Quirky 80s Horror
By
Kristin Battestella
These
so bad they’re good or just plain peculiar thirty year odd cult faves,
obscurities, and oddities are not for everyone, but I’ll be darn if they aren’t
bemusingly spooky and family friendly fun!
Blood
Song – The second hand transfer is
dark and impossible to see at times and the musical interludes for this 1982
Frankie Avalon slice and dice tale are iffy. The flashback explanations also
should have happened sooner instead of falling into cliché harsh parents, teen
angst, one step behind cops, and misogynistic boyfriends. Though he’s always
suave and it would have been neat to see him against Beach Party type more, Avalon’s juvenile “nobody’s taking my flute
away from me!” crazy is a little too hokey to enjoy. Fortunately, the odd music
motifs, sincere ensemble, fifties murder/suicide, and old-fashioned feelings
layer the plot – and I do genuinely love all the wood paneling! Despite goofy
graphic transitions and thinly tied blood donor connections, the eerie hospital
escapes and dreams blending with reality remain interesting. No one believing
the young protagonist and treating her as if it’s no big deal also feels like
an ironic mixing of precursor Halloween
–about a vengeful escapee stalking a teen girl – and the subsequent Nightmare on Elm Street – where dreams
connect a killer to his next lady victim. Well shot murders, good blood, unique
camera design, and a whiff of nudity all do what they are supposed to do while
we wait for the inevitable one on one encounters. Viewers can take the good
here or enjoy the bemusement. After all, how can an able bodied man not catch up to the falling young girl
with a leg injury?
Little
Shop of Horrors – Yes, the not
horror per se musical song and dance designs of this 1986 stage to screen adaptation
will upset hardcore scary fans. Some vocals, voices, and songs will grate on
viewers’ ears while dated, cardboard looking, downtrodden set styles and plant
puppetry effects will be intolerable to audiences expecting a production with
more panache – be it paranormal or musical. What is intended as would be scary,
ominous, or sinister in the deadly plant sequences is perhaps ruined by the
sing a longs, taking the frightful and humorous to extremes from one minute to
the next. Thankfully, there is a welcome nostalgia captured here for fans that appreciate
both old time musicals and all in good fun sixties scares. Although they
probably won’t realize all the subtitles and mid century innuendo, kids can
enjoy the affectionate parody at face value through the smart period looks and
charming music sounds of the past. Bemusing cameos and performances by Rick Moranis
(Honey, I Shrunk the Kids), James Belushi
(According to Jim), and John Candy (Who’s Harry Crumb?) put the final bells
and whistles into place. My favorite part, however, and one that might be too
frightening for the little ones, is Bill Murray (Ghostbusters) as a patient who gets off on receiving the dentistry horrors
more the than Elvis gone bad Steve Martin
(Roxanne) who gets off on causing
such sadistic dental pain. Indeed, this largely sentimental before scary ode
isn’t for everyone, but it is directed
by Frank Oz aka Yoda, so what did you expect?
Night
of the Creeps – A hysterical
mini alien shootout – complete with Star
Wars jettisons and spacey subtitles – starts this 1986 zombie coed funfest
before continuing with a nostalgic, black and white fifties wink. Cool cars,
excellent classic radio, and period dames build a sinister atmosphere before
moving on to the then-contemporary rad, neon, and shoulder pads. There will be
too many try hard, lame-o nerds in love quips for some today, but it’s easy to
accept the eighties-ness and the quality if cliché sacrificial, sub textual
best friend thanks to bumbling cops, grumpy detectives, and bathroom scares.
The freaky circumstances build with ominous intercutting, pleasing creepy
crawlies, decrepit zombies, and undead designs. While some characters are
better than others – lead Jason Lively (National
Lampoon’s European Vacation) being one of the weak points – and foul
language and nudity are minimal, the action, expected body count, and sorority
shootouts proceed with a ridiculous variety of deaths and absurd fun. Go with
it and bring your Aqua Net to the rescue!
Puppet
Master – A quirky period opening
sets the campy but ominous mood for this 1989 funfest. Add eighties hair and
fashions to the seaside hotels, psychics, incense, stuffed dogs, and paranormal
gear and plenty of death will follow! The mostly no name cast puts on some bad
acting and the puppet effects will be goofy to some, but the peculiar ensemble
creates intrigue and this mediums smorgasbord keeps things entertaining – along
with these perverted little puppets. Those strong little suckers have some
personality! Bemusing puppet perspectives add to the design, and an abstract
palette distinguishes the flashbacks and visions as the violent pieces to the
puzzle unravel. Some language, nudity, kinky, and sex talk keeps the
conversation mature amid otherwise hokey exposition – Egyptian alchemy name
dropping yadda yadda – but eerie moments and a shocker or two make up for the
nonsensical plot. The approach is dated, even laughable if you think about it
too much, but the unintentional humor and the slightly inferior cast are the
only flaws here. Purists will have a fit over all the video releases and
varying editions and this does remain enjoyable, but still, there are 10
sequels to this movie? Ten?!