they used to.

Clash of the Titans- This sword and sandal fanfare looks so bad yet still looks so good. The All-Star cast, Harryhausen-laden visuals, and story filled with meddling gods and mythical creatures is a delight for young and old. Very young children might be scared by the darker imagery and there’s a touch of toddler nudity; but kids 10 and under can still delight in this 1981 charmer.

Ladyhawke- Yes the music’s bad and the ending is weak, but this fanciful and tragic love story is still beautiful and moving. Rutger Hauer and Michelle Pfeiffer are bittersweet as two cursed lovers who can only see each other for a moment at dawn. Fine characters, witty humor, and nothing scandalous make this a family keeper.

Jurassic Park- This Steven Spielberg extravaganza isn’t exactly one of my favorites, but the sequels are down hill from this groundbreaking and visually stunning dinosaur ‘what if’. A fine cast and some awesome dinosaurs will always look good to the paleontologist at heart.

Stargate- The long running series and spin-offs have their fans, but the original 1994 Stargate is a commitment free fix for a night of archeology and action. Kurt Russell’s Colonel O’Neill has more edge, and who doesn’t love a little bit of aliens with their Ancient Egypt?

Batman Forever- Not as dark, serious, and thought provoking as the recent Batman installments, this 1995 edition from Joel Schumacher has comic book fun, color, Robin, and Bat Girl. Nicole Kidman, Jim Carrey, and Tommy Lee Jones add the supporting grit, humor, and charm. Kids can enjoy the lighthearted take on the Caped Crusader while parents critique Val Kilmer’s entry as Batman.

The Mummy- Another original film that reigns above its sequels and direct to DVD spin-offs. Here’s more Egyptology and fantasy to inspire the kids, along with charm and wit from Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. The mummy effects still look good to the mature, critical eye, and despite some humorous romance; there’s nothing skimpy and offensive.

X-Men- Perhaps not the best one in this mutant superhero trilogy, X-Men still packs in a lot of introductions and back-story, setting the scene for a fantastic look at discrimination. Teens who don’t already enjoy X-Men will love this tale of the gifted and misunderstood for its reflection of their own lives.

Bruce Almighty­- Though humorous and a little fresh in some places, Jim Carrey proves here that he can handle drama and mature story telling. Morgan Freeman is charming as God, and Carrey’s everyman struggles to do the right thing when given such enormous opportunity. Family friendly or even acceptable for youth group-beat that!

06 July 2009

MI-5: Season 4

MI-5 Season 4 Still Going Strong
By Kristin Battestella

After being addicted to the British television spy series MI-5 for the past few weeks, other things came up so I took a break from Season 4. In the back of my mind, I speculated that maybe this season just had too many cast changes and wasn’t as tight as previous series. Upon returning to the show, however, I was again surprised by just how much MI-5 can shock your brain.

Amid the ups and downs of daily life, married MI-5 agents Adam (Rupert Penry-Jones) and Fiona Carter (Olga Sosnovska) struggle with the demanding nature of their secretive day job. Relationships come no easier for Intelligence agent Ruth Evershed (Nicola Walker) or their boss Harry Pearce (Peter Firth). Newer agents Zafar Younis (Raza Jaffrey) and Jo Portman (Miranda Raison) are learning the ropes at Thames House, but National Security Coordinator Juliet Shaw (Anna Chancellor) walks a fine line amid British red tape and international intrigue.

Season 4 branches out a bit with more international heavy storylines, foreign locales, and global suspense. From internal terrorism to ex KGB cohorts, Syria, Iran, and Turkish tension- creator David Wolstencroft keeps MI-5 relevant. It’s only been four years since this season originally aired, but in our fast-paced world, the politics of MI-5 are still pushing the limit of what American audiences are used to. I will say, however, that this show is better when it keeps the personal in the intrigue. We care about all the treachery because we like the people who deal with all these dangers on a daily basis. From tensions with our dearest friends to conspiracy theories about Princess Diana; as an American, I like seeing the homegrown UK trials and tribulations. That simple, ‘they’re people, too!’ works for some mighty fine television.

MI-5, Volume 4Since losing MI-5’s original lead trio, Peter Firth’s boss Harry Pearce has stepped up to the plate. We’re seeing more of Harry’s personal dilemmas in and out of Thames House. He’s cool and collected for his team, but we’re beginning to see things aren’t so clear-cut for him. Government politics and backdoor deals take their toll as well. We also get so see more of Nicola Walker and her Ruth Evershed in and out of the office. She has personal friendships but total professionalism with Harry and the team. Once shy, Ruth becomes a strong voice of information and support for the younger and newer members of the team. I hope to see more of her and Harry next season. The final two episodes here give these characters their due, and I’m aching to move on to next season after Episode 10’s cliffhanger. I’m waiting for the Season 5 DVDs to arrive, and oh, the agony!

It may seem strange to say, but Adam Carter’s role at MI-5 isn’t as clearly defined as his predecessor Tom Quinn. If he’s the Section Leader, how can he be the boss of his own wife Fiona? Outside of this quirk, I like the mix of their familial relationship with their highly unusual workplace. Penry-Jones’ Adam has all that leftover clout from MI-6, but he’s beginning to let all this spy baggage hinder his stride. He’s still played as cool and badass and at the highest level of his game, but tough choices and crazy decisions midway through the season dent Adam’s armor and somehow make him more likeable. Of course, we have another cast departure due to Olga Sosnovksa’s pregnancy. Fiona Carter’s exit seems quicker then last season’s played out departures, but hers seems more realistic. She’s a darn good spy, a great wife who surely has to let a lot go in this business, and a loving mother who keeps her son as unaware of her double life as possible. Sure, it’s fun to spot all the pregnancy cover up tricks, but we like and subsequently miss Fiona.

Despite some fine departures this season and last; we get no onscreen explanation for the absence of desk agent Sam Buxton (Shauna Macdonald). She was all right, but I like the introduction this season of Miranda Raison (Match Point) and her junior agent Jo Portman. The character comes into the system quickly with only an investigative journalism background, but she has instincts and spunk. It’s annoying sometimes when as the rookie Jo makes a mistake, but I like the way Adam takes her under his wing. Maybe there might be some romantic chemistry there or at least an early crush on Jo’s part; but it also seems like the writers are pushing Jo towards a character strengthening relationship with fellow young agent Zaf. Unfortunately, like the obligatory minority before him, Raza Jaffrey’s (Mistresses, Sharpe’s Peril) Zaf hasn’t had much to do beyond being the young hip guy. Adam was the young hip guy last season, and now that’s he’s matured, I suppose we need another hip young guy? I hope Zaf grows up some for next season. We’ve yet to dig deep with him like MI-5 is capable of doing.

We know some agents better than others-and I think the staggering of the comings and goings of our personnel is a good thing-but this season has finally presented a character of which I’m not fond. National Security Chief Juliet Shaw (Anna Chancellor, Suburban Shootout) is perhaps meant to be a bitchy high up political woman on Harry’s side, but her seeming incompetence at the actual spy game undoes any political help she may bring. It’s realistic that maybe she got the job because she’s a woman, and her horrendous mistakes at MI-5 are also true to the real life workplace. Unfortunately, all this makes Juliet her very unlikable. If she did have a past romantic relationship with Harry as we’re led to believe, it doesn’t warm her up any.

I’ve noticed that the bulk of my MI-5 reviews have focused on character analysis, and frankly, that’s because if you don’t care about the people at Thames House, you won’t like the show. There’s a lot of spy in jokes regarding MI-5’s sibling MI-6 and Her Majesty’s most famous spy, James Bond. Though it’s a smaller scale as a 10-episode television season, I have to say MI-5 has a lot going for it against the current incarnation of Bond. It’s much more realistic and statement making than Craig’s attempts, as well as more intelligent. Where we like an element of fantasy in Bond’s lifestyle, we expect MI-5 to be edgy and heavy. In that regard, the show is much more akin to the Bourne series than what some call the ‘Bournification’ of Bond. Nevertheless, we stick with Bond and MI-5 not for all the action, gadgets, and effects- but for how these people react in the extreme situations of their dangerous and deadly day job. If you think you have it bad, spend the night with MI-5.

Strangely, this season doesn’t bother to swap the British name Spooks for MI-5 in the opening credits. I suppose if you’re this far into the series, you understand the term and thus the makers aren’t worried about potential American offenses. Unfortunately as I mentioned earlier, this is also the last season offered on Netflix Instant Watch streaming, so it’s back to my DVD queue proper until I can purchase the upcoming seasons. The sets are affordable enough, just tough to find in brick and mortar stores. Still, with rental and streaming options and PBS airings stateside, there’s no reason not to take a chance on MI-5. Intelligent, mature audiences will enjoy the grit, emotion, and intrigue.

02 July 2009

The Seven Year Itch

The Seven Year Itch Still Charming
By Kristin Battestella

Despite my sister’s avid collecting of Marilyn Monroe memorabilia, she’s not a big fan of 1955’s The Seven Year Itch. Some may find all that iconic white blowing dress and neighborly temptation played, but audiences unfamiliar with Monroe can still enjoy this witty and complete comedy.

Dime Publisher Richard Sherman (Tom Ewell) keeps himself in check around the ladies while his wife is vacationing with their son for the summer. He does well: eats right, no drinking, and no smoking-until ‘The Girl’ (Monroe) enters his life. She’s renting the apartment upstairs for the hot New York summer, and Richard- married for seven years-sees no harm in being neighborly. The Girl and Richard play chopsticks and take in the air conditioning, but is it too much for this loyal husband? Richard tries to calm himself by reading a potential manuscript, but unfortunately, it’s a psychology book about man and his understandable ‘seven year itch’.

The Seven Year ItchMarilyn Monroe. No one can help but notice that her torpedo boobs enter before she does. Indeed, Monroe (How to Marry A Millionaire, Gentleman Prefer Blondes) was actually quite curvy and full figured-not like today’s obsession with sickly thin. Naturally, director Billy Wilder (Sunset Boulevard, The Apartment, Some Like It Hot, The Lost Weekend) uses every camera angle and movie making trick in the book to show Monroe in all her glory. The Girl keeps her panties in the fridge when it’s hot…and that’s all it takes for Richard to break out a cigarette. Her costumes are perfection, and Monroe’s wispy and husky delivery works for comedic timing. Even if she is a little over the top, who cares? Most fifties films are a bit obvious anyway, and she’s cute and charming enough to forgive. The Girl’s a little dumb and blissfully unaware of why men like her, but nevertheless likeable. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with Marilyn while eating potato chips and drinking champagne? Although her off screen antics were not fun- lateness, numerous takes, flubbed lines, and a divorce from Joe DiMaggio made The Seven Year Itch a little infamous. It was probably a difficult performance for Wilder to capture, but Monroe was well worth it.

Not nearly as famous as his leading lady, Tom Ewell (State Fair, Baretta) does a fine job as the beguiled everyman struggling with temptation on all fronts. It’s a shame he’s upstaged by Monroe, for Ewell reprises his Tony winning stage role just fine. Modern audiences might find Richard’s near soliloquies awkward or slow, but these meandering talks are critical to his character. Richard’s opinion that his sex appeal attracts women like a moth to flame is, well, shall we say askew. It’s all a little contrived, of course, that Richard has air conditioning and The Girl doesn’t- but the allusions between sex and heat are tough for him to handle. Besides, we never tire of such subjects! We like Richard even if he’s skirting a fine line. Ewell’s practiced mannerisms sell the angst and tension. Instead of a serious commentary on adultery, Ewell’s cigarette puffs, bumbling stature, and fanciful visions keep The Seven Year Itch lighthearted. In actuality, it’s not the notion of the sexpot that’s unique here. It’s Richard’s witty daydreams that keep The Seven Year Itch fresh.

Though charming, The Seven Year Itch is the dated fifties in all their glory. The opening Manhattan Indians montage is woefully stereotypical, as is the omnipotent voiceover telling us about five hundred years of man’s wondering eye. There are, however, comedy references to scandalous wit-quick lines about nudist camps and the boys upstairs who are interior decorators ‘or something’. A naughty dream sequence where Richard imagines his secretary seducing him over his desk-as well as a nurse too involved with bedside manner- are funny, sure, but they also represent the ideal fantasy for a man: the woman is either the dowdy homemaker or the unachievable sexual ideal. Ironically, Richard’s wife Helen (Evelyn Keyes, Here Comes Mr. Jordan, Gone with the Wind) might be looking, too-but it’s implied that she’s merely being charmed by the sly, bad writer Tom MacKenzie (Sonny Tufts, The Virginian). George Axelrod (Breakfast at Tiffany’s) tamed down his Broadway play for the screen, so The Seven Year Itch still has that dated style of the old-fashioned ‘honey I’m home!’ big man. Not many of the old school pillow talk films are viewable fifty years later, but The Seven Year Itch does have something that never gets old. It’s the anti Fatal Attraction look at men and women and fidelity.

The sentiments my have been different, but The Seven Year Itch also keeps what’s good about the fifties alive. The sets are perfect time capsules from 1955; and the costumes, props, books, and colors are as quintessential as Ms. Monroe and that delicious subway breeze. (Such ten seconds of scandal!) It’s amazing that with such visible legs and quick kisses, this friendship can seem so innocent then and now. Richard and The Girl go to see The Creature from the Black Lagoon, and argue if women find Gregory Peck hot. If you’re not a classic film buff, you probably can’t appreciate all the subtle charm of The Seven Year Itch. When Richard is asked what blonde is in his kitchen, he plainly says off the cuff, “Maybe it’s Marilyn Monroe!”

Fans of Monroe should enjoy The Seven Year Itch, as should any fan of old school film. Despite its kinky topics, all the Hollywood codes are in place. There’s nothing overtly visual to deter a family fun night-although adults can certainly study The Seven Year Itch for all its almosts. Available in several DVD editions and Marilyn Monroe collections, The Seven Year Itch is apparently not available on blu ray as of yet. Thankfully, online options and affordable prices are keeping the nostalgia alive. “Isn’t it delicious?”




29 June 2009

The Invasion versus War of the Words

The Invasion versus War of the Worlds
By Kristin Battestella

What are the odds that once golden couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman would both star in remakes of science fiction classics within two years of each other? Though delayed and quieter than Cruise’s 2005 blockbuster action yarn War of the Worlds, Kidman’s 2007 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers fairs somewhat better…maybe.

The InvasionPsychiatrist Carol Bennell (Kidman) begins to notice strange behavior and bizarre stories from her patients, including abused wife Wendy (Veronica Cartwright, also in the 1978 Invasion of the Body Snatchers). Carol has misgivings about her sickly son Oliver (Jackson Bond) visiting with his father-her ex husband and CDC administrator Tucker (Jeremy Northam)-for he and his colleagues are also not themselves. Carol consults with her boyfriend Dr. Ben Driscoll (Daniel Craig) and his coworker Dr. Stephen Galeano (Jeffrey Wright) as more and more people go to sleep and wake up completely devoid of emotions. When violence and totalitarian rule escalate in the city, Carol and Ben attempt to rescue Oliver from his father and escape to a military base where Stephen works on a cure.
In War of the Worlds, Ray Ferrier (Cruise) hopes for quality time with daughter Rachel (Dakota Fanning) and teenaged son Robbie (Justin Chatwin) while his ex wife Mary Anne (Miranda Otto) and her new husband visit family in Boston. Ray’s family troubles are quickly mended when strange phenomena mysteriously occur. Monstrous alien tripods rise from the earth, destroy massive buildings, and kill all in their path, sending Ray and his family on the run.

If I had to choose, I have to admit I’d take Kidman over Cruise. When Cruise was riding high in Top Gun and Kidman was scared in Dead Calm, my feelings might have been reversed. Recently, however, I could careless about Cruise and his off screen antics. He’s become a parody of himself, and War of the Worlds only adds to this feeling. Despite the heavy action and extreme circumstances presented, Ray continually comes out a-okay. He’s never that roughed up, and the viewer can only suspend belief for so long. Help, coincidence, and deus ex machina preposterously aide Ray again and again. At some point, I found myself saying, ‘I just don’t care! Take him!’

By contrast, The Invasion turns our favorite pod people tale into a maternal vehicle. The execution is not perfect-Kidman looks too pretty for too long in skirts and high heels-but a science fiction family female is unusual enough. Instead of an action hero, Carol is intelligent and believable. She keeps her wits as instinct and emotional attachments drive her to a realistic course of action. Though a spotlight for Kidman, director Oliver Hirschbiegel (Five Minutes in Heaven) and his replacement (not a good sign in itself) James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) never quite get the right balance between serious psychological drama and hard science fiction thriller. Had more time been spent on the dark places for Carol, The Invasion might have been an exceptional film.

I still can’t put my finger on new Bond Daniel Craig. In his brief but memorable roles in Tomb Raider and The Jacket, I find myself wanting more of him. As Bond however, I don’t think he’s on par just yet. The Invasion falls in the previous: Craig’s Ben Driscoll simply doesn’t have enough to do. It’s not the pairing with Kidman-maybe they do have chemistry here and in The Golden Compass. The duo is just never on screen enough to find out. We’re supposed to care about these characters because The Invasion’s summary lists Ben as Carol’s potential love interest. Like all the other soft spots in The Invasion, writer David Kajganich (Town Creek) and clean up men Larry and Andy Wachowski (The Matrix) don’t make use of Craig and all the scientific or romantic possibilities.

Unfortunately, Lord of the Rings alum Miranda Otto fairs no better in War of the Worlds. We can’t have our romantic interests be equal to their onscreen star partners, now can we? She’s successful and well-known Down Under, but Otto hasn’t faired well in supporting parts stateside. Cashmere Mafia, The Starter Wife, and War of the Worlds don’t do her justice. Mary Anne is practically an absent MacGuffin, and son Justin Chatwin (The Invisible) is cast aside in favor of supposedly touching action between Cruise and Dakota Fanning. They say never act with kids or dogs, and she is why. The Taken charmer steals the spotlight from Cruise-unlike Jackson Bond (In Case of Emergency) in The Invasion. Like everyone else besides Kidman, we simply don’t see enough of him to care.

For me, science fiction and people go hand in hand. Whether sociological or hard science, the genre works because it places a mirror of the human condition in outlandish situations-we feel for the aliens with issues, struggle with the technological debates. Unfortunately, both The Invasion and War of the Worlds excel at neither. Kidman’s maternal action is good, but not as mind blowing as Jack Finney’s source book The Body Snatchers or either the 1956 or the ‘78 Invasion of the Body Snatchers films. Even 1993’s Body Snatchers gives us the military and scientific aspects of such an invasion. For a film packed full of scientists- including a wasted Jeremy Northam (The Tudors) and Jeffrey Wright (Casino Royale)-there isn’t a lot of science in The Invasion. One might just think it a disaster thriller, not even science fiction. I would rather have seen a picture with Kidman and Craig trapped on a military base struggling with viruses, cures, and quarantines. You know, sf that’s not so far from the scary truth. Why get iffy with all this modern political intrigue and statements?

War of the Worlds (Widescreen Edition)Of course, War of the Worlds swings at the opposite end. Trading time, place, and words of warning from H.G. Wells novel; Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg (Saving Private Ryan) update to contemporary New Jersey and sacrifice people for every blockbuster effect in the book. Remember when blockbuster meant that a film was a hit-box office success, awards sweeps, advances in the technology of motion pictures. Today the term ‘blockbuster’ is any attempt at the formula. If we have big people, big hype, and big CGI, then we have a blockbuster! Maybe some like War of the Worlds, but it does not capture its source material any more than The Invasion. Both are too full of themselves instead of the potential story at hand.

Yes, Cruise and Kidman are imperfect in their respective science fiction vehicles. Against classics of the genre both quickly falter as vanity films. For a mindless spectacle and Cruise funfest, by all means spend a night in with War of the Worlds. For more intelligence and suspense, The Invasion is what’s watchable. Of course, for really bad comparisons we could check out Cruise and Kidman’s Eyes Wide Shut or The Golden Compass for more Kidman and Craig. But why would anyone want to go there?

25 June 2009

Cape Fear (1962)

Original Cape Fear Still Chilling
By Kristin Battestella

Many modern audiences and Robert DeNiro fans especially love to quote his maniacal ‘Come out, come out wherever you are!’ from the 1991 version of Cape Fear. Classic viewers, however, can still enjoy the 1962 fear fest starring old school men Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum.

Lawyer Sam Bowden (Peck) fears for his family’s safety after an ex con he helped put away returns to town. Max Cady (Mitchum) feigns innocence, claiming he has every right to be passing through. Sam’s wife Peggy Bowden (Polly Bergen) and daughter Nancy (Lori Martin), however, each have threatening encounters with Cady-including stalking Nancy at school and calling Peggy late at night. When the promiscuous Diana Taylor (Barrie Chase) refuses to press charges against Cady for beating her, the authorities are of little help to her or Sam. Before Cady can do worse to his family, Bowden decides to take matters into his own hands.

We’re familiar with the story-and not just because of the films or the source novel The Executioners by John D. MacDonald. Cape Fear dramatizes every family man’s fear. First, there’s the notion that a man’s action or inaction can bring something like this onto his family. Then we have all the naughty vibes of a criminal hunting down a man’s wife and daughter. Any husband or father can understand Bowden’s situation. Screenwriter James R. Webb (The Big Country, How The West Was Won, They Call Me Mister Tibbs) doesn’t present a tainted family man or promiscuous daughter like in the remake, but there’s enough sixties scandal to keep this Cape Fear juicy.

Cape FearHe’s tall, dark, and handsome, and good guy Gregory Peck is the ideal family man for Cape Fear. Among so many other heroic pictures (Spellbound, The Gunfighter, Roman Holiday I could go on…), we love familial Peck in To Kill A Mockingbird and The Yearling. We know he’ll stay on the right side of the law for as long as he can. Justice and family are the only things that matter to Sam Bowden, so when he takes on Cady himself, we know it’s serious. Peck may be taller than Mitchum, but can he be as ruthless as he needs to be in order to protect his family? The heated and tense conversations between Bowden and Cady keep Cape Fear saucy and interesting; yet there’s no doubt we’re rooting for Gregory Peck. We don’t question him or his performance, but he’s the good guy in a world that’s seemingly turned against him.

By contrast, Robert Mitchum has all the spooky vibes going for him in Cape Fear. Despite his handsome rugged old Hollywood style, Mitchum’s real life pot conviction and scandalous strip down here add to his underlining touch of menace. He shows his wet and deadly bare bulk, yowzah! Cady’s pursuing such a wholesome family, and that poor dog! Sure, we don’t have as much ambiguity and overt sexuality as in the 1991 remake, but Mitchum (Night of the Hunter, Heaven Knows Mr. Allison, The Longest Day, El Dorado) pushes the envelope of what you can see onscreen-and the allusions to what happens in the shadows are sometimes more frightening. Cady creepily reverses our notions of bad guys dressed in black with his daunting Panama hat and suave cigar. He talks the talk in attempting to show us how he’s been wronged, but we are always aware his slick is just too slick. Cady ‘looks fair and feels foul’, and Mitchum oozes every iota of it.

Lori Martin (National Velvet The TV Series, The Angry Breed) as Nancy looks young for fourteen-not a little girl, of course, but still a bit too prepubescent for big and scary Robert Mitchum. It’s an innate fear of ours to be preyed about by such a sexual predator. Martin plays her innocence and fear quite naturally and understandably. Likewise, Polly Bergen (War and Remembrance, Commander in Chief) as wife Peggy gets genuinely panicked for herself and her daughter’s safety. She’s the picture perfect Mrs. in the spirit of June Cleaver-complete with pearls. We’d like things to stay white gloved for her, but we know its going to get dirty. Her screams while Cady’s about are enough to make us squirm. Telly Savalas (Kojak) also has old school charm as Charles Sievers, the Private investigator hired by Bowden. Unfortunately, his hands are tied in the swift cat and mouse game Cady’s playing.

British director J. Lee Thompson (The Guns of Navarone) uses his cast to perfection and films them accordingly. Innocent wife Peggy and little Nancy always wear white or bright clothing-compared to dancer Barrie Chase’s (It’s A Mad Mad Mad Mad World) used and abused Diane Taylor in all black. The visual subtleties and timely music are very Hitchcock. The creepy black and white shadows mixed with long angles and moving camera shots also add to the noir suspense. Where the remake is all exceptional performances, this Cape Fear is much more about the craft of a scary picture. One could dare say this is the perfect horror film. There’s no blood and gore; it’s the real life menace that scares. A sunny day at the dock with Robert Mitchum in his panama hat is the most terrifying thing this side of Fred Krueger.

Fans of good old-fashioned black and white thrillers should already know and love Cape Fear. A two pack DVD featuring both film versions is now out of print, but a fully featured individual release of the original is fortunately available. Enjoy DeNiro and Jessica Lange and Nick Nolte’s version, too, but take a chance on this creepy old school classic. Study it, learn it, fear it, love it.

24 June 2009

Summer Sees and Skips

Summer Sees and Skips for the Whole Family

By Kristin Battestella


With all the holidays and vacays, you and you’re family need to know what to watch during you’re summer movie nights. Here are some tips on what to enjoy- along with a few pictures to avoid.


See and Enjoy


Napoleon Dynamite- After finally seeing this 2004 teen comedy I was pleasantly surprised by its coming of age wit and awkward stuck in the eighties silliness. Not quite for children, but teens and folks who remember graphic t-shirts will laugh.


Little Miss Sunshine- A fine ensemble cast-including Steve Carell, Toni Collette, and Alan Arkin- gives this quiet picture the umph, charm, and plenty of humor. Some parts are a little sentimental, and you should know if you’re kids can handle some of the heavier subject matter before viewing; but this one has drama and family analysis for the intelligent audience.


Mr. Bean’s Holiday-He’s not as cruel as he used to be, but Mr. Bean’s hijinks still have laugh out loud moments and English wit for the whole family. This road trip sequel does far better than the titular Bean and even has some heart-warming charm, too.


The Departed- Put the kids to bed for this gritty undercover cop and mole game from director Martin Scorsese. Plenty of hardware and fine action from Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mark Wahlberg add spice and intrigue-and more than make up for an ambiguous ending.


The 6th Day- Sure there’s action that we expect from Arnold Schwarzenegger, but this 2000 sci-fi thriller has science, intelligence, and religious debate to thicken the mix. More than just an excuse to have two Arnolds about, director Roger Spottiswoode presents cloning issues that aren’t that far from current science.



Yes Man- Jim Carrey’s latest starts off like Liar, Liar but grows into a charming mix of humor and drama. Fine support from Zooey Deschanel and Terrence Stamp add reflection and warmth. Outside of brief nudity and innuendo, the whole family can enjoy-not often said for a Carrey picture.


Traitor- Don Cheadle and Guy Pearce are dynamite in this international thriller. Touching upon the FBI, CIA, radical Islam, and the American Way, Traitor is complex, intelligent, intricate, and yet wrapped with a fine cast and realistic action.


Donnie Darko- A little obvious and weird; but a fine ensemble, intriguing premise, and good old teen angst keep this quirky picture interesting. Go for the Director’s Cut DVD for more scenes and food for thought.


Finding Neverland- Sentimental and full of Victorian Charm, fans of Kate Winslet, Johnny Depp, and all things Peter Pan will love this little film. The whole family can enjoy the drama, fantasy, and trouble with growing up while learning a thing or too about J.M. Barrie.


Avoid


In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale- I have tried to watch this poor imitation of the Lord of the Rings at least a dozen times. So many things are wrong with this Uwe Boll film-from the blatant Peter Jackson ripoffs to the woeful cast. Ray Liotta’s Goodfellas’ delivery does not work with Matthew Lillard and his Shaggy squeaks-and that’s if you can figure out what the hell is going on.


The Golden Compass- Another children’s fantasy book rushed to the screen, creating a mishmash of effects with an incomplete story. Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig are wasted along with some fine young talent. Some were upset about the anti-Catholic sentiments in the novels, but there isn’t much of anything worthwhile here.


Pathfinder- We don’t see nearly enough Viking pictures, but a great story idea is lost amid all the action and barely there bad dialogue. What might have happened if Vikings encountered early Native Americans? The racial stereotypes here certainly don’t tell us.


The Other Boleyn Girl-I like Medieval films and Tudoresque material, but this adaptation of the Philippa Gregory novel boils the reign of one of England’s most infamous monarchs down to a sisterly catfight. Erica Bana, Natalie Portman, and Scarlet Johansson are wonderful elsewhere, but an international cast was not needed for what should be some definitive Englishness.


17 June 2009

The World is Not Enough and Die Another Day

Visuals and Played Style Taint The World is Not Enough and Die Another Day

By Kristin Battestella


Initially, I began writing two separate reviews for 1999’s The World Is Not Enough and 2002’s Die Another Day. After viewing Brosnan’s final two Bond pictures in one night, however, I found my writing so darn negative, similar, and depressing that I combined my commentaries. Do I really want to talk about all the wrongs in these Bond pictures? It just hurts so much!

After losing an assassin in Spain, 007 James Bond (Brosnan) returns to London. Unfortunately, he unwittingly facilitates the death of oil guru Robert King (David Calder, Bramwell), an old friend of MI 6 boss M (Judi Dench). Fearing an assassination attempt or another kidnapping of King’s daughter Elektra (Sophie Marceau), Bond protects Elektra as she oversees her father’s vision of a cross continental oil pipeline. Bond tracks down former KGB agent Renard (Robert Carlyle) and uncovers ties to Russian mobster Valentin Zuchovsky (Robbie Coltrane). When Renard steals a nuclear bomb, American physicist Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) helps Bond recover the stolen plutonium.


The Word Is Not Enough makes unique strides in its action packed and plot critical pre opening sequence. It’s the series’ longest opener at nearly fifteen minutes; and the slick assassinations, touches of MI 6 proper, and sweet boat chase make time fly here. However, I have to say I’m a little tired of snow sequences and skiing and parachute action. It’s been done so many times in these movies alone. It’s not cool anymore. It’s not nearly as action oriented-perhaps over actioned- as the subsequent Die Another Day or Craig’s updated pictures, but The World is Not Enough makes no new action attempts, either.

An international cross continental pipeline and Stockholm Syndrome, nuclear warheads and cute doctors, wow- The World Is Not Enough pulled out all the stops, didn’t it. House writers Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, and Bruce Feirstein’s plot starts off strong but meanders with double talk drivel and a mishmash of devices and locations. Onscreen titles tell us whether we’re in Kazakhstan or Turkey or Spain, but at some point, it doesn’t matter to me where the action’s at. Most of The World Is Not Enough is predictable and redundant. By time something interesting happens-like the kidnap of M- it’s just too unbelievable and too weak for the audience to care. It’s global! It’s nuclear! No its not, its pieces of every other Bond picture. The World Is Not Enough is very superficial. Real oil crisis, nuclear intrigue, and Stockholm Syndrome analysis never happen. Though not one of the franchise’s best, the title song is fine, as are the nineties psychedelic titles. It’s all so ho hum though, like The World Is Not Enough itself; not super bad, but not enough to stand out either. Really, I don’t even know who Garbage is.


Now, as much as we love Pierce Brosnan and love Pierce Brosnan as Bond, he seems to have peaked with his debut in Goldeneye and gone downhill since. Brosnan is on form here, and the bland nature of The World Is Not Enough is not his fault. The humor, innuendo, and quips are all there; but the story and script relegate Bond to a blind bodyguard. How did he not see through Elektra King from the start? Sure, he gets his fun, and villains always say that women are his weakness-but Bond isn’t usually so, well, duped. This, his shoulder injury and the youth of Christmas Jones make Brosnan’s Bond appear far older than he really is. Is he that dumb, out of practice, and far from his prime? Of course not, but the story and action in The World Is Not Enough would have us think so. Some love to hate Roger Moore’s tenure-but his films seem to alternate between horrendously bad and really, really good. Unfortunately, Brosnan’s four pictures slowly meander in story, become slaves to action, and don’t do him justice.

Like Brosnan, I really love Judi Dench (As Time Goes By, Shakespeare In Love) and I really love her hard ass M. Nevertheless, attempts to put M into the main plot of a picture don’t seem to work. Her abduction happens way to easy, and seeing such a posh and classy lady in a dingy cell isn’t dangerous, it’s laughable. Thankfully, the humor with Q and John Cleese’s R is better. A bit obvious yes with a Monty Python alum, but its fun to see someone who’s as dorky and somehow charming as Q. Tragically, this is Desmond Llewelyn’s final picture, but he’s a delight as always. While it’s understandable to have the gadgetry scene and it’s a stretch this time around for more M; but where the heck is Moneypenny? I’d like more of her and MI 6’s easy doctor, Molly Warmflash. Great name and intelligence from Serene Scott Thomas; she’s believable as a doctor and still smokin’. It would have been great fun to see her become a regular. It’s also nice to see M’s aides Robinson (Colin Salmon, Dinotopia) and Bill Tanner (Michael Kitchen, Foyle’s War) both return. I suppose we can have too many house players hogging a picture, but with an increased M and MI 6 headquarters, The World Is Not Enough misses another opportunity in expanding these players.

Sophie Marceau’s Elektra King is the series’ first true female villain, but it’s not as if we haven’t had bad girls and twisted henchwomen before. I don’t think any onscreen explanation is given for her French accent, but its okay. Her delivery is authentic and believable. It’s certainly better than all the dub jobs of old. There’s an explanation for it, but her big ass odd earrings annoy the heck out of me. Marceau (Braveheart) is beautiful and sexy and in some ways Bond’s female match, that’s all that matters. Unfortunately, The World Is Not Enough again strays from what could be so good. By time we get to the supposedly sexually angsted final confrontation between Elektra and Bond, it’s a little anticlimactic.


I like Robert Carlyle in his comedy work like The Fully Monty but his Renard is one of dumbest villains in the franchise. It’s not the bullet in the brain and no pain touches-though they are silly enough-but Carlyle’s style and accent just don’t seem badass enough here. When watching, I kept expecting him to peel off the bullet scar, say ‘Cheers’ and eat it. Also unbelievable is Denise Richards (Wild Things, Starship Troopers) and her Dr. Christmas Jones. Like bootylicious Tanya Roberts in A View to A Kill, Richards’ is too young and her delivery to marshmallow to be scientific. Her Tomb Raider short shorts and cropped top are also ridiculous. If she’s there to look at, then don’t try to deny it. Bond pictures are the one place where its okay-nay it’s preferred and expected to have completely superficial women. Besides, for however smart they try to make Christmas, she’s still the damsel in distress. Always crying for James, isn’t she? Much time is also spent on the second series appearance of Robbie Coltrane’s (Harry Potter) Valentin Zukovsky, but this is also a rehash and uncharming attempt by Feirstein to recapture the wit of Goldeneye. One time Bond director Michael Apted (Coal Miner’s Daughter) should have kept the focus on Bond and Elektra-creating a strong antagonistic relationship instead of these supposedly important people.


Fans of the cast will of course enjoy The World Is Not Enough, as will die hard Bondafiles regardless of this missed boat. I feel bad for younger folks who say they grew up with Brosnan as Bond. If you think this is the finer point of the franchise, then you are sorely mistaken. I suppose straight action fans might enjoy this outing and its nuclear intrigue, but unfortunately, middle of the road fans are somewhat left out by this middle of the pack Bond picture. After a night with The World Is Not Enough, I can see how audiences felt tired by this long-standing series and thought Bond needed time to cool and re-establish itself


The trouble is, the franchise went from bad to worse with Brosnan’s final picture, Die Another Day. In this 20th James Bond picture, 007 is captured and tortured in North Korea after the apparent death of General Moon’s (Kenneth Tsang, Parental Guidance) son Colonel Tan Sun Moon (Will Yun Lee, Witchblade). Bond is traded for Moon’s captured assistant Zao (Rick Yune) and escapes the custody of M (Judi Dench) as he plots his revenge. In Cuba, he crosses paths with NSA agent Giacinta ‘Jinx’ Johnson (Halle Berry) and traces a series of diamonds to British playboy Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens). At a special gala in Iceland, the truth about Graves and Bond’s revenge is revealed.

Like its predecessor, Die Another Day meanders like a montage of every other Bond picture. I really liked the touches of 40th Anniversary specialness in Q’s laboratory, but yes, the invisible Aston Martin is just too much. This isn’t the sixties films, where we can blame such travesties on it being an old picture. Give Bond the Batmobile complete with a Robin saying ‘Holy Invisible Aston Martin, James!’ why don’t you. The knife in the shoe, the jetpack-even the simple use of series staples like ‘Universal exports’ is all that’s needed to honor 40 years of films. Can’t you just do what makes the series good? I would trade one allusion to the hat toss over all the ice palace magic and chases. After the first five minutes, the ice chase wasn’t cool-The Living Daylights did it better. (Nobody does it better…)


Die Another Day starts off well enough, too, with a fine pre title sequence and the torture montage stylized within the titles. Very neat, we think we’re going somewhere Bond hasn’t really gone before-and then, we hear the theme song. Only modern pups who like hip hop electronic gibberish can rate this as one of the series’ top songs-the same crowd that doesn’t know of any other Bond before Brosnan. I thought the blu-ray disc was skipping! Madonna’s woeful title song is another sign of the series’ recent reliance on product placement and marketing to the MTV generation. It’s supposed to be so hip and edgy, but in the end it’s just bad. I much prefer ‘Beautiful Stranger’, Madonna’s song for Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. How ironic. Die Another Day does look great on blu-ray, but the sound was so agitating- big explosions and music over such soft voices. Sure, this is often a technical issue with most systems, but it’s also more writing on the wall that stock writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade’s story is less important.

Die Another Day was moved to 2002 to hit the 40 years of Bond exactly, but its Korean locales and sentiments seemed to come at just the wrong time. Again, we’re given some serious political intrigue with such promise; it’s modern and realistic, but a little too much, too. How can we take the pros and cons of Korean unification seriously when its hidden behind invisible cars, ice castles, mirrored satellites, and a General’s son stomping his foot while pretending to be a white boy? Whew, I think I lost myself there for a moment. If this is the film, I’d rather have Moneypenny’s VR sex romp, too.


I don’t care for Toby Stephens in Sharpe’s Challenge and I certainly don’t care for him here. It doesn’t bode well for a Bond when we prefer the villain over him, but it’s worse for the picture if the villain is useless all together. Spoiled adventurer Graves is too obviously going to get his wings burned like Icarus. We get it already! Rick Yune’s (The Fast and Furious) Zao is a far better villain, with freaky eyes and diamonds embedded in his face. This guy looks scary-he’s the one we want to be put down by Bond. Graves is just a spoiled little rich boy with big toys to over compensate for his daddy complex. Should I make a joke about Toby Stephens only getting anywhere in film because his mother is Maggie Smith? Nah.

Of course it’s fake, but Brosnan works the shaggy hair, itching beard, and prison scrubs to perfection. If the movie sucks, again it’s not his fault. Brosnan has the suave believability as well as the spy charm, and we can like him as Bond while admitting most of his tenure was ho-hum. Brosnan keeps his Bond mannerisms on form regardless of how realistic (like the Korean torture) or unrealistic (like that frigging car) things get. We watch Die Another Day because we want to see Brosnan’s Bond make it out of this picture unscathed. It was director Lee Tamahori (Along Came a Spider, Next, XXX) that let us down. The balance between the hyperbole and Bond’s revenge is just too askew.

While I don’t dislike Oscar winner Halle Berry, I’m not swooning over her Jinx, either. Dramatically, Berry’s fine, and many Bond fans think Jinx is one of the coolest and badass Bond Girls ever. However, I find her roles in action films off somehow. Berry seems out of place as Storm in the X-Men series, and in Die Another Day, it seemed like her Jinx wasn’t even in the room when the doody hit the fan. The romance and innuendo are on, but the supposedly water rise show stopper is the film’s obvious ‘homage’ to Honey Ryder, and the backwards dive in the hot pink bikini is such bad CGI it’s not even funny. In the supposedly so serious laser battle, can you honestly tell me it doesn’t look like Berry’s scenes weren’t filmed on different days? She’s hot and sexy and all that, but Jinx is another attempt to smarten and mature a Bond Girl, and it just doesn’t work. I never though I’d prefer Madonna over Halle Berry, but her uncredited fencing instructor Verity works far better than Jinx. She looks good, makes sex jokes with Bond, and provides him villainous information that brings him one step closer in the cat and mouse at hand. Madonna serves her purpose and departs in five minutes. Not bad.


There are a few fine things in Die Another Day, don’t get me wrong. Judi Dench makes the most of her M here. She struggles to keep the political and international peace while secretly supporting James. As skeptical as M may seem, we know deep down her tough love is also on Bond’s side. Equally complex- if underutilized- is Rosamund Pike (Pride and Prejudice) as Miranda Frost. Again, the simple formula of using a double entrée name goes a long way. She hot, she’s uptight, there’s ice. It’s a shame that Tamahori and the media upstaged this fine Bond Girl for the mediocrity of Jinx. Though he’ll never be Desmond Llewelyn, John Cleese’s first official film as Q has the wit and class of his predecessor. Again, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. The quiet ‘I never joke about my work’ does wonders in tribute to all the fun and wizardry of Q’s long standing relationship with 007.

On that note, it’s also great fun to simply hear the various mixes of the James Bond Theme and hints of other music associated with the series. And humor! Some of the innuendo is corny and forced, yes, but it’s these little Bondisms that are lacking in Craig’s tenure. If you stick to what makes Bond, well, Bond, you can take a mish-mashed picture like Die Another Day-or even a not too bad picture like the subsequent reboot Casino Royale- and make it something truly great. Despite some pretty awful pictures over these forty plus years, we’re still talking about Bond movies for a reason. Stop copying Bourne and give us the good stuff!


Bond collectors surely own The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day on DVD, but the numerous editions and pricey blu-ray sets are not for the casual fan. Brosnan lovers and fans of the casts can find what they’re looking for cheap enough, but again; I drive my husband insane with my complaints regarding the uneven sets and staggered blu-ray releases. Can the pups who only like Brosnan as Bond buy a single set of his four films alone? No. Mainstream action audiences might enjoy the visuals, fast pacing, and plot loss of The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day, but Bond fans can certainly find better pictures in the Eon canon. Intelligent viewers, unfortunately, should stay far, far away. Holy Bad Bond Reviews, James!